Thinking out loud
The last month has been hectic. A nightmare in some ways. It's been one of those periods where nothing I do is enough, and it's just left me feeling wrung out. I'm fairly sure that, during this kind of period, I've tried to push myself to do all the things I need to do, but the things I needed to do could never be done reasonably in the time I had left. So, I've gone from being strung out and tired because a lot is happening, to being strung out and tired because I'm strung out and tired. It feels normal for me to be exhausted.
I've had a few days of peace and quiet, and I've been starting to think about the things I gave up that I really shouldn't have, all the things that I've not been doing that existed to keep me sane and healthy, but take up a lot of time and I wouldn't miss for a few days.
Number one seems to be keeping the diary, which I haven't done for a month. I'm noticing that more of my DW posts are filled with what I do in a day or few days, in excruciating detail. That kind of stuff worked best in the diary, because no one needs to know that, and I felt that I'd gotten the balance right between the two. I could put details in the diary to give me a sense of perspective and share the things I wanted to share with the world in a more general way on DW. At the moment, I feel my default is "share everything", which isn't very good.
Number two seems to be Tai Chi. I stopped doing that somewhere in Poland, and things got more and more fraught. I did it for the first time today, and my mind actually started wondering during the practise. This is good, because I'm starting to feel so utterly focused I can't stop my mind any more, and this is why I can't sleep. Not to mention, I'm so utterly stiff that the stretching and relaxing did me a power of good.
I've had a few days of peace and quiet, and I've been starting to think about the things I gave up that I really shouldn't have, all the things that I've not been doing that existed to keep me sane and healthy, but take up a lot of time and I wouldn't miss for a few days.
Number one seems to be keeping the diary, which I haven't done for a month. I'm noticing that more of my DW posts are filled with what I do in a day or few days, in excruciating detail. That kind of stuff worked best in the diary, because no one needs to know that, and I felt that I'd gotten the balance right between the two. I could put details in the diary to give me a sense of perspective and share the things I wanted to share with the world in a more general way on DW. At the moment, I feel my default is "share everything", which isn't very good.
Number two seems to be Tai Chi. I stopped doing that somewhere in Poland, and things got more and more fraught. I did it for the first time today, and my mind actually started wondering during the practise. This is good, because I'm starting to feel so utterly focused I can't stop my mind any more, and this is why I can't sleep. Not to mention, I'm so utterly stiff that the stretching and relaxing did me a power of good.