i wish people didnt play life like it was a chess game. just be real. dont tell me what i want to hear, tell me what you think. tell me who you are. fuckin a. dont be a wolf in sheeps clothing be a wolf damnit

why do i live my life in limbo? i must like to torture myself.

still looking for some undying devotion if anyone has any extra lying around?!?

if you wanna read the previous "private" entry... you ask... no more free passes into my head. if you wanna talk then we can talk.

Dear You ( Read more... )

i dropped one word that dropped his jaw. instantly it changed his attitude. i should have played the lottery yesterday because the odds would be better. but whatever i said really pissed him off. he had that look on his face like he does when i find something out he didnt want me to know.. but REALLY TRUELY HONESTLY this time i have no idea what it ( Read more... )

starting to wonder why i try so damn hard for nothing. nothing is ever good enough for anyone. i try so hard to make life easier.. to bare the burden of things and it just rolls right off. i foolisly keep thinking i the one thing i want will happen. and these days im thinking it will never happen and im just setting myself up. maybe i just get into ( Read more... )

lately i just feel kinda down. i need someone to reafirm that i matter. i am someone who is so needy for approval and i havent gotten any lately. it sounds terrible and nuerotic.i just wanna be #1. i want him to be ride or die for me the way i am for him. anyone got any extra undying devotion lying around handy??

I had a man who was celebrating his 50 year wedding aniversary yesterday tell me that the key to lasting that long was trust... he said if his wife had not had faith in him that they would have been done years ago. So how does this relate with shitty Easter?! I wish things with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named were different. I wish I knew that if I'm ( Read more... )

i am so damn stressed out. like its really unbelieveable.. i cant handle all the bills and responsibilitys and my new stupid job and stupid co workers. i cant pay PGE i cant pay COMCAST my rent is late.. i have to find transportation and daycare for like a full fuckin week and my daycare provider has serious health problems. WWWWEEEEAKKKKKKKK. fuck ( Read more... )

all i want is to curl up and melt into him. i am his last priority. im not what matters most. what i wouldnt give to be the one in the drivers seat again. i wanna call the shots. i guess this is my karma for what i did to all the others. i just really wanna be loved. be touched. i wanna feel like someone (no i lied not someone, HIM) i wanna feel ( Read more... )