this is me again living inside of my head, and this is me thinking the universe conspires against me to give me things i want once i can't have them. i wish i knew where i was. this is just me. just silly phases of insanity.

welcome to domesticity
population:
me and just me
and i'm angry about towels
and stupid shit
i read in magazines
and i miss quiet time
and me time
and things of the past
the woes of being a housewife
without a husband!Drunk poetry is awesome sometimes. I'm finding being Sean's roomate a complicated task sometimes. Who eats chicken in a bathroom? ( Read more... )

I feel a little better now. I have a plan, even if it's not the best one right now. I am giving up so much here, things no one can understand. I need to leave, and everyone knows it. Maybe people will stop seeing me as some junkie whore (which is so ironic I really must laugh at it) and start seeing me as a little something more. I gotta do what I ( Read more... )

Resolution: No more pills for awhile. Last night consisted of not being able to walk or hold objects, throwing up for a half an hour, and then apparently just passing out in the middle of whatever I was doing. I think I've been letting myself get carried away. The hydros I can take or leave. I need to take a lot to feel anything, plus they tend to ( Read more... )

let it bleed out all over the floor
cause he don't want it
and i ain't takin care of it no more
i'll just sit here
pretending to be me
cause someone has toIt's been close to 9 years since I knew what a relationship was like. It's weird, the first year was ok. It was nice to be just Alexis. The next few years were depressing. Then comes bitterness. ( Read more... )

For some reason, I have developed some sort of southern alter ego. I wrote this:

let it bleed out all over the floor 'cause he don't want it and i ain't takin' care of it all by myself...I keep saying y'all and ain't and dropping the g's off of the ends of words. What is wrong with me?! I get weird when the leaves change. I am in a completely ( Read more... )

I was a little bit buzzed now I'm very stoned. I had a horrible, suck-ass day. Seriously, it was craptastic. I got yelled at and called incompetent for something I didn't even do. C'est la vie Je suppose. Ok, it's secret time. The good, the bad, and the ugly ( Read more... )

On Sunday I met a woman buying wooden roses. She told me she was buying them because today was her 63rd wedding anniversary. My immediate response was ( Read more... )

I'm stuck in limbo. I can't be here anymore, but I don't want to go anywhere. I'm so tired of being alone, but I'm scared to death to let anyone else in. I wish I was like everyone else, but I can't even begin to understand their motivations. I fight between sentimentality and hyper-rationality. I wish I wanted to get married, and start a ( Read more... )

I'm sick of all the bullshit people but me through. All this lying and drama is really getting old. I'm not a judgmental person. People can do whatever they want; I'm in no position to judge anyone. But seriously, just blow me off and then lie about it. That's weak. I'm so bored of it. Seriously. I'm tired of trying to feel sorry for people ( Read more... )