what i'm made of
i forgot how it feels. how crushing it can be, how it can completely suffocate you. it's been so long since i worried about money. i can't believe i let it get to this point, but here it is. i spent the greater part of the day working through stacks of debt in terror of the mess i'd created. it's so easy to fall--to fail. i managed to figure out that i have to work more. i can't make the winter if i don't. more shifts, more late nights. i can't take the early outs anymore. i have to stay the full time, and make every dollar i can. no more cooking, it's too expensive. i'll have to invite myself to dinner more often and hope my parents don't notice. i can't afford food. bare necessities. no turning up the heat while i'm home. no shopping for business clothes like i'd hoped to. no meals out. this is a war i can't afford to lose. so to the trenches i will go, no matter how hard or tired i get, i can't stop. it's time to really find out what i'm made of. think i can do it?