The Last War Chapter 3
In Chapter 2, Hermione killed Ron with magic. Presumably because Draco still had the Pocketknife of Vashna. Now it's Ginny's turn for a character (this time not literal) assassination.
Stout, portly Ginny Weasley
LOL FAT PPL R TEH EV0LZ AMIRITE?
Harry, who had only just entered from a long day of counteracting curses and chasing down a particularly nasty Neo-Death Eater,
Which would have made a much better story than we've got here.
I still don't see why you had to dismiss that house-elf of yours.
Nor do I. I can't see Harry turning Kreacher loose.
Harry finally took his chance to speak in this rare moment of silence from Ginny. "I don't understand why we have to go to this party. I thought you hated the Malfoys."
"Of course I do! But they are the most fashionable and well-to-do family in the Wizarding World, and it would be simply uncouth not to go.
Why is Ginny such a snob all of a sudden? Anyway, however much they've reformed, the Malfoys are not going to be fashionable high society so soon after the war with their former allegiance still fresh in everyone's minds.
Besides," she added with a wicked grin, "Malfoy's son is only a few years older than Lily, and I think they get along perfectly…"
And I bet there's a marriage law fic somewhere pairing them off.
Anyway, what follows is an enormous rambling litany about how much she's let herself go. She's fat and ugly because she's an evil person, or maybe an evil person because she's fat and ugly, and could the author be any more misogynistic?
Now, the results finally showed. Ginny, in her yellow dress, was attempting to come of as a sex goddess, a red-haired bombshell, a smoldering sexpot right out of the dirty magazines his roommates had kept hidden back at Hogwarts. Instead, she came off as too much sausage stuffed into too little casing.
Lovely.
"There isn't anyone else, Ginny. Just me telling you I want a divorce. Is that really so hard to believe?"
"It's Hermione, isn't it?" Her voice turned into a snarl. "It's that little Mudblood tramp, isn't it?"
Harry felt the blood rush to his face. He was already used to Ginny's pureblood prejudice - her supposed commitment to equal rights during the days of Dumbledore's Army had been nothing more than mere posturing, all in the hopes of capturing his attention
And had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she was raised by Arthur Weasley. Though if the story goes on I'm sure we'll discover that Arthur's love of all things Muggle was an act put on for reasons unknown.
"I did not have any feelings for her when I married her and I certainly don't now!" Harry shouted back, though he realized more and more what a blatant lie this was.
Especially with the Freudian slip, which neither he nor Ginny noticed because it was clearly a mistake by the author.
Hermione never would have gone to a party at the Malfoys, no matter how rich or influential they were.
And again, they might be rich but they're not going to be influential with everyone looking askance at their past.
Hermione never would have worn such a downright whorish dress to any kind of party. And Hermione would never have turned into the selfish, shrieking, harridan that now stood before him.
Because Hermione is the perfect Mary Sue. She'd never, for instance, kill someone. I like Hermione - she's one of my favourite characters, which is why her becoming a cringing damsel in Chapter 1 infuriated me so much - but even in the weird world of this fic she's no saint.
"Bullshit!" Ginny's voice now reached earsplitting levels. "You've always wanted what Ron had, you always had to be famous, always the big hero!"
Uh, no. Have you even read the Harry Potter books? Harry wants nothing more than a normal life, and a key part of his character is that he does what he does out of a sense of duty rather than any desire for fame or glory. Even a totally derailed evil!Ginny knows better than this.
Harry could only focus on the smug smirking face of Ron on his wedding day, while Hermione stood beside him with a frozen grin on her face. He should have stood up there, should have shouted his objection like the hero of some romantic Muggle movie, and carried her out of the church and away from them all.
And Lady of Pale Emerald Fires is probably working on that fic right now.
clear as day in his mind's eye, he could see Ron, feeling blow after blow on his wretched body as Harry sent curse after curse at him
DRAMATIC IRONY LOL
(there would be no ridiculous dealing of Experillamus)
"Experillamus"? Is he drunk?
The slap fell hard against her check, sending her reeling back. She stopped her shrieking, rubbing her cheek in mute disbelief.
It's okay when Harry does it.
"I'll take the children," she hissed. "I'll sue for full custody of the children and I'll damn well make sure you never see them again."
No you won't, because the wizarding world is misogynistic in LOPEFland.
Harry laughed bitterly. Of course she would use the children as a weapon against him. It wasn't like she saw them as actual beings.
Of course she didn't. Can't be having our villains showing any kind of humanity, after all. That would introduce (horror of horrors!) subtlety into the narrative, and that would just be wrong.
"Why should you care about them? They're not even yours!" Ginny drew herself up, triumphant at finally playing the ace up her sleeve.
Because she's not been cast in a bad enough light yet.
Continued...
Stout, portly Ginny Weasley
LOL FAT PPL R TEH EV0LZ AMIRITE?
Harry, who had only just entered from a long day of counteracting curses and chasing down a particularly nasty Neo-Death Eater,
Which would have made a much better story than we've got here.
I still don't see why you had to dismiss that house-elf of yours.
Nor do I. I can't see Harry turning Kreacher loose.
Harry finally took his chance to speak in this rare moment of silence from Ginny. "I don't understand why we have to go to this party. I thought you hated the Malfoys."
"Of course I do! But they are the most fashionable and well-to-do family in the Wizarding World, and it would be simply uncouth not to go.
Why is Ginny such a snob all of a sudden? Anyway, however much they've reformed, the Malfoys are not going to be fashionable high society so soon after the war with their former allegiance still fresh in everyone's minds.
Besides," she added with a wicked grin, "Malfoy's son is only a few years older than Lily, and I think they get along perfectly…"
And I bet there's a marriage law fic somewhere pairing them off.
Anyway, what follows is an enormous rambling litany about how much she's let herself go. She's fat and ugly because she's an evil person, or maybe an evil person because she's fat and ugly, and could the author be any more misogynistic?
Now, the results finally showed. Ginny, in her yellow dress, was attempting to come of as a sex goddess, a red-haired bombshell, a smoldering sexpot right out of the dirty magazines his roommates had kept hidden back at Hogwarts. Instead, she came off as too much sausage stuffed into too little casing.
Lovely.
"There isn't anyone else, Ginny. Just me telling you I want a divorce. Is that really so hard to believe?"
"It's Hermione, isn't it?" Her voice turned into a snarl. "It's that little Mudblood tramp, isn't it?"
Harry felt the blood rush to his face. He was already used to Ginny's pureblood prejudice - her supposed commitment to equal rights during the days of Dumbledore's Army had been nothing more than mere posturing, all in the hopes of capturing his attention
And had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that she was raised by Arthur Weasley. Though if the story goes on I'm sure we'll discover that Arthur's love of all things Muggle was an act put on for reasons unknown.
"I did not have any feelings for her when I married her and I certainly don't now!" Harry shouted back, though he realized more and more what a blatant lie this was.
Especially with the Freudian slip, which neither he nor Ginny noticed because it was clearly a mistake by the author.
Hermione never would have gone to a party at the Malfoys, no matter how rich or influential they were.
And again, they might be rich but they're not going to be influential with everyone looking askance at their past.
Hermione never would have worn such a downright whorish dress to any kind of party. And Hermione would never have turned into the selfish, shrieking, harridan that now stood before him.
Because Hermione is the perfect Mary Sue. She'd never, for instance, kill someone. I like Hermione - she's one of my favourite characters, which is why her becoming a cringing damsel in Chapter 1 infuriated me so much - but even in the weird world of this fic she's no saint.
"Bullshit!" Ginny's voice now reached earsplitting levels. "You've always wanted what Ron had, you always had to be famous, always the big hero!"
Uh, no. Have you even read the Harry Potter books? Harry wants nothing more than a normal life, and a key part of his character is that he does what he does out of a sense of duty rather than any desire for fame or glory. Even a totally derailed evil!Ginny knows better than this.
Harry could only focus on the smug smirking face of Ron on his wedding day, while Hermione stood beside him with a frozen grin on her face. He should have stood up there, should have shouted his objection like the hero of some romantic Muggle movie, and carried her out of the church and away from them all.
And Lady of Pale Emerald Fires is probably working on that fic right now.
clear as day in his mind's eye, he could see Ron, feeling blow after blow on his wretched body as Harry sent curse after curse at him
DRAMATIC IRONY LOL
(there would be no ridiculous dealing of Experillamus)
"Experillamus"? Is he drunk?
The slap fell hard against her check, sending her reeling back. She stopped her shrieking, rubbing her cheek in mute disbelief.
It's okay when Harry does it.
"I'll take the children," she hissed. "I'll sue for full custody of the children and I'll damn well make sure you never see them again."
No you won't, because the wizarding world is misogynistic in LOPEFland.
Harry laughed bitterly. Of course she would use the children as a weapon against him. It wasn't like she saw them as actual beings.
Of course she didn't. Can't be having our villains showing any kind of humanity, after all. That would introduce (horror of horrors!) subtlety into the narrative, and that would just be wrong.
"Why should you care about them? They're not even yours!" Ginny drew herself up, triumphant at finally playing the ace up her sleeve.
Because she's not been cast in a bad enough light yet.
Continued...