The Fourty-Eight Hour Party, Part One.
Wow, motherfuckers.
WOW, motherfuckers!
Oh-my-fricken-God. The events of the past few days were just, for lack of better terms, SPONTANEOUS and EXTRAVAGANT. I can honestly say that even I didn't believe I was going to have as much fun as I did...and around my family and my new family (The Woldts) and without my dearest friends. That's not to say that when I'm with my friends I don't get hella trashed and crash the parties and do some of the craziest and hilarious things. Oh man, if you know me personally, you know how we do. *Mount Sims' How We Do blasts in my head* But, I apologize...because I have to say that last night was just phenominal.
I've decided that these accounts of interest and entertainment will be dispersed into parts. By and by, you'll learn the identification of each festivity.
I know that seems rather stingy of me, but DAMN people, I'm still recovering. And forgive me if I fuck up some of the details but I'm just pouring anything out of my rusted memory box to the best of my knowledge.
So, here I go...
Friday, June 18th.
This whole wild ride of wedding festivities begins literally at the First Presbyterian Church downtown. There, we established our places in the wedding. Of course, I was an usher so I didn't need to be instructed on much...just that I would be asking the guests "Bride or Groom?" for sides of the chapel pews and that I would escort the "Grandmas" down to the first pew in front of the altar. Everyone else was either a bride's maid/matron, or a groomsmen. I sat by my mother, listening to the beautiful sounds of the organ (might I add that my sister and Kenny chose very tolerable music) and laughing from time to time at my sister's expression, the mistakes that my dorky little sister Chelsea would make, and the stupidity of the reverend. I mean, c'mon...I don't believe that I've ever met someone who felt so involved in someone's personal life...and his humor was just absolutely horrendous. So, I just pulled out a "Friendship Bulletin" and begin writing obscenities and drawing inappropriate art to leave my mark...I pondered whether or not to slip it in the Guest Box or not...but the reverend kept glancing at me so I jammed the note into my back pocket, with full intention of putting it into the Guest Box later. (oops, I didn't end up putting it into the Guest Box after all.)I layed in the wooden pew, waiting patiently for the rehearsal to end...I was not only hungry but I was getting rather bored and disgusted of the church. I believe that my blasphemy was blatently obvious. The reverend and the rest of the family eyed me down as if I were Satan himself...in full physique. Yeah, right. Hah.
The rehearsal ended quicker then I had expected, but I was in dying need of a cigarette and the $5 from being reimbursed for the work permit I had to get for Burger King was burning a fucking crater in my pocket. Everytime I have money, I'm such a retail whore. As long as it's good for me, then it's good for the employee. We arrived at Hilary and Kenny's house quicker than I could snap my fingers. Something was so comforting about their house that night..probably because I knew I was going to party a little bit with my soon-to-be brother-in-law...but we had a very good dinner...typical Wisconsinite cook-out: bratwurst, hamburgers, olives, potato salad, pickles, chips 'n dip, sodas, and beer. A fucking keg of Miller Lite was just sitting downstairs, waiting to be violated by the likes of this alck. But that didn't happen until after dinner, a little later at night...when alot of Kenny's family was absent from the premises. See, Kenny's family can be a little cool but his mother is such a two-faced cunt. Seriously. No wonder they do not stay in contact too long. Well, I asked my mother to run me to the Party Mart to get my a pack of cigarettes but she was disapproving so I called Robert...and said the magic word, and pushed the magic buttons and I was granted a free pack of cigarettes...meaning that I STILL had this $5 in my pocket. Well, at least my hunger for nicotine was satisfied.
Well, everyone began the beer games. It was basically me, mother, Robert, Zach, Hilary, Kenny, Dawn, George and Ben in the downstairs bar in Hilary's basement...and Hilary wanted everyone to have a pre-pre-wedding shot. Even though they were about to have shots, of course, I had to ask mother if i could. And, of course, she let me. Lol. But the fucked up thing was everyone was totally underestimating me...believing that if I took one shot, I'd charf. Lol. Omg. They don't know me. Completely. I could probably outdrink them. Drinking is such an easy thing for me. I mean, when you first begin to drink, you have to gradually build your tolerance level to a whatever you desire. Well, one shot of Apple Pucker wasn't gonna do much to me...in fact, nothing. It was when I begin filling the good'ole red plastic cups that I even felt a buzz. And that was probably after about four cups of beer. In turn, I have no idea how many cups of beer I actually had, but I do know that it wasn't like five. Lol. So, Zach was drinking a Rasberry Daquiri, mother was drinking a Pineapple-Orange Bahama Mama (mind you, these are wine coolers), and everyone except me had a shot of Baja Rose. I soon found that this was strawberry-flavored mixed delicately with tequila. I guess they thought that I couldn't handle it. Lol. Dream on, motherheffers.
Afterwards, everyone went up to have a smoke while Zach and I were downstairs talking and listening to Nelly Furtado. Gay brother bonding, you gotta love it. It's weird because it's like Zach is uncomfortable around me when I'm drinking and he feels like he doesn't want to do it around me...but around everyone else it's okay. Maybe because I'm underage...I think he feels like a contributor when we're drinking together. Hmph. He's just gotta deal. Straight up. Lol. (It's funny 'cause we're both gay and I just said that...hhhhardy har har.) Anyways, we talked for a little bit...about music, interests, his dancing career in NYC...the obscurity and uniqueness of the music that his dance instructors played while conjuring routines. But, we both got a little antsy...and not because we're bored...but it's just so difficult to be around him sometimes...for personal reasons.
Well, he left and went upstairs to talk to people while I sat there refilling my cup of beer and listening to Madonna and Pat Benatar. Just chillin'. Alone...until I heard Taylor's obnoxious footsteps bellow down the stairwell. To flee the scene, I quickly gulped my last bit of beer left, refilled, and left promptly. Ugh, what an annoying little Butterball fuck. I went upstairs to see what the hoo-hah was about...just a crowd of beer-tipsyied fuckers. But, hey, I was happy 'cause I was drinking with them...I didn't feel left out or sober...and I could be as stupid and insane as I wanted to be, even though I wasn't in the long run. I stayed ultimately normal throughout the night, until I began getting the spins. Those things suck. But that's to come later on that night.
Tyler, my beloved nephew, wanted me to step outside with him and attempt to play football while smoking a cigarette...and since I knew that it meant much to him for me to participate, I played...to the best of my ability. I threw the ball pretty shitty and I wasn't the only one...George, Kenny's brother and best man, openly admitted that he wasn't sober enough to concentrate...and so he didn't. He drifted off into the garage to extinguish his cigarette. After that was all over, I went downstairs to the bar, refilled my cup again...gulped what I could, while pouring out the foam, and refilled it again with clean beer and arrived back upstairs. In the living room, The Rugrats Movie was the highlight but only for the empty couches and the recliner. The only people that were up there were Zach and myself. Me and Zach chatted a little bit more, until he finally remembered that he was supposed to go to The West in Green Bay with the skanky, uncivilized OGBs. I mean, seriously, do you really think you're that fucking important and wanted to where you need to name yourself. How retarded you are. He prompted me to give Tong a ring on the cellular phone so that he could be quickly informed of the details about when, where, and how he was to be there with them. I guess he felt obligated by his stay to go because all he had really been doing this entire week was sitting around...and eating...and he's like the skinniest, toothpick-ass drawf boi. Lol. Cracks me up thinking about it. Well, I got the information from Tong and informed Zach I was a little hesitant to give him the correct info. I didn't think my brother needed to be a gay boi's marvelling tonight.
But, I didn't stay too insincere because Zach ended up leaving with them that night from the banquet hall at the Ramada Inn after decorating for the reception and dinner. Which brings me to the dispersal of the girls...this is when I began to think that we, the boys, were going to decorate the cars...but I remember that we couldn't do much anyways because my mother secret was to surprise them with limosine service at the church for the wedding, bar-hopping, etc. Well, after they left, we just began to drink more. Beer after beer after beer. You could see plainly that our eyes were blood-shot. It was to be nothing unusual. :-P George later left, as did Robert and the night began to wither. I decided that even though I had full ability to drink all night, I wasn't going to do so because I knew that I didn't want a mega-hangover at the wedding. Kenny passed out earlier then I expected he would...and it was just kinda me and the boys up watching television for awhile. Before everyone began leaving though, I asked Robert to run me to the house to get some toiletries and clothing for showering and the wedding date.
I had my last cup of beer at the house, in the living room...sitting with the boys. Boaty, Hilary's pooch, came to cuddle up by me...I rubbed her belly and scratched soothingly behind her ears until I felt my eyes begin to lock together...and fell asleep, sprawled out on the living room floor, next to Boaty. But she tired of me, and left to curl up with Kenny in her spot on their bed...
Sheeeit, talk about a long description of the evening...but trust it, there is much more excitement and comedy to remain...to keep stuck on the mystery. :-P This might have seemed boring to talk about, but there is alot more events and craziness to follow.
Other musical selections while updating the journal: One Headlight / Wallflowers
Half of You / Cat Power
Things / Nancy Sinatra & Dean Martin
Bang, Bang / Nancy Sinatra
Happy New Year / Camera Obscura.
Eighties Fan / Camera Obscura.
Houseboat / Camera Obscura.
WOW, motherfuckers!
Oh-my-fricken-God. The events of the past few days were just, for lack of better terms, SPONTANEOUS and EXTRAVAGANT. I can honestly say that even I didn't believe I was going to have as much fun as I did...and around my family and my new family (The Woldts) and without my dearest friends. That's not to say that when I'm with my friends I don't get hella trashed and crash the parties and do some of the craziest and hilarious things. Oh man, if you know me personally, you know how we do. *Mount Sims' How We Do blasts in my head* But, I apologize...because I have to say that last night was just phenominal.
I've decided that these accounts of interest and entertainment will be dispersed into parts. By and by, you'll learn the identification of each festivity.
I know that seems rather stingy of me, but DAMN people, I'm still recovering. And forgive me if I fuck up some of the details but I'm just pouring anything out of my rusted memory box to the best of my knowledge.
So, here I go...
Friday, June 18th.
This whole wild ride of wedding festivities begins literally at the First Presbyterian Church downtown. There, we established our places in the wedding. Of course, I was an usher so I didn't need to be instructed on much...just that I would be asking the guests "Bride or Groom?" for sides of the chapel pews and that I would escort the "Grandmas" down to the first pew in front of the altar. Everyone else was either a bride's maid/matron, or a groomsmen. I sat by my mother, listening to the beautiful sounds of the organ (might I add that my sister and Kenny chose very tolerable music) and laughing from time to time at my sister's expression, the mistakes that my dorky little sister Chelsea would make, and the stupidity of the reverend. I mean, c'mon...I don't believe that I've ever met someone who felt so involved in someone's personal life...and his humor was just absolutely horrendous. So, I just pulled out a "Friendship Bulletin" and begin writing obscenities and drawing inappropriate art to leave my mark...I pondered whether or not to slip it in the Guest Box or not...but the reverend kept glancing at me so I jammed the note into my back pocket, with full intention of putting it into the Guest Box later. (oops, I didn't end up putting it into the Guest Box after all.)I layed in the wooden pew, waiting patiently for the rehearsal to end...I was not only hungry but I was getting rather bored and disgusted of the church. I believe that my blasphemy was blatently obvious. The reverend and the rest of the family eyed me down as if I were Satan himself...in full physique. Yeah, right. Hah.
The rehearsal ended quicker then I had expected, but I was in dying need of a cigarette and the $5 from being reimbursed for the work permit I had to get for Burger King was burning a fucking crater in my pocket. Everytime I have money, I'm such a retail whore. As long as it's good for me, then it's good for the employee. We arrived at Hilary and Kenny's house quicker than I could snap my fingers. Something was so comforting about their house that night..probably because I knew I was going to party a little bit with my soon-to-be brother-in-law...but we had a very good dinner...typical Wisconsinite cook-out: bratwurst, hamburgers, olives, potato salad, pickles, chips 'n dip, sodas, and beer. A fucking keg of Miller Lite was just sitting downstairs, waiting to be violated by the likes of this alck. But that didn't happen until after dinner, a little later at night...when alot of Kenny's family was absent from the premises. See, Kenny's family can be a little cool but his mother is such a two-faced cunt. Seriously. No wonder they do not stay in contact too long. Well, I asked my mother to run me to the Party Mart to get my a pack of cigarettes but she was disapproving so I called Robert...and said the magic word, and pushed the magic buttons and I was granted a free pack of cigarettes...meaning that I STILL had this $5 in my pocket. Well, at least my hunger for nicotine was satisfied.
Well, everyone began the beer games. It was basically me, mother, Robert, Zach, Hilary, Kenny, Dawn, George and Ben in the downstairs bar in Hilary's basement...and Hilary wanted everyone to have a pre-pre-wedding shot. Even though they were about to have shots, of course, I had to ask mother if i could. And, of course, she let me. Lol. But the fucked up thing was everyone was totally underestimating me...believing that if I took one shot, I'd charf. Lol. Omg. They don't know me. Completely. I could probably outdrink them. Drinking is such an easy thing for me. I mean, when you first begin to drink, you have to gradually build your tolerance level to a whatever you desire. Well, one shot of Apple Pucker wasn't gonna do much to me...in fact, nothing. It was when I begin filling the good'ole red plastic cups that I even felt a buzz. And that was probably after about four cups of beer. In turn, I have no idea how many cups of beer I actually had, but I do know that it wasn't like five. Lol. So, Zach was drinking a Rasberry Daquiri, mother was drinking a Pineapple-Orange Bahama Mama (mind you, these are wine coolers), and everyone except me had a shot of Baja Rose. I soon found that this was strawberry-flavored mixed delicately with tequila. I guess they thought that I couldn't handle it. Lol. Dream on, motherheffers.
Afterwards, everyone went up to have a smoke while Zach and I were downstairs talking and listening to Nelly Furtado. Gay brother bonding, you gotta love it. It's weird because it's like Zach is uncomfortable around me when I'm drinking and he feels like he doesn't want to do it around me...but around everyone else it's okay. Maybe because I'm underage...I think he feels like a contributor when we're drinking together. Hmph. He's just gotta deal. Straight up. Lol. (It's funny 'cause we're both gay and I just said that...hhhhardy har har.) Anyways, we talked for a little bit...about music, interests, his dancing career in NYC...the obscurity and uniqueness of the music that his dance instructors played while conjuring routines. But, we both got a little antsy...and not because we're bored...but it's just so difficult to be around him sometimes...for personal reasons.
Well, he left and went upstairs to talk to people while I sat there refilling my cup of beer and listening to Madonna and Pat Benatar. Just chillin'. Alone...until I heard Taylor's obnoxious footsteps bellow down the stairwell. To flee the scene, I quickly gulped my last bit of beer left, refilled, and left promptly. Ugh, what an annoying little Butterball fuck. I went upstairs to see what the hoo-hah was about...just a crowd of beer-tipsyied fuckers. But, hey, I was happy 'cause I was drinking with them...I didn't feel left out or sober...and I could be as stupid and insane as I wanted to be, even though I wasn't in the long run. I stayed ultimately normal throughout the night, until I began getting the spins. Those things suck. But that's to come later on that night.
Tyler, my beloved nephew, wanted me to step outside with him and attempt to play football while smoking a cigarette...and since I knew that it meant much to him for me to participate, I played...to the best of my ability. I threw the ball pretty shitty and I wasn't the only one...George, Kenny's brother and best man, openly admitted that he wasn't sober enough to concentrate...and so he didn't. He drifted off into the garage to extinguish his cigarette. After that was all over, I went downstairs to the bar, refilled my cup again...gulped what I could, while pouring out the foam, and refilled it again with clean beer and arrived back upstairs. In the living room, The Rugrats Movie was the highlight but only for the empty couches and the recliner. The only people that were up there were Zach and myself. Me and Zach chatted a little bit more, until he finally remembered that he was supposed to go to The West in Green Bay with the skanky, uncivilized OGBs. I mean, seriously, do you really think you're that fucking important and wanted to where you need to name yourself. How retarded you are. He prompted me to give Tong a ring on the cellular phone so that he could be quickly informed of the details about when, where, and how he was to be there with them. I guess he felt obligated by his stay to go because all he had really been doing this entire week was sitting around...and eating...and he's like the skinniest, toothpick-ass drawf boi. Lol. Cracks me up thinking about it. Well, I got the information from Tong and informed Zach I was a little hesitant to give him the correct info. I didn't think my brother needed to be a gay boi's marvelling tonight.
But, I didn't stay too insincere because Zach ended up leaving with them that night from the banquet hall at the Ramada Inn after decorating for the reception and dinner. Which brings me to the dispersal of the girls...this is when I began to think that we, the boys, were going to decorate the cars...but I remember that we couldn't do much anyways because my mother secret was to surprise them with limosine service at the church for the wedding, bar-hopping, etc. Well, after they left, we just began to drink more. Beer after beer after beer. You could see plainly that our eyes were blood-shot. It was to be nothing unusual. :-P George later left, as did Robert and the night began to wither. I decided that even though I had full ability to drink all night, I wasn't going to do so because I knew that I didn't want a mega-hangover at the wedding. Kenny passed out earlier then I expected he would...and it was just kinda me and the boys up watching television for awhile. Before everyone began leaving though, I asked Robert to run me to the house to get some toiletries and clothing for showering and the wedding date.
I had my last cup of beer at the house, in the living room...sitting with the boys. Boaty, Hilary's pooch, came to cuddle up by me...I rubbed her belly and scratched soothingly behind her ears until I felt my eyes begin to lock together...and fell asleep, sprawled out on the living room floor, next to Boaty. But she tired of me, and left to curl up with Kenny in her spot on their bed...
Sheeeit, talk about a long description of the evening...but trust it, there is much more excitement and comedy to remain...to keep stuck on the mystery. :-P This might have seemed boring to talk about, but there is alot more events and craziness to follow.
Other musical selections while updating the journal: One Headlight / Wallflowers
Half of You / Cat Power
Things / Nancy Sinatra & Dean Martin
Bang, Bang / Nancy Sinatra
Happy New Year / Camera Obscura.
Eighties Fan / Camera Obscura.
Houseboat / Camera Obscura.