Missing My Friends From Home
I question my place. My friends seem far and in-between different circles scattered throughout campus. I see myself as a hard person to get to know, and a difficult friend to have. I see myself this way because everyone else seems to have it so easily. I watch DJ and all the girls seem to like him and love having him around at parties. Chad’s a wild one who everyone wants to hang out with. Sean came for a visit tonight, and he’s practically a legend. Even Patrick seemed like a more sociable and desired person than I tonight. And nothing against Patrick, but I feel like a loner. I go to these parties and I wish that I could get some attention from somebody. It seems that, past hello, I’m just another face in the crowd. I don’t feel I fit in here, and after 3½ years, it’s starting to wear on me. CA is the only one I feel really wished me to be at the party tonight. I like CA, she’s someone who I feel understands me. I don’t think many people really understand me, and it’s probably my fault. I don’t know why I am the way I am. All I know is that I wish I were like everyone else. The only time I’ve ever wished it, but for once, I wish I weren’t that different.
It’s always a battle for me. I’m just getting too tired to fight it.
It’s always a battle for me. I’m just getting too tired to fight it.