2014
Well, it's about to be a new year, so I guess I should check in. I feel reluctant to let the transition pass without some sort of acknowledgement or reflection.
New Year's Eve last year was a bit more glamorous. We had just arrived in Hawaii for our lovely three-week stay. This year, all three of us were zombified by a nasty cold and spent the day doing as little as possible. (Seriously, passing out at the front door after rejecting the Orkin man was an unusual way to wrap up the year. No more exertion for me!)
This year had an overall positive trend, I think. We are both making money now, which is a major plus. We don't live in as much chronic dread as we used to; things have become more predictable and reliable. Jeff is starting to rebuild his sense of confidence and purpose, and we are finally able to enjoy the convenience of thinking about the future.
Those are good things.
I'm looking forward to good things in 2015. We will gain a nephew and a brother-in-law. Maybe we'll gain a member of our own family too, though I'm becoming less certain as the time continues to pass. We'll see. I hope so.
Perhaps as Jeff continues to recover from the military, he will also come back more to me. It's hard to find time for internal processing in the middle of residency... I pray that our pending legal matters with the military do not turn life sour again.
I decided a while back that the symbol representing 2014 for us was a bridge. Harrisburg is full of bridges, so there's the obvious connection. But more symbolically, 2014 carried us from one place to another, wrapping up an old season of life and starting a new one. It was a process, with a span of time, a required journey, and both a physical and mental packing up and starting over.
I feel like I could root here and grow here, and I pray that we don't have to suffer through more halted dreams and upheaval. I pray for peace and restoration, especially between Jeff's heart and mine. I pray that my reserve toward him would thaw and disappear and that he would find a new appreciation and desire to pursue me. And patience, toward me and Charlotte.
The more I process, the more dismal and apprehensive I feel, so maybe I should wrap this up. Help us love each other well. Help us to be kind and patient and constructive and generous and humble in our family.
Here's hoping for a happy new year!
Love,
Melinda