recovery ; a long process
well today is sunday, a day or recovering from burn outs and hang overs. lol im just sore all over from not sleepin or eating in like two days. it sucks. but its the price you must pay. well yeh today i woke up early, waked and baked, lol. then it fuckin felt like my roll was comin back, i was like wtf? lol. but yeh felt madd good for like 2 hours. then helped my mom clean and jsut watched some t.v. someone unexpected showed up today. it was bronson. it was nice to see him. we really dont like to talk to each other in public, we just like to chill and talk alone. weve always been like that and if we talk in public its either pickin on each other or flirting in a kind of odd way. lol but it doesnt mean anything anymore. im glad things happened the way the did sometimes cause then i wouldnt have decided to ask mike to be my man, lol. but i wish i didnt do those mean things i did, but we learn from our mistakes to make future things better. and i wont ever cheat on mike, i cant. its not right. well after a little while of talkin my cousin jessy and her baby ryan came over and we played with the baby, lol he kept staring at bronson, i guess cause hes so tall. the baby is so cute. but i usually hate babies, but this one is quiet and it doesnt cry. but after that i was bored so i called mikes and steph answered, talk to her for like almost an hour. then mike got on the phone and made me feel like shit, sigh. id rather not talk about it but i think thats the first time her seriously hurt my feelings that bad. i felt like i wanted to almost die. and im being honest right there. but oh well i guess i have to "get the fuck over it," like he said. sometimes i wonder why guys have to be so mean or just play with your emotions to get your attention. oh well shit happens. then i ate dinner it was ok. my mom made cheese cake and it wasnt that good, but oh well i ate it anyway. then i wrote mike an email cause im a nerd and i have nothing else better to do with my life besides go on myspace and wright in my live journal, and now that i realized how pathetic i really am im gunna go in my room and wait for mike to call if he does, good night