life
So...I haven't posted on here in a long time. I haven't written in so long...I'm afraid to just because of everything I've kept in...and I can't believe I've gotten into that habit.
I got back with david a while back...we went to a party together...that was great...and we also went to the Staind, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Crossfade etc concert together. I never ever thought he would do that with me, but I'm glad he did because we both had a lot of fun.
Unfortunately, we aren't together anymore though. We just will never work, we're just not right for eachother and he frustrated me more than pleased me emotionally. Physically we've always been great..whether it be just being together or...sexually. But I need a friend, and emotionally and whatever...we just don't connect. We aren't compatible in that sense.
So now I'm back into the single world and I'm terrified of dating because it means drama is headed my way...and guy drama is the worst kind of drama in existance.
Work sucks still, but I need the money so that's not going to change any time soon. I'm applying to colleges for the Spring term, but I can only hope so much to get accepted since I screwed up so much my first time around. I wish I never even went the first time..I wasn't ready and I didn't want to go...there was still so much I had to deal with...there still is, but right now I'm at a better place.
I feel as though I can accept the past a little bit better, but I still have to reverse some things psychologically that are messed up with me.
The only thing working against me right now is that I don't have many friends. I only have one really...and I can only see him so much since he's in Smyrna.
Family life... well. It's better, but there are those days/nights that I just want to go insane...that make me want to run away. The bad part of being here with them is that they make me feel so insanely inadequate to do anything...so much like a failure...and so impossibly hopeless and helpless. They don't even have to try to do it anymore either.
Oh well. I really think I'm all around OK right now....for the first time. I'm not dealing with anything HUGE right now...just the small stuff adding up to be aggitating.
So there's your update......I will keep up with this more I promise...not that it matters...no one really reads this shit.
I got back with david a while back...we went to a party together...that was great...and we also went to the Staind, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Crossfade etc concert together. I never ever thought he would do that with me, but I'm glad he did because we both had a lot of fun.
Unfortunately, we aren't together anymore though. We just will never work, we're just not right for eachother and he frustrated me more than pleased me emotionally. Physically we've always been great..whether it be just being together or...sexually. But I need a friend, and emotionally and whatever...we just don't connect. We aren't compatible in that sense.
So now I'm back into the single world and I'm terrified of dating because it means drama is headed my way...and guy drama is the worst kind of drama in existance.
Work sucks still, but I need the money so that's not going to change any time soon. I'm applying to colleges for the Spring term, but I can only hope so much to get accepted since I screwed up so much my first time around. I wish I never even went the first time..I wasn't ready and I didn't want to go...there was still so much I had to deal with...there still is, but right now I'm at a better place.
I feel as though I can accept the past a little bit better, but I still have to reverse some things psychologically that are messed up with me.
The only thing working against me right now is that I don't have many friends. I only have one really...and I can only see him so much since he's in Smyrna.
Family life... well. It's better, but there are those days/nights that I just want to go insane...that make me want to run away. The bad part of being here with them is that they make me feel so insanely inadequate to do anything...so much like a failure...and so impossibly hopeless and helpless. They don't even have to try to do it anymore either.
Oh well. I really think I'm all around OK right now....for the first time. I'm not dealing with anything HUGE right now...just the small stuff adding up to be aggitating.
So there's your update......I will keep up with this more I promise...not that it matters...no one really reads this shit.