(no subject)
to wrap up the dave storyline, we had a little chat about how i wasn't angry at him for me, but for jessica. and i was more hurt than angry. and i felt shafted and expendable. and he and jess decided i can't text anymore. or speak really, because i'm an instigator. which is true.
and now for the real entry.
i hate special moments. those moments that are perfect in everyway that they break your heart. it's unfair to have your heart broken by a moment so perfect that you should be remembering it as you sleep. dreaming of it, because god couldn't have made a moment more special had he planned it. but instead it kills you. makes you wish it'd never happened. because then you wouldn't feel that dull ache of hope. hopes the real killer. it's not the heart ache--that you can live with. it's the false hope that'll kill you. because even as you know in your head that it's not happening--never can due to time, place and space--that meddling hope steals your heart and tries to mend it. and when hope is crushed so is your heart, all over again, and your soul as well, a little. and souls are harder to fix, and hurt just a little bit more.
and now for the real entry.
i hate special moments. those moments that are perfect in everyway that they break your heart. it's unfair to have your heart broken by a moment so perfect that you should be remembering it as you sleep. dreaming of it, because god couldn't have made a moment more special had he planned it. but instead it kills you. makes you wish it'd never happened. because then you wouldn't feel that dull ache of hope. hopes the real killer. it's not the heart ache--that you can live with. it's the false hope that'll kill you. because even as you know in your head that it's not happening--never can due to time, place and space--that meddling hope steals your heart and tries to mend it. and when hope is crushed so is your heart, all over again, and your soul as well, a little. and souls are harder to fix, and hurt just a little bit more.