Uninspired.
I lulled myself to sleep with this line of thoughts. It's going to be totally crack, but if it makes sense and you have a suggestion, please comment. It is of course, Doctor Who in nature, coupled with my original Science Fiction obsession: Classic Star Wars.
Here's my thinking: Vislor Turlough is Lando Calrissian. Hold on, hear me out.
The Fifth Doctor (Han Solo) realises his warp drive isn't working and he can't make the jump into lightspeed. Or rather, the time rotor isn't working and he can't dematerialise. The Empire, under The Black Guardian (Vader and/or Emperor Palpatine, of course) want him to spring a trap for the young Jedi warrior, Luke. I couldn't really think of who that would be.
They escape under the very nose of the Guardian and try to escape to Cloud City, where the ex-swindler Vislor Turlough runs the mining operations. They are followed by the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, The Master, in full body armor so no one would recognise him. They get there and Turlough is all hey guys what's up? Tegan, being Princess Leia, doesn't like Turlough a whole lot. Nyssa, doing her 'droid thing, wanders off and gets blown apart. If you do not agree that Nyssa is C-3P0 (she is so C-3P0) then K-9 was traveling with them for some reason and she is Chewbacca. (lets face it, that's an insult to the Wookie.)
Turlough would continue being all hoopy and stuff, Tegan would still be making doe eyes at the Doctor, the Doctor would be all dashing and wearing tight pants. Suddenly, oh noes! the black guardian is there, being all jerky. We realise Turlough has betrayed his old friend, the Doctor? It can't be! Tegan and Nyssa are allowed to stay on Cloud City but are confined while the Doctor is being mindlessly tortured and then finally frozen solid to be shipped out to Jabba the Hutt (who may or may not be Davros. Or maybe... someone else really bad. Whatever.) Turlough then reveals he is totally always been on their side, takes Tegan, Nyssa and or K-9 into the TARDIS and leaves, then returns for Luke, whoever he is.
It almost works... but what about this...
A young Turlough is stranded on Tatooine and imagines a life amongst the stars. He recieves two 'droids who claim they belong to a mysterious Theta Sigma. He wonders if this Theta Sigma guy could be related to old Tim Sigma who lives by himself out in the wild. He ends up going and looking for old Tim, who greets him and says that he is Theta Sigma, a Timelord. He then teaches Turlough that he too is a Timelord (erm) and that they must go and help the Rebels. They then meet up with Han and Chewbacca, travel with them, and go to the Death Star where Old Tim fights Davros and is seemingly cut down but somehow survives as pure energy. He meets the beautiful Leia (Peri, I think) and they join up with the Rebels. They then decide to attack Davros and his clone army, find their one weakness and destroys them, but Davros still escapes somehow. Then Turlough meets the strange White Guardian who like this speaks, hmm! (Actually, Yoda reminds me of the First Doctor...) , falls for plot described in the last scenario, saves everyone, finds out Peri is his sister, defeats all the baddies and lives forever, the end.
Okay, so it needs some work... like how I just reduced "Return of the Jedi" to 17 words. But trust me, last night it was the most clever thing ever. I had a third thread, I forget what it was now... I think it was incorporating new series characters, but I do not remember it now. Probably a good thing, actually.
P.S. I FUCKING LOVE TURLOUGH. *squee*
Here's my thinking: Vislor Turlough is Lando Calrissian. Hold on, hear me out.
The Fifth Doctor (Han Solo) realises his warp drive isn't working and he can't make the jump into lightspeed. Or rather, the time rotor isn't working and he can't dematerialise. The Empire, under The Black Guardian (Vader and/or Emperor Palpatine, of course) want him to spring a trap for the young Jedi warrior, Luke. I couldn't really think of who that would be.
They escape under the very nose of the Guardian and try to escape to Cloud City, where the ex-swindler Vislor Turlough runs the mining operations. They are followed by the best bounty hunter in the galaxy, The Master, in full body armor so no one would recognise him. They get there and Turlough is all hey guys what's up? Tegan, being Princess Leia, doesn't like Turlough a whole lot. Nyssa, doing her 'droid thing, wanders off and gets blown apart. If you do not agree that Nyssa is C-3P0 (she is so C-3P0) then K-9 was traveling with them for some reason and she is Chewbacca. (lets face it, that's an insult to the Wookie.)
Turlough would continue being all hoopy and stuff, Tegan would still be making doe eyes at the Doctor, the Doctor would be all dashing and wearing tight pants. Suddenly, oh noes! the black guardian is there, being all jerky. We realise Turlough has betrayed his old friend, the Doctor? It can't be! Tegan and Nyssa are allowed to stay on Cloud City but are confined while the Doctor is being mindlessly tortured and then finally frozen solid to be shipped out to Jabba the Hutt (who may or may not be Davros. Or maybe... someone else really bad. Whatever.) Turlough then reveals he is totally always been on their side, takes Tegan, Nyssa and or K-9 into the TARDIS and leaves, then returns for Luke, whoever he is.
It almost works... but what about this...
A young Turlough is stranded on Tatooine and imagines a life amongst the stars. He recieves two 'droids who claim they belong to a mysterious Theta Sigma. He wonders if this Theta Sigma guy could be related to old Tim Sigma who lives by himself out in the wild. He ends up going and looking for old Tim, who greets him and says that he is Theta Sigma, a Timelord. He then teaches Turlough that he too is a Timelord (erm) and that they must go and help the Rebels. They then meet up with Han and Chewbacca, travel with them, and go to the Death Star where Old Tim fights Davros and is seemingly cut down but somehow survives as pure energy. He meets the beautiful Leia (Peri, I think) and they join up with the Rebels. They then decide to attack Davros and his clone army, find their one weakness and destroys them, but Davros still escapes somehow. Then Turlough meets the strange White Guardian who like this speaks, hmm! (Actually, Yoda reminds me of the First Doctor...) , falls for plot described in the last scenario, saves everyone, finds out Peri is his sister, defeats all the baddies and lives forever, the end.
Okay, so it needs some work... like how I just reduced "Return of the Jedi" to 17 words. But trust me, last night it was the most clever thing ever. I had a third thread, I forget what it was now... I think it was incorporating new series characters, but I do not remember it now. Probably a good thing, actually.
P.S. I FUCKING LOVE TURLOUGH. *squee*