Ficlet: 'Close your eyes, and stay awake'.

[travertineskies]

Title: Close your eyes, and stay awake.
Rating: G
Pairing: F!Hawke/Anders
Word Count: 527
Crossposted to FF.net

Spoilers ahoy.

Comments

[angel90_1]

The only reason my Hawke did is because she was the one that did absolutely everything for her friends (companion quests always came first, haha), even when the entire of Kirkwall could have been destroyed for that (Isabela much? And apparently sebastian) and she was too much in love with him to just let him go (though we all know it is going to end soo tragically....angstfest all around :( Think happy thoughts

[travertineskies]

A kind Hawke. :) Yes, mine was somewhat like that too... I always thought she was a little naive though. Mine let him live, but she let him go. Yep, the doomed romances to end all doomed romances. D: Good god, all I've been playing on my iTunes are sappy love songs after sappy love songs

[angel90_1]

Oops, another essay reply...but healing process! (And Anders approves of healing

[arysani]

Totally agree with your A/N. As the years went on, he lost more and more of himself. It's very Jeykll & Hyde - in the end, Hyde always wins. Hyde is stronger. Vengeance is stronger. There's still a little bit of Anders in there, but in that moment at the end, there is a hopelessness on his face; that's the moment where Jeykll asks to be killed because he knows he can't beat the other half of himself and he's tired of having to watch his own hands do things he would never do. I was a WRECK when I finished the game the first time...I didn't reload, I finished the game, and though that one won't be my perfect PT because I missed SO MANY side missions (mostly because I hadn't clued in to the friend/rival scales and the importance of varying your party often), but it won't change. That Hawke will always have been betrayed by her true love and had to flee her home...again

[travertineskies]

-grabs head- It's so tragic and painful and ouch and I just can't stop thinking about it. It would be so hard to lose your soulmate, anyone you truly care for in such a irreversible way. I think Anders just broke so many people's hearts, and even if you run off with him, if you kill him, if you let him go- there's no getting around it, Anders is a murderer, and someone who used you.

After awhile, I thought my moping and constant wailing of love ballads was being a drag on myself and my family, so I had to have an outlet. Thank you for reading. :) Oh my God, a fic about that... That was brave of you. I could never. D:

[arysani]

I really started to feel it when my Hawke actually said what I was thinking and said "I won't forget you blackmailed me to do this." It was a freefall straight down the mountain after that moment.

Dude, I avoided going into the room where my console was because it still had the lap blanket I had wrapped around my knees and the throw pillow I had laid my head on listening to the credits roll and CRYING. (Fffft. I cried writing it. That's good therapy, just getting it all out. I don't think I posted a link to it here. I almost don't want to link you to it because I don't want you to get weepy again. But if you want, it's here. We should start a support group.)

[travertineskies]

(I'm going to reply this before I finish the story, because you're right, I'm going to cry like a baby all over again).

You know a game is good when that... Punch to your stomach happens. Oh, God.

Oh, that is painful... I don't think a game has ever taken such an emotional toll on me before, not even with Alistair and being crowned and ngh. I think we should DEFINITELY start a support group. I try to make fun of it to lessen the ouch, (i.e. my icon) but in the end... It's just... -throws DAII case at wall-

[blue_scarab]

Lovely fic, thanks for posting it! I'm also in the 'traumatized by Anders in the endgame, had to write to get all those emotions out', and I -still- find myself voraciously reading (and writing) all sorts of Anders-related fic to work through how I reacted. I've written post-game angry!Hawke venting her emotions on Anders, I'm writing vengeful!Sebastian right now, I even somehow got myself to write a happy!Anders moment (since it breaks my heart when he utters that line at the end about being happy for a time), and I still feel like I have more churning around in my insides. I can't recall the last time a game yanked me in so thoroughly.

[travertineskies]

Ahah, thank you for reading it! Yes, I cannot get out of this rut. D: I also wrote a screaming Hawke fic, but it was completely self gratuitous, so I'm too embarrassed to post it. -nods- Ander is just a heartbreaker. I wasn't prepared for this insane obsessive factor, either. Damn you, Bioware!! At least it'll help us sharpen our writing skills- it's always nice to get inspiration hehe!

[featheredraven]

I love how you show their relationship falling apart. It really does in the end, which I think is part of what I liked about it so much.

My Hawke is such a 'love is greater than anything else' type of person and desperately trying to fix him even if she knows it's hopeless...I agree with you that I would never be able to run away with someone like Anders. But my Hawke is...and that makes me terribly sad.

*sigh* So much angst between them.

Also, even though this is a shorter piece, I think it hits very well on a lot of the issues. Very nice!

[travertineskies]

Ahhh!!! You!!! You're that amazing artist!!! AHHH!

Sorry. Ahem.

-nods- Yep, it was just so... I was so delirious with happiness when he nommed my Hawke (that sounds weird~), but by the end I was just so attached to their relationship that... Ngh. I played both ways, but in my heart I know I wouldn't. She can, since she can make both choices. :/ I just think it's sad either way, though.

I'm not very good at writing long fic, I tend to use my ideas too quickly. However, I'm really happy you liked it! :3

[travertineskies]

Haha, you think so? Thank you~! :D

Me, too. So many words I want to say and cry and vent but in the end, Anders is... A liar. Whatever he is. We still love him, though. Which is kind of ironic. >.<