explaining an ode is hard work
okay...so where to begin. i have this nice group of friends at work. the night i was declared a biggot, they dragged me from the house and took me to the bar. we go to the movies, we hang out at work. in general, i have some pretty stellar friends now. i missed having that around. missed people on the weekends.it's not that i don't have friends, because honestly, anyone who reads this is, but it's harder to get together with all of you. anyway, the best of my friends would be dave, jess, and mel allen. followed shortly by paige, angela, mel west, and ryan. thursday, dave, jess, and i decide to see stranger than fiction on monday night. dave even calls mel allen and tells her about it, letting her into our movie group. we're the misfits. so monday comes up, and i've got the list of times ready for when we finish work that night, figuring it'll be the 1025 at the canton emagine. well we never got to the movies. monday was a pretty bad day at work. dave was reclusive and left quickly, jess got in a fight with brandy, i had shit for tips, and a really bad night (the bartender was weeping behind the bar and my 15 drinks took 20 minutes, thanks manager!) in which i found myself crying in the back by the dumpster.
monday
it started when i walked in for the first shift. i have a class til 10, so jess picked me, her and dave up slurpees. it was going well. i didn't even mind being a late check on a double. then dave says he's tired and can't do the movie. we know this means we won't go, just because we go as a group, thats how it is. so jess and i are bummed that he's ditching us again for his girlfriend, who by the way, hates jess. daves gf treats him like shit. i try to be supportive, but he has to know that feeling like crap all the time isn't normal. no one should make you that miserable on a daily basis. so yeah, i was bummed. and after my highest tip of the morning being a 12%er, i was less excited for the night shift. after my crying binge, jess and mel allen tell me they're heading to the sharks club. it's 21 after 8 pm. thankfully, joe knows the guy at the door, and they get me in under the knowledge that i don't drink. actually came in handy. this stupid panic! at the disco song comes on jess asks me to text dave and tell him their song is on. dave calls me maybe 20 mintues later and asks me to explain it. i tell him it has something to do with it's the song that he and jess sing in the car all the time. he's fine with the answer, just wanted something to say to his seriously nosy girlfriend when she inevitably reads it. (and for her, all i can say is stop reading his shit if you don't like what it has to say. it's not sent to you, it's not yours, fuck off) it turned into a nice night. always does when we hang out.
tuesday
i'm in class from 1130-415. at 1145 my cell vibrates and i notice it's a call from jess. this is weird, and makes me nervous, cause i know jess is working and we opened 45 minutes ago, which means no real phone use unless you're crafty and desperate. i call her back, telling her i'll call after my last class ends. apparently, dave came in that morning, and told his best friend that he was sick of fighting with angela, so they were through. he doesn't want any contact with people from work outside of work unless it's about work. no phone calls, no movies, no hanging out. she's obviously pissed and upset, and judging by the tone of my voice as i talked to her, i was to. people actually stopped to stare at me as i stood in the cold on the sidewalk where i'd stopped when she'd said the words. we are expendable. and there it was. i have trust issues. that shouldn't be too much of a shocker. given my history, i just don't trust easily. i thought i'd finally gotten it back...those people i can call on the weekends to hang out, to talk, to understand. i felt like i finally had it back. i'd missed it the last 3 years. people need friends and i was in dire need of them. and he says this, breaks it for me. i was so pissed, and hurt, and betrayed. it's my fault, i put too much faith in it. wanting something tends to do that. i trusted and got bit in the ass. i'm really fucking sick of it.
wednesday
i woke early to the sounds of digging in my yard and cursed loundly at the city for yet again using my tax dollars in a way that pissed me off...without notice. i drove kris to school as a favor to mom, and then went to sleep around 7:45. my alarm went off at 830 for my astro class, but i turned it off and slept until 1030. thats when i showered, ran to my parents, grabbed the curling iron, a proceeded to straighten my hair. and let me tell you, it's a lot longer than i thought it was. and i look so weird it's creepy. but it's what i needed to do. last time i felt safe was junior year of high school, and my hair was straight then. it was either that or make over my room. straightening only took 12 minutes.
so thats what happened, and thats where i'm at. i just finished my wish list, and i'm about to get my crap ready for shopping on friday cause the minivan arrives at 9 am. i'm decorating max and erma's tonight, so i'll be there around 10, and leave...oh who knows. but i bet coffee and hot cocoa is involved. and how much do you bet that i can talk someone into making me an andes mints shake behind dan's back? yeah, i have charisma and no one can stand in my way. i'll get someone to take my picture tonight, that way you can all see my blast from the past.
have a great thanksgiving. i plan to. fuck dave for being yet another ass in a long line of them. i don't need those sorts of friends. i've got you. see you all soon.
love emily