Life is beginning to look up a bit ( Read more... )

All right, so, the last two posts indicate I'm not having the world's best time of things at the moment. And, well, I've been studiously avoiding the most painful of all the things. So, let's go for it. So, the next bit is not going to be very happy. Please don't read if you're happy dealing with topics of sexual consent violations.

( Trigger warning )

I've had some time to start getting used to my new body beyond the immediate trying to survive. I'm still not really sure how to handle all I've been through and, bizarrely, I seem to be going through a phase where I'm fighting it quite a lot. I'm kinda trying very hard to be male again ( Read more... )

So, what else? I'm guessing another thing that's cropping up is that I'm probably calmer about this than I have a right to be, only I keep thinking I shouldn't be, because everyone else doesn't seem to think I should be and I'm picking that up ( Read more... )

OK, so one of the ways I coped with the whole transition was to be very Zen about it. I use Zen to describe what I think Buddhist teachings mean when they say "there is no X", where X is something that is very definitely happening. Well, in this case, "there is no transition" would be the right one. Another way to say it would be to say that I ( Read more... )

This song currently describes my mood:

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It's not because I think I'm any kind of superhero, that would be silly. It's more about the fact that I'm in a lot of pain at the moment. I can just curl up into a ball and do nothing or I can use it to power me through to something better, even though I'm going to be in tears the whole time. I've been ( Read more... )

It's suddenly just over a week to my surgery date and it's suddenly hitting me. This is going to happen. I am so not ready ( Read more... )

Meh, so I've been feeling a bit down at the moment, as the last post shows, but I'm not really sure everything is doom and gloom just yet ( Read more... )

I went to Brighton yesterday. The person seemed really glad to see me. I was completely emotionally exhausted already after the difficult week previously and I didn't know what to say or do, and so I ended up in tears because she asked me the million dollar question "are you OK?", to which the answer is not even close and because I'd managed to ( Read more... )

I had an interview with the job centre last Tuesday and they asked me about why I quit my job. I've used up every other reason I could, so in the end, having had just one line to talk about it, I wrote down "bad memories of child abuse in school ( Read more... )