(no subject)
Last week was a very interesting one with Ian here the whole time. I failed to pass Hiro's written flight test again on Tuesday, which is super frustrating, but Ian made me a drink when I got home and we took a walk and smoked blacks. And we had sex millions of times. Having him here for a week made me think about what it would be like to live with someone and share the same bed every night. I was worried that he would be bored most of the time, especially when I was in class, but that was silly because he can take care of himself and had work to do on the computer anyways. He starts at Amazon.com in Seattle next week. Finally felt comfortable with not worrying Saturday when I did my nails and watched ANTM for four hours while he networked on the floor. He even let me give him a pedicure.
Before he came out, I determined that I would not let him get to me like I did last time. That is, I would not become obsessed with him when he left. And I haven't thank god, but I do miss him. Just being around someone who likes to cuddle and touch and give tiny kisses reminded me of Tyler way too many times. And it's not like I miss Tyler, but I miss that feeling and thinking about that whole situation made me sad. And then I realized that I needed to stop thinking about Tyler and the hurt because I was happy right there in Ian's arms. But even that wasn't 100% comforting because that doesn't belong to me for real either. Yes, it is a little incredible and curious that Ian would fly all the way out here to see ME for a week, but I wasn't going to get carried away. The first time I asked him why he was here he thought I was joking because it was April Fool's Day. But then he told me that he enjoys spending time with me and that people who keep in touch should see each other every once in a while. So I was fine with that. THEN I accidentally looked at an email between him and our mutual friend Justin in which they were discussing "pursuing a relationship"and Ian may have been asking for advice. I didn't read it thoroughly, but Justin at least said some positive stuff about "she." So that could be me or it could totally not be me, could be someone else they know on Justin's end of things. Anyways, I'm definitely not going to over-think that too much. Because, you know, if Ian and I are going to be together eventually, eventually will come for us. I'm ok with waiting out the time, I think I've been jumping into things with people too quickly anyways. If something is here then it'll grow. I mean, he did fly out here to see me and I know he likes me alot as a person. AND Lauren likes him. Whoa guys, whoa ;)
I'll see him next in June for the North West Blues Recess in Oregon. And I hope I'll get to spend a few days with him in Seattle, if he's settled. Which he will be, because he's amazing. I dropped him off at DIA and this time we kissed goodbye, which was nice. Then I purposefully got lost in Denver on my way to my grandparents for Easter. I just needed to drive around randomly and think. My family played a card game called Phase 10 and ate Chinese food while we watched the Avalanche play and AMAZING game against the Sharks. And we won in overtime!! Great game. I think I'm going to put an add on Craig's List for a card-game partner. Ah need mah cribbage godammit!
Before he came out, I determined that I would not let him get to me like I did last time. That is, I would not become obsessed with him when he left. And I haven't thank god, but I do miss him. Just being around someone who likes to cuddle and touch and give tiny kisses reminded me of Tyler way too many times. And it's not like I miss Tyler, but I miss that feeling and thinking about that whole situation made me sad. And then I realized that I needed to stop thinking about Tyler and the hurt because I was happy right there in Ian's arms. But even that wasn't 100% comforting because that doesn't belong to me for real either. Yes, it is a little incredible and curious that Ian would fly all the way out here to see ME for a week, but I wasn't going to get carried away. The first time I asked him why he was here he thought I was joking because it was April Fool's Day. But then he told me that he enjoys spending time with me and that people who keep in touch should see each other every once in a while. So I was fine with that. THEN I accidentally looked at an email between him and our mutual friend Justin in which they were discussing "pursuing a relationship"and Ian may have been asking for advice. I didn't read it thoroughly, but Justin at least said some positive stuff about "she." So that could be me or it could totally not be me, could be someone else they know on Justin's end of things. Anyways, I'm definitely not going to over-think that too much. Because, you know, if Ian and I are going to be together eventually, eventually will come for us. I'm ok with waiting out the time, I think I've been jumping into things with people too quickly anyways. If something is here then it'll grow. I mean, he did fly out here to see me and I know he likes me alot as a person. AND Lauren likes him. Whoa guys, whoa ;)
I'll see him next in June for the North West Blues Recess in Oregon. And I hope I'll get to spend a few days with him in Seattle, if he's settled. Which he will be, because he's amazing. I dropped him off at DIA and this time we kissed goodbye, which was nice. Then I purposefully got lost in Denver on my way to my grandparents for Easter. I just needed to drive around randomly and think. My family played a card game called Phase 10 and ate Chinese food while we watched the Avalanche play and AMAZING game against the Sharks. And we won in overtime!! Great game. I think I'm going to put an add on Craig's List for a card-game partner. Ah need mah cribbage godammit!