Abusive.
Yes, this has been a crappy week, but somewhat paradoxically, my mother and I have been getting along very well. It's a bit strange, actually.
Tonight she was looking for a book she swears she had with her on the plane home. While digging through stuff, we found our 2010 Census, which is of course very important. So as she kept looking I opened it and started reading. As you may or may not know, the first part tells you, explicitly, "count the amount of people living in your house, apartment, or mobile home. Include any children but do not include people who are in the military, prison, nursing home, or other." (somewhat paraphrased.)
I looked up at her and pointed, saying "Wuh-one..."
She pointed at me, "Twooo..."
"How many people are in the living room?!" we then ran into the living room to find Dad watching a movie and looking at us with a weird look on his face. "THREE! There are three of us!" We crowed proudly. She then stayed and explained. I heard her say something like "didn't want to miscount, you know."
"Oh no! We MISCOUNTED? Great, I have to start all over again!" We then did it all over again, in front of the television screen. Dad somehow didn't seem to think it was as funny. "One, Two... FIVE! No, wait! THREE!" Of course my parents didn't pick up on the Holy Grail reference, but whatever. I then went back to the desk to finish it, mom and I both laughing really too hard.
"You know, no one is going to believe that that just happened. We are retarded."
But not as retarded as I felt when I was filling in person two and switched mom's last name with her first. I asked her if she would consider legally switching them, but she wasn't going for it. Ah well.
And if you think that was something I just made up, you clearly do not know my mother and I.
But before that happened, the best part of the day had been this afternoon, starting at about 11.30. My friend Richard (who I mentioned in the last post) asked me to go to the cafeteria at noon, and he would buy me lunch. All I had to do was be an extra for the film and theater club thing they were filming. Big spender that he is (He gets free meals, apparently) I totally had a real meal at school for the first time ever. And it was actually pretty good. So I gladly became an actress.
Afterward I went to ceramics studio and hung out with Brittany and Austin, doing whatever. (AND! I actually did some WORK! I need to spend some more time there without Anne, apparently.) Richard eventually joined us, as did his shadow shortly thereafter. But not before he told me they were not actually dating. Pooh, I couldn't poke fun at that anymore. When she did join us, she proceeded to give him a couple titty twisters, explain that she had hit him 5 times and bit him once, try to pull his pants off, and then attempted to deafen him. We were a small group of five by then, having been joined by John when Austin left. John, who is usually crazier than a bat, was delightfully normal compared to her abusiveness. It was strange beyond belief, and very uncomfortable for everyone. They left the room at about three or something, and he came back with Rico, the guy who explained to me what Two Girls One Cup was on tuesday.
He was trying to come up with a way to get out of the situation, and one of his excuses he had was 'my family won't allow interracial relationships.' (Lame to the power of 15) I told him I hoped this didn't put him off blonds for good. I gave him a hug and considered telling him he is damn fine and I sure the hell wouldn't bruise his nipples. Maybe tomorrow.
At the very least, I'll make him get me food.
Tonight she was looking for a book she swears she had with her on the plane home. While digging through stuff, we found our 2010 Census, which is of course very important. So as she kept looking I opened it and started reading. As you may or may not know, the first part tells you, explicitly, "count the amount of people living in your house, apartment, or mobile home. Include any children but do not include people who are in the military, prison, nursing home, or other." (somewhat paraphrased.)
I looked up at her and pointed, saying "Wuh-one..."
She pointed at me, "Twooo..."
"How many people are in the living room?!" we then ran into the living room to find Dad watching a movie and looking at us with a weird look on his face. "THREE! There are three of us!" We crowed proudly. She then stayed and explained. I heard her say something like "didn't want to miscount, you know."
"Oh no! We MISCOUNTED? Great, I have to start all over again!" We then did it all over again, in front of the television screen. Dad somehow didn't seem to think it was as funny. "One, Two... FIVE! No, wait! THREE!" Of course my parents didn't pick up on the Holy Grail reference, but whatever. I then went back to the desk to finish it, mom and I both laughing really too hard.
"You know, no one is going to believe that that just happened. We are retarded."
But not as retarded as I felt when I was filling in person two and switched mom's last name with her first. I asked her if she would consider legally switching them, but she wasn't going for it. Ah well.
And if you think that was something I just made up, you clearly do not know my mother and I.
But before that happened, the best part of the day had been this afternoon, starting at about 11.30. My friend Richard (who I mentioned in the last post) asked me to go to the cafeteria at noon, and he would buy me lunch. All I had to do was be an extra for the film and theater club thing they were filming. Big spender that he is (He gets free meals, apparently) I totally had a real meal at school for the first time ever. And it was actually pretty good. So I gladly became an actress.
Afterward I went to ceramics studio and hung out with Brittany and Austin, doing whatever. (AND! I actually did some WORK! I need to spend some more time there without Anne, apparently.) Richard eventually joined us, as did his shadow shortly thereafter. But not before he told me they were not actually dating. Pooh, I couldn't poke fun at that anymore. When she did join us, she proceeded to give him a couple titty twisters, explain that she had hit him 5 times and bit him once, try to pull his pants off, and then attempted to deafen him. We were a small group of five by then, having been joined by John when Austin left. John, who is usually crazier than a bat, was delightfully normal compared to her abusiveness. It was strange beyond belief, and very uncomfortable for everyone. They left the room at about three or something, and he came back with Rico, the guy who explained to me what Two Girls One Cup was on tuesday.
He was trying to come up with a way to get out of the situation, and one of his excuses he had was 'my family won't allow interracial relationships.' (Lame to the power of 15) I told him I hoped this didn't put him off blonds for good. I gave him a hug and considered telling him he is damn fine and I sure the hell wouldn't bruise his nipples. Maybe tomorrow.
At the very least, I'll make him get me food.