Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 5 part 2
And here we go again.
“Caitlin and I are both nudists. We detest wearing clothes and go nude whenever possible. They were all laughing because
... a cheap laugh is more important than the feelings of a traumatised eleven-year-old. Why are we supposed to care about these absolute wankers?
you made a comment about people seeing my knickers. I don’t wear them and I never have,” Emily stated.
Kim didn’t move. She just sat there with a blank stare on her face.
“Emily has been a naturist her entire life, but I only became one last year around this time,” Caitlin added.
Yes, we know. Can we stop recapping now?
Kim indicated Matt and Randy. “Are they nudists?”
“Hah!” Emily said, almost breaking into laughter. “That’ll be the day. No! They aren’t, but they know about us. Actually during the school year they see us naked practically every day. They don’t even notice us anymore.”
“That’s not at all true,” Matt said as he looked at Caitlin, who blushed.
Kim was aghast. “How do they see you? The school doesn’t allow you to go to class starkers, does it?”
She's just learned she belongs to a secret magical world she had no reason to believe even existed, and she's now on a magical train heading to magical school with her new magical friends. Why, exactly, does she give two shits about anything that doesn't involve magic right now? Starting, I'd have thought, with "how did he do that to me in the corridor and how can I stop it happening again?"
“Unfortunately no,” Caitlin answered. “We both would if we could, even if everyone else was totally clothed.
They're totally not exhibitionists or attention-seekers at all.
We work out every morning. Just recently we learned a charm that makes us look dressed even though we are nude. Typically we use the spell to exercise. Anyone that touches you can see you as you are; Matt and Randy are our holders.”
Semicolons are for separating independent clauses that are too closely related to justify making them separate sentences; it's supposed to rain tomorrow.
“Actually we were talking about that just before Jamie brought you here,” Caitlin said. “We were going to wait until the lady with the snack cart came. After she was gone we were going to lock the door, close the curtains and get undressed for the balance of the trip.”
Oh, for...
MISUSED BALANCE COUNT: 26
“But now that you’re here; we’ll stay dressed,” Emily quickly added.
“Thank you,” Kim said softly, sounding extremely relieved.
Sounding extremely relieved to whom? I thought we were still in her POV. Anyway, the snack trolley arrives:
“Stick with things like Chocolate Frogs and Cauldron Cakes. Oh! Pumpkin Pasties are especially tasty,” Caitlin suggested.
Kim took the advice of both Randy and Caitlin as she made her purchases. Emily helped her with the transaction, as Kim was confused dealing for the first time with Sickles and Knuts.
Because it's not like she's been to Diagon Alley one chapter ago. I can buy her not yet being used to wizarding money, but it's clearly not her first encounter with it.
“I got your mum,” Matt said to Caitlin as he unwrapped his Chocolate Frog and picked up the card.
“I have three of her and two of Dad, but I can’t get a Ron Weasley to complete the covenant,” Caitlin complained.
“And you never will,” Randy said quickly. When they stopped printing his card, it became a collector’s item. There’re worth a fortune.”
“Why did they stop making his card?” Kim asked innocently.
“Because many wizards are racist,” Emily proclaimed.
... right. Now the treatment of non-humans including werewolves is a clear allegory for racism and other social injustice in the real world, but I'm not convinced that an eleven-year-old pureblood would be knowledgeable enough about Muggles to make the connection. If you really want to hang this particular lampshade, then Hermione or possibly Harry would be a more logical character to do it.
“That’s partly true, but because he took part in the defeat of Voldemort most wizards were willing to accept him until that unpleasant incident,” Randy added.
“Remember guys, I’m muggle born,” Kim said with reserve. “I’m rather lacking in knowledge when it comes to wizard history.”
Which means, of course, an infodump. Not that we'd have avoided this if she had known about it; Hermione and Ginny were both happily describing to each other things they already knew way back in the very first chapter.
“I’ll let you borrow Harry Potter: A History,” Emily offered.
So Emily is lending her new classmate a book of erotic fanfic about her adopted parents. Complete with illustrations. Because that's what Harry Potter: A History has been established to consist of.
Kim looked at Caitlin with awe. “Your parents are famous?”
“Actually, I’m adopted,” Caitlin said. “Although they love me and treat me as if I was their real daughter.”
“They’re two of the greatest people in the world,” Emily agreed. “They didn’t think twice about giving Jamie and me a home when our parents were killed.”
"And I whined about it!"
“I don’t understand,” Kim said, obviously confused. “If all three took part in the defeat of Voldemort, why is Ron Weasley not regarded as highly as your parents?”
“Because people who don’t know him judge him by what he is instead of who he is and what he’s like.” Caitlin answered. “Professor Weasley is kind and loving. It wasn’t his choice to be a werewolf.”
“Werewolf!” Kim’s voice literally trembled.
This fic is literally frustrating to read.
“I just learned that witches and wizards actually exist. Now are you going to tell me that werewolves are real, also?”
“Not only werewolves, but vampires, merpeople and many other creatures that muggles argue are myths,” Randy said.
Kim momentarily sat bewildered. She truly was entering a new, strange magical world. “Was he born a werewolf?”
“No!” Matt answered. “Becoming a werewolf is not genetic. Another werewolf must bite you. Ron Weasley was bitten at the end of his sixth year.”
“It had to be horrible for him.” Kim said, compassion evident in her voice.
Again, evident to whom?
“It was and still is,” Caitlin said sadly. “He was dating my mum at the time it happened. Both she and Harry were very supportive. They are both Animagi and stayed with him the nights of the full moon.”
“Animagi?” Kim said, a blank expression on her face.
“They can change into an animal at will,” Caitlin clarified.
Yes, we know!
“For hundreds of years the wizarding world has looked down on werewolves as being only part human.” Matt explained. “When the covenant defeated Voldemort it was easy for our world to place Harry Potter and Hermione Granger on a pedestal. After all he was the boy who lived, and Granger despite being muggle born had proven herself to be the smartest and bravest witch in centuries. Many in high places had trouble, however, honoring a werewolf despite the service he had rendered. It was done with great reluctance.”
“That’s not right!” Kim complained. “Your world is bigoted. A person should be judged on his or her own merits.”
Matt gave Kim a condescending look. “You mean like the muggle world does?” Kim lowered her head realizing that Muggles were no better than wizards in that respect.
And Matt has no more business knowing about the issues of the Muggle world than Emily does. He's not been established to be Muggle-born, and as he's just going into his second year he won't have started Muggle Studies at Hogwarts either.
“To make a long story short,
Something this author and his betas know sod all about.
Weasley became a famous Quidditch player once out of school.”
Kim once again seemed lost. “Quidditch is an extremely popular wizard sport.” Matt added when he saw the expression on Kim’s face.
Just consider yourselves lucky the author didn't feel this scene needed even more padding, or we'd be revising the complete rules of Quidditch now.
“Nothing really,” Kim answered, shaking her head in bewilderment. “It’s just that when you and Caitlin said you were nudists, I found it rather out of the ordinary. Now after hearing about Quidditch, werewolves, vampires and a sundry of other things; being a nudist sounds quite normal by comparison.”
And, indeed, quite irrelevant.
It all happened so quickly that Kim didn’t have time to tell Emily that she had misunderstood her. Saying that something seemed normal by comparison didn’t mean she found it any less bizarre or tolerable, but before Kim could correct the misunderstanding, Emily’s skirt had dropped to the floor and she found herself for the first time in her life looking at another girl’s vagina.
No she wasn't. Not unless she was doing a gynaecological examination right there on the train, which quite frankly I wouldn't put past this fic anyway. If she's enough of a swot to be using (not just knowing, but actively thinking) the word "vagina" at an age when most people are still going on about fannies, privates and front bottoms, she's enough of a swot to know that it's not the right word in this context.
When she realized she was staring she lifted her head only to find herself now looking at Emily’s perky little breasts.
Emily's breasts have been established to be anything but little, and I had no idea that breasts were capable of being "cheerful and lively" (Concise Oxford English Dictionary). Maybe they have brains.
She turned quickly away, now to have her eyes fall on Caitlin’s butt as she bent over to pick up her skirt off the floor.
Nudity: completely nonsexual!
Somehow as locks got locked, curtains got closed and clothes got discarded, the seating arrangement also got changed.
And the passive voice got used for no apparent reason.
Kim noticed that although Matt and Randy were allegedly accustomed to seeing the girls nude, they still seemed captivated by the sight.
Completely nonsexual. Honest.
“Caitlin, you’ve changed during the last two months,” Matt said in trepidation. “You’ve gotten even more attractive and your breasts are…” Matt blushed. “They’re starting to develop. You’re beautiful.”
Caitlin has changed over the summer. Because it's not like that's the oldest cliché in the fandom or anything like that. I can't even give this a pass for not being a cliché when it was written, because jokes about Harry noticing that Hermione had changed over the summer were doing the rounds when Chamber of Secrets was released.
Caitlin jumped from her seat and gave Matt a peck on the cheek; then returned a flushed smile on her face.
Emily waited for Randy to make a comment, but he remained silent; his eyes glued between her legs.
Well, he is Randy.
Kim imagined that she’d have every inch of the compartment ceiling etched forever in her mind by the time they reached Hogsmeade because that was the only place she felt she could look without running the chance of gawking at a naked body part.
A completely nonsexual naked body part, of course.
After a time, Emily observed Kim staring at the ceiling and said, “Kim if you’re embarrassed by our nudity, Caitlin and I will get dressed. You’ll get a neck cramp if you spend the balance of the journey studying the fly dung on the ceiling.”
MISUSED BALANCE COUNT: 27
“That’s because we think of nudity in a dissimilar way than you,” Emily said, and then tried to explain. “Your parents more than likely raised you to think that being naked was shocking. That exposing your body was a dreadful thing to do. Most people are raised to think that nudity is dirty. Being nude isn’t dirty; it’s the things that people associate with it that are sometimes crude.”
And the author is doing a very good job of convincing us not to associate those things with it.
“But people aren’t suppose to see your breasts, or butt,” Kim argued. “And most certainly it’s wrong to expose your private area.”
"Most certainly it's wrong to expose your private area!" THIS IS NOT HOW ELEVEN-YEAR-OLDS TALK. In fact, I don't think it's how anyone talks.
“A lot of people can’t because they have a lifetime of being told it was wrong,” Caitlin said. “You notice Matt and Randy aren’t nude. Neither Emily nor I have ever even asked them to try it. Nudists don’t push their lifestyle on others.”
You damnable liar.
“Caitlin and I are both nudists. We detest wearing clothes and go nude whenever possible. They were all laughing because
... a cheap laugh is more important than the feelings of a traumatised eleven-year-old. Why are we supposed to care about these absolute wankers?
you made a comment about people seeing my knickers. I don’t wear them and I never have,” Emily stated.
Kim didn’t move. She just sat there with a blank stare on her face.
“Emily has been a naturist her entire life, but I only became one last year around this time,” Caitlin added.
Yes, we know. Can we stop recapping now?
Kim indicated Matt and Randy. “Are they nudists?”
“Hah!” Emily said, almost breaking into laughter. “That’ll be the day. No! They aren’t, but they know about us. Actually during the school year they see us naked practically every day. They don’t even notice us anymore.”
“That’s not at all true,” Matt said as he looked at Caitlin, who blushed.
Kim was aghast. “How do they see you? The school doesn’t allow you to go to class starkers, does it?”
She's just learned she belongs to a secret magical world she had no reason to believe even existed, and she's now on a magical train heading to magical school with her new magical friends. Why, exactly, does she give two shits about anything that doesn't involve magic right now? Starting, I'd have thought, with "how did he do that to me in the corridor and how can I stop it happening again?"
“Unfortunately no,” Caitlin answered. “We both would if we could, even if everyone else was totally clothed.
They're totally not exhibitionists or attention-seekers at all.
We work out every morning. Just recently we learned a charm that makes us look dressed even though we are nude. Typically we use the spell to exercise. Anyone that touches you can see you as you are; Matt and Randy are our holders.”
Semicolons are for separating independent clauses that are too closely related to justify making them separate sentences; it's supposed to rain tomorrow.
“Actually we were talking about that just before Jamie brought you here,” Caitlin said. “We were going to wait until the lady with the snack cart came. After she was gone we were going to lock the door, close the curtains and get undressed for the balance of the trip.”
Oh, for...
MISUSED BALANCE COUNT: 26
“But now that you’re here; we’ll stay dressed,” Emily quickly added.
“Thank you,” Kim said softly, sounding extremely relieved.
Sounding extremely relieved to whom? I thought we were still in her POV. Anyway, the snack trolley arrives:
“Stick with things like Chocolate Frogs and Cauldron Cakes. Oh! Pumpkin Pasties are especially tasty,” Caitlin suggested.
Kim took the advice of both Randy and Caitlin as she made her purchases. Emily helped her with the transaction, as Kim was confused dealing for the first time with Sickles and Knuts.
Because it's not like she's been to Diagon Alley one chapter ago. I can buy her not yet being used to wizarding money, but it's clearly not her first encounter with it.
“I got your mum,” Matt said to Caitlin as he unwrapped his Chocolate Frog and picked up the card.
“I have three of her and two of Dad, but I can’t get a Ron Weasley to complete the covenant,” Caitlin complained.
“And you never will,” Randy said quickly. When they stopped printing his card, it became a collector’s item. There’re worth a fortune.”
“Why did they stop making his card?” Kim asked innocently.
“Because many wizards are racist,” Emily proclaimed.
... right. Now the treatment of non-humans including werewolves is a clear allegory for racism and other social injustice in the real world, but I'm not convinced that an eleven-year-old pureblood would be knowledgeable enough about Muggles to make the connection. If you really want to hang this particular lampshade, then Hermione or possibly Harry would be a more logical character to do it.
“That’s partly true, but because he took part in the defeat of Voldemort most wizards were willing to accept him until that unpleasant incident,” Randy added.
“Remember guys, I’m muggle born,” Kim said with reserve. “I’m rather lacking in knowledge when it comes to wizard history.”
Which means, of course, an infodump. Not that we'd have avoided this if she had known about it; Hermione and Ginny were both happily describing to each other things they already knew way back in the very first chapter.
“I’ll let you borrow Harry Potter: A History,” Emily offered.
So Emily is lending her new classmate a book of erotic fanfic about her adopted parents. Complete with illustrations. Because that's what Harry Potter: A History has been established to consist of.
Kim looked at Caitlin with awe. “Your parents are famous?”
“Actually, I’m adopted,” Caitlin said. “Although they love me and treat me as if I was their real daughter.”
“They’re two of the greatest people in the world,” Emily agreed. “They didn’t think twice about giving Jamie and me a home when our parents were killed.”
"And I whined about it!"
“I don’t understand,” Kim said, obviously confused. “If all three took part in the defeat of Voldemort, why is Ron Weasley not regarded as highly as your parents?”
“Because people who don’t know him judge him by what he is instead of who he is and what he’s like.” Caitlin answered. “Professor Weasley is kind and loving. It wasn’t his choice to be a werewolf.”
“Werewolf!” Kim’s voice literally trembled.
This fic is literally frustrating to read.
“I just learned that witches and wizards actually exist. Now are you going to tell me that werewolves are real, also?”
“Not only werewolves, but vampires, merpeople and many other creatures that muggles argue are myths,” Randy said.
Kim momentarily sat bewildered. She truly was entering a new, strange magical world. “Was he born a werewolf?”
“No!” Matt answered. “Becoming a werewolf is not genetic. Another werewolf must bite you. Ron Weasley was bitten at the end of his sixth year.”
“It had to be horrible for him.” Kim said, compassion evident in her voice.
Again, evident to whom?
“It was and still is,” Caitlin said sadly. “He was dating my mum at the time it happened. Both she and Harry were very supportive. They are both Animagi and stayed with him the nights of the full moon.”
“Animagi?” Kim said, a blank expression on her face.
“They can change into an animal at will,” Caitlin clarified.
Yes, we know!
“For hundreds of years the wizarding world has looked down on werewolves as being only part human.” Matt explained. “When the covenant defeated Voldemort it was easy for our world to place Harry Potter and Hermione Granger on a pedestal. After all he was the boy who lived, and Granger despite being muggle born had proven herself to be the smartest and bravest witch in centuries. Many in high places had trouble, however, honoring a werewolf despite the service he had rendered. It was done with great reluctance.”
“That’s not right!” Kim complained. “Your world is bigoted. A person should be judged on his or her own merits.”
Matt gave Kim a condescending look. “You mean like the muggle world does?” Kim lowered her head realizing that Muggles were no better than wizards in that respect.
And Matt has no more business knowing about the issues of the Muggle world than Emily does. He's not been established to be Muggle-born, and as he's just going into his second year he won't have started Muggle Studies at Hogwarts either.
“To make a long story short,
Something this author and his betas know sod all about.
Weasley became a famous Quidditch player once out of school.”
Kim once again seemed lost. “Quidditch is an extremely popular wizard sport.” Matt added when he saw the expression on Kim’s face.
Just consider yourselves lucky the author didn't feel this scene needed even more padding, or we'd be revising the complete rules of Quidditch now.
“Nothing really,” Kim answered, shaking her head in bewilderment. “It’s just that when you and Caitlin said you were nudists, I found it rather out of the ordinary. Now after hearing about Quidditch, werewolves, vampires and a sundry of other things; being a nudist sounds quite normal by comparison.”
And, indeed, quite irrelevant.
It all happened so quickly that Kim didn’t have time to tell Emily that she had misunderstood her. Saying that something seemed normal by comparison didn’t mean she found it any less bizarre or tolerable, but before Kim could correct the misunderstanding, Emily’s skirt had dropped to the floor and she found herself for the first time in her life looking at another girl’s vagina.
No she wasn't. Not unless she was doing a gynaecological examination right there on the train, which quite frankly I wouldn't put past this fic anyway. If she's enough of a swot to be using (not just knowing, but actively thinking) the word "vagina" at an age when most people are still going on about fannies, privates and front bottoms, she's enough of a swot to know that it's not the right word in this context.
When she realized she was staring she lifted her head only to find herself now looking at Emily’s perky little breasts.
Emily's breasts have been established to be anything but little, and I had no idea that breasts were capable of being "cheerful and lively" (Concise Oxford English Dictionary). Maybe they have brains.
She turned quickly away, now to have her eyes fall on Caitlin’s butt as she bent over to pick up her skirt off the floor.
Nudity: completely nonsexual!
Somehow as locks got locked, curtains got closed and clothes got discarded, the seating arrangement also got changed.
And the passive voice got used for no apparent reason.
Kim noticed that although Matt and Randy were allegedly accustomed to seeing the girls nude, they still seemed captivated by the sight.
Completely nonsexual. Honest.
“Caitlin, you’ve changed during the last two months,” Matt said in trepidation. “You’ve gotten even more attractive and your breasts are…” Matt blushed. “They’re starting to develop. You’re beautiful.”
Caitlin has changed over the summer. Because it's not like that's the oldest cliché in the fandom or anything like that. I can't even give this a pass for not being a cliché when it was written, because jokes about Harry noticing that Hermione had changed over the summer were doing the rounds when Chamber of Secrets was released.
Caitlin jumped from her seat and gave Matt a peck on the cheek; then returned a flushed smile on her face.
Emily waited for Randy to make a comment, but he remained silent; his eyes glued between her legs.
Well, he is Randy.
Kim imagined that she’d have every inch of the compartment ceiling etched forever in her mind by the time they reached Hogsmeade because that was the only place she felt she could look without running the chance of gawking at a naked body part.
A completely nonsexual naked body part, of course.
After a time, Emily observed Kim staring at the ceiling and said, “Kim if you’re embarrassed by our nudity, Caitlin and I will get dressed. You’ll get a neck cramp if you spend the balance of the journey studying the fly dung on the ceiling.”
MISUSED BALANCE COUNT: 27
“That’s because we think of nudity in a dissimilar way than you,” Emily said, and then tried to explain. “Your parents more than likely raised you to think that being naked was shocking. That exposing your body was a dreadful thing to do. Most people are raised to think that nudity is dirty. Being nude isn’t dirty; it’s the things that people associate with it that are sometimes crude.”
And the author is doing a very good job of convincing us not to associate those things with it.
“But people aren’t suppose to see your breasts, or butt,” Kim argued. “And most certainly it’s wrong to expose your private area.”
"Most certainly it's wrong to expose your private area!" THIS IS NOT HOW ELEVEN-YEAR-OLDS TALK. In fact, I don't think it's how anyone talks.
“A lot of people can’t because they have a lifetime of being told it was wrong,” Caitlin said. “You notice Matt and Randy aren’t nude. Neither Emily nor I have ever even asked them to try it. Nudists don’t push their lifestyle on others.”
You damnable liar.