First Day of Kindergarten
I'm not sure how, but I managed to keep myself together yesterday...for the most part. The morning at breakfast was rough. J and I were praying before breakfast, and she had asked me to say a special prayer for her. "Dear God, please be with J today and keep your hands of safety around her. Also, Dear God, please be with mommy, that she may be strong...." couldn't finish...tears just poured down. I look at J and she is crying because mommy is crying. So I had to tell a little fib (knowing if I told her the truth she would spend her day worrying about momma). I told her I was crying because I was so happy for her and that I was so proud of her. Which wasn't a total lie, I am happy and proud of her...but I was crying because I felt like I was loosing my baby. I know, I know, she will always be my baby, but now she has stepped out into the world and is making her own way. I can't have my hand in hers all day anymore...and that scares me. Yes, I am a complete control freak. Letting go of that control is hard for me, but I know for her, I have to do it. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier. I did go have lunch with her yesterday. More for my own sanity to know that she was really ok. Today I am doing everything I can to keep really busy so I don't have to think about it. So...I'm going to go clean the car, before I get the keyboard all wet. Below is a pic of her yesterday morning before walking out the door. I love that big girl!!!
