i never fail....
i dropped one word that dropped his jaw. instantly it changed his attitude. i should have played the lottery yesterday because the odds would be better. but whatever i said really pissed him off. he had that look on his face like he does when i find something out he didnt want me to know.. but REALLY TRUELY HONESTLY this time i have no idea what it is. I MEAN REALLY. i havent done any privacy invasion in a long ass time. plus the last time i did i only found out hurtful shit. that i wanna wipe from my memory. where is The Hatian when you need him??? but anyway so this little silent war broke loose. wierd. and then he gets phone calls @ 12:30 at night? and the old Meagan would be in a panic. wondering at what moment he would drop the bomb that he is leaving. wondering what kind of betrayal i will have to know was committed. but now... it just washes over me. almost like im numb to it. thats bad. its like i just dont feel what my brain is thinking. and me thinks this is fuuuuucked up. i dont know how and i dont know what. i think the truth (all of it, especially from TX) would probably put me in the LOOONEY BIN. fuck that shit. ew fuck that shit. i hope not. thats sick... lmao. i hope if he reads this he only decides that he wants to be nicer to me. hah. this is a paragraph for him to hate me more. more reasons to say im immature and i cant handle what his hobby is. fuck. see how i screw myself everytime. the sad thing is i really love him. spy on that.