And Still He Watches Me 5
Title: And Still He Watches Me
Characters: Shockwave/Swindle
Description: non-con, sticky, disturbing, mind games galore. First person POV, from Swindle's perspective. He's locked in a cell directly across from Shockwave in the Autobot stockade. His state of mind and general well being degrades in a slow downward spiral as Shockwave amuses himself. You probably don't want to read this if you are easily disturbed.
Entry 97
I've noticed a trend with the guards’ shifts.
Whenever I have to spend the night with Shockwave, there are no sympathetic guards on duty for several days afterwards. I know this is not a coincidence. The ones on duty today expressed their concern to my obvious pain, but didn't do much beyond offering to get the medic.
This is all so carefully planned.
I'd like to think more, plan more, and I really need to, given how dire this is getting, but Shockwave keeps tapping out his little countdowns, and there are other priorities I need to concern myself with.
I know where I'll be tonight.
I'm reinforcing my firewalls and locking everything down.
You won't get me you slagger.
Creating new file - slave link created - link source hidden and encoded - source will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - confirmation code requested confirmation received Slave file - untitled Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from temporary database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
System update - all firewalls operating at full capacity - memory files locked and encoded - Trojans activated - will infect any foreign presence attempting to access forbidden files - All files and protocols not necessitated for the function of Slave file - untitled Are now under full lockdown, and will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - Confirmation requested to finalise alterations - Confirmation received
I am not afraid of you. I am not intimidated by you. You have no power here. You have my body. You have access to my processor. But you do not own me.
I am not afraid of you.
You are very afraid of me, little bot. I don't know if you are attempting to deceive me or yourself, but you're failing on both accounts.
Hello Shockwave. Get out Shockwave.
No, I don't believe I will. I think I will remain snugly inside your mind like I will be snugly inside of you shortly. And you will take whatever I choose to do to you.
That make you feel like a big scary con, Shockwave? Giving orders?
It is my prerogative to give orders. Resist me if you wish, it simply makes you all the more fun to break.
You won't break me Shockwave. I have had much worse than you are allowed to do-
Warning File transfer initiated from foreign source
What was that? What are you doing?
Shh.
Warning Foreign program has bypassed first wave of firewalls. Foreign program has bypassed second wave of firewalls.
What are you doing? Get out. Get out! Stop!
Shh-shh shh. You're alright. It's alright.
Warning Foreign program has bypassed third wave of firewalls. Downloading sequence complete.
You're so tight little one. I don't think I'll tease you tonight. I think I'm just going to frag you. That sounds like a lovely idea.
Get out, GET OUT. Stop! Slagging STOP.
Foreign program identified - Processor function override protocol Buried Deep - Reviving protocol from newly deleted database
No no no! Stop! Stop!
Cancelation command overridden- ERROR.
Shh, be still. Just let it finish. Nnn, you're so tight. Hush now, shh. Relax. You're clenching, you'll do yourself harm like that.
Finalizing reinstallation - Processor function override protocol - Buried Deep - now installed
Deletion command overridden - ERROR
Secondary deletion command overridden - ERROR
Security software scan finds no foreign programs - processor is clean
Tertiary deletion command overridden - ERROR
Haaa, you're so tight. You're so small and so tight, and I can move you any way I please. Calm down now. You'll be alright. Shh shh shh. It's alright little one.
GET OUT. No! No no no!
Now accessing processor function override protocol Buried Deep Confirming initiation - Initiation confirmed
NO! Deny, deny! That's not the password! No!
Deletion command overridden - ERROR
First verification password requested - verification received.
We're almost- Ohhhh, you're lovely. Almost there. Shh.
Second verification password requested - Verification received.
Implimenting Buried Deep in 3 2 1
Processing command to cease protocol initiation - second verification has already been received - PASSWORD INCORRECT - command to cease denied
Hahh, ah, look at you little bot. Look at you squirm. Oh, that's lovely. That's so lovely. Oh yes, hahh.
Final verification requested - verification received. Processor function override protocol Buried Deep is now functioning. To stop this protocol, enter password ERROR - WARNING - PASSWORD NOT FOUND IN DATABASE. All processor functions will return to normal after password has been entered. WARNING - PASSWORD NOT FOUND IN DATABASE.
Foreign presence attempting to access encoded files - TROJANS INITIATED - WARNING - DESIST IMMEDIATELY
You're not allowed to have those. You can't have- ahh-hnnn!
Shh, you're alright. And no. I suppose I can't. Yet.
No. No no no. You can't have those. Get out. Get out get out get out.
Hush. Behave now. I'll leave those alone for the time being. Ah, I love it when you tremble like that. You really do have the most expressive optics. So round and afraid.
I am afraid. I don't like this. I don't like you. Get out. Get out of me. Ah!
That feels good, doesn't it? We're going to have another overload or two, you and I, and then we'll have a little chat before they take you away again, hmm?
Get out. Please get out. That hurts it hurts. And you're in my head. I don't like you in my head. You're touching under my legs and you're pushing me against the wall and I don't like it. You're in my head, and I don't like it. I don't like you poking around in my-AH! Hhaaahn, oh, oh. No. No no- Ah!
You're so warm little one.
I don't like it when you rub your face on me. Don't do that, don't-nn. Nnno. No.
Shh, you're alright. Haaaa, delicious. You're so delicious- Ahhhhh. Oh. Oh yes.
Nnn. I don't like that. I don't like that.
Someone will clean you up afterwards. And don't be silly. You like it a little or you wouldn't overload. You just don't like the fact that your body enjoys it. But this does feel good, doesn't it? It hurts, but it also feels very good.
No. No no no. Stop. Stop.
You love it, don't you. Ah- you're so frightened. You look so lovely when you're frightened.
Ah! Ahn-no! No no no. StStop. Stop it.
Part of you does-oh. Part of you does think this feels good. I'm in your head, little bot. You can't lie to me.
I don't want it to ffeel good good. I don't want it.
It's alright if it feels good. You're-mm, you're making me feel very, very nice after all. Oh, you're so tight.
Stop touching me there. Ppplease stop. That tingles and b and burns and it it I don't like it. Sto stop-AH! Ahnnnn. Oh. Oh no no no. Oh.
I love watching you, mm. I love watching you overload. You're so disgusted with it all, and it's written all over your faceplate.
I'm so tired. Stop. Please-ease sto stop.
Haaaaah. Oh yes. Oh, oh yes. You're so lovely. I love those big pretty optics. Oh.
It's all inside me.
Hmm? Ah yes. Yes it is. That tends to happen.
It's all inside me and-nn!
Shh, you're alright. Just a bit sore.
It's all inside you and what?
It's... it's all inside me, and there's too much and it's on the wall too. I can feel it behind me on the wall and down my legs. I don't like it. Please stop. Please get out. I don't like it.
I'll be out of you when we're done for the night. Mm, that feels nice. Now, you and I need to have a little chat.
I don't want a little chat.
I'm afraid you'll be having one anyway little bot. Look at you, I love that little protocol of yours. It usually takes me such a long time to get my little pets like this, but you came with a program that did all the work for me. I am so glad to have gotten a copy of it.
You're not using it right. This isn't what it's for. Stop it. Stop it, stop.
Hush now. Be a good bot.
I'm a con. I'm a con.
Ah, and there's what we need to discuss. You were never a decepticon. Do you know why that is?
I am a con.
No. No you are not. Decepticons are built for war. We are strong, we are powerful, and we fear nothing. The very day we are created we are ready for battle. We crush our foes without mercy, without hesitation. We follow command, and we know our rank, ambitions to improve the cause aside. Tell me Swindle; are you any of those things?
I don't understand.
Do you follow our lord Megatron?
Yes. No.
Maybe?
Are you perpetually ready for war? Do you hunger for battle?
No. I sell things. That's what I do. I sell things.
You do not even have a rank, little bot. You address our Lord by his designation alone. You do not recognise his position over yours. You do not even know how to fight.
I want to leave now. I don't want to be here.
You may not consider yourself an autobot, but you will never be a decepticon. Autobots are made to serve and maintain their superior counterparts. They are there for our amusement, they are there to do our bidding, and that is all they will ever be. Toys. Tools.
I don't like this. I don't like you.
And you are in the same standing as they are, little one. You are here to amuse, and for your pleasures to be taken.
I want to leave. I think we're done. I want to be done.
Yes. Yes, take that out of me. It's hurting me. I want to go. I want to go. Oh. It's running down my legs again. I don't like that.
I’m being carried. I don’t want to be held. I want to be left alone.
Are you out of my head?
ERROR - Password incorrect.
I want to turn this off. Ah. He's fixing me now. I want to turn this off.
ERROR - Password incorrect
It's all inside of me. He's still all inside of me. I can still feel him. I don't like it. I can't look at the medic. Shockwave can't see me. Shockwave can't see me.
ERROR - Password incorrect - Processor function override protocol Buried Deep will deactivate in six cycles. Please enter new password as soon as possible.
Turn off turn off turn off.
Please turn off.
File complete. Now deleting Slave file - untitled Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
------
Accessing Swindle's Log - Category - Stockaide Imprisonment. Entry 98 Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from Log database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
Oh Primus. Oh Primus. I can't get him out of my head. I can still feel him in my head. Oh no. Oh no no no. What did you do to me, I can't, I can't. Oh no no no. Just get out of my head, please.
He's not there anymore, he's not, he's not. I know he's not. He can't get through the wall. He can't see me right now. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm not okay. Oh PRIMUS, he was in my head. He was in my head. He was in my head and he made me weak and compliant and he felt everything he did to me. And he made me feel him. He's so cold. He's so cold.
He's not in my head. He's not in my head.
Everything hurts. Oh Primus. Everything hurts. He just kept pounding into me and touching the rim of my valve and all the little spots all over my body, he knew all of them. He came through the wall and he touched me and he can read me like a datafile, he read me like a datafile. He made me suffer and I squirmed like a whore and he liked it. He made me feel that he liked it. He made me beg. He made me beg.
Primus, get out of my head. Oh please, please. Get him out of my head.
He hurts me. I don't want to have to go back there. He hurts me.
Someone save me. Oh please. Oh Primus. Someone please save me. I can't do this. I can't I can't I can't.
Get him out of my head. Oh please please. Get him out of my head.
File complete. Now deleting Entry 98 Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
Entry 98
I need to get out of here.
I can't wait this out. I can't just fight with passive aggression. I need out. He can't get to my encrypted and guarded files, but I don't want to know how long it will take him to find a way.
I know he'll find a way.
Last night, he must have used whatever personal coding I had attached to Buried Deep to bypass my firewalls. There's no other way he could have done it. But if he does have those, even a handful, he has something to work with.
I can't let him get any deeper into my head than he already has. I need to do something. I need to get out.
I can't even stand right now. How do I run when I can't even stand?
I need a plan. I can do this. I need a plan. I am smart, smarter than most of the bots and cons here. I can do this.
He's staring at me. I can't turn away from him, but I can't look him in the face. I don't need to. I can feel his hunger from over here. I can hear him do that double tap as he strokes himself.
Leave me alone. You got what you wanted. Leave me alone.
Entry 99
Standing again today. Not in running shape, but I can stand. Shockwave asked if I wanted to see the medic, since I seemed injured. I still can't look at him, and his two personal guards didn't say anything. They never do. I don't think they're allowed to visibly react to anything he does.
He was smug going into interrogation today. I know he's not allowed in my head, so he probably feels like he's getting one over on his secretary. He's sneaky about plugging into my processor. I made myself think about what he does before hand, how he gets away with it. The first time, the quick time, I had my head against him, when I was too exhausted to keep myself upright anymore. He stroked my helm and got it in that way, inserted in on the side facing away from the escort guards so they couldn't see. And he was quick, in and out before they could notice. I didn't struggle much that time, I was in too much pain and too exhausted, and slowed down by Buried Deep.
I wish I'd never had that installed. It's not worth this.
The second time he took me against the back wall. He's broad in the shoulders and big enough to block me from their view, so again, the escort guards couldn't see what he was doing. I should have fought then, before he told me about his piece of blackmail. I thought I could outsmart him, since we were talking, albeit in my mind. I thought I could work around him, that's what I do. I wheel and deal, I undercut and scheme. I should have just struggled the minute he got inside my head.
The third-
The third time was the wall again. I thought he was just adding an extra layer of sadism by fingering me and fondling all my sensitive areas while he reuploaded Buried Deep, but no. He was being smart. He did things that would have been likely to make me squirm and thrash regardless. No one but him could see my face, and why wouldn't I struggle in that situation? He was raping me. You're supposed to struggle. That's why he shoved his cord into me so quickly too. Right before it finished installing, I was fighting for all I was worth, so he just pushed himself in and started pounding into me, to cover it up, make it look like I was just fighting him because it hurt. And it did hurt, and he just kept going even when I couldn't fight back, he just kept-
I'm-
I'm going to take my stasis nap now. I need to rest.
Entry 100
One hundred solar cycles in here. There's a story about that, some old piece of literature, isn't there? One hundred cycles of something or other. Some sexual torment, I don't know. Never read it, didn't think it'd appeal to me.
Shockwave's still pretty happy. Not as giddy as he was, but happy. I'm sure he's planning his next move, going over the bits of my personal coding he has, working out a way in. At least I have a bit of time before they give me to him again.
I need to figure out a way to struggle visibly and somehow communicate what he's doing to me in there. They stopped him from sticking his claws in my mouth, there's no way they'd sit there and let him- let him do that to me again if they knew. I can't let him take me over to the back wall next time. I can't.
I tried communicating to the medic about what had happened. He comes in during interrogation while I'm healing. First he thought I meant I had a pain in my neck, then my back. It didn't take him long to figure out I meant processor, but then he wanted to access it, and I panicked. I don't want anyone else to go in there again. Ever. He calmed me down a bit, tried to explain he needed to go in to find what was wrong, but everytime he went anywhere near me with that cable I flipped. I didn't mean to, it just... happened. He gave up after a while, didn't want me to hurt myself struggling with him. But he gave me a long look afterwards. Studied me. It was too much like Shockwave, so I made him leave.
I hope he figures out what I meant. He's not stupid.
Entry 101
I can walk a bit if I use the wall. Two of the newer guards on today, the ones that Shockwave talked to. They expressed concern when I had trouble walking. One of Shockwave's guards told them that the medic was aware of it already, and would be down later. Had been coming for a while and taking care of it.
When the new guards asked what was wrong with me, Shockwave's other guard said that would be a breach of my privacy.
I'm such a dirty little secret. Though part of me doesn't really want anyone else to know. It's not my fault, I know I have no control over the situation, but I still feel filthy and used.
Maintenance bots are coming by later to check up on the grates. Shockwave can't do anything, really. He's watched constantly now, but I guess they want to be sure. Better safe than sorry.
Entry 101 - Later
This was a bad day. This was a bad, bad day. It could not have gone worse if Shockwave had planned it.
The maintenance bots came by, Shockwave got shackled with a ridiculous amount of stasis cuffs and was left to sit by his cell. The cuffs were linked to the barrier system in the wall, so if he's moved a certain distance from it, it’ll give him a jolt strong enough to knock him out for half a deca-cycle. Ditto if anyone without the proper codes in triplicate attempts to remove them.
So the maintenance bot is doing his thing while another one is doing a routine cleaning of my cell. They do it every one hundred cycles apparently, and today was my turn. Shockwave's guards argued this for a bit and the bot with cleaning duty argued back. They didn’t want two prisoners out at once, but if they didn't comply, I wouldn't get a clean cell for another three deca-cycles. After a few more heated arguments, the cleaning bot won, and I too, was out in the hall, but mercifully, out of Shockwave's view. Alright, this was a little frightening, but doable.
But then an alarm went off. All hands on deck a level up, prisoner had escaped. Any guard with combat training and a high calibre shock stick must report for duty. Shockwave's guards hesitated, unsure, then left the key to Shockwave's cuffs with the newer guards, and told the maintenance bots to scram until things died down.
The cycle they'd left, Shockwave starts to talk to his little guard friends. Barely above a whisper. Look at poor Swindle, having such a difficult time. If only I could offer him comfort. I'm sure you both heard about why they remodelled this wing, and I am sorry to have caused such inconvenience, but I couldn't just keep letting that lecherous monster on the right keep molesting him, now could I?
No, agree the guards. They'd heard the things he'd said to me. It just wasn't right. Especially after all that abuse I'd gone through when I'd left him. How I'd been made to feel so ashamed afterwards I couldn't face him again, even though it was not my fault and Shockwave still cared very deeply about me.
Oh, Shockwave says. I wish I could just be close to him, like I used to. Just feel his little frame and tell him I still care, that he'll be alright. If only I could comfort him. And then he dims his optic. And the guards look thoughtful.
And they pick me up, and I can't move, and I can't scream, and they put me in his lap. And he murmurs sweet nothings to me, and the guards move a little down the hall, to give us privacy. And I can't move and I can't scream. I'm trembling, and the guards take it for a little emotional breakdown in the arms of an old lover who can't move to embrace me.
And then I felt his interface panel heat up against my thigh, and I purged. Got it all down my chassis, and a little on Shockwave's thigh. There there, he says. Let it out. It's alright.
The guards were trying to clean me up when the medic comes down with a pair of guards flanking him, and asks what happened. The guards both start talking at once when the medic notices the dripped mess trailing from me, to Shockwave's lap, and he loses it. The guard's superior officer is called, and there is alot of yelling for several cycles, the guards are relieved of duty, and I am taken to the washracks in the med bay and allowed to scrub myself until the medic stops me because he's worried I'm going to scrape off all my paint.
They left my barrier dimmed out for the rest of the day.
I could still hear Shockwave chuckle to himself until recharge.
-----
Entry 102
They left my barrier on that blackout setting for around a mega-cycle after I woke up. I appreciated that. Shockwave still stares at me, somehow, but at least he can't stare directly when that's there.
Some more of Shockwave's 'buddies' in today, but they're not so friendly now. They avoid looking at him, though they did sneak me a few horrified glances. Shockwave seemed amused by the whole thing. Makes a little huffing noise periodically that seems to pass for stifled laughter with him. If he had a mouth, he'd have a slag-eating grin plastered all over it. As usual, his guards react to nothing. Like statues.
Medic came down during interrogation time. Tried to coax me into letting him into my processor. Still can't do it. He promised he wouldn't go anywhere I didn't want him to, that he'd let me link up to him at the same time if that made me feel better, but no. I couldn’t do it. I tried today, but whenever he got too close, I just lost it. He looked at me like he did before, thoughtful, and I let him for a few moments before I made him leave.
Come to think of it, I can walk again now. He doesn't really need to come down, but he still does, and he still shoos away the guards while he's with me. Puts up the barrier too, gives me a bit of dignity while I'm laying on my back with my legs spread, or at least the illusion of it. He asked how my backstrut and pelvic joints were doing, as well as my valve. Said it seemed to be healing up alright. I indicated it was.
Told me he'd be back down tomorrow.
Entry 103
Medic tried to convince me to let him into my head again. Still no progress. I know this frustrates him, but he hides it well. No communication devices are allowed in areas where prisoners are, especially areas where inmates have a history of hacking or being intelligent enough to transmit corrupting data. And I can't talk, so I'm not really giving him anything to work with. He tried convincing the guards to let him smuggle one in, but they told him no, they can't risk someone getting a hold of it and using it to shut down all the barriers at once, or destroying the system in a remote hack.
So he looked at me again, and I looked at him, and he sort of sighed and left. Said he'd be back, and to take it easy.
He stopped on his way out, I couldn't see him, but I heard him and his escort halt. There were a few nanokliks of tense silence, and then I heard the medic say "Stop doing that to yourself. You're damaging what interfacing cables you actually have left, and if you keep rubbing that hard, they will start to fall out."
Con on the left waited until the medic was gone before piping up with, "Should we start calling you Stubby, then?" Con the right told him to go frag himself, and con on the left replied with "Maybe I will. Jealous?"
Made my slagging day.
Entry 104
Maybe I got somewhere with the medic today. I can hope, can't I? We did our usual check up, though he didn't check my valve or under my armour today, just asked questions, but he kept the barrier dimmed anyway. He didn't ask if he could plug himself into my processor, but he did ask me to try to mime what had happened. I felt faintly ridiculous about it, but with a bit of coaxing I tried. Took us a frustrating quarter of a megacycle to get anywhere, with me trying to mimic Shockwave’s horn things, and the feeling of him in my processor. Even without words, I didn't want to get too into it. Shockwave knowing what he'd done was enough. I didn't want to tell anyone else. But still, as cryptic and abstract as it was, something I did sparked in his mind. He looked away from me, pensive and disturbed and said he needed to talk to some superiors. And then he left.
I know they're going to give me to him again. I'm not worth that many of their own. But still. A little foothold is better than total free-fall.
I had my stasis nap after that, and con on the right woke me up. I could hear metal grinding on metal, and subtle whimpering. I doubt anyone but me could hear it. We all heard the horrified gasp though. Some of the more indifferent guards were on duty, and they turned to see what was the matter. Then one of them slapped himself in the faceplate, dragging his servo down it before muttering to his companion to comm the medic.
Con on the left asked if he was just going to "Go ahead and get a frontal valve installed then?" Con on the right half-heartedly threatened to kill him.
Oh, justice. You haven't completely abandoned me.
Entry 105
No visit from the medic today, but someone weird did pop up. Weird but familiar. Big blue oaf with the chin, the one from that Elite guard ship that I got all that swag from way back when. Feels like an eternity ago now.
He seemed to garner alot of respect from the guards, plenty of salutes and calling him sir. He puffed up a little, told them to be at ease, and then got them to shoo down the hall. Then he just looked at me for a bit. I stared back, which I found a little difficult. I’ve been very tense around large mechs lately, though I’m fighting it. I was expecting him to be a bit smug, gloating maybe. His posture certainly spoke of pride, but his optics didn't. Same expression in there as that little red minibot; sad, guilty. Torn. He was only there for a few cycles, and then something around his mouth twisted and he left as he'd come. I'm thinking he's another interrogator. What his connection to Shockwave and me is, I haven't the slightest.
Friendly guard is back. Said he'd heard I'd been feeling unwell of late. Kept the barrier up for a lot longer than he was supposed to, turned it on earlier in the evening too. Brought me a higher grade of energon for ration than what I'm used to getting, even took a sip of it to show it wasn't drugged. It was kind of him, and I took advantage of the respite to make some preparations.
Spent the rest of the day building new firewalls from the ground up, deleting every trace of Buried Deep and marking it as foreign and a severe threat, and building some little mental trip wires, a little forward bombardment that will go off before the Trojans if Shockwave starts to dig. He pokes at anything I don't want him getting his horrible claws in, he'll get hit with a load of mental stimulus. It'll only last a nanoklik, but that's a nanoklik I can use.
If previous experience is anything to go by, I'll be in that cell again soon. He's happy again, if I needed another indicator.
Entry 106
Today was disturbing.
Some of the newer guards again. The ones Shockwave had spoken to. Like the ones from a few solar cycles ago, they tried to ignore him. He clicked his claws a bit, enjoying the tension, asked them what was the matter. They ignored him for a while, but eventually one of them couldn't take it, and snapped under the staring and the silence.
Told Shockwave he was disgusting and sick, even for a decepticon. That he hadn't known anything could be that conniving and evil, that he wasn't sure Shockwave even had a spark, that he was probably just some horrible dead thing that came from somewhere else entirely. That he couldn’t believe he was Cybertronian at all, and that he’d made all that up just for one twisted little moment he wasn’t allowed to have.
Shockwave said he was offended at his accusations. Said he found it hurtful when he'd thought they were so very close.
The guard sputtered and prepared to rant again, and one of Shockwave's guards spoke for perhaps the first time. Told the newer guard to ignore him, that he was doing exactly what Shockwave wanted. That he was being played with. And to go take a walk.
They did, and Shockwave started to make that little huffing in his vents. And then he'd laughed. It was a sick sound, and not one I'd ever like to hear again. Cold and cruel and echoing down the hall.
His guards reacted to nothing. I don't want to know how they were trained to do that.
Entry 106 - Later
Two claws.
-----
Entry 107
It's soon now. Tomorrow. One claw.
I spent the day building firewalls and defences, sticking all the worst memories and emotions I've got on file into that trip wire over my encrypted areas, and then I built a small virus. It won't do much, but hopefully it'll slow him down long enough for me to get help. I just need to get help. He's not allowed in my head, and I will not be dragged down without a fight. I refuse to be broken like that again.
He's looking at me, gloating. Confident.
I can do this. You won't get me.
You're so cocky, so happy tonight. But you won't get me. I'm not ready, I'll never be ready. But I'm going to fight you with everything I've got Shockwave. I am not one of your little lapslaves.
Entry 108
It's tonight.
He's waiting, and so am I.
I can do this. I can do this.
Creating new file - slave link created - link source hidden and encoded - source will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - confirmation code requested confirmation received Slave file - untitled Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from temporary database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
System update - all firewalls operating at full capacity - memory files locked and encoded - Trojans activated - will infect any foreign presence attempting to access forbidden files - All files and protocols not necessitated for the function of Slave file - untitled Are now under full lockdown, and will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - Cache of memory files titled Suck on this One Eye linked to transfer to any foreign entity attempting to access forbidden files - Virus locked and ready for transfer - Any files bearing title Buried Deep are hostile and will be attacked - Confirmation requested to finalise alterations - Confirmation received
Hello Shockwave.
Hello Swindle. How are you feeling tonight? That was a nice little greeting. Very agreeable.
I like that.
Shockwave, you are going to get out.
No, I think I am going to -uhn.
WARNING - Foreign presence has attempted to access encrypted files - transferring Virus - Transfer in 3...2...
Transfer interrupted.- ERROR - Virus has been immobilised and destroyed.
Oh Swindle, Swindle, Swindle. I do hope you didn't honestly believe that would work? A valiant effort, but futile. Be still now. I want to see what it is you're hiding from-
WARNING - Second attempt by foreign presence to access encrypted files - Suck on this One Eye has been transferred
Oh little bot, little bot.
That was unpleasant. And very, very unwise. You've been quite a naughty bot. And do you know what happens to naughty little bots?
WARNING - Slave file has been traced to source - remove foreign presence manually and immediately ERROR - abortive command has been overridden - remove foreign presence manually and immediately - DANGER Slave file has been corrupted by foreign presence - log has been hacked - DANGER
Naughty little bots get punished.
What have you done? Get out! GET OUT! NO! NO NO NO!
ERROR - abortive command has been overridden - remove foreign presence manually and immediately DANGER - SYSTEM HAS BEEN HACKED. IMMIDIATE ACTION NEC-
ERROR - All warning systems experiencing disturbance. Please check systems as soon as possible
GET OUT. What are you doing to me, GET OUT!
Shh shh shh. So noisy. It's much nicer in here without all those blaring little alarms. Now where were we?
Ah, yes.
Teaching you your place in the world.
What are you doing? No!
Swindle's log - New Category
You Belong To Me - Entry 1
WARNING - Log will be permanently embedded in memory core - confirmation required - Confirmation received. Log will be permanently embedded once closed
STOP IT! No! No no no! Get off, let me go, take that out, NO!
Shhhhh. I'm just giving you a little reminder. It's not going to hurt you, be still. Mm. I see you've remained tight as you were that first night. I do love how well you heal after our little amorous activities.
STOP IT! NO! NO NO NO NO! THAT'S NOT YOURS, GET OUT GET OUT!
You are my property. You exist to be taken and used as I please, you are my toy, a plaything. You will submit to my will, you will be subservient, and in time, you will be made to enjoy it. Everything you have, everything you are, belongs to me. Your place is in my lap, seated firmly over my cord. And you will like it.
What else should I add into that little lesson for you, I wonder? Mmm. I love it when you clench and shiver, do keep doing that.
GET OUT OF ME! GET OUT!
Foreign presence has been removed. Log entry 1 - category You Belong To Me will be permanently embedded once closed - Continuing Log
Foreign presence detected - Presence identified - Medic - Allowing access in 3... 2... 1...
Shh, I know you're scared. It's alright to be scared, I'm going to fix it, okay? Whatever he's done, I'm going to fix it.
Get off me! GET OFF!
I can't do that right now. I'm sorry. We can't let you up because you will run, and I need to fix you. We're going to get this out of you. I don't expect you to trust me right now, but just know that I'm not going to hurt you. Shh. You'll be okay. He's not going to get you.
GET! OUT!
Shh, it's alright, it's just me. You know me. We're just going to get this out of your processor, okay? I know this is painful for you, and you're scared, and that's okay, but I need you online right now. If you go into stasis, or I put you into stasis, that's going to be stuck in your head and I won't be able to get it out. We're almost there. Shh. It's alright, you're alright.
That's what he says! Get them off me, don't pin me like this, LET ME UP! GET OUT!
He can't get you right now. I promise, he can't get you, we've got him knocked out and we'll be removing his hacking cables as soon as I'm done with you. Sentinel Magnus is here, and he made sure he can’t get up. He can’t get you. I just have to fix this, and then you're going to have a nice stasis.
NO! No, get them off of me, get out of me, I can't! Get off me! I don't want you in here, I don't want you IN HERE! Get out of MY HEAD!
I know you don't. Shh shh shh. I'm sorry. I know you don't.
Primus, I'm so sorry
Please...please get out, get off me, get out. Just get off.
Deleting Swindle's log - New Category - You Belong To Me - Deletion command denied.... - ERROR - Medical override received - deleting Swindle's log - New Category - You Belong To Me - Deleting... deleting... deleting... File removed. Now repairing warning systems - Systems will take 2 megacycles to come back online - systems repairing - medical stimulus coding received - temporary warning systems now in place - Temporary systems will delete themselves in two megacycles
Now downloading sedation protocol - protocol will erase itself from systems in 2 megacycles - downloading... downloading... downloading....download complete. Sedation protocol initiating
Get off me. I'll kill you, I'll kill you, get off me...get off.
Shh. I got it out. You're alright. See? We're all off you. No one's holding you down.
No one's holding me down?
No one's holding you down. How are you feeling?
I'm tired. I'm afraid and I'm tired.
It's okay to be afraid. That's alright. I'm going to disconnect from you now, alright?
Yes. Get out.
Medic has been removed from systems
No one's in my head now. No one's on top of me. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm....I'm okay.
ERROR - System going into stasis - Slave file - untitled Will be automatically deleted once system is in recharge mode - Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
I’m…
I’m….
Characters: Shockwave/Swindle
Description: non-con, sticky, disturbing, mind games galore. First person POV, from Swindle's perspective. He's locked in a cell directly across from Shockwave in the Autobot stockade. His state of mind and general well being degrades in a slow downward spiral as Shockwave amuses himself. You probably don't want to read this if you are easily disturbed.
Entry 97
I've noticed a trend with the guards’ shifts.
Whenever I have to spend the night with Shockwave, there are no sympathetic guards on duty for several days afterwards. I know this is not a coincidence. The ones on duty today expressed their concern to my obvious pain, but didn't do much beyond offering to get the medic.
This is all so carefully planned.
I'd like to think more, plan more, and I really need to, given how dire this is getting, but Shockwave keeps tapping out his little countdowns, and there are other priorities I need to concern myself with.
I know where I'll be tonight.
I'm reinforcing my firewalls and locking everything down.
You won't get me you slagger.
Creating new file - slave link created - link source hidden and encoded - source will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - confirmation code requested confirmation received Slave file - untitled Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from temporary database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
System update - all firewalls operating at full capacity - memory files locked and encoded - Trojans activated - will infect any foreign presence attempting to access forbidden files - All files and protocols not necessitated for the function of Slave file - untitled Are now under full lockdown, and will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - Confirmation requested to finalise alterations - Confirmation received
I am not afraid of you. I am not intimidated by you. You have no power here. You have my body. You have access to my processor. But you do not own me.
I am not afraid of you.
You are very afraid of me, little bot. I don't know if you are attempting to deceive me or yourself, but you're failing on both accounts.
Hello Shockwave. Get out Shockwave.
No, I don't believe I will. I think I will remain snugly inside your mind like I will be snugly inside of you shortly. And you will take whatever I choose to do to you.
That make you feel like a big scary con, Shockwave? Giving orders?
It is my prerogative to give orders. Resist me if you wish, it simply makes you all the more fun to break.
You won't break me Shockwave. I have had much worse than you are allowed to do-
Warning File transfer initiated from foreign source
What was that? What are you doing?
Shh.
Warning Foreign program has bypassed first wave of firewalls. Foreign program has bypassed second wave of firewalls.
What are you doing? Get out. Get out! Stop!
Shh-shh shh. You're alright. It's alright.
Warning Foreign program has bypassed third wave of firewalls. Downloading sequence complete.
You're so tight little one. I don't think I'll tease you tonight. I think I'm just going to frag you. That sounds like a lovely idea.
Get out, GET OUT. Stop! Slagging STOP.
Foreign program identified - Processor function override protocol Buried Deep - Reviving protocol from newly deleted database
No no no! Stop! Stop!
Cancelation command overridden- ERROR.
Shh, be still. Just let it finish. Nnn, you're so tight. Hush now, shh. Relax. You're clenching, you'll do yourself harm like that.
Finalizing reinstallation - Processor function override protocol - Buried Deep - now installed
Deletion command overridden - ERROR
Secondary deletion command overridden - ERROR
Security software scan finds no foreign programs - processor is clean
Tertiary deletion command overridden - ERROR
Haaa, you're so tight. You're so small and so tight, and I can move you any way I please. Calm down now. You'll be alright. Shh shh shh. It's alright little one.
GET OUT. No! No no no!
Now accessing processor function override protocol Buried Deep Confirming initiation - Initiation confirmed
NO! Deny, deny! That's not the password! No!
Deletion command overridden - ERROR
First verification password requested - verification received.
We're almost- Ohhhh, you're lovely. Almost there. Shh.
Second verification password requested - Verification received.
Implimenting Buried Deep in 3 2 1
Processing command to cease protocol initiation - second verification has already been received - PASSWORD INCORRECT - command to cease denied
Hahh, ah, look at you little bot. Look at you squirm. Oh, that's lovely. That's so lovely. Oh yes, hahh.
Final verification requested - verification received. Processor function override protocol Buried Deep is now functioning. To stop this protocol, enter password ERROR - WARNING - PASSWORD NOT FOUND IN DATABASE. All processor functions will return to normal after password has been entered. WARNING - PASSWORD NOT FOUND IN DATABASE.
Foreign presence attempting to access encoded files - TROJANS INITIATED - WARNING - DESIST IMMEDIATELY
You're not allowed to have those. You can't have- ahh-hnnn!
Shh, you're alright. And no. I suppose I can't. Yet.
No. No no no. You can't have those. Get out. Get out get out get out.
Hush. Behave now. I'll leave those alone for the time being. Ah, I love it when you tremble like that. You really do have the most expressive optics. So round and afraid.
I am afraid. I don't like this. I don't like you. Get out. Get out of me. Ah!
That feels good, doesn't it? We're going to have another overload or two, you and I, and then we'll have a little chat before they take you away again, hmm?
Get out. Please get out. That hurts it hurts. And you're in my head. I don't like you in my head. You're touching under my legs and you're pushing me against the wall and I don't like it. You're in my head, and I don't like it. I don't like you poking around in my-AH! Hhaaahn, oh, oh. No. No no- Ah!
You're so warm little one.
I don't like it when you rub your face on me. Don't do that, don't-nn. Nnno. No.
Shh, you're alright. Haaaa, delicious. You're so delicious- Ahhhhh. Oh. Oh yes.
Nnn. I don't like that. I don't like that.
Someone will clean you up afterwards. And don't be silly. You like it a little or you wouldn't overload. You just don't like the fact that your body enjoys it. But this does feel good, doesn't it? It hurts, but it also feels very good.
No. No no no. Stop. Stop.
You love it, don't you. Ah- you're so frightened. You look so lovely when you're frightened.
Ah! Ahn-no! No no no. StStop. Stop it.
Part of you does-oh. Part of you does think this feels good. I'm in your head, little bot. You can't lie to me.
I don't want it to ffeel good good. I don't want it.
It's alright if it feels good. You're-mm, you're making me feel very, very nice after all. Oh, you're so tight.
Stop touching me there. Ppplease stop. That tingles and b and burns and it it I don't like it. Sto stop-AH! Ahnnnn. Oh. Oh no no no. Oh.
I love watching you, mm. I love watching you overload. You're so disgusted with it all, and it's written all over your faceplate.
I'm so tired. Stop. Please-ease sto stop.
Haaaaah. Oh yes. Oh, oh yes. You're so lovely. I love those big pretty optics. Oh.
It's all inside me.
Hmm? Ah yes. Yes it is. That tends to happen.
It's all inside me and-nn!
Shh, you're alright. Just a bit sore.
It's all inside you and what?
It's... it's all inside me, and there's too much and it's on the wall too. I can feel it behind me on the wall and down my legs. I don't like it. Please stop. Please get out. I don't like it.
I'll be out of you when we're done for the night. Mm, that feels nice. Now, you and I need to have a little chat.
I don't want a little chat.
I'm afraid you'll be having one anyway little bot. Look at you, I love that little protocol of yours. It usually takes me such a long time to get my little pets like this, but you came with a program that did all the work for me. I am so glad to have gotten a copy of it.
You're not using it right. This isn't what it's for. Stop it. Stop it, stop.
Hush now. Be a good bot.
I'm a con. I'm a con.
Ah, and there's what we need to discuss. You were never a decepticon. Do you know why that is?
I am a con.
No. No you are not. Decepticons are built for war. We are strong, we are powerful, and we fear nothing. The very day we are created we are ready for battle. We crush our foes without mercy, without hesitation. We follow command, and we know our rank, ambitions to improve the cause aside. Tell me Swindle; are you any of those things?
I don't understand.
Do you follow our lord Megatron?
Yes. No.
Maybe?
Are you perpetually ready for war? Do you hunger for battle?
No. I sell things. That's what I do. I sell things.
You do not even have a rank, little bot. You address our Lord by his designation alone. You do not recognise his position over yours. You do not even know how to fight.
I want to leave now. I don't want to be here.
You may not consider yourself an autobot, but you will never be a decepticon. Autobots are made to serve and maintain their superior counterparts. They are there for our amusement, they are there to do our bidding, and that is all they will ever be. Toys. Tools.
I don't like this. I don't like you.
And you are in the same standing as they are, little one. You are here to amuse, and for your pleasures to be taken.
I want to leave. I think we're done. I want to be done.
Yes. Yes, take that out of me. It's hurting me. I want to go. I want to go. Oh. It's running down my legs again. I don't like that.
I’m being carried. I don’t want to be held. I want to be left alone.
Are you out of my head?
ERROR - Password incorrect.
I want to turn this off. Ah. He's fixing me now. I want to turn this off.
ERROR - Password incorrect
It's all inside of me. He's still all inside of me. I can still feel him. I don't like it. I can't look at the medic. Shockwave can't see me. Shockwave can't see me.
ERROR - Password incorrect - Processor function override protocol Buried Deep will deactivate in six cycles. Please enter new password as soon as possible.
Turn off turn off turn off.
Please turn off.
File complete. Now deleting Slave file - untitled Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
------
Accessing Swindle's Log - Category - Stockaide Imprisonment. Entry 98 Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from Log database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
Oh Primus. Oh Primus. I can't get him out of my head. I can still feel him in my head. Oh no. Oh no no no. What did you do to me, I can't, I can't. Oh no no no. Just get out of my head, please.
He's not there anymore, he's not, he's not. I know he's not. He can't get through the wall. He can't see me right now. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm not okay. Oh PRIMUS, he was in my head. He was in my head. He was in my head and he made me weak and compliant and he felt everything he did to me. And he made me feel him. He's so cold. He's so cold.
He's not in my head. He's not in my head.
Everything hurts. Oh Primus. Everything hurts. He just kept pounding into me and touching the rim of my valve and all the little spots all over my body, he knew all of them. He came through the wall and he touched me and he can read me like a datafile, he read me like a datafile. He made me suffer and I squirmed like a whore and he liked it. He made me feel that he liked it. He made me beg. He made me beg.
Primus, get out of my head. Oh please, please. Get him out of my head.
He hurts me. I don't want to have to go back there. He hurts me.
Someone save me. Oh please. Oh Primus. Someone please save me. I can't do this. I can't I can't I can't.
Get him out of my head. Oh please please. Get him out of my head.
File complete. Now deleting Entry 98 Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
Entry 98
I need to get out of here.
I can't wait this out. I can't just fight with passive aggression. I need out. He can't get to my encrypted and guarded files, but I don't want to know how long it will take him to find a way.
I know he'll find a way.
Last night, he must have used whatever personal coding I had attached to Buried Deep to bypass my firewalls. There's no other way he could have done it. But if he does have those, even a handful, he has something to work with.
I can't let him get any deeper into my head than he already has. I need to do something. I need to get out.
I can't even stand right now. How do I run when I can't even stand?
I need a plan. I can do this. I need a plan. I am smart, smarter than most of the bots and cons here. I can do this.
He's staring at me. I can't turn away from him, but I can't look him in the face. I don't need to. I can feel his hunger from over here. I can hear him do that double tap as he strokes himself.
Leave me alone. You got what you wanted. Leave me alone.
Entry 99
Standing again today. Not in running shape, but I can stand. Shockwave asked if I wanted to see the medic, since I seemed injured. I still can't look at him, and his two personal guards didn't say anything. They never do. I don't think they're allowed to visibly react to anything he does.
He was smug going into interrogation today. I know he's not allowed in my head, so he probably feels like he's getting one over on his secretary. He's sneaky about plugging into my processor. I made myself think about what he does before hand, how he gets away with it. The first time, the quick time, I had my head against him, when I was too exhausted to keep myself upright anymore. He stroked my helm and got it in that way, inserted in on the side facing away from the escort guards so they couldn't see. And he was quick, in and out before they could notice. I didn't struggle much that time, I was in too much pain and too exhausted, and slowed down by Buried Deep.
I wish I'd never had that installed. It's not worth this.
The second time he took me against the back wall. He's broad in the shoulders and big enough to block me from their view, so again, the escort guards couldn't see what he was doing. I should have fought then, before he told me about his piece of blackmail. I thought I could outsmart him, since we were talking, albeit in my mind. I thought I could work around him, that's what I do. I wheel and deal, I undercut and scheme. I should have just struggled the minute he got inside my head.
The third-
The third time was the wall again. I thought he was just adding an extra layer of sadism by fingering me and fondling all my sensitive areas while he reuploaded Buried Deep, but no. He was being smart. He did things that would have been likely to make me squirm and thrash regardless. No one but him could see my face, and why wouldn't I struggle in that situation? He was raping me. You're supposed to struggle. That's why he shoved his cord into me so quickly too. Right before it finished installing, I was fighting for all I was worth, so he just pushed himself in and started pounding into me, to cover it up, make it look like I was just fighting him because it hurt. And it did hurt, and he just kept going even when I couldn't fight back, he just kept-
I'm-
I'm going to take my stasis nap now. I need to rest.
Entry 100
One hundred solar cycles in here. There's a story about that, some old piece of literature, isn't there? One hundred cycles of something or other. Some sexual torment, I don't know. Never read it, didn't think it'd appeal to me.
Shockwave's still pretty happy. Not as giddy as he was, but happy. I'm sure he's planning his next move, going over the bits of my personal coding he has, working out a way in. At least I have a bit of time before they give me to him again.
I need to figure out a way to struggle visibly and somehow communicate what he's doing to me in there. They stopped him from sticking his claws in my mouth, there's no way they'd sit there and let him- let him do that to me again if they knew. I can't let him take me over to the back wall next time. I can't.
I tried communicating to the medic about what had happened. He comes in during interrogation while I'm healing. First he thought I meant I had a pain in my neck, then my back. It didn't take him long to figure out I meant processor, but then he wanted to access it, and I panicked. I don't want anyone else to go in there again. Ever. He calmed me down a bit, tried to explain he needed to go in to find what was wrong, but everytime he went anywhere near me with that cable I flipped. I didn't mean to, it just... happened. He gave up after a while, didn't want me to hurt myself struggling with him. But he gave me a long look afterwards. Studied me. It was too much like Shockwave, so I made him leave.
I hope he figures out what I meant. He's not stupid.
Entry 101
I can walk a bit if I use the wall. Two of the newer guards on today, the ones that Shockwave talked to. They expressed concern when I had trouble walking. One of Shockwave's guards told them that the medic was aware of it already, and would be down later. Had been coming for a while and taking care of it.
When the new guards asked what was wrong with me, Shockwave's other guard said that would be a breach of my privacy.
I'm such a dirty little secret. Though part of me doesn't really want anyone else to know. It's not my fault, I know I have no control over the situation, but I still feel filthy and used.
Maintenance bots are coming by later to check up on the grates. Shockwave can't do anything, really. He's watched constantly now, but I guess they want to be sure. Better safe than sorry.
Entry 101 - Later
This was a bad day. This was a bad, bad day. It could not have gone worse if Shockwave had planned it.
The maintenance bots came by, Shockwave got shackled with a ridiculous amount of stasis cuffs and was left to sit by his cell. The cuffs were linked to the barrier system in the wall, so if he's moved a certain distance from it, it’ll give him a jolt strong enough to knock him out for half a deca-cycle. Ditto if anyone without the proper codes in triplicate attempts to remove them.
So the maintenance bot is doing his thing while another one is doing a routine cleaning of my cell. They do it every one hundred cycles apparently, and today was my turn. Shockwave's guards argued this for a bit and the bot with cleaning duty argued back. They didn’t want two prisoners out at once, but if they didn't comply, I wouldn't get a clean cell for another three deca-cycles. After a few more heated arguments, the cleaning bot won, and I too, was out in the hall, but mercifully, out of Shockwave's view. Alright, this was a little frightening, but doable.
But then an alarm went off. All hands on deck a level up, prisoner had escaped. Any guard with combat training and a high calibre shock stick must report for duty. Shockwave's guards hesitated, unsure, then left the key to Shockwave's cuffs with the newer guards, and told the maintenance bots to scram until things died down.
The cycle they'd left, Shockwave starts to talk to his little guard friends. Barely above a whisper. Look at poor Swindle, having such a difficult time. If only I could offer him comfort. I'm sure you both heard about why they remodelled this wing, and I am sorry to have caused such inconvenience, but I couldn't just keep letting that lecherous monster on the right keep molesting him, now could I?
No, agree the guards. They'd heard the things he'd said to me. It just wasn't right. Especially after all that abuse I'd gone through when I'd left him. How I'd been made to feel so ashamed afterwards I couldn't face him again, even though it was not my fault and Shockwave still cared very deeply about me.
Oh, Shockwave says. I wish I could just be close to him, like I used to. Just feel his little frame and tell him I still care, that he'll be alright. If only I could comfort him. And then he dims his optic. And the guards look thoughtful.
And they pick me up, and I can't move, and I can't scream, and they put me in his lap. And he murmurs sweet nothings to me, and the guards move a little down the hall, to give us privacy. And I can't move and I can't scream. I'm trembling, and the guards take it for a little emotional breakdown in the arms of an old lover who can't move to embrace me.
And then I felt his interface panel heat up against my thigh, and I purged. Got it all down my chassis, and a little on Shockwave's thigh. There there, he says. Let it out. It's alright.
The guards were trying to clean me up when the medic comes down with a pair of guards flanking him, and asks what happened. The guards both start talking at once when the medic notices the dripped mess trailing from me, to Shockwave's lap, and he loses it. The guard's superior officer is called, and there is alot of yelling for several cycles, the guards are relieved of duty, and I am taken to the washracks in the med bay and allowed to scrub myself until the medic stops me because he's worried I'm going to scrape off all my paint.
They left my barrier dimmed out for the rest of the day.
I could still hear Shockwave chuckle to himself until recharge.
-----
Entry 102
They left my barrier on that blackout setting for around a mega-cycle after I woke up. I appreciated that. Shockwave still stares at me, somehow, but at least he can't stare directly when that's there.
Some more of Shockwave's 'buddies' in today, but they're not so friendly now. They avoid looking at him, though they did sneak me a few horrified glances. Shockwave seemed amused by the whole thing. Makes a little huffing noise periodically that seems to pass for stifled laughter with him. If he had a mouth, he'd have a slag-eating grin plastered all over it. As usual, his guards react to nothing. Like statues.
Medic came down during interrogation time. Tried to coax me into letting him into my processor. Still can't do it. He promised he wouldn't go anywhere I didn't want him to, that he'd let me link up to him at the same time if that made me feel better, but no. I couldn’t do it. I tried today, but whenever he got too close, I just lost it. He looked at me like he did before, thoughtful, and I let him for a few moments before I made him leave.
Come to think of it, I can walk again now. He doesn't really need to come down, but he still does, and he still shoos away the guards while he's with me. Puts up the barrier too, gives me a bit of dignity while I'm laying on my back with my legs spread, or at least the illusion of it. He asked how my backstrut and pelvic joints were doing, as well as my valve. Said it seemed to be healing up alright. I indicated it was.
Told me he'd be back down tomorrow.
Entry 103
Medic tried to convince me to let him into my head again. Still no progress. I know this frustrates him, but he hides it well. No communication devices are allowed in areas where prisoners are, especially areas where inmates have a history of hacking or being intelligent enough to transmit corrupting data. And I can't talk, so I'm not really giving him anything to work with. He tried convincing the guards to let him smuggle one in, but they told him no, they can't risk someone getting a hold of it and using it to shut down all the barriers at once, or destroying the system in a remote hack.
So he looked at me again, and I looked at him, and he sort of sighed and left. Said he'd be back, and to take it easy.
He stopped on his way out, I couldn't see him, but I heard him and his escort halt. There were a few nanokliks of tense silence, and then I heard the medic say "Stop doing that to yourself. You're damaging what interfacing cables you actually have left, and if you keep rubbing that hard, they will start to fall out."
Con on the left waited until the medic was gone before piping up with, "Should we start calling you Stubby, then?" Con the right told him to go frag himself, and con on the left replied with "Maybe I will. Jealous?"
Made my slagging day.
Entry 104
Maybe I got somewhere with the medic today. I can hope, can't I? We did our usual check up, though he didn't check my valve or under my armour today, just asked questions, but he kept the barrier dimmed anyway. He didn't ask if he could plug himself into my processor, but he did ask me to try to mime what had happened. I felt faintly ridiculous about it, but with a bit of coaxing I tried. Took us a frustrating quarter of a megacycle to get anywhere, with me trying to mimic Shockwave’s horn things, and the feeling of him in my processor. Even without words, I didn't want to get too into it. Shockwave knowing what he'd done was enough. I didn't want to tell anyone else. But still, as cryptic and abstract as it was, something I did sparked in his mind. He looked away from me, pensive and disturbed and said he needed to talk to some superiors. And then he left.
I know they're going to give me to him again. I'm not worth that many of their own. But still. A little foothold is better than total free-fall.
I had my stasis nap after that, and con on the right woke me up. I could hear metal grinding on metal, and subtle whimpering. I doubt anyone but me could hear it. We all heard the horrified gasp though. Some of the more indifferent guards were on duty, and they turned to see what was the matter. Then one of them slapped himself in the faceplate, dragging his servo down it before muttering to his companion to comm the medic.
Con on the left asked if he was just going to "Go ahead and get a frontal valve installed then?" Con on the right half-heartedly threatened to kill him.
Oh, justice. You haven't completely abandoned me.
Entry 105
No visit from the medic today, but someone weird did pop up. Weird but familiar. Big blue oaf with the chin, the one from that Elite guard ship that I got all that swag from way back when. Feels like an eternity ago now.
He seemed to garner alot of respect from the guards, plenty of salutes and calling him sir. He puffed up a little, told them to be at ease, and then got them to shoo down the hall. Then he just looked at me for a bit. I stared back, which I found a little difficult. I’ve been very tense around large mechs lately, though I’m fighting it. I was expecting him to be a bit smug, gloating maybe. His posture certainly spoke of pride, but his optics didn't. Same expression in there as that little red minibot; sad, guilty. Torn. He was only there for a few cycles, and then something around his mouth twisted and he left as he'd come. I'm thinking he's another interrogator. What his connection to Shockwave and me is, I haven't the slightest.
Friendly guard is back. Said he'd heard I'd been feeling unwell of late. Kept the barrier up for a lot longer than he was supposed to, turned it on earlier in the evening too. Brought me a higher grade of energon for ration than what I'm used to getting, even took a sip of it to show it wasn't drugged. It was kind of him, and I took advantage of the respite to make some preparations.
Spent the rest of the day building new firewalls from the ground up, deleting every trace of Buried Deep and marking it as foreign and a severe threat, and building some little mental trip wires, a little forward bombardment that will go off before the Trojans if Shockwave starts to dig. He pokes at anything I don't want him getting his horrible claws in, he'll get hit with a load of mental stimulus. It'll only last a nanoklik, but that's a nanoklik I can use.
If previous experience is anything to go by, I'll be in that cell again soon. He's happy again, if I needed another indicator.
Entry 106
Today was disturbing.
Some of the newer guards again. The ones Shockwave had spoken to. Like the ones from a few solar cycles ago, they tried to ignore him. He clicked his claws a bit, enjoying the tension, asked them what was the matter. They ignored him for a while, but eventually one of them couldn't take it, and snapped under the staring and the silence.
Told Shockwave he was disgusting and sick, even for a decepticon. That he hadn't known anything could be that conniving and evil, that he wasn't sure Shockwave even had a spark, that he was probably just some horrible dead thing that came from somewhere else entirely. That he couldn’t believe he was Cybertronian at all, and that he’d made all that up just for one twisted little moment he wasn’t allowed to have.
Shockwave said he was offended at his accusations. Said he found it hurtful when he'd thought they were so very close.
The guard sputtered and prepared to rant again, and one of Shockwave's guards spoke for perhaps the first time. Told the newer guard to ignore him, that he was doing exactly what Shockwave wanted. That he was being played with. And to go take a walk.
They did, and Shockwave started to make that little huffing in his vents. And then he'd laughed. It was a sick sound, and not one I'd ever like to hear again. Cold and cruel and echoing down the hall.
His guards reacted to nothing. I don't want to know how they were trained to do that.
Entry 106 - Later
Two claws.
-----
Entry 107
It's soon now. Tomorrow. One claw.
I spent the day building firewalls and defences, sticking all the worst memories and emotions I've got on file into that trip wire over my encrypted areas, and then I built a small virus. It won't do much, but hopefully it'll slow him down long enough for me to get help. I just need to get help. He's not allowed in my head, and I will not be dragged down without a fight. I refuse to be broken like that again.
He's looking at me, gloating. Confident.
I can do this. You won't get me.
You're so cocky, so happy tonight. But you won't get me. I'm not ready, I'll never be ready. But I'm going to fight you with everything I've got Shockwave. I am not one of your little lapslaves.
Entry 108
It's tonight.
He's waiting, and so am I.
I can do this. I can do this.
Creating new file - slave link created - link source hidden and encoded - source will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - confirmation code requested confirmation received Slave file - untitled Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from temporary database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
System update - all firewalls operating at full capacity - memory files locked and encoded - Trojans activated - will infect any foreign presence attempting to access forbidden files - All files and protocols not necessitated for the function of Slave file - untitled Are now under full lockdown, and will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - Cache of memory files titled Suck on this One Eye linked to transfer to any foreign entity attempting to access forbidden files - Virus locked and ready for transfer - Any files bearing title Buried Deep are hostile and will be attacked - Confirmation requested to finalise alterations - Confirmation received
Hello Shockwave.
Hello Swindle. How are you feeling tonight? That was a nice little greeting. Very agreeable.
I like that.
Shockwave, you are going to get out.
No, I think I am going to -uhn.
WARNING - Foreign presence has attempted to access encrypted files - transferring Virus - Transfer in 3...2...
Transfer interrupted.- ERROR - Virus has been immobilised and destroyed.
Oh Swindle, Swindle, Swindle. I do hope you didn't honestly believe that would work? A valiant effort, but futile. Be still now. I want to see what it is you're hiding from-
WARNING - Second attempt by foreign presence to access encrypted files - Suck on this One Eye has been transferred
Oh little bot, little bot.
That was unpleasant. And very, very unwise. You've been quite a naughty bot. And do you know what happens to naughty little bots?
WARNING - Slave file has been traced to source - remove foreign presence manually and immediately ERROR - abortive command has been overridden - remove foreign presence manually and immediately - DANGER Slave file has been corrupted by foreign presence - log has been hacked - DANGER
Naughty little bots get punished.
What have you done? Get out! GET OUT! NO! NO NO NO!
ERROR - abortive command has been overridden - remove foreign presence manually and immediately DANGER - SYSTEM HAS BEEN HACKED. IMMIDIATE ACTION NEC-
ERROR - All warning systems experiencing disturbance. Please check systems as soon as possible
GET OUT. What are you doing to me, GET OUT!
Shh shh shh. So noisy. It's much nicer in here without all those blaring little alarms. Now where were we?
Ah, yes.
Teaching you your place in the world.
What are you doing? No!
Swindle's log - New Category
You Belong To Me - Entry 1
WARNING - Log will be permanently embedded in memory core - confirmation required - Confirmation received. Log will be permanently embedded once closed
STOP IT! No! No no no! Get off, let me go, take that out, NO!
Shhhhh. I'm just giving you a little reminder. It's not going to hurt you, be still. Mm. I see you've remained tight as you were that first night. I do love how well you heal after our little amorous activities.
STOP IT! NO! NO NO NO NO! THAT'S NOT YOURS, GET OUT GET OUT!
You are my property. You exist to be taken and used as I please, you are my toy, a plaything. You will submit to my will, you will be subservient, and in time, you will be made to enjoy it. Everything you have, everything you are, belongs to me. Your place is in my lap, seated firmly over my cord. And you will like it.
What else should I add into that little lesson for you, I wonder? Mmm. I love it when you clench and shiver, do keep doing that.
GET OUT OF ME! GET OUT!
Foreign presence has been removed. Log entry 1 - category You Belong To Me will be permanently embedded once closed - Continuing Log
Foreign presence detected - Presence identified - Medic - Allowing access in 3... 2... 1...
Shh, I know you're scared. It's alright to be scared, I'm going to fix it, okay? Whatever he's done, I'm going to fix it.
Get off me! GET OFF!
I can't do that right now. I'm sorry. We can't let you up because you will run, and I need to fix you. We're going to get this out of you. I don't expect you to trust me right now, but just know that I'm not going to hurt you. Shh. You'll be okay. He's not going to get you.
GET! OUT!
Shh, it's alright, it's just me. You know me. We're just going to get this out of your processor, okay? I know this is painful for you, and you're scared, and that's okay, but I need you online right now. If you go into stasis, or I put you into stasis, that's going to be stuck in your head and I won't be able to get it out. We're almost there. Shh. It's alright, you're alright.
That's what he says! Get them off me, don't pin me like this, LET ME UP! GET OUT!
He can't get you right now. I promise, he can't get you, we've got him knocked out and we'll be removing his hacking cables as soon as I'm done with you. Sentinel Magnus is here, and he made sure he can’t get up. He can’t get you. I just have to fix this, and then you're going to have a nice stasis.
NO! No, get them off of me, get out of me, I can't! Get off me! I don't want you in here, I don't want you IN HERE! Get out of MY HEAD!
I know you don't. Shh shh shh. I'm sorry. I know you don't.
Primus, I'm so sorry
Please...please get out, get off me, get out. Just get off.
Deleting Swindle's log - New Category - You Belong To Me - Deletion command denied.... - ERROR - Medical override received - deleting Swindle's log - New Category - You Belong To Me - Deleting... deleting... deleting... File removed. Now repairing warning systems - Systems will take 2 megacycles to come back online - systems repairing - medical stimulus coding received - temporary warning systems now in place - Temporary systems will delete themselves in two megacycles
Now downloading sedation protocol - protocol will erase itself from systems in 2 megacycles - downloading... downloading... downloading....download complete. Sedation protocol initiating
Get off me. I'll kill you, I'll kill you, get off me...get off.
Shh. I got it out. You're alright. See? We're all off you. No one's holding you down.
No one's holding me down?
No one's holding you down. How are you feeling?
I'm tired. I'm afraid and I'm tired.
It's okay to be afraid. That's alright. I'm going to disconnect from you now, alright?
Yes. Get out.
Medic has been removed from systems
No one's in my head now. No one's on top of me. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm....I'm okay.
ERROR - System going into stasis - Slave file - untitled Will be automatically deleted once system is in recharge mode - Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
I’m…
I’m….