Deserving Chapter 37
It's been a while since Deserving has actually given us a sex scene, and believe me Chapter 37 more than makes up for lost time.
Madam Sprout was making big and significant changes. One of the first things she did was clear all Slytherin Aurors who had been made to flee for fear of Single’s unjustifiably cruel interview practices.
He'd been forcing people to read Deserving.
She had the Minister of Magic sign a law that prohibited any Auror to be interviewed without two of his or her chosen coworkers. That meant that Kingsley could sit in on any interrogation practiced on his men. Very few wizards, including Single, messed with Kingsley Shacklebolt.
The author needs to do something to convince us that Single is still a credible threat, because he's been completely ineffectual since Harry pwned him and now Kingsley and the unnamed Minister for Magic (who's not Kingsley in this fic) have also moved against him. How's he even still got a job?
Harry was in his sitting room when Sly, Millicent and Matthew came down with their bags. Sly had explain to him that he no longer needed the sanctuary of Harry’s house and that he would be taking his family to his own house. Harry couldn’t help but to feel a sense of abandonment. They were all leaving him. Was it not just a couple of days ago when he was seated at the head of his family table?
No, because Severus was busy for some weeks settling into his new life in the previous chapter.
Were they not all laughing and having a great time? Harry took an energizing breath that did little for him.
Then how was it energising?
He had messed up again. He had a family and he lost it again. He broke it.
Nice job breaking it, hero.
Sly gave him a thank you and good-bye hug. Harry carried Baby and took him up as high as his arms could stretch making the little one laugh.
And forget his new name.
“I won’t go. If you want me to stay… if you need me…” fumbled Millicent for the right words.
"Millicent fumbled for the right words" would actually read quite well here. As it is, the author turned a semi-decent piece of narration into yet another fucking said bookism.
“You know very well that you do not need and invitation to our home,” she said, looking at Sly for confirmation.
“It is your home and you can have anyone you want over,” Sly confirmed.
I can make a comment about the redundant narration, but more interesting is how once again a '50s sensibility seems to be creeping into this pansexual utopia. Of course she needs her husband's permission to invite people to the house.
The following Friday Harry was back with a grin from ear to ear.
“It worked Snape! It really worked!”
Severus looked at Harry in disbelief. Was Harry expecting him to celebrate with him?
“I took Dennis to the movies and he began to stroke my thigh and it happened. It really happened,” he said, still smiling.
Good job it was dark.
Severus looked at Harry and noticed that he had a bulge in his pants. Why?
I'd have thought you'd know better than anyone why.
“I don’t know what to do. I have been reading the book we got on our wedding night…” the book given to them for then thought Severus, “…and it talks about so many different things. I always thought it was a matter of insert round peg in round hole, but obviously it is so much more than that,” said Harry, looking at Severus for help.
Tell that to the fanfic writers.
“I was hoping you would help me… you know… walk me through some of these things mentioned in the book,” said Harry, pulling the book out of his pocket.
Oh, that old set-up.
The book that was given to them on their wedding night, thought Severus, again. How could Harry even ask him such a thing?
The book of erotic fanart. (Again, if anyone knows of any Deserving fan-art I'd be most curious.) Which wasn't given to them on their actual wedding night in any case, though obviously with an eye to it.
“So you’ll do it… where do we start?” said Harry a bit timidly. “I guess we should go up to your bedroom,” he suggested.
“We can do that but I hope you understand that when you are with Mr. Creevey he will expect some foreplay,” interjected Snape.
How is that an interjection?
Severus looked away, which clearly indicated to Harry that he was way off the mark.
“What?” protested Harry.
“You say that Mr. Creevey is chaste and pure, but yet you are expecting to take him to bed without any preparation, be it physical or emotional.”
And once again we have this obsession with purity and chastity that seems completely out of place in the society of the Deservingverse.
“Maybe you should offer your lover a drink. Something you might both enjoy. It does not have to be something as sophisticated as champagne or wine as long as you both enjoy it,” suggested Snape.
“Butterbear,” concluded Harry.
Talk about timing.
“Given the fact that you want to set a romantic mood maybe champagne and some strawberries will do the trick.”
“Strawberries? Why strawberries?”
“They tend to bring out the sweetness in the champagne,” lectured Snape.
One sentence is not a lecture.
“So I guess this is where we start actually doing it, right?”
“Is that what you are going to announce to young Mr. Creevey? You need to think of smooth transitions. You wish to be subtle in your seduction. Make him feel safe and comfortable in your arms.”
Subtle, in this fic? Fat chance.
Harry moved in and took Severus in his arms and kissed him. OH! It felt so good. Snape always tasted like pure heaven.
A taste of pure heaven: try new Snape-Os today!
“Can we go upstairs now?” whispered Harry into Severus’ ear as he trailed a path of kisses down his neck.
“Yes,” hissed Severus
I think Parseltongue is a mood-killer.
Severus didn’t think he was a good lover! Was Harry’s silent reaction but he soon had to admit to himself that he had given Snape plenty of ammunition for that statement.
I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!
Severus remembered waiting countless times for Harry to come up to the bedroom after he had sent Severus to get ready. It now made so much more sense.
Doesn't it just.
Harry stood up to his full height. He would show Snape that he could be a good lover. He accepted Snape into his arms and again claimed Severus’ mouth. As he kissed he began to unbutton Severus’ shirt and soon had his husband’s upper body all to himself.
No he didn't, because they're divorced. Keep up.
He ran his hands all over the expansive back of the tall and leaner man. He could feel the strength of the man in his arms. Strength that submitted to his ministrations.
\~/
He wanted to show him how much he enjoyed his body and began a long trail of kisses from neck to toe. Making sure to stop at those delectable parts and indulging in extra ministrations like licks and nibbles.
Severus isn't an ice-cream cone, you know. Also, \~/
Harry looked up and saw nothing but pleasure on Snape’s face. He had never done this and it made him feel ten feet tall. He took out the lube that they had gotten for their wedding night and placed it on the bed. Severus saw it and came down from his high. Harry was using their lube on his new lover.
OH TEH NOEZ TEH HORROR!
“Mr. Creevey is a young and romantic wizard. I am sure he has read plenty of romantic novels and will wish to look into your eyes while he loses his virginity.”
Why does Severus know so much about Dennis and his yaoi collection?
“And it is not but you will have to find a way to persuade Mr. Creevey of this without making him feel that his is giving up on his notion of romanticism.”
Harry looked defeated as if an impossible task had been assigned to him; a task he knew he could not complete.
The task of... reading Deserving without laughing!
Harry lifted Snape’s thighs and Severus held on to them pulling his knees close to his chest. Harry felt awkward and knew that if he felt this way Snape must feel ten times worst so he decided to ease Severus into things by laying in bed and placing his head close to Severus’ groin. He first sniffed and then kissed, and then he began to nibble until he finally took Severus into his mouth. Oh Merlin! Severus tasted so good. Was there anything that wasn’t just perfect about him? He wanted to swallow Severus’ manhood
I guess that would be one solution to the "I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!" issue. Ouch!
and the fact that Severus was yelping in pleasure fueled his ambition. It was the perfect moment to insert the lubed finger and Snape took it all in without hesitation. Severus couldn’t believe the pleasure he was experiencing. Harry’s finger in his anal cavity and Harry’s lips wrapped around his penis. It was heaven, pure heaven.
Just as it was for Harry.
Harry didn’t want to hear it and inserted a second finger that sent Severus into a mad swirl where he could not remember his own name, much less the reason why he was in bed with his ex-husband. Harry was sucking relentlessly and was that a third finger? Yes! OH Merlin, please don’t let it stop. “OH! Oh! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…” Severus had come.
Evidently this chapter was taking place on Talk like a Pirate Day.
He had no idea how it had happened. How he had lost control. He covered his face in shame and Harry drank his white liquid as if it were the most delicious nectar he had ever drank.
TMI D:
“Forgive me, Sir,” said Severus from in between his hands.
Harry scooted up to Severus’ eyelevel. “Why? It was brilliant. I can’t believe I made you lose it like that. Here, taste how wonderful you taste,” said Harry, engulfing Snape’s mouth with his.
So much for I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!
Harry was going to be an excellent lover. Creevy was a lucky man he thought as he turned to show he was ready.
Harry lifted Snape’s midsection so he was on his knees and then lowered his head onto an awaiting pillow. He positioned himself behind the man who was once his husband and began kissing his neck and back as he slowly inserted his cock into place. He was going to begin a rhythmical hump when he remembered something he had read and reached under and grabbed Snape’s cock in his hand. Soon he had Snape whimpering again with each trust of Harry’s hips and each pull of his hand.
“Harry… Harry… Ha…” cried Snape.
Harry wished he would stop doing so. He wanted to hear Snape yell “Sir” or “husband” he wanted Severus to want to be in his arms. To find pleasure in his caresses.
Meanwhile, I wish the author would learn how to use POV properly.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Severus was squeezing. Oh! It always felt so good when he did that. OHHHH! It felt so good. It smelled so good, it tasted so good. OOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had buried his seed deep within Snape. It was probably the last time he would be able to leave his seed within Snape. Seed that would never grow.
Which... does tend to be the case, even in this fic.
Continued...
Madam Sprout was making big and significant changes. One of the first things she did was clear all Slytherin Aurors who had been made to flee for fear of Single’s unjustifiably cruel interview practices.
He'd been forcing people to read Deserving.
She had the Minister of Magic sign a law that prohibited any Auror to be interviewed without two of his or her chosen coworkers. That meant that Kingsley could sit in on any interrogation practiced on his men. Very few wizards, including Single, messed with Kingsley Shacklebolt.
The author needs to do something to convince us that Single is still a credible threat, because he's been completely ineffectual since Harry pwned him and now Kingsley and the unnamed Minister for Magic (who's not Kingsley in this fic) have also moved against him. How's he even still got a job?
Harry was in his sitting room when Sly, Millicent and Matthew came down with their bags. Sly had explain to him that he no longer needed the sanctuary of Harry’s house and that he would be taking his family to his own house. Harry couldn’t help but to feel a sense of abandonment. They were all leaving him. Was it not just a couple of days ago when he was seated at the head of his family table?
No, because Severus was busy for some weeks settling into his new life in the previous chapter.
Were they not all laughing and having a great time? Harry took an energizing breath that did little for him.
Then how was it energising?
He had messed up again. He had a family and he lost it again. He broke it.
Nice job breaking it, hero.
Sly gave him a thank you and good-bye hug. Harry carried Baby and took him up as high as his arms could stretch making the little one laugh.
And forget his new name.
“I won’t go. If you want me to stay… if you need me…” fumbled Millicent for the right words.
"Millicent fumbled for the right words" would actually read quite well here. As it is, the author turned a semi-decent piece of narration into yet another fucking said bookism.
“You know very well that you do not need and invitation to our home,” she said, looking at Sly for confirmation.
“It is your home and you can have anyone you want over,” Sly confirmed.
I can make a comment about the redundant narration, but more interesting is how once again a '50s sensibility seems to be creeping into this pansexual utopia. Of course she needs her husband's permission to invite people to the house.
The following Friday Harry was back with a grin from ear to ear.
“It worked Snape! It really worked!”
Severus looked at Harry in disbelief. Was Harry expecting him to celebrate with him?
“I took Dennis to the movies and he began to stroke my thigh and it happened. It really happened,” he said, still smiling.
Good job it was dark.
Severus looked at Harry and noticed that he had a bulge in his pants. Why?
I'd have thought you'd know better than anyone why.
“I don’t know what to do. I have been reading the book we got on our wedding night…” the book given to them for then thought Severus, “…and it talks about so many different things. I always thought it was a matter of insert round peg in round hole, but obviously it is so much more than that,” said Harry, looking at Severus for help.
Tell that to the fanfic writers.
“I was hoping you would help me… you know… walk me through some of these things mentioned in the book,” said Harry, pulling the book out of his pocket.
Oh, that old set-up.
The book that was given to them on their wedding night, thought Severus, again. How could Harry even ask him such a thing?
The book of erotic fanart. (Again, if anyone knows of any Deserving fan-art I'd be most curious.) Which wasn't given to them on their actual wedding night in any case, though obviously with an eye to it.
“So you’ll do it… where do we start?” said Harry a bit timidly. “I guess we should go up to your bedroom,” he suggested.
“We can do that but I hope you understand that when you are with Mr. Creevey he will expect some foreplay,” interjected Snape.
How is that an interjection?
Severus looked away, which clearly indicated to Harry that he was way off the mark.
“What?” protested Harry.
“You say that Mr. Creevey is chaste and pure, but yet you are expecting to take him to bed without any preparation, be it physical or emotional.”
And once again we have this obsession with purity and chastity that seems completely out of place in the society of the Deservingverse.
“Maybe you should offer your lover a drink. Something you might both enjoy. It does not have to be something as sophisticated as champagne or wine as long as you both enjoy it,” suggested Snape.
“Butterbear,” concluded Harry.
Talk about timing.
“Given the fact that you want to set a romantic mood maybe champagne and some strawberries will do the trick.”
“Strawberries? Why strawberries?”
“They tend to bring out the sweetness in the champagne,” lectured Snape.
One sentence is not a lecture.
“So I guess this is where we start actually doing it, right?”
“Is that what you are going to announce to young Mr. Creevey? You need to think of smooth transitions. You wish to be subtle in your seduction. Make him feel safe and comfortable in your arms.”
Subtle, in this fic? Fat chance.
Harry moved in and took Severus in his arms and kissed him. OH! It felt so good. Snape always tasted like pure heaven.
A taste of pure heaven: try new Snape-Os today!
“Can we go upstairs now?” whispered Harry into Severus’ ear as he trailed a path of kisses down his neck.
“Yes,” hissed Severus
I think Parseltongue is a mood-killer.
Severus didn’t think he was a good lover! Was Harry’s silent reaction but he soon had to admit to himself that he had given Snape plenty of ammunition for that statement.
I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!
Severus remembered waiting countless times for Harry to come up to the bedroom after he had sent Severus to get ready. It now made so much more sense.
Doesn't it just.
Harry stood up to his full height. He would show Snape that he could be a good lover. He accepted Snape into his arms and again claimed Severus’ mouth. As he kissed he began to unbutton Severus’ shirt and soon had his husband’s upper body all to himself.
No he didn't, because they're divorced. Keep up.
He ran his hands all over the expansive back of the tall and leaner man. He could feel the strength of the man in his arms. Strength that submitted to his ministrations.
\~/
He wanted to show him how much he enjoyed his body and began a long trail of kisses from neck to toe. Making sure to stop at those delectable parts and indulging in extra ministrations like licks and nibbles.
Severus isn't an ice-cream cone, you know. Also, \~/
Harry looked up and saw nothing but pleasure on Snape’s face. He had never done this and it made him feel ten feet tall. He took out the lube that they had gotten for their wedding night and placed it on the bed. Severus saw it and came down from his high. Harry was using their lube on his new lover.
OH TEH NOEZ TEH HORROR!
“Mr. Creevey is a young and romantic wizard. I am sure he has read plenty of romantic novels and will wish to look into your eyes while he loses his virginity.”
Why does Severus know so much about Dennis and his yaoi collection?
“And it is not but you will have to find a way to persuade Mr. Creevey of this without making him feel that his is giving up on his notion of romanticism.”
Harry looked defeated as if an impossible task had been assigned to him; a task he knew he could not complete.
The task of... reading Deserving without laughing!
Harry lifted Snape’s thighs and Severus held on to them pulling his knees close to his chest. Harry felt awkward and knew that if he felt this way Snape must feel ten times worst so he decided to ease Severus into things by laying in bed and placing his head close to Severus’ groin. He first sniffed and then kissed, and then he began to nibble until he finally took Severus into his mouth. Oh Merlin! Severus tasted so good. Was there anything that wasn’t just perfect about him? He wanted to swallow Severus’ manhood
I guess that would be one solution to the "I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!" issue. Ouch!
and the fact that Severus was yelping in pleasure fueled his ambition. It was the perfect moment to insert the lubed finger and Snape took it all in without hesitation. Severus couldn’t believe the pleasure he was experiencing. Harry’s finger in his anal cavity and Harry’s lips wrapped around his penis. It was heaven, pure heaven.
Just as it was for Harry.
Harry didn’t want to hear it and inserted a second finger that sent Severus into a mad swirl where he could not remember his own name, much less the reason why he was in bed with his ex-husband. Harry was sucking relentlessly and was that a third finger? Yes! OH Merlin, please don’t let it stop. “OH! Oh! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…” Severus had come.
Evidently this chapter was taking place on Talk like a Pirate Day.
He had no idea how it had happened. How he had lost control. He covered his face in shame and Harry drank his white liquid as if it were the most delicious nectar he had ever drank.
TMI D:
“Forgive me, Sir,” said Severus from in between his hands.
Harry scooted up to Severus’ eyelevel. “Why? It was brilliant. I can’t believe I made you lose it like that. Here, taste how wonderful you taste,” said Harry, engulfing Snape’s mouth with his.
So much for I HATE THAT YOU HAVE A COCK!
Harry was going to be an excellent lover. Creevy was a lucky man he thought as he turned to show he was ready.
Harry lifted Snape’s midsection so he was on his knees and then lowered his head onto an awaiting pillow. He positioned himself behind the man who was once his husband and began kissing his neck and back as he slowly inserted his cock into place. He was going to begin a rhythmical hump when he remembered something he had read and reached under and grabbed Snape’s cock in his hand. Soon he had Snape whimpering again with each trust of Harry’s hips and each pull of his hand.
“Harry… Harry… Ha…” cried Snape.
Harry wished he would stop doing so. He wanted to hear Snape yell “Sir” or “husband” he wanted Severus to want to be in his arms. To find pleasure in his caresses.
Meanwhile, I wish the author would learn how to use POV properly.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Severus was squeezing. Oh! It always felt so good when he did that. OHHHH! It felt so good. It smelled so good, it tasted so good. OOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had buried his seed deep within Snape. It was probably the last time he would be able to leave his seed within Snape. Seed that would never grow.
Which... does tend to be the case, even in this fic.
Continued...