Trying to find my way.
So fast. Things happen so fast sometimes.
I think a lot of us are beings of time. What we often fail to remember, however, is that time is relative. Have you ever had one of those eye-opening moments, when you feel like all the experiences you've had in a certain area just click into place? And suddenly, out of no where, you realize what you were supposed to learn the whole time. You grow by leaps and bounds, just in that one moment. I don't know about you, but I've had several of those. Entire lives can be changed and turned around in just one existential second, one moment of clarity in which you stop being a fool and, just for a minute, realize that you are not as much a fool as the world would have you believe.
I have always been a fast mover. I don't waste time, I don't dwell for long, I let go and I move on. So I guess it was rather silly of me to decide I wasn't over Ben. I don't do that. When a relationship is done, I am done. Within a month, I recover. Often times much faster. I've baffled, upset, and angered people before because of the emotional speed at which I move. I have also made many people happy, because I forget arguments and let go of grudges. I guess it depends on which side of the fence you're on.
Anyway, the whole point of this was to say, in a roundabout way, that while I do still care about Ben, I am not still in love with him. I have come to believe that this was my "out," my self-imposed reason for breaking up with Morgan. I didn't want to admit that we weren't good for each other. I didn't want to say that we weren't working, and that it didn't feel right any more. I didn't want to think that maybe Morgan was meant only to keep me from marrying Ben.
Obviously, I don't mind saying that now...
So, I'm dating a new person, and I'm happy. Really, really happy. He came into my life out of no where; a friend of a friend. I didn't even like him at first -- at least, not in that way. It's completely backward for me. I usually don't date anyone I've known less than 2 years. But as my awesome friend Jason Bugg says, "Never date anyone who is okay with farting around you right off the bat." Well, there has been no farting. We did climb a mountain though.
So, yes. In less than two weeks I ended a 5-month relationship, figured out what was wrong, got over it, and started dating someone else whom I already have strong feelings for. This whole thing has greatly changed my perspective on dating, and what I thought I wanted from life. All kinds of new things are happening in my life. Good things.
See? Everything always works out.
I think a lot of us are beings of time. What we often fail to remember, however, is that time is relative. Have you ever had one of those eye-opening moments, when you feel like all the experiences you've had in a certain area just click into place? And suddenly, out of no where, you realize what you were supposed to learn the whole time. You grow by leaps and bounds, just in that one moment. I don't know about you, but I've had several of those. Entire lives can be changed and turned around in just one existential second, one moment of clarity in which you stop being a fool and, just for a minute, realize that you are not as much a fool as the world would have you believe.
I have always been a fast mover. I don't waste time, I don't dwell for long, I let go and I move on. So I guess it was rather silly of me to decide I wasn't over Ben. I don't do that. When a relationship is done, I am done. Within a month, I recover. Often times much faster. I've baffled, upset, and angered people before because of the emotional speed at which I move. I have also made many people happy, because I forget arguments and let go of grudges. I guess it depends on which side of the fence you're on.
Anyway, the whole point of this was to say, in a roundabout way, that while I do still care about Ben, I am not still in love with him. I have come to believe that this was my "out," my self-imposed reason for breaking up with Morgan. I didn't want to admit that we weren't good for each other. I didn't want to say that we weren't working, and that it didn't feel right any more. I didn't want to think that maybe Morgan was meant only to keep me from marrying Ben.
Obviously, I don't mind saying that now...
So, I'm dating a new person, and I'm happy. Really, really happy. He came into my life out of no where; a friend of a friend. I didn't even like him at first -- at least, not in that way. It's completely backward for me. I usually don't date anyone I've known less than 2 years. But as my awesome friend Jason Bugg says, "Never date anyone who is okay with farting around you right off the bat." Well, there has been no farting. We did climb a mountain though.
So, yes. In less than two weeks I ended a 5-month relationship, figured out what was wrong, got over it, and started dating someone else whom I already have strong feelings for. This whole thing has greatly changed my perspective on dating, and what I thought I wanted from life. All kinds of new things are happening in my life. Good things.
See? Everything always works out.