And Still He Watches Me 6
Title: And Still He Watches Me
Characters: Shockwave/Swindle
Description: non-con, sticky, disturbing, mind games galore. First person POV, from Swindle's perspective. He's locked in a cell directly across from Shockwave in the Autobot stockade. His state of mind and general well being degrades in a slow downward spiral as Shockwave amuses himself. You probably don't want to read this if you are easily disturbed.
Entry 109
I'm back in my box in the medbay again. And there's no Shockwave anywhere. Not across the hall, and not in my head. Whatever that medic did, he removed any trace that he'd ever been there, locked every back door, sealed every entrance.
I don't remember last night too well, which I'll chalk up to that sedation protocol. That's not to say I can recall nothing. I know what he-
Yeah. No, I'm not going to go there just yet. Medic set me up with some suppression software this morning when I was awake to consent to it, so we'll just leave that for now. Not going to go there. He figures I'm better off just recovering for a few solar cycles, and I am inclined to agree.
My faculties seem to be intact. Nothings damaged, my security alert systems are back to functioning, and my log is full of things that I have put in there. Nothing else.
I took some relaxants with my ration today, and it feels like they're kicking in. Right. I'll muse some more on this later.
Entry 110
Can't stand just yet, but I'm a bit better from yesterday. Medic said he wants me to keep resting, since I'm exhausted and I can't heal as well as he'd like when my systems are running half-cocked. Apparently Shockwave did quite a number on my valve to cover up when I trying to push him off. Sure I got fingered a bit, but he still jammed it in before he should have.
I take a certain black glee in knowing I pissed him off enough to make him break form. It's only because of the suppression software, otherwise I'd probably still be screaming, but right now I just puke. Thank you suppression software. Should have got some of this for myself stellar cycles ago.
I'm a little... let's say giddy, as a side effect though. Medic says as the coding eliminates itself, I'll have a better recall of that night, but it'll trickle in slowly so I can deal with it a piece at a time. That sounds doable.
Big blue oaf and little red slagger have tried to sneak by a few times this solar cycle to check on me, but I still catch them at it. Especially the big guy. Magnus? Seriously? Medic said he got Shockwave pretty good for me though, so I suppose I shouldn't mock him too much. He's not the brightest of bulbs, but he knows how to fight.
Mm. Relaxants kicking in again. Time for a stasis nap.
Entry 111
Suppression software started to degrade today. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all. I'm glad I let the medic administer it, I don't know how I would have coped with this all at once. I wonder if that's what Shockwave did to his collection? Probably. Sick piece of scrap. I'm bad news, who am I kidding, but Shockwave? Horror stories don't do him justice.
And I can talk again, did I mention that? I doubt it, my mind was a bit scrambled. Muter’s gone, and I didn't even know. Medic showed up a few cycles before the coping software was scheduled to begin it's slow removal. He said he wanted to be here in case I needed him, asked if he could sit down on the berth next to me. I gave him a pointed look and gestured to the chair. Thanks doc, I'm grateful and all, but that's too close.
Anyway, programming starts its little backward withdrawal right on schedule, and it hit me a bit hard. I'm getting some proper recharge time again, so I'm starting to be able to school my expressions properly, but that was a whole lot to deal with. Medic started to get up, usual guilty look in his optics but I waved him off, made him sit down again. He looked like he was going to hold me to his chassis, like someone straight off assembly. I'm not an autobot, I deal with this slag on my own thank you. After a few more cycles, I processed the emotions and fear that passed through me, and I adjusted. It was hard, but like I said, doable. Little bit at a time.
We sat in silence for a bit, and the medic was looking at me a bit funny, so I shrugged, raised my hands, "What?" He told me to try saying something. I glared. That wasn't funny. He leaned back, looking pleased with himself, and told me to try it. Doctor's orders. I pointed at the door, "Get out," but he wouldn't. Just sat there grinning.
So I gave him another black look, and slowly and carefully said "Go suck on a tail pipe." And he laughed. And I sat there in shock, because really, I hadn't expected anything to come out. After another few cycles, he coaxed me into saying more, and eventually I'm just sitting there babbling out familiar phrases to myself, thrilled and elated and unable to think, just talking. Big blue and chinly was trying to peek at us from a little down the hall, but as usual, he's a colossal failure at being sneaky so I caught him. Told him to go frag himself and I laughed. He couldn't hear me, soundproofed room and all, but he could see my expression and his face just lit up and he spun on his heel and hurried off somewhere. Came back with the minibot, pointed at me and started talking. The minibot smiled a bit, but never full on grinned. Whatever. I could talk.
When I'd finally settled down, the medic explained what had gone on. Apparently only the medic who put in the muter is allowed to approve its removal. He'd wanted to take it out as soon as he'd heard about it, but neither his superior nor his colleague would agree to it. After my last visit with Shockwave, he'd gone back to them and informed them he'd be removing it anyway. His superior threatened a court martial, told him he was being insubordinate. That I agitated other prisoners when I could talk, and that was a danger to the guards on duty in that hall.
So my medic came back with the Magnus (still can't comprehend that, I mean look at him), and he tore a strip of paint off the pair of them. Apparently I've been capable of speech for the past three days, and the medic only told me now because he's technically supposed to wait for a patient to discover it on their own. I'd been mum for so long I just didn't think to try.
I've got no one to talk to most of the time, but still. I can!
Swindle's back in business baby!
Entry 112
I've been getting enough recharge again. I won't be competing in any marathons, but I can walk a bit. I have no big looming monster staring at me from across the hall. I have my voice back, and with it, my confidence. All this means I can think.
And if I can think, I can negotiate. And I have realised I have something pretty potent to negotiate with.
I could kick myself in the skidplate for not realising this sooner, but then I wasn't exactly in peak condition. I'm still not, but I'm better than I've been in a long time. A long, long time.
I was going over what the suppression software was releasing to me today, when the medic was here. He said he's going to show up for each scheduled release, and that if I want to talk about it to make it easier to cope with, he's ready to listen. I told him thank you, but no. I'll take care of myself. He advised against that, but let me tough it out, and when it was over he left. He'd already done the examination on the rest of me, he always makes a point of doing that before I get the sensations of Shockwave eased back into my head, I've never had to tell him I didn't want to be touched afterwards. I suppose that's just common sense on his part.
Back on topic, I'm getting side-tracked.
I decided to examine all my sessions with Shockwave today, and I had a revelation. When I'd finished puking (still can’t think about that last time too much), I considered it. In particular, Shockwave's blackmail threat to tell his secretary that I'd provided him with some of his more heinous contraptions and tools. I can't deny some knowledge of what they'd be used for; there's only so many bots that'll fit in things that small. I didn't know exactly what he was doing, but I'm not naive, I knew who they were for.
But here's the thing Shockwave didn't consider when he reminded me of my part in his little torture games; I sold him those things. Specifically, I had to send them to him. And I know where they were delivered.
Is that where some of his collections are? Who knows. I don't, but the minibot doesn't know that either. And I'm willing to bet that's more than Shockwave has provided for information at this point. Why else would he keep giving me to him when it causes him so much anguish?
I'm no fool, I know this isn't enough to get me out of here. Like I've said before, my life isn't worth that many of their own, especially whe
n they can see them suffering on a live camera feed. But it's a pede in the door.
Entry 113
Told the medic I needed to speak to the minibot today. He was dubious, and I can't really blame him, considering what happened last time I was in a cell with the little oilstain. I told him he could go ahead and stasis cuff me before hand if he liked. Hell, strap me down, but I needed to talk to him. This was a bluff, of course. I can’t take being restrained right now.
Luckily for me, that wasn’t a problem. They didn't strap me down. Didn't even stasis cuff me, but they weren't stupid enough to send the minibot in alone. He came in with a pair of guards, and the big blue chin-bot. To be honest, I was intimidated, since I'm still not comfortable around mechs who are considerably larger than myself, and it will be a long, long time before I am again. I fought it down and made my offer.
Made it very carefully, I might add. Made a point to state I did not know exactly what Shockwave was doing with what I'd sold him, and that I had refused to sell him specific items. I'm low, and I'm dirty, but there are things I do not do.
Told them I was sorry for the pain I was causing, and that though I still hated them for it, I could comprehend their difficult position. Then I told them about what I knew, and that I was willing to make an exchange for it.
A few nanokliks of very intense silence followed. I fought back the urge to fidget. Big blue bot started to say something, but the minibot held up his hand to silence him. And we waited, and he thought. He thought and made the other guy be quiet, I should say. Titanium bearings on that one, telling someone that above his station to shut up.
He asked what I wanted in exchange.
I prepared to haggle. I knew this game. Demand high, and whittle it down to something they think is reasonable, and hopefully still come out on top.
So I say I want out, but I know they won't do that. Big blue guy goes very still and nods, but looks away from me, refusing my meet my optics. Minibot, on the other hand, keeps looking right back at me, so I continue.
I know they won't let me go immediately, but once they've found half the bots on camera, I want out. Further more, I want a cell away from Shockwave for a deca-cycle following each violation. If they're going to be handing me to him on a silver platter (minibot winced at that, big guy looked like he wanted to puke), I at least want to be free from him long enough to recuperate. I want those suppressants before and after any time I am handed to him. I want a guarentee that he will never get into my head again, and the minibot or the big guy will personally watch what occurs each time to ensure this. (More wincing. I took some satisfaction in that. If you're going to make me suffer, I'm going to make you slagging well watch you've done). My barrier will be opaque for the entirety of every second solar cycle. No one is ever to put a muting device in me again, ever. And finally, when they release me, I want access to a number of locations that are usually guarded by their faction, and my merchandise back. Half of what they found in my personal transwarp dimension wasn't even loot from their ship.
And the minibot agrees.
No haggling, no thinking about it. He just says yes.
I'm speechless. So's the big blue guy. We're both staring at him a bit dumbfounded, when he holds up a finger. My tanks dropped.
He wants all those minibots out.
I tell him I can't wait that long.
He says he's sorry, but those are his terms.
I was about to tell him to leave, when he held up his finger again.
Said he'd add one more thing to what I was getting out of the deal. He'd make Shockwave forget he'd ever done anything to me. That he could make it so that it was like this whole thing had never happened.
I had to think about it. He said that was fine, and they left.
He came back a few cycles ago for my answer.
We have a deal.
------
Entry 114
So yesterday I made a deal. I haven't done that since... slag, since I traded information with con on the left. And it was such an easy deal. I wasn't expecting the minibot to just up and agree to all that. We were haggling, wheeling and dealing, I thought, so I demanded way more than I thought I'd ever get. Laid on the empathy as thick as I could without choking on it, lied through my denta, and made demands that were almost, but not quite, too outrageous to be met.
The most I thought I'd get was a blacked out cell once a deca-cycle, a few days in the medbay following my scheduled assault and maaaybe some of my merchandise back when they let me out. If I was really lucky, no threat of being muted hanging over my helm. The 'no more Shockwave in my head thing' was already a given; he's not supposed to have been going in there in the first place. I just put that in to make it seem like I didn't know as much as I do about my position. Make them feel superior in the deal.
But instead of any of that, he just... agreed. Deals don't work like this. I mean, he added the stipulation that I'm stuck here until they get all their bots out, but I knew that was going to happen, though getting out early was one of the things I was going to try to wheedle them for the hardest. Slag, I'd drop all the rest of my conditions if I could just get out of here sooner than later. Even that little extra of having Shockwave forget he'd ever been-
I mean, from their perspective, it's a stupid deal. A deca-cycle in a cell away from Shockwave after he's done with me? They already give me ten solar-cycles to recuperate. I checked. If they keep pacing their negotiations with him the way they have been, the only time I'll have to see him is when he- yeah. And making them watch? A part of me still thinks that was a stupid idea, but there's another part that's viciously pleased that they have to face what they're doing in such a personal way.
And all my merchandise back, seriously? I stole half of that from them!
Overall, I am thrilled, yet suspicious. I want to chalk all this up to their enormous (and wholly justified) sense of guilt, but my programming won't let me.
What are they up to? Nothing is that easy.
Entry 115
Heard some muffled yelling down the hall today, but couldn't see what was going on. Didn't really have to. Medic came storming in to check up on me and wait out the last part of the suppression software deleting itself. Only thing out of place was how quiet and angry he was, and the fact he was early.
The last bit of the terror that Shockwave pulled on me passed through my memory core, and it was probably the worst I've gotten back, but all the previous days had me prepared. Did take me longer to recover, and I puked, which was a first for this, but then it was over. I took a few deep vents to calm my sensors and clear my head, stabilised myself. And then the medic and I just sat there for awhile. I thought he was just making sure I was alright. I wish that were the case.
After the silence had gotten uncomfortable, I asked him what was going on. He tried to start a few times, and had to stop himself, clenched his fists and looked away, furious. I waited.
Apparently I'm seeing Shockwave tonight, in his solitary confinement cell. He gets two nights for every piece of information he shares, and he's demanding his second one. Says he should really be getting one and a half, but he'll let that go, since he was bending the rules.
He'll let that go. How generous.
And they're giving it to him, since this particular piece of information will give them one of his larger stashes.
The medic said that my deal with the secretary has been discussed with him, but he advises against installing more suppression software prior to the event. Apparently it's only intended to help a patient cope with trauma after the fact; it needs something pre-existing to subdue. If he gives it to me now all it will accomplish is making me giddy and less alert. And neither of us want that.
I ask him what other options I have, and he says he's still got that sedative he’d previously offered me. I didn’t even dignify that with a reply, so he gave me a pointed look, and asked how different I really thought that was from what I'd been using before. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, and he started listing off examples of what he thought I could be utilising. Said he didn't know exactly what I'd had installed, but could recognise the signs. Lack of resistance, dazed appearance, weakness of the joints. He'd known I had something running to subdue my processor from that first night, but hadn't said anything. Was only bringing it up now because he didn't want me going in there again with nothing.
I'd rather go in there with my full mental capacity intact and suffer though it all, than have something manipulating me at the same time those claws are manipulating my body.
And then we sat again in silence. He said he'd be there to take care of whatever he could when I got out.
I've got half a megacycle.
Creating new file - slave link created - link source hidden and encoded - source will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - confirmation code requested confirmation received Slave file - untitled Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from temporary database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
System update - all firewalls operating at full capacity - memory files locked and encoded - Trojans activated - will infect any foreign presence attempting to access forbidden files - All files and protocols not necessitated for the function of Slave file - untitled Are now under full lockdown, and will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - Any files bearing title Buried Deep are hostile and will be attacked - Confirmation requested to finalise alterations - Confirmation received
We're going down the elevator now.
Shockwave's at the bottom.
I am not afraid. I have had worse.
No I haven't. Not like this. But I can do this. He's not getting at my mind. And I'm locked tight. The medic made sure of that last time. I will be okay. He's going to frag me. It will hurt. But he can't get in my mind. He can't break in, and he can't get me.
I can deal with this.
It's such a long way down. Like going to the centre of a smelting pit. Sure feels like that's where I'm headed.
The door is opening. I don't want to leave the elevator. Left pede, right pede, left pede, right pede. You are not afraid. Don't make them drag you. Walk. Have dignity. Left, right, left, right. Primus, it’s quiet down here. I wonder which-
Oh. That's the one. I've seen those guards before. Deep intake. Deep intake. In, out, in, out.
It's just for a little while, and then you have a deca-cycle away. It's not forever. In, out, in, out.
That's just the door. They just locked the door. That's all. They just locked it. They just locked you in with Shockwave.
Don't panic. Don't panic. You can do this. Talk your way through it. You will be alright. He can't get you. He can't get you. See, there's the minibot, and those two guards from that night he first got inside your processor. They'll catch him at it. Remember? They didn't let him stick his claw in your mouth.
I think telling the minibot he had to be here was a bad idea. I don't want anyone to watch this.
Don't look at him, look somewhere else, look at the- they're taking him out of his restraints. Oh Primus. Oh Primus. In, out. In, out. In, out.
Command issued to mute vocalizer - Confirmation required - Confirmation received. Vocalizer muting in 3... 2... 1...
He's going to touch you now. It's okay to flinch. He's horrible. He's coming toward you, and he's going to touch you and hurt you, but you can do this. Don't look at him. Don't look at the minibot. Look at the wall. Don't drag your pedes. You're going to go sit down, but don't drag your pedes.
Okay. Different. Different is frightening, but he can't get in your head. You don't have to talk to him. You can talk, but he doesn't know that. You know something he doesn't. Enjoy that. Your thoughts are your own, and you know something he doesn't.
Why is he sitting but leaving me standing? Oh. Okay, that. That makes sense. He wants to look at me first. And he wants to talk to me. At me. He doesn't know I can talk. I'm not going to talk to him. Enjoy that. You know something he does not.
Apparently he's not angry with me. That's nice. That just fixes everything then, doesn't it? He says he expected me to show some resistance. Oh. Oh no. He's pulling me into his chassis. I don't want to- no!
That was both embarrassing and dumb. You had nowhere to run you idiot, and his limbs stretch. How did you think that was going to end? And you wound up in his arms anyway. Okay, I'm not going to panic again. Bite it down, swallow it. He's just holding you right now. He's just holding you and scratching at your neck and your helm. It's disturbing, but it doesn't hurt. Don't humiliate yourself further by struggling.
What is he-?
Oh no.
Oh no no.
That's not fair.
Don't look at the minibot. Look at the-
He wants you to look at the minibot. Offline your optics. He can't make you open those.
I can still feel him looking at me. I know he's looking at me. Well this is your own slagging fault, I hope you feel like a scrap heap.
Don't open your optics, oh Primus, don't open your optics- and he's starting. Okay, let's- let's just go over this. He's leaning on the wall, and you are in his lap, your back pressed tight to his chassis. The both of us are facing the minibot and the guards. Let's look at the positives here. If he tries anything he's not supposed to, they'll definitely pick up on it immediately.
And they have such a lovely view of your interface panel, especially your port, now that Shockwave has your leg hiked up. He's not holding my head though, so maybe I can-
No. No, he's making you look again. Just keep your optics off. He's still making himself watch, but you don't have to watch him while he watches you. Just don't think about it. Think about all that inventory you'll be getting ba-AH! Okay. That was a sensitive area. That was a very sensit-Ahn! And that was the rim of your valve, and now-haaa. Now he's got one claw in and one circling around just inside. Oh Primus that's horrible. Oh Primus. I hate you. I hate you.
Ha!
Okay, what now? Where did the claws go? Is he just going to start fragging me, because it looks like he's trying to punish me and the minibot simultaneously. There's something touching me, but it doesn't feel like his cord. It's too thin. What is he-
No! NO NO NO!
It's okay, the guards are coming over, they saw you panic, they saw the cables. It's okay, you're okay, it's okay. He's touching you now. He's just rubbing your legs, those are his claws, he stopped the cables.
What is he talking about? What else would someone use a long prehensile cable like that for-
Oh. Oh that's disgusting. He didn't, they're not-
No, he just fessed up to it, and the guards are checking. That's disgusting, but I should have seen that coming, really. You knew he liked them tiny, smaller than he could penetrate, and you knew that the mod existed. Why wouldn't he get some installed?
At least they're in his forearms and not his interface panel.
Okay. It's not a hacking cable. The guards just checked. They've got rubber tips. He's going to stick them in you, get rea-Ha!
Okay, that feels really bizarre-Oh. Oh. Okay, that's a second one. The minibot's saying something. Okay, it's just going to be two. That's all he gets to use. That's it. That’s all. Oh Primus, he's moving them. They're wiggling. Oh Primus, oh slag, oh slag, oh SLAG. Ah. Ha, ha, ah. AHN!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
The-Ah! They vibrate. Tha-that's wonderful. They vibrate. Oh Primus, think about someth-Ah! I can't thi-ink! Just ride it out. Don't look across the room, don't listen to Shockwave, just ride it out. Oh!-o-Kay! Ju-just ride it-
AH! Ahhhhhhn, ahhhn, oh, oh Primus. Oh PRIMUS. AH! AH! AH!
Ahhhh! Oh, oh, oh stop. I just, I ju-Ah! I overloaded, take them out, stop. Ah, ah, ah, okay, they're not vibrating anymore, you still tingle all over and you're still hyper sensitive, but they're not vibrating. They're just pushing around and wiggling while he touches you all over.
That's all.
Ha.
Ah.
Ah.
Oh, that's sensitive. Stop pinching tha-hat! Oh, oh, not again. Not while he's watching. Not while he's- AH! Ah! Ooooh! Ohhhh Primus, oh! You're going to overload again, just let it happen, just ride it out. Don't think about the mess you're making, don't think about where you are. You ca-Ah! Ah! Ah! You can talk, he doesn't know that. You kno-Oh! Oh! Ah! You know something he does-doesn't. Ah!
PRIMUS!
Hah, hah, ah, ah, hah.
Ah-and they’re coming out now.
That... that sounded disgusting. Plop. I should not make a plop.
Ah. Almost done. Primus I'm tired. Okay, he's moving you now. We're both moving. Oh good. Oh thank- thank you. We're turning away from the minibot for this. Well, we're turning- oh, that pulled on something. Ow. We're side-on. I don't have to see him. I don't want to know someone else is watching this happen. Stupid, Swindle. Stupid stupid stup-AH!
Oh, he's big. Oh he's big. Ah! Ah! Ah!
He's so hot, so hot. He's on top of me and pushing down on me and he's so hot. AH!
That was fast. That was good. Fast is good. Ugh, there's his usual mess. He's sitting down again. Almost done. See? You did it. You did it. He's already got his cord out of you and everything. He's just holding you now. He's just scratching your neck and rubbing your leg and holding you.
Wait, what?
"Be wary, little one. Autobots lie."
What? What does that mean? What is he talking about?
We're done? Oh good, we're done. But what was he-stop that, I'll walk.
Frag, frag-
File complete. Now deleting Slave file - untitled Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
Entry 115 - Later
What the slag did that mean? "Autobots lie?" Oh course they lie, everyone lies.
He's messing with me again. I know he is. But what does he mean? Why would be he cryptic about it if he wanted to torment me? I can't make any sense of it. He doesn't have to worry about me trusting them, in any case. After this incarceration, that's not really an issue.
Medic was still livid when we got back. Didn't direct any of that at me though.
I walked out of Shockwave's cell under my own power, but I couldn't hold it after they shut the door on his cell. Still wouldn't let them carry me though, so they just sort of hoisted me along while I stumbled. By the time we got back I was a shivering mess from the pain. And I wouldn't let the medic touch me either. I'm calm now, but I wasn't then. Told him to get out and not touch me. That I just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t say anything, just left the numbing stuff on the berth along with a relaxant. Then he quietly closed the door and dragged the minibot down the hall, to yell at him, I presume.
I just sat on the berth and held myself, feeling disgusting. The medic came back a bit later, just sat and waited for me to give him the okay and did what needed to be done. I skipped the relaxant but took a quarter dose of the suppressant.
When we were done, I asked him to get the minibot.
He's not going to watch from inside the cell anymore. Turns out he's been making himself watch from a security camera anyway. Fine by me. That was a stupid decision on my part, based more on revenge than common sense. The mech and femme who were there tonight are staying though. They won't let Shockwave get away with anything.
Tonight was horrible, but at least I know I can handle this now.
I can do this.
I will get out of this.
Slag it. I can't recharge. "Autobots lie?"
------
Entry 116
So. Back to not being able to stand. In hindsight, insisting I be allowed to walk back to the medbay wasn't a bright move. Especially since the goal was not to be touched anymore than I needed to be, or feel weak and dominated. So instead of being picked up and cradled by one guard, I get two of them with their arms around my backstrut and torso and moving in to catch me every three steps when my legs give out. As an added bonus, the trip back takes an endless and painful amount of time, and I'm being crowded by intimidatingly large mechs for the duration. Brilliant.
At least I walked out of the cell with some dignity intact. I managed not to collapse until they cranked on the locks. And the medic tells me the damage isn't as bad as he was afraid it'd be. That Shockwave, always so very gentle. I really should thank him one of these days.
Speaking of; "Autobots lie." I've been puzzling over that. Fine, yes, they lie. Okay. But what is he referring to specifically? He can't know about the deal I made, his secretary wouldn't be stupid enough to tell him that. Did he figure it out on his own? Possibly. He may have offered information and been told they wanted to know something else. Which they wouldn't do unless they'd been previously informed.
And who else would have told them that?
Shockwave's not stupid. It's entirely possible he's deduced something, but it’s impossible for him to know something that specific. Maybe he's just playing off a general knowledge of me, things he knows I'd do. I am a dealmaker, why wouldn't I test those skills here?
I want to believe that's all it is so badly. But I can't. Something feels off. But slag it, what is it?
Entry 117
Still not walking. Medic wants me to recharge for most of the day, like I did yesterday, but I'm paranoid now. Suspicious. Nothing's out of the ordinary, nothing is new. I think Shockwave's getting to me, which irritates me because he's not even here. This is supposed to be my little rape-free vacation, and he's still ruining it for me.
"Autobots lie."
I've been going over the deal, and nothing seems off there. I'm away from Shockwave, I've got the suppression software if I want it, the minibot watched like I asked him to, though that is no longer a condition based on mutual agreement. Time will tell if the muter comes back in, though I doubt they'll inflict that on me again. The only other things they can double cross me on are keeping me imprisoned for the entirety of my sentence, or not making Shockwave forget about me, and they put that one on the table.
Entry 117 - Later
Went over our deal again. I keep doing that, trying to see what I missed, what loophole they're using. The oaf snuck by to check on me while I was doing that, and I remembered his shock at the secretary's agreeing to my terms.
Which could mean nothing, maybe he was just surprised for the same reasons I was. No haggling, and agreeing with the first terms I laid out. But maybe he'd been anticipating a counter offer.
Which means they were planning on something else.
Something that may still be in progress.
I've got no proof of this, but medic's been quiet lately. He gets very quiet when he's feeling extra guilty.
I'm worried.
Entry 118
Something is going on.
Medic did his usual examination, and when he finished the minibot was in the hall. Wanted to speak to him.
Whatever the little guy said, my medic completely flew off the handle. Gesticulated a very obvious 'no!', slashed his hands across each other, shook his head hard. Minibot started to say something else, and he sagged, ran a servo over his face, looked up at the ceiling. His back was to me, and I couldn't see much of the minibot past him, but it was clear there was some serious discussion going on. Alot of nodding from the medic after awhile, until something else set him off and he looked like he was going to remove his medic symbol. Which is when the oaf comes into view, surprising everyone else. Grabs the medic's servo, stops him. The oaf is the only one facing me, and he looks pained. My medic jabs him in the chest with a finger, makes more 'no' gestures, lifts his servos to his face in a clawing position, shaking. Starts saying something else, more ‘no’s’. The oaf takes a brief glance at me, and his face; I know I look like I belong in a junkyard by now, but so did he. Looked like complete scrap, like he hadn't recharged in solar cycles. Our optics met and he looked like he would just fall apart at the seams.
We held that glance for a few kliks, and the medic noticed. Looked back at me, then pointed down the hall. They moved out of my sight, and that's the last I saw of them.
He came to check on me not long ago. I asked him what was going on.
He won't talk to me. Just tells me not to worry about it, and get some stasis.
Entry 119
I need to get out of here. Whatever is going on, I can't figure it out, and it’s not good.
I can barely walk, but I need to get out of here.
I didn't try asking the medic anything today, didn't even talk to him much. I did ask to speak to the minibot and the big guy though. Medic said no, but I demanded until he relented. They came by with two guards again, purely for the sake of protocol since I'm no threat to the secretary if the oaf Magnus is present, especially not when I can't even make it around my room without using the wall.
I asked them what was going on. Said we had a deal, that I'd given them all the information I had.
The minibot agreed. I had, and they were grateful. Half of the locations I'd given them had proven fruitless, but had provided clues and suspects they could question. Some of the other locations were more remote and rescue crews hadn't reached them yet, but they were hopeful, since they seemed to match up with what clues could be gleaned from the live feeds. And a few locations had actually had minibots in them. They were on their way home.
He said again how grateful they were, and how much they owed me.
So give me an answer, I said. What's going on?
Nothing that wasn't in the deal, says the minibot.
The tension in the room the whole time was thick, sickening.
What are they doing?
Entry 120
Tried to make a break for it today. It did not go well.
Shoulder-checked the medic when he came through the door, and took him completely by surprise. Got past him and I bolted. Put myself in alot of pain, but I made it to the doors of the medbay before the guards were on me. Didn't know I could run that fast. Or fight that hard. I think I cracked one of their optics.
Woke up back in my box, and haven't seen anyone since. They didn't even bother to restrain me to the berth. Guess they don't really have much to worry about, I won't be running anywhere for a while. I think I tore something that had been beginning to heal. Medic must have numbed it while I was out, because I'm not in any pain, my body just gives out when I try to walk around.
So I'm lying here, alone and getting pretty scared.
"Nothing that wasn't in the deal."
"Autobots lie."
I'm thinking they don't. I'm thinking I missed something very important.
------
Entry 121
I can't figure this out, but I need to. I just keep going over it all again and again and coming up with nothing.
I've got the suppression software. This is day six away from Shockwave, so it seems I still get that. I've been doing alot of yelling, but no one's done anything about that either, so the agreement about the muter is still in place.
But they're planning something. I know they are. I keep seeing the oaf. He's worse looking now then he was. Other bots keep shooing him out, and he's pretty unresisting about it.
I'm babbling. It's because I'm scared. I always go on tangents when I'm nervous. Back to business.
They won't kill me. That much I'm sure of. I'm still the only bargaining chip they have with Shockwave, and they won't give me to him for keeps either, because then what would they have to offer? No, I was afraid it would be something like that, but that's completely counterintuitive.
So what about what they offered me? Making him forget. Why would they renege on that? They brought it up. Is it something in how they'll make him forget?
Slag it.
Medic is still no help. Spent alot of extra time with me this morning, apparently I did myself alot of damage yesterday. Can't say I was agreeable about letting him do what needed to be done. I no longer trust him, and he said he knew as much without me saying it, but that he promised never to be the one that hurt me.
Fair enough. As long as we both know where we stand. Or lay, in my case.
Entry 122
Oaf came in at an early hour this morning, way before the medic ever shows. I don't think he's supposed to be in here, but really, who's going to tell the Magnus no?
He wanted to thank me again for divulging the information I had. I told him I hadn't divulged it, they'd bought it off me. He said that was fine, but all the same, he'd wanted to thank me. They'd gotten the first batch of Shockwave's collection back four solar cycles ago. Come to think of it, that's when he started looking like complete scrap.
Which makes alot of sense, with what he told me next.
Apparently there were seven of them at that location. Most of them tiny, smaller than the secretary, and one that was unusually large. That one couldn't walk, and unlike most of the rest, did not whimper or cry or protest much. Looked frightened, but dull. Empty. They think he may have been there the longest. They're working on reconfiguring his internals as I log this. Putting them all back to where they should be.
I asked him why he was telling me this. He said he felt it was important I knew who I'd helped. And on he went.
The littler ones, by the sound of it, were the ones that have been haunting him so much. He went to visit them personally when they came in, and they cowered from him. Hid their faces against each other, and a few thrashed around where they were restrained to their berths. Apparently those ones kept trying to run away or hide from their medics. He didn't know what to do, was struck pretty speechless. Eventually two of them came over to him, quivering, and nuzzled apprehensively into his thigh, rubbing their faces into his servo. When he moved out of their range, the smallest of the two started to whimper, and the second one sort of hushed him, held him. Then he looked at the oaf, frightened and placating, and started to... perform on his friend. The oaf moved to stop them, which made the little one cry more, and confused the bigger one.
The medics told him it was probably best he leave. He didn't think he could take any more of that anyway, so he did. Didn't even realise until half a megacycle later that the two little ones that had come up to him had had their wheels and shoulder armour removed. And none of them actually spoke. Just made little noises, like drones or animals.
He went quiet for a long while after that.
I asked him to leave.
He said he just wanted me to know that they were doing all they could for those minibots, and that he was grateful for what I'd done. And sorry for what they were making me do. That I was doing a service for my fellow bots that could never properly be repaid.
You’re not my fellow bot. Don't kid yourself.
Entry 123
Whatever they're doing, they're doing it soon.
New bots looking at me today. Nerdy looking, probably scientists. One of them was tall, skinny, some kind of lenses over his optics. He studied me like something under glass to be dissected, creepy and emotionless. His friend was a little better. He at least had the decency to look ashamed.
I've got no way out. I don't know what they're going to do, and I've got no way out.
Entry 123 - Later
I'm strapped to a berth in some part of the medbay I've never seen before. The two bots from earlier are in here, along with some others. The medic came to see me before they came. Told me not to be afraid. Told me he'd be there when I got out. Told me he was sorry.
I hope his intakes rust.
I fought again when they came to collect me, I knew it was futile, but I did it anyway. They knocked me out, and I woke up here.
They've got a bunch of cables hooked into my processor, and they've got the whole thing open. I don't know what they're going to do. Pretty sure they've got me drugged on something too. I shouldn't be this calm.
There's an observation deck above us. I can see the oaf and the minibot watching. They don't look too happy.
They can go rust too. We had a deal.
The two scientists are fiddling with something now. I can't see what they're doing, but I feel odd, I'm not sure what-ERROR
Higher functions are offline. Functions will resume once editing process is complete.
Remain calm
Entry 9 - Error - Entry 9 - Category Stockaide imprisonment Already exists - ERROR - Correction - error has been made, Log Entry 9 Has no pre-existing copy - Resuming log function in 3... 2... 1...
Well that was odd. I'll chalk that up to being in stasis for so long while they shuffled us around. I mean economically speaking, it makes sense, you don't have to fuel a bunch of prisoners while they're in a complete stasis lock, but now my chronometer is all screwed up. Not to mention I caught a glimpse of myself on the way down here, and I look like garbage. That prolonged stasis really did a number on me.
Weird medic too. Sad looking sack of cogs. Kept asking me if I was alright, how I was feeling. Checked all my joints and processor functions. All pretty normal for a maintenance check, but then he asked me to lay back so he could check my valve. Thanks, but no thanks doc. I'm still a bit sore, but that's just overkill for an after stasis maintenance check. I mean really, my valve?
I should probably describe my new arrangement. I am by far the smallest con down here, from what I can see, which frankly, isn't much. All the cells adjacent to my own are too wide for me to see the occupants. Only one I can see really, is right across from me. Ol' one eye himself, Shockwave. He always was a creepy fragger but today he's being down right unnerving. Keeps asking me really strange questions and being very personal. I've ignored him so far.
Good client, but he's giving me the creeps. He was always a little off, but this is a bit much. Maybe it’s because he's bored. I've taken to keeping my back to him. My cell has some kind of privacy setting where the barrier is dark and more opaque, and I gotta say I'm grateful. I don't think anyone else has one, so it’s probably just to make up for sticking me down here with all the high risk cons.
Speaking of which, one of my immediate neighbours is really creeping me out. Probably more than Shockwave at this point. Keeps making really weird little noises to himself, and I think he's masturbating with his valve. Kept talking to me when Shockwave was escorted out for what I think was interrogation. Told me he missed me, asked where I'd gone.
Clearly captivity has not been beneficial to his processor.
On the upside, the two guards I had today were friendly, if strange. Seemed happy I would talk to them, asked when I'd gotten my voice back. I told them I wasn't aware I'd lost it, and they looked at me a little strangely, then at each other and changed the subject.
Does this hall just make processors start fritzing or what?
Entry 10
More strangeness from Shockwave.
No opaque barrier this morning, and I woke up to him staring at me. This was awkward, to say the least, so I asked if there was something I could help him with. Not a weird thing to say, just something to break the ice.
He looked like someone had whacked him in the back of the head, absolutely gob-smacked. So I said it again, "Shockwave, what can I do for you?"
He's speechless. He tilts his head, studying me from one angle then another. Stares at the two guards who are there for the sole reason of watching his cell (higher security for higher-ranked cons, I figure), and just keeps staring at me. He doesn't have much in the way of expressions, but he still managed to convey shock pretty well.
And then I hear this weird huffing sound coming from Shockwave. This continues for a bit until he throws his head back and laughs. And this laugh was well, awful. Not pleasant at all. And he did it for a long time. Heard my creeper neighbour shudder against the wall. And when he'd finished laughing, Shockwave just looked at me like I was a cool cube of high grade for the rest of the day. Didn't say a word.
On second thought, that wasn't so much strange as it was horrifying.
Entry 9 - Error - Entry 9 - Category Stockaide imprisonment Already exists - ERROR - Correction - error has been made, Log Entry 9 Has no pre-existing copy - Resuming log function in 3... 2... 1...
Fragging stasis always messes with my log banks. Memory files too, considering I don't even remember being put into a stasis pod in the first place. Physically speaking, I'm a bit stiff and my backstrut’s sore, but otherwise I'm alright. Got a little check up with a medic before hand too, just to ensure everything was in working order. Considerate bot, if disturbed looking. Doesn't seem like he catches much recharge, could probably stand to do some time in that pod himself. Nice enough mech though, even told me to just tell the guards if I ever needed him.
New cell arrangement is roomy, if not neighbourly. I can't really see anyone but Shockwave, who's directly in front of me.
Keeps staring at me like he wants something. Weird, weird mech. I knew there was a reason I never did deals with him in person.
At least I'm out of reach.
Swindle's log - New Category
You need to know about this - Entry 1
WARNING - Log will be permanently embedded in memory core - confirmation required - Confirmation received. Log will be permanently embedded once closed
System update - this log entry will be hidden in memory banks, and locked from all outside sources. To access this encrypted file, use password - Beware One Eye - Commencing Log
Do not forget this. Do not lose this.
You are in the Autobot stockaide, and tonight, they are going to do something to you. They have done this before, but I have no idea how many times. Whatever it is, it will leave you with no memory of what has transpired, and what they have done.
They are using you in a deal with Shockwave. They make you forget, and then they give you to him again, and he hurts you. He hurts you and he uses you and he treats you like a pleasure drone. They only allow him to rape you about once every few decacycles, but you wind up in his cell once every few solar cycles regardless, and he makes you sit in his lap while he touches you, talks to you. As far as he is concerned, you are his property.
You are not his property. Never forget that.
There is a little minibot with horns. Formerly Shockwave's secretary. He's the one doing the bartering. Your life for some captives Shockwave has hidden.
One day, you will kill him.
Remember that, and remember to beware of Shockwave. If you ever guess the password, if you ever have reason to figure this password out, you'll know why.
Beware the one eye.
Completing Swindle's log - New Category - You need to know about this - Confirmation requited - Confirmation received - Permanently embedding file in 3... 2...
File embedded and encrypted
ERROR
Higher functions are offline. Functions will resume once editing process is complete.
Remain calm
------Epilogue
Swindle's log - New Category
Back to Business - subcategory - Erox 324 - Entry 1
Primus bless Autobots. Stupid, stupid Autobots. Sure, they set up a whole slew of problems for a black market salesmech like myself, but then they turn around and do the most gullible scrap you've ever seen.
Gotta love ‘em.
I sent a transmission to a client that got intercepted oh...huh, not sure how long ago, my chronometer's all messed up. But anyway, I call up a particular client to make a sale, and get snatched up by an elite guard ship. Turns out they'd hacked his frequency. They put me in stasis for the trip here, which is pretty standard practice for a journey that long while carrying unanticipated prisoners, but then I got kept in stasis when they got here. Apparently the whole Decepticon Autobot war is at a turning point, and they're grabbing cons left, right and centre.
Very bad for business, that. I can always change the ol' faction symbol and trade to Autobots and neutrals, but they're just not the same kind of clientele. Not enough bloodlust in most of them.
But I digress.
They finally decided I wasn't enough of a threat to be worth keeping, and woke me up from stasis. Can't say the prolonged nap left me any the worse for wear, I look pretty good, all things considered, just a bit haggard. I'd been left alone in the medbay for a few moments while they waited for me to rouse myself, which led to score number one; I looted the slag out of their medical supplies. Nowhere obvious, and I was discreet, but I know expensive equipment when I see it. Mine now.
Next up; turns out they didn't have any proper reason to have brought me in in the first place. Some set of rules got misinterpreted or something, some sort of fussy Autobot protocol. Score number two; turns out they never even found out about my transwarp compartment and all that loot I'd stolen from the Elite guard ship, but had confiscated my weapons, which they returned.
Score number three, and oh so deliciously profitable; losing my guards. I don't know if they think prolonged stasis makes you staggered in your processor functions, but they kept treating me very gently, like I was damaged or something. Didn't crowd me, stayed just close enough to be an escort, like they thought I was especially skittish. They were just supposed to be escorting me to another medbay for further systems checks, but the way they were treating me made me decide to test the waters on how far I could push this to my advantage. So I asked if one of them could please grab me a cube of energon, as I felt a bit unsteady. Big dumb lug looks very concerned and goes off to get it. Didn't take much to distract the other guard long enough to hide.
So I sneak off while he's calling out to me in a desperate attempt to narrow down my location, and I manage to find a console, and from there, hack into security. And oh my. Jackpot.
I found where they stash all the confiscated weapons.
Took a few solar cycles of sneaking around in the ventilation system and hacking for kliks at a time before making a run for it, but it was worth it. So very worth it. In my possession I now have some of the most infamous weaponry of the Decepticon ranks, including some seeker blasters, missiles from what appears to be Blitzwing, and my personal favourite; Shockwave's. Cannon. Slagging Shockwave's cannon. Wasn't stupid enough to take Megatron's cannon on the next shelf over, but it felt pretty good to take One Eye's weapon. This should fetch me a very nice collection of credits.
I must admit to a certain amount of satisfaction in selling Shockwave's gun in particular, since he's made me so uneasy in previous sales. Sure, the mech pays well, but he's not someone you'd ever want to make a deal within person. It always feels like he's studying you too intently. I don't know. I'm probably just prejudiced because he hasn't got a real face.
Right now, I am off to Erox 324. stole a ship and booked it, got a pretty good distance and haven't got a tail on me yet. Hopefully I can get to my destination in about 5 decacycles, with a few stops along the way for additional sales. I know some mercenaries that'd love to get their hands on alot of this merchandise, and Erox 324 will practically sell me their pedes for these med supplies.
Mmm. Good day for business.
Swindle's Log - Category - Business in Cheyne
Entry 13
Got caught by some wandering Elite guardsmen. Again. But I really don't know what's going on. I thought I was headed back to the stockaide for sure this time, they got me in an area they block off from mechs like me, and they're well within their means to drag me in. And yet, they haven't.
They called headquaters, told them who they had, and what I'd been up to, and received orders to just bring me to the nearest transwarp station and leave me with security there. I've been in this cell ever since. It's not unpleasant, just strange. I get fed regularly, and all in all they're pretty respectful, if as surprised as I am. I don't think they know what's going on either.
Entry 13 - Later
Apparently we are all waiting for a medic. Why, I haven't the slightest, and all the guard could do was shrug.
Entry 14
So, medic came and left today. Sad, guilty looking fragger. He looked tired, and in desperate need of a good recharge cycle, but he treated me pretty respectfully, so can't complain. Checked out all my joints and systems, did some weird tests to see how my processor was functioning.
Kept asking me how I was doing, how I was feeling. If I'd had anything strange happen to me, like memories I didn't think were mine, or empty areas in my memory banks that I couldn't account for.
I thought about it, but no, not really. That time I woke up from prolonged stasis maybe, but nothing more than that. And frankly, what can you expect after being in that thing for over a stellar cycle. Could have been alot worse.
After a very thorough and awkward check up, the medic seemed satisfied. Almost happy. I asked what was going to happen now, and he shrugged, said I'd need to ask my guards.
Weird day. Is this some new ethical bot protocol, because it doesn't make much sense.
Entry 15
So I'm out. Apparently they can't pin anything on me, (which is questionable, as I know they were well within their laws to bring me in), but for whatever reason, I'm back on track to Cheyne.
Fine by me. Never hurts to have a tune-up and freedom is always a plus. Don't question opportunity when it’s handed to you, I always say. Just grab it and go.
I'm such a lucky pile of scrap, I could punch myself.
Characters: Shockwave/Swindle
Description: non-con, sticky, disturbing, mind games galore. First person POV, from Swindle's perspective. He's locked in a cell directly across from Shockwave in the Autobot stockade. His state of mind and general well being degrades in a slow downward spiral as Shockwave amuses himself. You probably don't want to read this if you are easily disturbed.
Entry 109
I'm back in my box in the medbay again. And there's no Shockwave anywhere. Not across the hall, and not in my head. Whatever that medic did, he removed any trace that he'd ever been there, locked every back door, sealed every entrance.
I don't remember last night too well, which I'll chalk up to that sedation protocol. That's not to say I can recall nothing. I know what he-
Yeah. No, I'm not going to go there just yet. Medic set me up with some suppression software this morning when I was awake to consent to it, so we'll just leave that for now. Not going to go there. He figures I'm better off just recovering for a few solar cycles, and I am inclined to agree.
My faculties seem to be intact. Nothings damaged, my security alert systems are back to functioning, and my log is full of things that I have put in there. Nothing else.
I took some relaxants with my ration today, and it feels like they're kicking in. Right. I'll muse some more on this later.
Entry 110
Can't stand just yet, but I'm a bit better from yesterday. Medic said he wants me to keep resting, since I'm exhausted and I can't heal as well as he'd like when my systems are running half-cocked. Apparently Shockwave did quite a number on my valve to cover up when I trying to push him off. Sure I got fingered a bit, but he still jammed it in before he should have.
I take a certain black glee in knowing I pissed him off enough to make him break form. It's only because of the suppression software, otherwise I'd probably still be screaming, but right now I just puke. Thank you suppression software. Should have got some of this for myself stellar cycles ago.
I'm a little... let's say giddy, as a side effect though. Medic says as the coding eliminates itself, I'll have a better recall of that night, but it'll trickle in slowly so I can deal with it a piece at a time. That sounds doable.
Big blue oaf and little red slagger have tried to sneak by a few times this solar cycle to check on me, but I still catch them at it. Especially the big guy. Magnus? Seriously? Medic said he got Shockwave pretty good for me though, so I suppose I shouldn't mock him too much. He's not the brightest of bulbs, but he knows how to fight.
Mm. Relaxants kicking in again. Time for a stasis nap.
Entry 111
Suppression software started to degrade today. Not pleasant. Not pleasant at all. I'm glad I let the medic administer it, I don't know how I would have coped with this all at once. I wonder if that's what Shockwave did to his collection? Probably. Sick piece of scrap. I'm bad news, who am I kidding, but Shockwave? Horror stories don't do him justice.
And I can talk again, did I mention that? I doubt it, my mind was a bit scrambled. Muter’s gone, and I didn't even know. Medic showed up a few cycles before the coping software was scheduled to begin it's slow removal. He said he wanted to be here in case I needed him, asked if he could sit down on the berth next to me. I gave him a pointed look and gestured to the chair. Thanks doc, I'm grateful and all, but that's too close.
Anyway, programming starts its little backward withdrawal right on schedule, and it hit me a bit hard. I'm getting some proper recharge time again, so I'm starting to be able to school my expressions properly, but that was a whole lot to deal with. Medic started to get up, usual guilty look in his optics but I waved him off, made him sit down again. He looked like he was going to hold me to his chassis, like someone straight off assembly. I'm not an autobot, I deal with this slag on my own thank you. After a few more cycles, I processed the emotions and fear that passed through me, and I adjusted. It was hard, but like I said, doable. Little bit at a time.
We sat in silence for a bit, and the medic was looking at me a bit funny, so I shrugged, raised my hands, "What?" He told me to try saying something. I glared. That wasn't funny. He leaned back, looking pleased with himself, and told me to try it. Doctor's orders. I pointed at the door, "Get out," but he wouldn't. Just sat there grinning.
So I gave him another black look, and slowly and carefully said "Go suck on a tail pipe." And he laughed. And I sat there in shock, because really, I hadn't expected anything to come out. After another few cycles, he coaxed me into saying more, and eventually I'm just sitting there babbling out familiar phrases to myself, thrilled and elated and unable to think, just talking. Big blue and chinly was trying to peek at us from a little down the hall, but as usual, he's a colossal failure at being sneaky so I caught him. Told him to go frag himself and I laughed. He couldn't hear me, soundproofed room and all, but he could see my expression and his face just lit up and he spun on his heel and hurried off somewhere. Came back with the minibot, pointed at me and started talking. The minibot smiled a bit, but never full on grinned. Whatever. I could talk.
When I'd finally settled down, the medic explained what had gone on. Apparently only the medic who put in the muter is allowed to approve its removal. He'd wanted to take it out as soon as he'd heard about it, but neither his superior nor his colleague would agree to it. After my last visit with Shockwave, he'd gone back to them and informed them he'd be removing it anyway. His superior threatened a court martial, told him he was being insubordinate. That I agitated other prisoners when I could talk, and that was a danger to the guards on duty in that hall.
So my medic came back with the Magnus (still can't comprehend that, I mean look at him), and he tore a strip of paint off the pair of them. Apparently I've been capable of speech for the past three days, and the medic only told me now because he's technically supposed to wait for a patient to discover it on their own. I'd been mum for so long I just didn't think to try.
I've got no one to talk to most of the time, but still. I can!
Swindle's back in business baby!
Entry 112
I've been getting enough recharge again. I won't be competing in any marathons, but I can walk a bit. I have no big looming monster staring at me from across the hall. I have my voice back, and with it, my confidence. All this means I can think.
And if I can think, I can negotiate. And I have realised I have something pretty potent to negotiate with.
I could kick myself in the skidplate for not realising this sooner, but then I wasn't exactly in peak condition. I'm still not, but I'm better than I've been in a long time. A long, long time.
I was going over what the suppression software was releasing to me today, when the medic was here. He said he's going to show up for each scheduled release, and that if I want to talk about it to make it easier to cope with, he's ready to listen. I told him thank you, but no. I'll take care of myself. He advised against that, but let me tough it out, and when it was over he left. He'd already done the examination on the rest of me, he always makes a point of doing that before I get the sensations of Shockwave eased back into my head, I've never had to tell him I didn't want to be touched afterwards. I suppose that's just common sense on his part.
Back on topic, I'm getting side-tracked.
I decided to examine all my sessions with Shockwave today, and I had a revelation. When I'd finished puking (still can’t think about that last time too much), I considered it. In particular, Shockwave's blackmail threat to tell his secretary that I'd provided him with some of his more heinous contraptions and tools. I can't deny some knowledge of what they'd be used for; there's only so many bots that'll fit in things that small. I didn't know exactly what he was doing, but I'm not naive, I knew who they were for.
But here's the thing Shockwave didn't consider when he reminded me of my part in his little torture games; I sold him those things. Specifically, I had to send them to him. And I know where they were delivered.
Is that where some of his collections are? Who knows. I don't, but the minibot doesn't know that either. And I'm willing to bet that's more than Shockwave has provided for information at this point. Why else would he keep giving me to him when it causes him so much anguish?
I'm no fool, I know this isn't enough to get me out of here. Like I've said before, my life isn't worth that many of their own, especially whe
n they can see them suffering on a live camera feed. But it's a pede in the door.
Entry 113
Told the medic I needed to speak to the minibot today. He was dubious, and I can't really blame him, considering what happened last time I was in a cell with the little oilstain. I told him he could go ahead and stasis cuff me before hand if he liked. Hell, strap me down, but I needed to talk to him. This was a bluff, of course. I can’t take being restrained right now.
Luckily for me, that wasn’t a problem. They didn't strap me down. Didn't even stasis cuff me, but they weren't stupid enough to send the minibot in alone. He came in with a pair of guards, and the big blue chin-bot. To be honest, I was intimidated, since I'm still not comfortable around mechs who are considerably larger than myself, and it will be a long, long time before I am again. I fought it down and made my offer.
Made it very carefully, I might add. Made a point to state I did not know exactly what Shockwave was doing with what I'd sold him, and that I had refused to sell him specific items. I'm low, and I'm dirty, but there are things I do not do.
Told them I was sorry for the pain I was causing, and that though I still hated them for it, I could comprehend their difficult position. Then I told them about what I knew, and that I was willing to make an exchange for it.
A few nanokliks of very intense silence followed. I fought back the urge to fidget. Big blue bot started to say something, but the minibot held up his hand to silence him. And we waited, and he thought. He thought and made the other guy be quiet, I should say. Titanium bearings on that one, telling someone that above his station to shut up.
He asked what I wanted in exchange.
I prepared to haggle. I knew this game. Demand high, and whittle it down to something they think is reasonable, and hopefully still come out on top.
So I say I want out, but I know they won't do that. Big blue guy goes very still and nods, but looks away from me, refusing my meet my optics. Minibot, on the other hand, keeps looking right back at me, so I continue.
I know they won't let me go immediately, but once they've found half the bots on camera, I want out. Further more, I want a cell away from Shockwave for a deca-cycle following each violation. If they're going to be handing me to him on a silver platter (minibot winced at that, big guy looked like he wanted to puke), I at least want to be free from him long enough to recuperate. I want those suppressants before and after any time I am handed to him. I want a guarentee that he will never get into my head again, and the minibot or the big guy will personally watch what occurs each time to ensure this. (More wincing. I took some satisfaction in that. If you're going to make me suffer, I'm going to make you slagging well watch you've done). My barrier will be opaque for the entirety of every second solar cycle. No one is ever to put a muting device in me again, ever. And finally, when they release me, I want access to a number of locations that are usually guarded by their faction, and my merchandise back. Half of what they found in my personal transwarp dimension wasn't even loot from their ship.
And the minibot agrees.
No haggling, no thinking about it. He just says yes.
I'm speechless. So's the big blue guy. We're both staring at him a bit dumbfounded, when he holds up a finger. My tanks dropped.
He wants all those minibots out.
I tell him I can't wait that long.
He says he's sorry, but those are his terms.
I was about to tell him to leave, when he held up his finger again.
Said he'd add one more thing to what I was getting out of the deal. He'd make Shockwave forget he'd ever done anything to me. That he could make it so that it was like this whole thing had never happened.
I had to think about it. He said that was fine, and they left.
He came back a few cycles ago for my answer.
We have a deal.
------
Entry 114
So yesterday I made a deal. I haven't done that since... slag, since I traded information with con on the left. And it was such an easy deal. I wasn't expecting the minibot to just up and agree to all that. We were haggling, wheeling and dealing, I thought, so I demanded way more than I thought I'd ever get. Laid on the empathy as thick as I could without choking on it, lied through my denta, and made demands that were almost, but not quite, too outrageous to be met.
The most I thought I'd get was a blacked out cell once a deca-cycle, a few days in the medbay following my scheduled assault and maaaybe some of my merchandise back when they let me out. If I was really lucky, no threat of being muted hanging over my helm. The 'no more Shockwave in my head thing' was already a given; he's not supposed to have been going in there in the first place. I just put that in to make it seem like I didn't know as much as I do about my position. Make them feel superior in the deal.
But instead of any of that, he just... agreed. Deals don't work like this. I mean, he added the stipulation that I'm stuck here until they get all their bots out, but I knew that was going to happen, though getting out early was one of the things I was going to try to wheedle them for the hardest. Slag, I'd drop all the rest of my conditions if I could just get out of here sooner than later. Even that little extra of having Shockwave forget he'd ever been-
I mean, from their perspective, it's a stupid deal. A deca-cycle in a cell away from Shockwave after he's done with me? They already give me ten solar-cycles to recuperate. I checked. If they keep pacing their negotiations with him the way they have been, the only time I'll have to see him is when he- yeah. And making them watch? A part of me still thinks that was a stupid idea, but there's another part that's viciously pleased that they have to face what they're doing in such a personal way.
And all my merchandise back, seriously? I stole half of that from them!
Overall, I am thrilled, yet suspicious. I want to chalk all this up to their enormous (and wholly justified) sense of guilt, but my programming won't let me.
What are they up to? Nothing is that easy.
Entry 115
Heard some muffled yelling down the hall today, but couldn't see what was going on. Didn't really have to. Medic came storming in to check up on me and wait out the last part of the suppression software deleting itself. Only thing out of place was how quiet and angry he was, and the fact he was early.
The last bit of the terror that Shockwave pulled on me passed through my memory core, and it was probably the worst I've gotten back, but all the previous days had me prepared. Did take me longer to recover, and I puked, which was a first for this, but then it was over. I took a few deep vents to calm my sensors and clear my head, stabilised myself. And then the medic and I just sat there for awhile. I thought he was just making sure I was alright. I wish that were the case.
After the silence had gotten uncomfortable, I asked him what was going on. He tried to start a few times, and had to stop himself, clenched his fists and looked away, furious. I waited.
Apparently I'm seeing Shockwave tonight, in his solitary confinement cell. He gets two nights for every piece of information he shares, and he's demanding his second one. Says he should really be getting one and a half, but he'll let that go, since he was bending the rules.
He'll let that go. How generous.
And they're giving it to him, since this particular piece of information will give them one of his larger stashes.
The medic said that my deal with the secretary has been discussed with him, but he advises against installing more suppression software prior to the event. Apparently it's only intended to help a patient cope with trauma after the fact; it needs something pre-existing to subdue. If he gives it to me now all it will accomplish is making me giddy and less alert. And neither of us want that.
I ask him what other options I have, and he says he's still got that sedative he’d previously offered me. I didn’t even dignify that with a reply, so he gave me a pointed look, and asked how different I really thought that was from what I'd been using before. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, and he started listing off examples of what he thought I could be utilising. Said he didn't know exactly what I'd had installed, but could recognise the signs. Lack of resistance, dazed appearance, weakness of the joints. He'd known I had something running to subdue my processor from that first night, but hadn't said anything. Was only bringing it up now because he didn't want me going in there again with nothing.
I'd rather go in there with my full mental capacity intact and suffer though it all, than have something manipulating me at the same time those claws are manipulating my body.
And then we sat again in silence. He said he'd be there to take care of whatever he could when I got out.
I've got half a megacycle.
Creating new file - slave link created - link source hidden and encoded - source will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - confirmation code requested confirmation received Slave file - untitled Encrypting with temporary coding sequence. This entry will delete itself from temporary database upon closing. Encoding... Encoding... Encoding...
System update - all firewalls operating at full capacity - memory files locked and encoded - Trojans activated - will infect any foreign presence attempting to access forbidden files - All files and protocols not necessitated for the function of Slave file - untitled Are now under full lockdown, and will not be active or available for the next two megacycles - Any files bearing title Buried Deep are hostile and will be attacked - Confirmation requested to finalise alterations - Confirmation received
We're going down the elevator now.
Shockwave's at the bottom.
I am not afraid. I have had worse.
No I haven't. Not like this. But I can do this. He's not getting at my mind. And I'm locked tight. The medic made sure of that last time. I will be okay. He's going to frag me. It will hurt. But he can't get in my mind. He can't break in, and he can't get me.
I can deal with this.
It's such a long way down. Like going to the centre of a smelting pit. Sure feels like that's where I'm headed.
The door is opening. I don't want to leave the elevator. Left pede, right pede, left pede, right pede. You are not afraid. Don't make them drag you. Walk. Have dignity. Left, right, left, right. Primus, it’s quiet down here. I wonder which-
Oh. That's the one. I've seen those guards before. Deep intake. Deep intake. In, out, in, out.
It's just for a little while, and then you have a deca-cycle away. It's not forever. In, out, in, out.
That's just the door. They just locked the door. That's all. They just locked it. They just locked you in with Shockwave.
Don't panic. Don't panic. You can do this. Talk your way through it. You will be alright. He can't get you. He can't get you. See, there's the minibot, and those two guards from that night he first got inside your processor. They'll catch him at it. Remember? They didn't let him stick his claw in your mouth.
I think telling the minibot he had to be here was a bad idea. I don't want anyone to watch this.
Don't look at him, look somewhere else, look at the- they're taking him out of his restraints. Oh Primus. Oh Primus. In, out. In, out. In, out.
Command issued to mute vocalizer - Confirmation required - Confirmation received. Vocalizer muting in 3... 2... 1...
He's going to touch you now. It's okay to flinch. He's horrible. He's coming toward you, and he's going to touch you and hurt you, but you can do this. Don't look at him. Don't look at the minibot. Look at the wall. Don't drag your pedes. You're going to go sit down, but don't drag your pedes.
Okay. Different. Different is frightening, but he can't get in your head. You don't have to talk to him. You can talk, but he doesn't know that. You know something he doesn't. Enjoy that. Your thoughts are your own, and you know something he doesn't.
Why is he sitting but leaving me standing? Oh. Okay, that. That makes sense. He wants to look at me first. And he wants to talk to me. At me. He doesn't know I can talk. I'm not going to talk to him. Enjoy that. You know something he does not.
Apparently he's not angry with me. That's nice. That just fixes everything then, doesn't it? He says he expected me to show some resistance. Oh. Oh no. He's pulling me into his chassis. I don't want to- no!
That was both embarrassing and dumb. You had nowhere to run you idiot, and his limbs stretch. How did you think that was going to end? And you wound up in his arms anyway. Okay, I'm not going to panic again. Bite it down, swallow it. He's just holding you right now. He's just holding you and scratching at your neck and your helm. It's disturbing, but it doesn't hurt. Don't humiliate yourself further by struggling.
What is he-?
Oh no.
Oh no no.
That's not fair.
Don't look at the minibot. Look at the-
He wants you to look at the minibot. Offline your optics. He can't make you open those.
I can still feel him looking at me. I know he's looking at me. Well this is your own slagging fault, I hope you feel like a scrap heap.
Don't open your optics, oh Primus, don't open your optics- and he's starting. Okay, let's- let's just go over this. He's leaning on the wall, and you are in his lap, your back pressed tight to his chassis. The both of us are facing the minibot and the guards. Let's look at the positives here. If he tries anything he's not supposed to, they'll definitely pick up on it immediately.
And they have such a lovely view of your interface panel, especially your port, now that Shockwave has your leg hiked up. He's not holding my head though, so maybe I can-
No. No, he's making you look again. Just keep your optics off. He's still making himself watch, but you don't have to watch him while he watches you. Just don't think about it. Think about all that inventory you'll be getting ba-AH! Okay. That was a sensitive area. That was a very sensit-Ahn! And that was the rim of your valve, and now-haaa. Now he's got one claw in and one circling around just inside. Oh Primus that's horrible. Oh Primus. I hate you. I hate you.
Ha!
Okay, what now? Where did the claws go? Is he just going to start fragging me, because it looks like he's trying to punish me and the minibot simultaneously. There's something touching me, but it doesn't feel like his cord. It's too thin. What is he-
No! NO NO NO!
It's okay, the guards are coming over, they saw you panic, they saw the cables. It's okay, you're okay, it's okay. He's touching you now. He's just rubbing your legs, those are his claws, he stopped the cables.
What is he talking about? What else would someone use a long prehensile cable like that for-
Oh. Oh that's disgusting. He didn't, they're not-
No, he just fessed up to it, and the guards are checking. That's disgusting, but I should have seen that coming, really. You knew he liked them tiny, smaller than he could penetrate, and you knew that the mod existed. Why wouldn't he get some installed?
At least they're in his forearms and not his interface panel.
Okay. It's not a hacking cable. The guards just checked. They've got rubber tips. He's going to stick them in you, get rea-Ha!
Okay, that feels really bizarre-Oh. Oh. Okay, that's a second one. The minibot's saying something. Okay, it's just going to be two. That's all he gets to use. That's it. That’s all. Oh Primus, he's moving them. They're wiggling. Oh Primus, oh slag, oh slag, oh SLAG. Ah. Ha, ha, ah. AHN!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
The-Ah! They vibrate. Tha-that's wonderful. They vibrate. Oh Primus, think about someth-Ah! I can't thi-ink! Just ride it out. Don't look across the room, don't listen to Shockwave, just ride it out. Oh!-o-Kay! Ju-just ride it-
AH! Ahhhhhhn, ahhhn, oh, oh Primus. Oh PRIMUS. AH! AH! AH!
Ahhhh! Oh, oh, oh stop. I just, I ju-Ah! I overloaded, take them out, stop. Ah, ah, ah, okay, they're not vibrating anymore, you still tingle all over and you're still hyper sensitive, but they're not vibrating. They're just pushing around and wiggling while he touches you all over.
That's all.
Ha.
Ah.
Ah.
Oh, that's sensitive. Stop pinching tha-hat! Oh, oh, not again. Not while he's watching. Not while he's- AH! Ah! Ooooh! Ohhhh Primus, oh! You're going to overload again, just let it happen, just ride it out. Don't think about the mess you're making, don't think about where you are. You ca-Ah! Ah! Ah! You can talk, he doesn't know that. You kno-Oh! Oh! Ah! You know something he does-doesn't. Ah!
PRIMUS!
Hah, hah, ah, ah, hah.
Ah-and they’re coming out now.
That... that sounded disgusting. Plop. I should not make a plop.
Ah. Almost done. Primus I'm tired. Okay, he's moving you now. We're both moving. Oh good. Oh thank- thank you. We're turning away from the minibot for this. Well, we're turning- oh, that pulled on something. Ow. We're side-on. I don't have to see him. I don't want to know someone else is watching this happen. Stupid, Swindle. Stupid stupid stup-AH!
Oh, he's big. Oh he's big. Ah! Ah! Ah!
He's so hot, so hot. He's on top of me and pushing down on me and he's so hot. AH!
That was fast. That was good. Fast is good. Ugh, there's his usual mess. He's sitting down again. Almost done. See? You did it. You did it. He's already got his cord out of you and everything. He's just holding you now. He's just scratching your neck and rubbing your leg and holding you.
Wait, what?
"Be wary, little one. Autobots lie."
What? What does that mean? What is he talking about?
We're done? Oh good, we're done. But what was he-stop that, I'll walk.
Frag, frag-
File complete. Now deleting Slave file - untitled Deleting file... Deleting file... Deleting file...
Deletion complete.
Entry 115 - Later
What the slag did that mean? "Autobots lie?" Oh course they lie, everyone lies.
He's messing with me again. I know he is. But what does he mean? Why would be he cryptic about it if he wanted to torment me? I can't make any sense of it. He doesn't have to worry about me trusting them, in any case. After this incarceration, that's not really an issue.
Medic was still livid when we got back. Didn't direct any of that at me though.
I walked out of Shockwave's cell under my own power, but I couldn't hold it after they shut the door on his cell. Still wouldn't let them carry me though, so they just sort of hoisted me along while I stumbled. By the time we got back I was a shivering mess from the pain. And I wouldn't let the medic touch me either. I'm calm now, but I wasn't then. Told him to get out and not touch me. That I just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t say anything, just left the numbing stuff on the berth along with a relaxant. Then he quietly closed the door and dragged the minibot down the hall, to yell at him, I presume.
I just sat on the berth and held myself, feeling disgusting. The medic came back a bit later, just sat and waited for me to give him the okay and did what needed to be done. I skipped the relaxant but took a quarter dose of the suppressant.
When we were done, I asked him to get the minibot.
He's not going to watch from inside the cell anymore. Turns out he's been making himself watch from a security camera anyway. Fine by me. That was a stupid decision on my part, based more on revenge than common sense. The mech and femme who were there tonight are staying though. They won't let Shockwave get away with anything.
Tonight was horrible, but at least I know I can handle this now.
I can do this.
I will get out of this.
Slag it. I can't recharge. "Autobots lie?"
------
Entry 116
So. Back to not being able to stand. In hindsight, insisting I be allowed to walk back to the medbay wasn't a bright move. Especially since the goal was not to be touched anymore than I needed to be, or feel weak and dominated. So instead of being picked up and cradled by one guard, I get two of them with their arms around my backstrut and torso and moving in to catch me every three steps when my legs give out. As an added bonus, the trip back takes an endless and painful amount of time, and I'm being crowded by intimidatingly large mechs for the duration. Brilliant.
At least I walked out of the cell with some dignity intact. I managed not to collapse until they cranked on the locks. And the medic tells me the damage isn't as bad as he was afraid it'd be. That Shockwave, always so very gentle. I really should thank him one of these days.
Speaking of; "Autobots lie." I've been puzzling over that. Fine, yes, they lie. Okay. But what is he referring to specifically? He can't know about the deal I made, his secretary wouldn't be stupid enough to tell him that. Did he figure it out on his own? Possibly. He may have offered information and been told they wanted to know something else. Which they wouldn't do unless they'd been previously informed.
And who else would have told them that?
Shockwave's not stupid. It's entirely possible he's deduced something, but it’s impossible for him to know something that specific. Maybe he's just playing off a general knowledge of me, things he knows I'd do. I am a dealmaker, why wouldn't I test those skills here?
I want to believe that's all it is so badly. But I can't. Something feels off. But slag it, what is it?
Entry 117
Still not walking. Medic wants me to recharge for most of the day, like I did yesterday, but I'm paranoid now. Suspicious. Nothing's out of the ordinary, nothing is new. I think Shockwave's getting to me, which irritates me because he's not even here. This is supposed to be my little rape-free vacation, and he's still ruining it for me.
"Autobots lie."
I've been going over the deal, and nothing seems off there. I'm away from Shockwave, I've got the suppression software if I want it, the minibot watched like I asked him to, though that is no longer a condition based on mutual agreement. Time will tell if the muter comes back in, though I doubt they'll inflict that on me again. The only other things they can double cross me on are keeping me imprisoned for the entirety of my sentence, or not making Shockwave forget about me, and they put that one on the table.
Entry 117 - Later
Went over our deal again. I keep doing that, trying to see what I missed, what loophole they're using. The oaf snuck by to check on me while I was doing that, and I remembered his shock at the secretary's agreeing to my terms.
Which could mean nothing, maybe he was just surprised for the same reasons I was. No haggling, and agreeing with the first terms I laid out. But maybe he'd been anticipating a counter offer.
Which means they were planning on something else.
Something that may still be in progress.
I've got no proof of this, but medic's been quiet lately. He gets very quiet when he's feeling extra guilty.
I'm worried.
Entry 118
Something is going on.
Medic did his usual examination, and when he finished the minibot was in the hall. Wanted to speak to him.
Whatever the little guy said, my medic completely flew off the handle. Gesticulated a very obvious 'no!', slashed his hands across each other, shook his head hard. Minibot started to say something else, and he sagged, ran a servo over his face, looked up at the ceiling. His back was to me, and I couldn't see much of the minibot past him, but it was clear there was some serious discussion going on. Alot of nodding from the medic after awhile, until something else set him off and he looked like he was going to remove his medic symbol. Which is when the oaf comes into view, surprising everyone else. Grabs the medic's servo, stops him. The oaf is the only one facing me, and he looks pained. My medic jabs him in the chest with a finger, makes more 'no' gestures, lifts his servos to his face in a clawing position, shaking. Starts saying something else, more ‘no’s’. The oaf takes a brief glance at me, and his face; I know I look like I belong in a junkyard by now, but so did he. Looked like complete scrap, like he hadn't recharged in solar cycles. Our optics met and he looked like he would just fall apart at the seams.
We held that glance for a few kliks, and the medic noticed. Looked back at me, then pointed down the hall. They moved out of my sight, and that's the last I saw of them.
He came to check on me not long ago. I asked him what was going on.
He won't talk to me. Just tells me not to worry about it, and get some stasis.
Entry 119
I need to get out of here. Whatever is going on, I can't figure it out, and it’s not good.
I can barely walk, but I need to get out of here.
I didn't try asking the medic anything today, didn't even talk to him much. I did ask to speak to the minibot and the big guy though. Medic said no, but I demanded until he relented. They came by with two guards again, purely for the sake of protocol since I'm no threat to the secretary if the oaf Magnus is present, especially not when I can't even make it around my room without using the wall.
I asked them what was going on. Said we had a deal, that I'd given them all the information I had.
The minibot agreed. I had, and they were grateful. Half of the locations I'd given them had proven fruitless, but had provided clues and suspects they could question. Some of the other locations were more remote and rescue crews hadn't reached them yet, but they were hopeful, since they seemed to match up with what clues could be gleaned from the live feeds. And a few locations had actually had minibots in them. They were on their way home.
He said again how grateful they were, and how much they owed me.
So give me an answer, I said. What's going on?
Nothing that wasn't in the deal, says the minibot.
The tension in the room the whole time was thick, sickening.
What are they doing?
Entry 120
Tried to make a break for it today. It did not go well.
Shoulder-checked the medic when he came through the door, and took him completely by surprise. Got past him and I bolted. Put myself in alot of pain, but I made it to the doors of the medbay before the guards were on me. Didn't know I could run that fast. Or fight that hard. I think I cracked one of their optics.
Woke up back in my box, and haven't seen anyone since. They didn't even bother to restrain me to the berth. Guess they don't really have much to worry about, I won't be running anywhere for a while. I think I tore something that had been beginning to heal. Medic must have numbed it while I was out, because I'm not in any pain, my body just gives out when I try to walk around.
So I'm lying here, alone and getting pretty scared.
"Nothing that wasn't in the deal."
"Autobots lie."
I'm thinking they don't. I'm thinking I missed something very important.
------
Entry 121
I can't figure this out, but I need to. I just keep going over it all again and again and coming up with nothing.
I've got the suppression software. This is day six away from Shockwave, so it seems I still get that. I've been doing alot of yelling, but no one's done anything about that either, so the agreement about the muter is still in place.
But they're planning something. I know they are. I keep seeing the oaf. He's worse looking now then he was. Other bots keep shooing him out, and he's pretty unresisting about it.
I'm babbling. It's because I'm scared. I always go on tangents when I'm nervous. Back to business.
They won't kill me. That much I'm sure of. I'm still the only bargaining chip they have with Shockwave, and they won't give me to him for keeps either, because then what would they have to offer? No, I was afraid it would be something like that, but that's completely counterintuitive.
So what about what they offered me? Making him forget. Why would they renege on that? They brought it up. Is it something in how they'll make him forget?
Slag it.
Medic is still no help. Spent alot of extra time with me this morning, apparently I did myself alot of damage yesterday. Can't say I was agreeable about letting him do what needed to be done. I no longer trust him, and he said he knew as much without me saying it, but that he promised never to be the one that hurt me.
Fair enough. As long as we both know where we stand. Or lay, in my case.
Entry 122
Oaf came in at an early hour this morning, way before the medic ever shows. I don't think he's supposed to be in here, but really, who's going to tell the Magnus no?
He wanted to thank me again for divulging the information I had. I told him I hadn't divulged it, they'd bought it off me. He said that was fine, but all the same, he'd wanted to thank me. They'd gotten the first batch of Shockwave's collection back four solar cycles ago. Come to think of it, that's when he started looking like complete scrap.
Which makes alot of sense, with what he told me next.
Apparently there were seven of them at that location. Most of them tiny, smaller than the secretary, and one that was unusually large. That one couldn't walk, and unlike most of the rest, did not whimper or cry or protest much. Looked frightened, but dull. Empty. They think he may have been there the longest. They're working on reconfiguring his internals as I log this. Putting them all back to where they should be.
I asked him why he was telling me this. He said he felt it was important I knew who I'd helped. And on he went.
The littler ones, by the sound of it, were the ones that have been haunting him so much. He went to visit them personally when they came in, and they cowered from him. Hid their faces against each other, and a few thrashed around where they were restrained to their berths. Apparently those ones kept trying to run away or hide from their medics. He didn't know what to do, was struck pretty speechless. Eventually two of them came over to him, quivering, and nuzzled apprehensively into his thigh, rubbing their faces into his servo. When he moved out of their range, the smallest of the two started to whimper, and the second one sort of hushed him, held him. Then he looked at the oaf, frightened and placating, and started to... perform on his friend. The oaf moved to stop them, which made the little one cry more, and confused the bigger one.
The medics told him it was probably best he leave. He didn't think he could take any more of that anyway, so he did. Didn't even realise until half a megacycle later that the two little ones that had come up to him had had their wheels and shoulder armour removed. And none of them actually spoke. Just made little noises, like drones or animals.
He went quiet for a long while after that.
I asked him to leave.
He said he just wanted me to know that they were doing all they could for those minibots, and that he was grateful for what I'd done. And sorry for what they were making me do. That I was doing a service for my fellow bots that could never properly be repaid.
You’re not my fellow bot. Don't kid yourself.
Entry 123
Whatever they're doing, they're doing it soon.
New bots looking at me today. Nerdy looking, probably scientists. One of them was tall, skinny, some kind of lenses over his optics. He studied me like something under glass to be dissected, creepy and emotionless. His friend was a little better. He at least had the decency to look ashamed.
I've got no way out. I don't know what they're going to do, and I've got no way out.
Entry 123 - Later
I'm strapped to a berth in some part of the medbay I've never seen before. The two bots from earlier are in here, along with some others. The medic came to see me before they came. Told me not to be afraid. Told me he'd be there when I got out. Told me he was sorry.
I hope his intakes rust.
I fought again when they came to collect me, I knew it was futile, but I did it anyway. They knocked me out, and I woke up here.
They've got a bunch of cables hooked into my processor, and they've got the whole thing open. I don't know what they're going to do. Pretty sure they've got me drugged on something too. I shouldn't be this calm.
There's an observation deck above us. I can see the oaf and the minibot watching. They don't look too happy.
They can go rust too. We had a deal.
The two scientists are fiddling with something now. I can't see what they're doing, but I feel odd, I'm not sure what-ERROR
Higher functions are offline. Functions will resume once editing process is complete.
Remain calm
Entry 9 - Error - Entry 9 - Category Stockaide imprisonment Already exists - ERROR - Correction - error has been made, Log Entry 9 Has no pre-existing copy - Resuming log function in 3... 2... 1...
Well that was odd. I'll chalk that up to being in stasis for so long while they shuffled us around. I mean economically speaking, it makes sense, you don't have to fuel a bunch of prisoners while they're in a complete stasis lock, but now my chronometer is all screwed up. Not to mention I caught a glimpse of myself on the way down here, and I look like garbage. That prolonged stasis really did a number on me.
Weird medic too. Sad looking sack of cogs. Kept asking me if I was alright, how I was feeling. Checked all my joints and processor functions. All pretty normal for a maintenance check, but then he asked me to lay back so he could check my valve. Thanks, but no thanks doc. I'm still a bit sore, but that's just overkill for an after stasis maintenance check. I mean really, my valve?
I should probably describe my new arrangement. I am by far the smallest con down here, from what I can see, which frankly, isn't much. All the cells adjacent to my own are too wide for me to see the occupants. Only one I can see really, is right across from me. Ol' one eye himself, Shockwave. He always was a creepy fragger but today he's being down right unnerving. Keeps asking me really strange questions and being very personal. I've ignored him so far.
Good client, but he's giving me the creeps. He was always a little off, but this is a bit much. Maybe it’s because he's bored. I've taken to keeping my back to him. My cell has some kind of privacy setting where the barrier is dark and more opaque, and I gotta say I'm grateful. I don't think anyone else has one, so it’s probably just to make up for sticking me down here with all the high risk cons.
Speaking of which, one of my immediate neighbours is really creeping me out. Probably more than Shockwave at this point. Keeps making really weird little noises to himself, and I think he's masturbating with his valve. Kept talking to me when Shockwave was escorted out for what I think was interrogation. Told me he missed me, asked where I'd gone.
Clearly captivity has not been beneficial to his processor.
On the upside, the two guards I had today were friendly, if strange. Seemed happy I would talk to them, asked when I'd gotten my voice back. I told them I wasn't aware I'd lost it, and they looked at me a little strangely, then at each other and changed the subject.
Does this hall just make processors start fritzing or what?
Entry 10
More strangeness from Shockwave.
No opaque barrier this morning, and I woke up to him staring at me. This was awkward, to say the least, so I asked if there was something I could help him with. Not a weird thing to say, just something to break the ice.
He looked like someone had whacked him in the back of the head, absolutely gob-smacked. So I said it again, "Shockwave, what can I do for you?"
He's speechless. He tilts his head, studying me from one angle then another. Stares at the two guards who are there for the sole reason of watching his cell (higher security for higher-ranked cons, I figure), and just keeps staring at me. He doesn't have much in the way of expressions, but he still managed to convey shock pretty well.
And then I hear this weird huffing sound coming from Shockwave. This continues for a bit until he throws his head back and laughs. And this laugh was well, awful. Not pleasant at all. And he did it for a long time. Heard my creeper neighbour shudder against the wall. And when he'd finished laughing, Shockwave just looked at me like I was a cool cube of high grade for the rest of the day. Didn't say a word.
On second thought, that wasn't so much strange as it was horrifying.
Entry 9 - Error - Entry 9 - Category Stockaide imprisonment Already exists - ERROR - Correction - error has been made, Log Entry 9 Has no pre-existing copy - Resuming log function in 3... 2... 1...
Fragging stasis always messes with my log banks. Memory files too, considering I don't even remember being put into a stasis pod in the first place. Physically speaking, I'm a bit stiff and my backstrut’s sore, but otherwise I'm alright. Got a little check up with a medic before hand too, just to ensure everything was in working order. Considerate bot, if disturbed looking. Doesn't seem like he catches much recharge, could probably stand to do some time in that pod himself. Nice enough mech though, even told me to just tell the guards if I ever needed him.
New cell arrangement is roomy, if not neighbourly. I can't really see anyone but Shockwave, who's directly in front of me.
Keeps staring at me like he wants something. Weird, weird mech. I knew there was a reason I never did deals with him in person.
At least I'm out of reach.
Swindle's log - New Category
You need to know about this - Entry 1
WARNING - Log will be permanently embedded in memory core - confirmation required - Confirmation received. Log will be permanently embedded once closed
System update - this log entry will be hidden in memory banks, and locked from all outside sources. To access this encrypted file, use password - Beware One Eye - Commencing Log
Do not forget this. Do not lose this.
You are in the Autobot stockaide, and tonight, they are going to do something to you. They have done this before, but I have no idea how many times. Whatever it is, it will leave you with no memory of what has transpired, and what they have done.
They are using you in a deal with Shockwave. They make you forget, and then they give you to him again, and he hurts you. He hurts you and he uses you and he treats you like a pleasure drone. They only allow him to rape you about once every few decacycles, but you wind up in his cell once every few solar cycles regardless, and he makes you sit in his lap while he touches you, talks to you. As far as he is concerned, you are his property.
You are not his property. Never forget that.
There is a little minibot with horns. Formerly Shockwave's secretary. He's the one doing the bartering. Your life for some captives Shockwave has hidden.
One day, you will kill him.
Remember that, and remember to beware of Shockwave. If you ever guess the password, if you ever have reason to figure this password out, you'll know why.
Beware the one eye.
Completing Swindle's log - New Category - You need to know about this - Confirmation requited - Confirmation received - Permanently embedding file in 3... 2...
File embedded and encrypted
ERROR
Higher functions are offline. Functions will resume once editing process is complete.
Remain calm
------Epilogue
Swindle's log - New Category
Back to Business - subcategory - Erox 324 - Entry 1
Primus bless Autobots. Stupid, stupid Autobots. Sure, they set up a whole slew of problems for a black market salesmech like myself, but then they turn around and do the most gullible scrap you've ever seen.
Gotta love ‘em.
I sent a transmission to a client that got intercepted oh...huh, not sure how long ago, my chronometer's all messed up. But anyway, I call up a particular client to make a sale, and get snatched up by an elite guard ship. Turns out they'd hacked his frequency. They put me in stasis for the trip here, which is pretty standard practice for a journey that long while carrying unanticipated prisoners, but then I got kept in stasis when they got here. Apparently the whole Decepticon Autobot war is at a turning point, and they're grabbing cons left, right and centre.
Very bad for business, that. I can always change the ol' faction symbol and trade to Autobots and neutrals, but they're just not the same kind of clientele. Not enough bloodlust in most of them.
But I digress.
They finally decided I wasn't enough of a threat to be worth keeping, and woke me up from stasis. Can't say the prolonged nap left me any the worse for wear, I look pretty good, all things considered, just a bit haggard. I'd been left alone in the medbay for a few moments while they waited for me to rouse myself, which led to score number one; I looted the slag out of their medical supplies. Nowhere obvious, and I was discreet, but I know expensive equipment when I see it. Mine now.
Next up; turns out they didn't have any proper reason to have brought me in in the first place. Some set of rules got misinterpreted or something, some sort of fussy Autobot protocol. Score number two; turns out they never even found out about my transwarp compartment and all that loot I'd stolen from the Elite guard ship, but had confiscated my weapons, which they returned.
Score number three, and oh so deliciously profitable; losing my guards. I don't know if they think prolonged stasis makes you staggered in your processor functions, but they kept treating me very gently, like I was damaged or something. Didn't crowd me, stayed just close enough to be an escort, like they thought I was especially skittish. They were just supposed to be escorting me to another medbay for further systems checks, but the way they were treating me made me decide to test the waters on how far I could push this to my advantage. So I asked if one of them could please grab me a cube of energon, as I felt a bit unsteady. Big dumb lug looks very concerned and goes off to get it. Didn't take much to distract the other guard long enough to hide.
So I sneak off while he's calling out to me in a desperate attempt to narrow down my location, and I manage to find a console, and from there, hack into security. And oh my. Jackpot.
I found where they stash all the confiscated weapons.
Took a few solar cycles of sneaking around in the ventilation system and hacking for kliks at a time before making a run for it, but it was worth it. So very worth it. In my possession I now have some of the most infamous weaponry of the Decepticon ranks, including some seeker blasters, missiles from what appears to be Blitzwing, and my personal favourite; Shockwave's. Cannon. Slagging Shockwave's cannon. Wasn't stupid enough to take Megatron's cannon on the next shelf over, but it felt pretty good to take One Eye's weapon. This should fetch me a very nice collection of credits.
I must admit to a certain amount of satisfaction in selling Shockwave's gun in particular, since he's made me so uneasy in previous sales. Sure, the mech pays well, but he's not someone you'd ever want to make a deal within person. It always feels like he's studying you too intently. I don't know. I'm probably just prejudiced because he hasn't got a real face.
Right now, I am off to Erox 324. stole a ship and booked it, got a pretty good distance and haven't got a tail on me yet. Hopefully I can get to my destination in about 5 decacycles, with a few stops along the way for additional sales. I know some mercenaries that'd love to get their hands on alot of this merchandise, and Erox 324 will practically sell me their pedes for these med supplies.
Mmm. Good day for business.
Swindle's Log - Category - Business in Cheyne
Entry 13
Got caught by some wandering Elite guardsmen. Again. But I really don't know what's going on. I thought I was headed back to the stockaide for sure this time, they got me in an area they block off from mechs like me, and they're well within their means to drag me in. And yet, they haven't.
They called headquaters, told them who they had, and what I'd been up to, and received orders to just bring me to the nearest transwarp station and leave me with security there. I've been in this cell ever since. It's not unpleasant, just strange. I get fed regularly, and all in all they're pretty respectful, if as surprised as I am. I don't think they know what's going on either.
Entry 13 - Later
Apparently we are all waiting for a medic. Why, I haven't the slightest, and all the guard could do was shrug.
Entry 14
So, medic came and left today. Sad, guilty looking fragger. He looked tired, and in desperate need of a good recharge cycle, but he treated me pretty respectfully, so can't complain. Checked out all my joints and systems, did some weird tests to see how my processor was functioning.
Kept asking me how I was doing, how I was feeling. If I'd had anything strange happen to me, like memories I didn't think were mine, or empty areas in my memory banks that I couldn't account for.
I thought about it, but no, not really. That time I woke up from prolonged stasis maybe, but nothing more than that. And frankly, what can you expect after being in that thing for over a stellar cycle. Could have been alot worse.
After a very thorough and awkward check up, the medic seemed satisfied. Almost happy. I asked what was going to happen now, and he shrugged, said I'd need to ask my guards.
Weird day. Is this some new ethical bot protocol, because it doesn't make much sense.
Entry 15
So I'm out. Apparently they can't pin anything on me, (which is questionable, as I know they were well within their laws to bring me in), but for whatever reason, I'm back on track to Cheyne.
Fine by me. Never hurts to have a tune-up and freedom is always a plus. Don't question opportunity when it’s handed to you, I always say. Just grab it and go.
I'm such a lucky pile of scrap, I could punch myself.