Deserving Chapter 28
In which Baby the baby finally gets a name that doesn't suck. Also, I now have a Tumblr which is looking quite bare at the moment but give me time. :)
When Harry got home he found Severus waiting for him in the sitting room. The rest had gone to sleep. Severus put down his tea and was going to help Harry with his cape when Harry motioned him to stay put.
“Finish your tea.”
“It is too hot. I can help you while I wait for it to cool.”
[snip]
“You know, if I take a sip, I will know all of your secrets,” said Harry with a suggestive smile.
This is quite cute. OOC, not very well written, still prone to redundant said bookisms:
“You jest,” accused Severus.
... because we wouldn't have known this was an accusation otherwise. It's like saying "Sorry," he apologised which I sincerely wish I was making up as an exaggeration. But no, it's a real example. See for yourself.
Harry was unprepared for the flood of information he was about to receive.
“He giggled and played all afternoon. You should have seen him run with Nicky and Richard. It is as if he has woken from long slumber. Richard is ecstatic that Baby now comes when he calls and he made sure to include him in all of Nicky’s and his games. And Mr. Sly, you should have seen him. He was on all fours playing with them. It was hard to tell who was…”
There's no reason this shouldn't have been put in a logical order. Harry realises his unpreparedness after being subjected to the infodump, because he's not precognitive. Unless he's been getting lessons from Millicent.
“If you had not left in haste you would have enjoyed the events, but for some reason that only you and Merlin know, you left a house full of guests,” said Severus, trying to sound cross and failing miserably with his husband nipping at his earlobe.
For some reason only the author and presumably Merlin know, they were having a huge impromptu party on a weekday morning. Harry probably had to work.
“How will you prevent them from coming to get me?
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They believe me to be…”
... a paedophile, except that subplot seemed to vanish as quickly as it appeared.
“Take off your clothes and get in bed while I freshen up,” said Harry, leaving Severus in the room.
When Severus got into bed to wait for Harry he noticed that his tea appeared, now at the perfect temperature. Severus smiled at his husband’s consideration.
A merciful fade to black.
Harry decided to keep Single on his toes, so he began to make very public appearances. He would arrive in his Gryffindor Quidditch uniform riding the latest and fastest broom on the market to public events like professional quidditch games, grand store openings and to congratulate the running candidate at the public hearings.
The author gets points for remembering the existence of Quidditch. An amazing number of fanfics don't, to the extent that even seeing Quidditch mentioned is a pleasant surprise. I'm not sure how flaunting his existence in Single's face is meant to keep him at bay, but whatever.
He even attended the World Quidditch Tournament, riding Charlie’s old but still intimidating dragon.
I'm sure there's a rule against playing Quidditch on a dragon. Anyway, the last we saw of Charlie's dragon (fnarr) it wasn't intimidating at all.
Severus was the first one to notice the floo stir. Permission was granted
... by whom?
and Dennis came through, followed by Robert, the nursery designer, his wife and two children.
In true Harry Potter fashion, the throwaway character last seen twenty chapters ago turns out to be important to the plot.
Severus, using his years as spy had the good sense to get the family away from the floo, where if someone was to firecall would not be able to spot them. Then he turned to Millicent and Sly.
“Follow,” was his simple command. He led all six of his little snakes to the cellar door
There weren't six Slytherins there, assuming that's what "little snakes" are meant to be. There were three: Millicent, Sly and Robert's wife.
“So are you two going to tell me what is going on?”
Dennis seemed uncomfortable but Snape was obviously not throwing him a lifeline.
"Can I firecall a friend, Chris?"
“Well, you see… um. Well, you know how Robert is a Gryffindor, well…”
“His wife is not,” Severus decided to finally intervene.
“What do you mean, his wife is not?”
“You are a Gryffindor. You are married to a Slytherin. You are in the same situation as Mr. Robert.” explained Severus as if speaking to a very slow person.
Which, of course, he was. Why is Severus talking about "Mr Robert" like a stereotyped funny foreigner character from a sitcom?
“A Slytherin! Is she a marked one?”
“Harry! What difference does that make? It is a family, with little children, on the run. Do you have no heart?” squeaked Dennis.
I saw a study once that said it's impossible to be taken seriously when you're squeaking.
He walked to the fireplace and saw Single’s face in the fire. Single asked for entrance and Harry knew it was useless to try to keep him out.
Why? Harry could pwn Single any day of the week. Given Deserving!Harry's personality, I'm surprised he's not killed him or worse. Even canon!Harry isn't above using the Cruciatus curse with sufficient provocation, and Single has done nothing but provoke all fic.
Single and his men were granted permission and no sooner had they entered the sitting room they took their wands to the floor and Severus was tied down instantly.
Single is apparently not even trying to hide that he's involved with the Lang minions, they of the weirdly specific and totally pointless binding spell that stops them from being hexed by people who've had their magic removed. He's also very busy, because he seems to do absolutely everything Ministry-related in this fic.
“Where is he Potter?” asked a menacing Single.
“You have bounded him to the floor,” answered Harry.
“Not your Marked One, Creevy, the kid with the camera,” said an aggravated Single.
Wrong Creevey brother. And how would Single know him as such anyway?
“He was spotted with Robert Carty the allegedly ex-husband of Slytherin Cristina Sillas.
You can't be an allegedly ex-husband. If the divorce has been finalised then you are, otherwise you aren't. There's no grey area there.
We have evidence that indicate that Mr. Carty was not abandoned by his wife and children as he made us believe. It seems he has been hiding the Slytherin…”
“Exactly when did it become a crime to have been sorted into the house of Slytherin? Because I’ve got to tell you as an Auror we have not gotten any amendments to the Wizarding Laws.”
“Miss Sillas was just wanted for questioning but she opted to become a fugitive by not showing up to her hearing.”
“So what is it Single, questioning or hearing? ‘Cause I think you should look up the difference. And while you are at it you might want to look up the difference between Death Eaters, Marked Ones and Slytherins, since you seem to have them all lumped in as one and the same thing.”
The author can do dramatic sometimes: this exchange actually works.
“Is that filth that lieslays on your floor not a Death Eater?”
For the record, it's "lies".
Harry felt his blood boil. How dare Single insult what was his. Harry’s rage took over his magic and his hair stood up at all different angles, the air crackled and sparked with the force of his anger. That was all it took to make Single and his men flee.
Wusses. Why did Harry have no choice but to admit Single if he overpowers him that easily? We've already established that if they came into open conflict, public opinion would side with Harry because he's, well, Harry. What's he got to lose?
Harry leaned into the flames and called out Ron’s name. Soon Ron and Gaby where back to help Severus and Kreacher. Harry helped Severus up and saw that once again he had hurt his neck.
“Now look what you’ve done. Why couldn’t you stay still? This is how you get hurt. You know I told you I would take care of you. That goes for Kreacher too.”
Ron rolled his eyes. “If you had read the book I gave you for your seventeenth birthday you would know that they like the attention we give then when they are in distress.”
Nice continuity nod.
“Ron, what the bloody hell are you on about?”
“It is called the damsel in distress syndrome.”
Well, that explains Jaiden.
“Let’s not go there,” said Harry, rolling his eyes.
Harry is wise. Words I very rarely use in relation to Deserving.
Severus got up and went to Kreacher’s aid. Ron saw that his elf’s aid was needed and took Gaby next to the cage. Severus grabbed Kreacher and did not let him fall to the ground out of fear that he would be imprisoned again.
I'm not exactly sure what the elves are meant to do to rescue people from the random pointless chains, but they do enough that the spell has a built-in countermeasure.
“Here you go Mathew, here is your mum,” reassured Sly keeping both mother and child in the safety of his arms.
“Mathew?” questioned Severus and Harry.
“It was my father’s name,” said Sly, looking at Millicent and hoping for her approval. “My mum used to say I was the only one capable of making him laugh.” He was feeling the heat on his face. Why had he done that? “I simply thought that… well, Baby isn’t a proper name and a fine kid like him deserves a proper name…” Millicent was simply looking at him and he could not read her. “I know it is very forward of me to name your child. I know I am a fugitive of the law and that is probably the last person that you want naming your child…” Still Millicent was looking up at him without any reaction. “I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
Yes, you should. Three cheers for no longer having to read about Baby the baby.
“Mathew,” said Millicent as if trying it on for size. “I think it is a beautiful name, a dignified name.
And (sincerely) not at all Stuish. Good going. :)
Sly stood up tall and commanded full attention from Millicent. “Do not every mention that foul creature who was capable of hurting his own son and a defenseless woman. I assure you I will get my time with him and he will not be a pretty sight afterwards.”
Go Sly!
Millicent looked up at him. It was what prince charmings did. Could it be possible, could a man like Mark Sly want her and her child?
I'm not convinced about this pluralisation of "Prince Charming" (which should have capitals) or even whether it needs the plural at all (It was what Prince Charming would do. reads better) but more importantly, where's the subtlety? Do you suppose Sly and Millicent are going to hook up, by any chance?
“Yeah, Snape, draw poor Harry a map. He seems to be lost. I have only been here a couple of minutes and I can see what is going on, but Harry has always been on the slow side when it comes to these things,” teased Ron.
Harry missed the anvil.
“For most people, the terms Slytherin, Death Eater and Marked One are one and the same thing and Single takes advantage of that for his own need of vengeance,” explained Rob.
“Need of vengeance? What exactly is his gripe?” questioned Harry.
Rob looked at his wife before answering the question.
“His son was rejected by a Slytherin,” explained Rob.
“THAT IS WHY HE IS BENT OUT OF SHAPE?”
“Harry, his son committed suicide when he was rejected,” explained Dennis.
“So his son couldn’t deal with rejection, why not go after the person who rejected him?”
Rob looked at his wife and then to the floor. Dennis did the same. Harry understood.
“So he has a personal vendetta against your wife,” concluded Harry.
As twists go, this is fine. I'm still not convinced about the contrived coincidence of it just happening to be the same guy that Harry got in to design the nursery, nor about Harry's sudden lapse into Order of the Phoenix ALLCAPS mode, but otherwise. It does explain why Single is on a one-man crusade against the entire Slytherin House.
Harry looked at Dennis. “What have I told you about getting too involved with all this? Your father deserves some peace of mind.”
“Harry I have told you Pops is alright with all this.”
I'm still not convinced about "Pops", nor will I ever be.
“Wait, wait one second,” said Dennis rolling up his sleeve. “Let me look. No… I don’t have a mark therefore I can’t have a Guide, so guess that means no one has the right to tell me what to do,” said Dennis in his most sarcastic voice.
That's not sarcastic. Sarcasm is when you say the opposite of what you mean for rhetorical effect, which is something I would never do.
They all turned when they noticed that Ron was putting Gaby down.
"You spoony bard!"
“Dennis, it’s alright, this is Oliver Wood. You know the famous Quidditch player? He was the captain of my team back in Hogwarts,” said Harry, motioning with his hands for Dennis to put his wand away.
I don't think Dennis needs it explaining who Wood is if he's famous, especially as he was himself in Gryffindor.
Dennis looked at Snape who gave him a silent nod. Dennis then took out a large coin out of his pocket and Wood did the same thing. They brought the two coins together and they disappeared. When both men looked at the contents of their palms they found the coins back in their possession.
Harry felt a small pang in the pit of his stomach. He did not own one of those coins. He was not part of the trusted circle.
Oh, woe is me.
Severus went into the kitchen and brought out the family. The boys recognized Wood instantly.
“Wow, its Wood, Dad,” said the youngest.
You don't need to tell us that they recognised Wood instantly if you show us them recognising him instantly. Really.
“No can do, mi amigo. This time it is too great of a risk. And besides you have managed to piss off Single. He is keeping a close watch on your house for anything that can give him a lever on you,” explained Ron.
As I've pointed out, Single is shit scared of Harry. Why should he be worried?
Harry did not answer to the knock on his bedroom door, but that did not keep Ron from entering. Harry turned to see who had entered then turned back to look out the window.
“How old are you and you’re still crawling up under that window?”
As a call-out to the films, this isn't bad at all.
“Who’s afraid of the boogie monster,” said Harry, not turning from the window.
The scourge of discos everywhere!
“After the war, Draco, Gregory and Crabe spread the news of how you had saved their lives, Draco’s twice and for one split second the Slytherins thought that you would be on the side of truth no matter what color it was wrapped in, but then you entered that room, then you denied him decent clothing and health care and that hope was shattered,” said Ron and waited for Harry.
I think this is a bit too eloquent for Ron.
“And now children and woman fear me.”
“Well, let’s not get too melodramatic here.
Melodrama in this fic? Perish the thought.
“Listen, there are two little frightened kids downstairs and I was thinking that maybe you and I can help them take their minds off of their present situation. You know, show them what we used to do when we were facing peril.”
“You want us to show them how to whine?” said Harry, turning for the first time with a raised eyebrow.
Heh, self-awareness. I like it, and this fic could use a hell of a lot more of it.
“Well, you know we are dads now. We should know how to twist the truth a bit.”
“I don’t know what kind of dad you are but I am never going to lie to my kid.”
Ron looked at him in mock horror. “So… no Santa Claus for little Richard?”
“WHAT! Why not?”
“Well, you know since you do not lie to your kid. And I suppose that would nix the Easter Bunny also.”
Ah, good old lies to children.
“What?” questioned Harry, not understanding where the burst of laughter had come from.
“Kreacher dressed as the Easter Bunny,” more laughter, “I would pay good money for that one,” even more laughter, “you think I can sell that one to Hermione?”
Good luck trying to sell it to Kreacher.
“I have a good wife, Harry. The fact that she has the ability to think for herself doesn’t make her less of a good spouse.”
“But how do you know who is in charge?”
“We have never had the necessity to point that out. Why that is so hard for you to understand is beyond me,” he said looking with pity at his long time friend.
“In a family… in a real family…”
“Like the one you grew up in?”
Harry looked into his friend’s eyes.
“They were a family. They gave Dudley everything a kid could ever want. And my aunt always kept an orderly and clean house. And she made sure Dudley never needed anything…”
Why is Harry using the Dursleys as a role model when we see in canon how much happier he is when he goes to stay at the Burrow with Arthur and Molly, who certainly don't have this patriarchal thing going on? It doesn't begin to make sense, especially after what we see in Chapter 48.
Harry bowed his head. He was so confused. The Dursleys were a family. The only family he had ever seen up close and personal.
Read the books again. He actually thinks, right there in canon, how much better a family the Weasleys were.
“Harry, think of what they did to you.
We've seen nothing yet.
“I don’t need informants to tell me that you treat anyone who knocks on your door with decency. But I do need you to understand that Severus is an adult. He is a very smart and, as much as he would like to deny it, caring person and he deserves to be treated with respect.”
Well, no shit. Of course he's an adult. He was an adult when they were still at school.
Harry brought down his collection of brooms which earned him the children’s approval very quickly. He had them hovering around the sitting room and jumping from one broom to another. Harry had collected all the models that he had ever owned
Which would be two, in canon.
and even some he didn’t.
So... he collected them, but didn't own them. What.
Ron was making sure that the youngest was staying on the Nimbus 2000 when a patronus came running into the room.
Describe this Patronus. You can't just say "a Patronus" - they come in all forms.
“Not unless you want to part with one of those brooms. The ones I was given to transport the family are a disgrace,” he said taking out the miniature brooms from his pocket.
Well, yes. A broom that fits in your pocket isn't very good for riding.
Harry looked in horror. They were older than the comet series.
And that's terrible! (Pre-1929, for the record.)
“You will need two of them. Take these they are the latest and fastest models I have.”
“Harry!” cried Wood and Ron. “You can’t do that.”
Don't give your brooms away! They're far more important than keeping innocent people out of Azkaban!
“Look, we’ve got to get them to safety and if I know you Oliver, you have the latest model. They will need to keep up with you. And plus they will have a better chance if they can out-fly Single’s men,” justified Harry, handing over his two best brooms.
The two little boys were glowing at the idea of riding on the two neatest brooms in the world.
We're not actually told what these brooms are.
The family was ready to go with a huge food basket prepared by Kreacher that Ron had to cast reducto on
Fail.
Continued...
When Harry got home he found Severus waiting for him in the sitting room. The rest had gone to sleep. Severus put down his tea and was going to help Harry with his cape when Harry motioned him to stay put.
“Finish your tea.”
“It is too hot. I can help you while I wait for it to cool.”
[snip]
“You know, if I take a sip, I will know all of your secrets,” said Harry with a suggestive smile.
This is quite cute. OOC, not very well written, still prone to redundant said bookisms:
“You jest,” accused Severus.
... because we wouldn't have known this was an accusation otherwise. It's like saying "Sorry," he apologised which I sincerely wish I was making up as an exaggeration. But no, it's a real example. See for yourself.
Harry was unprepared for the flood of information he was about to receive.
“He giggled and played all afternoon. You should have seen him run with Nicky and Richard. It is as if he has woken from long slumber. Richard is ecstatic that Baby now comes when he calls and he made sure to include him in all of Nicky’s and his games. And Mr. Sly, you should have seen him. He was on all fours playing with them. It was hard to tell who was…”
There's no reason this shouldn't have been put in a logical order. Harry realises his unpreparedness after being subjected to the infodump, because he's not precognitive. Unless he's been getting lessons from Millicent.
“If you had not left in haste you would have enjoyed the events, but for some reason that only you and Merlin know, you left a house full of guests,” said Severus, trying to sound cross and failing miserably with his husband nipping at his earlobe.
For some reason only the author and presumably Merlin know, they were having a huge impromptu party on a weekday morning. Harry probably had to work.
“How will you prevent them from coming to get me?
They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!
They believe me to be…”
... a paedophile, except that subplot seemed to vanish as quickly as it appeared.
“Take off your clothes and get in bed while I freshen up,” said Harry, leaving Severus in the room.
When Severus got into bed to wait for Harry he noticed that his tea appeared, now at the perfect temperature. Severus smiled at his husband’s consideration.
A merciful fade to black.
Harry decided to keep Single on his toes, so he began to make very public appearances. He would arrive in his Gryffindor Quidditch uniform riding the latest and fastest broom on the market to public events like professional quidditch games, grand store openings and to congratulate the running candidate at the public hearings.
The author gets points for remembering the existence of Quidditch. An amazing number of fanfics don't, to the extent that even seeing Quidditch mentioned is a pleasant surprise. I'm not sure how flaunting his existence in Single's face is meant to keep him at bay, but whatever.
He even attended the World Quidditch Tournament, riding Charlie’s old but still intimidating dragon.
I'm sure there's a rule against playing Quidditch on a dragon. Anyway, the last we saw of Charlie's dragon (fnarr) it wasn't intimidating at all.
Severus was the first one to notice the floo stir. Permission was granted
... by whom?
and Dennis came through, followed by Robert, the nursery designer, his wife and two children.
In true Harry Potter fashion, the throwaway character last seen twenty chapters ago turns out to be important to the plot.
Severus, using his years as spy had the good sense to get the family away from the floo, where if someone was to firecall would not be able to spot them. Then he turned to Millicent and Sly.
“Follow,” was his simple command. He led all six of his little snakes to the cellar door
There weren't six Slytherins there, assuming that's what "little snakes" are meant to be. There were three: Millicent, Sly and Robert's wife.
“So are you two going to tell me what is going on?”
Dennis seemed uncomfortable but Snape was obviously not throwing him a lifeline.
"Can I firecall a friend, Chris?"
“Well, you see… um. Well, you know how Robert is a Gryffindor, well…”
“His wife is not,” Severus decided to finally intervene.
“What do you mean, his wife is not?”
“You are a Gryffindor. You are married to a Slytherin. You are in the same situation as Mr. Robert.” explained Severus as if speaking to a very slow person.
Which, of course, he was. Why is Severus talking about "Mr Robert" like a stereotyped funny foreigner character from a sitcom?
“A Slytherin! Is she a marked one?”
“Harry! What difference does that make? It is a family, with little children, on the run. Do you have no heart?” squeaked Dennis.
I saw a study once that said it's impossible to be taken seriously when you're squeaking.
He walked to the fireplace and saw Single’s face in the fire. Single asked for entrance and Harry knew it was useless to try to keep him out.
Why? Harry could pwn Single any day of the week. Given Deserving!Harry's personality, I'm surprised he's not killed him or worse. Even canon!Harry isn't above using the Cruciatus curse with sufficient provocation, and Single has done nothing but provoke all fic.
Single and his men were granted permission and no sooner had they entered the sitting room they took their wands to the floor and Severus was tied down instantly.
Single is apparently not even trying to hide that he's involved with the Lang minions, they of the weirdly specific and totally pointless binding spell that stops them from being hexed by people who've had their magic removed. He's also very busy, because he seems to do absolutely everything Ministry-related in this fic.
“Where is he Potter?” asked a menacing Single.
“You have bounded him to the floor,” answered Harry.
“Not your Marked One, Creevy, the kid with the camera,” said an aggravated Single.
Wrong Creevey brother. And how would Single know him as such anyway?
“He was spotted with Robert Carty the allegedly ex-husband of Slytherin Cristina Sillas.
You can't be an allegedly ex-husband. If the divorce has been finalised then you are, otherwise you aren't. There's no grey area there.
We have evidence that indicate that Mr. Carty was not abandoned by his wife and children as he made us believe. It seems he has been hiding the Slytherin…”
“Exactly when did it become a crime to have been sorted into the house of Slytherin? Because I’ve got to tell you as an Auror we have not gotten any amendments to the Wizarding Laws.”
“Miss Sillas was just wanted for questioning but she opted to become a fugitive by not showing up to her hearing.”
“So what is it Single, questioning or hearing? ‘Cause I think you should look up the difference. And while you are at it you might want to look up the difference between Death Eaters, Marked Ones and Slytherins, since you seem to have them all lumped in as one and the same thing.”
The author can do dramatic sometimes: this exchange actually works.
“Is that filth that lieslays on your floor not a Death Eater?”
For the record, it's "lies".
Harry felt his blood boil. How dare Single insult what was his. Harry’s rage took over his magic and his hair stood up at all different angles, the air crackled and sparked with the force of his anger. That was all it took to make Single and his men flee.
Wusses. Why did Harry have no choice but to admit Single if he overpowers him that easily? We've already established that if they came into open conflict, public opinion would side with Harry because he's, well, Harry. What's he got to lose?
Harry leaned into the flames and called out Ron’s name. Soon Ron and Gaby where back to help Severus and Kreacher. Harry helped Severus up and saw that once again he had hurt his neck.
“Now look what you’ve done. Why couldn’t you stay still? This is how you get hurt. You know I told you I would take care of you. That goes for Kreacher too.”
Ron rolled his eyes. “If you had read the book I gave you for your seventeenth birthday you would know that they like the attention we give then when they are in distress.”
Nice continuity nod.
“Ron, what the bloody hell are you on about?”
“It is called the damsel in distress syndrome.”
Well, that explains Jaiden.
“Let’s not go there,” said Harry, rolling his eyes.
Harry is wise. Words I very rarely use in relation to Deserving.
Severus got up and went to Kreacher’s aid. Ron saw that his elf’s aid was needed and took Gaby next to the cage. Severus grabbed Kreacher and did not let him fall to the ground out of fear that he would be imprisoned again.
I'm not exactly sure what the elves are meant to do to rescue people from the random pointless chains, but they do enough that the spell has a built-in countermeasure.
“Here you go Mathew, here is your mum,” reassured Sly keeping both mother and child in the safety of his arms.
“Mathew?” questioned Severus and Harry.
“It was my father’s name,” said Sly, looking at Millicent and hoping for her approval. “My mum used to say I was the only one capable of making him laugh.” He was feeling the heat on his face. Why had he done that? “I simply thought that… well, Baby isn’t a proper name and a fine kid like him deserves a proper name…” Millicent was simply looking at him and he could not read her. “I know it is very forward of me to name your child. I know I am a fugitive of the law and that is probably the last person that you want naming your child…” Still Millicent was looking up at him without any reaction. “I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
Yes, you should. Three cheers for no longer having to read about Baby the baby.
“Mathew,” said Millicent as if trying it on for size. “I think it is a beautiful name, a dignified name.
And (sincerely) not at all Stuish. Good going. :)
Sly stood up tall and commanded full attention from Millicent. “Do not every mention that foul creature who was capable of hurting his own son and a defenseless woman. I assure you I will get my time with him and he will not be a pretty sight afterwards.”
Go Sly!
Millicent looked up at him. It was what prince charmings did. Could it be possible, could a man like Mark Sly want her and her child?
I'm not convinced about this pluralisation of "Prince Charming" (which should have capitals) or even whether it needs the plural at all (It was what Prince Charming would do. reads better) but more importantly, where's the subtlety? Do you suppose Sly and Millicent are going to hook up, by any chance?
“Yeah, Snape, draw poor Harry a map. He seems to be lost. I have only been here a couple of minutes and I can see what is going on, but Harry has always been on the slow side when it comes to these things,” teased Ron.
Harry missed the anvil.
“For most people, the terms Slytherin, Death Eater and Marked One are one and the same thing and Single takes advantage of that for his own need of vengeance,” explained Rob.
“Need of vengeance? What exactly is his gripe?” questioned Harry.
Rob looked at his wife before answering the question.
“His son was rejected by a Slytherin,” explained Rob.
“THAT IS WHY HE IS BENT OUT OF SHAPE?”
“Harry, his son committed suicide when he was rejected,” explained Dennis.
“So his son couldn’t deal with rejection, why not go after the person who rejected him?”
Rob looked at his wife and then to the floor. Dennis did the same. Harry understood.
“So he has a personal vendetta against your wife,” concluded Harry.
As twists go, this is fine. I'm still not convinced about the contrived coincidence of it just happening to be the same guy that Harry got in to design the nursery, nor about Harry's sudden lapse into Order of the Phoenix ALLCAPS mode, but otherwise. It does explain why Single is on a one-man crusade against the entire Slytherin House.
Harry looked at Dennis. “What have I told you about getting too involved with all this? Your father deserves some peace of mind.”
“Harry I have told you Pops is alright with all this.”
I'm still not convinced about "Pops", nor will I ever be.
“Wait, wait one second,” said Dennis rolling up his sleeve. “Let me look. No… I don’t have a mark therefore I can’t have a Guide, so guess that means no one has the right to tell me what to do,” said Dennis in his most sarcastic voice.
That's not sarcastic. Sarcasm is when you say the opposite of what you mean for rhetorical effect, which is something I would never do.
They all turned when they noticed that Ron was putting Gaby down.
"You spoony bard!"
“Dennis, it’s alright, this is Oliver Wood. You know the famous Quidditch player? He was the captain of my team back in Hogwarts,” said Harry, motioning with his hands for Dennis to put his wand away.
I don't think Dennis needs it explaining who Wood is if he's famous, especially as he was himself in Gryffindor.
Dennis looked at Snape who gave him a silent nod. Dennis then took out a large coin out of his pocket and Wood did the same thing. They brought the two coins together and they disappeared. When both men looked at the contents of their palms they found the coins back in their possession.
Harry felt a small pang in the pit of his stomach. He did not own one of those coins. He was not part of the trusted circle.
Oh, woe is me.
Severus went into the kitchen and brought out the family. The boys recognized Wood instantly.
“Wow, its Wood, Dad,” said the youngest.
You don't need to tell us that they recognised Wood instantly if you show us them recognising him instantly. Really.
“No can do, mi amigo. This time it is too great of a risk. And besides you have managed to piss off Single. He is keeping a close watch on your house for anything that can give him a lever on you,” explained Ron.
As I've pointed out, Single is shit scared of Harry. Why should he be worried?
Harry did not answer to the knock on his bedroom door, but that did not keep Ron from entering. Harry turned to see who had entered then turned back to look out the window.
“How old are you and you’re still crawling up under that window?”
As a call-out to the films, this isn't bad at all.
“Who’s afraid of the boogie monster,” said Harry, not turning from the window.
The scourge of discos everywhere!
“After the war, Draco, Gregory and Crabe spread the news of how you had saved their lives, Draco’s twice and for one split second the Slytherins thought that you would be on the side of truth no matter what color it was wrapped in, but then you entered that room, then you denied him decent clothing and health care and that hope was shattered,” said Ron and waited for Harry.
I think this is a bit too eloquent for Ron.
“And now children and woman fear me.”
“Well, let’s not get too melodramatic here.
Melodrama in this fic? Perish the thought.
“Listen, there are two little frightened kids downstairs and I was thinking that maybe you and I can help them take their minds off of their present situation. You know, show them what we used to do when we were facing peril.”
“You want us to show them how to whine?” said Harry, turning for the first time with a raised eyebrow.
Heh, self-awareness. I like it, and this fic could use a hell of a lot more of it.
“Well, you know we are dads now. We should know how to twist the truth a bit.”
“I don’t know what kind of dad you are but I am never going to lie to my kid.”
Ron looked at him in mock horror. “So… no Santa Claus for little Richard?”
“WHAT! Why not?”
“Well, you know since you do not lie to your kid. And I suppose that would nix the Easter Bunny also.”
Ah, good old lies to children.
“What?” questioned Harry, not understanding where the burst of laughter had come from.
“Kreacher dressed as the Easter Bunny,” more laughter, “I would pay good money for that one,” even more laughter, “you think I can sell that one to Hermione?”
Good luck trying to sell it to Kreacher.
“I have a good wife, Harry. The fact that she has the ability to think for herself doesn’t make her less of a good spouse.”
“But how do you know who is in charge?”
“We have never had the necessity to point that out. Why that is so hard for you to understand is beyond me,” he said looking with pity at his long time friend.
“In a family… in a real family…”
“Like the one you grew up in?”
Harry looked into his friend’s eyes.
“They were a family. They gave Dudley everything a kid could ever want. And my aunt always kept an orderly and clean house. And she made sure Dudley never needed anything…”
Why is Harry using the Dursleys as a role model when we see in canon how much happier he is when he goes to stay at the Burrow with Arthur and Molly, who certainly don't have this patriarchal thing going on? It doesn't begin to make sense, especially after what we see in Chapter 48.
Harry bowed his head. He was so confused. The Dursleys were a family. The only family he had ever seen up close and personal.
Read the books again. He actually thinks, right there in canon, how much better a family the Weasleys were.
“Harry, think of what they did to you.
We've seen nothing yet.
“I don’t need informants to tell me that you treat anyone who knocks on your door with decency. But I do need you to understand that Severus is an adult. He is a very smart and, as much as he would like to deny it, caring person and he deserves to be treated with respect.”
Well, no shit. Of course he's an adult. He was an adult when they were still at school.
Harry brought down his collection of brooms which earned him the children’s approval very quickly. He had them hovering around the sitting room and jumping from one broom to another. Harry had collected all the models that he had ever owned
Which would be two, in canon.
and even some he didn’t.
So... he collected them, but didn't own them. What.
Ron was making sure that the youngest was staying on the Nimbus 2000 when a patronus came running into the room.
Describe this Patronus. You can't just say "a Patronus" - they come in all forms.
“Not unless you want to part with one of those brooms. The ones I was given to transport the family are a disgrace,” he said taking out the miniature brooms from his pocket.
Well, yes. A broom that fits in your pocket isn't very good for riding.
Harry looked in horror. They were older than the comet series.
And that's terrible! (Pre-1929, for the record.)
“You will need two of them. Take these they are the latest and fastest models I have.”
“Harry!” cried Wood and Ron. “You can’t do that.”
Don't give your brooms away! They're far more important than keeping innocent people out of Azkaban!
“Look, we’ve got to get them to safety and if I know you Oliver, you have the latest model. They will need to keep up with you. And plus they will have a better chance if they can out-fly Single’s men,” justified Harry, handing over his two best brooms.
The two little boys were glowing at the idea of riding on the two neatest brooms in the world.
We're not actually told what these brooms are.
The family was ready to go with a huge food basket prepared by Kreacher that Ron had to cast reducto on
Fail.
Continued...