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[surfernut16]

**...have you ever had the uncontrolable urge to dig deep into your chest with your bare hands to ripp out your still beating heart so that you could cut & disect it into little pieces of a pathetic excuse of love, pain & sarrow only hoping to find the answers to why this tiny bloody organ in your hands can so easily produce unimaginable quantities

Comments

[blucheescake]

Hey, you know, its really hard to get up and go to work or anywhere else when you feel like you have nothing, or noone to give to. I do understand that much, and although I don't know the situation you are refering to...I'll be here to listen if you need me to. I gave my cell in your response to my post. And my house call sometime...

[11475lookalike]

i'm so sorry you feel like this right now! i struggled for years and right when i wasn't looking, a beautiful and wonder boy appeared which i am with now! it will get better, honestly if you look at all the people ypu feel in love with, there would be piles. call me 320-3991

[surfernut16]

**...well thanx for the nice but sadly wrong thoughts...you say look at all the poeple ive fell inlove with, not to be mean but i never loved those people...niether did you...we may have thought we did but our conversation now is proof that we didn't, you're in love now, and somebody loves you back...you honestly love brandon, i think thats his name, i nkow you do because i get chills when i read how greatly you care for him...ive never heard anybody talk like that to me...see you may have liked me but you didn't love me, and i know that sounds like a bad thing but it's not, love is the greatest thing anybody could ever experience in thier lifetime, but you have it now! and theres nothing greater than that, im really happy for you...but everyone i think i care about or i think cares about me to the point where i might not be scared to fall in love...all they seem to know how to do is walk into my life, use me as some sort of emotional attachment for whatever stress or drama they may be going through and then walk out, just leaving me

[11475lookalike]

yeah yeah yeah, well after you broke up with me you went out with someone and said no this is love, and you would say that over and over, but i didn't have anyone that whole time. you had girls let and right and i had no one, and now that i waited i found someone who i LOVE because i waited. i'm tring to go against you because your my friend and i care that you hurt but don't think i've never felt like you do now.

[surfernut16]

**...that's not what i was trying to say...i dont feel lonely, or sad because i'm not with anyone....i simply feel betrayed...thats all, and i finally think ive givin up...im pretty much done with all this...tyring, waiting, whatever...ive been giving this alot of thought over the last several months trying not erationize, and freak out or let anything like that get to me...i was being as smart and mature about it as possible, that way when all was settled and done i wouldn't have a doubt in my mind that i've made the right choice...and after all these months of thought and taking it easy, accecpting things for what they are, i've finally decided..about 8 hours ago..that i really just want to give up...because i can't keep doing this...i dunno, i just can't...but i dont waht you to think im saying anything against you because im not...remember after my show when we started getting together more?...you were the one that said you were afraid that i was gonna walk into your life and then find somebody and then fannish like nothing...

[hey.....]

[starsxfall]

hey sean, remember me? i met you when you were with catt. i work at GC with her, and i am good friends with gracie lu.

anyways...i dont really know what you are going through...but i am sorry you feel this way. i may not exactly know what is going through your head..but i can closly relate. infact, im in a relationship now but i find half the time i am worrying too much about the person leaving, or fucking up...that it almost isnt worth the stress. but i dont give up...and neither should you...maybe take a break from relationships, but never give up on love. maybe im just naive, but i beleive youll find it...or maybe you have and you just dont understand it? i dont know...but i sincerely hope, whatever you choose to do, that it makes you happy.

<3ashley

Re: [hey.....]

[pinkpaper_heart]

I don't know what to say but I guess I agree with ashley.Don't give up on relationships I know I was at a time in my life when I wanted to give up I mean the guy i was after left for college and I thought all hope was lost and i'd be alone forever,But I waited and finally it happend we found eachother.But don't give up cause I didn't. I <3 you sean,im here for you,like have been for me in the past on the phone as I was crying and stuff and you were their to talk to me.I love you like a brother kid,I know we havn't talked much in a long time but that needs to change hehe we should get together some time and go to kelly's and have coffe and stuff,take care honey. <3siggy<3

Re: [hey.....]

[surfernut16]

**..well i gues ill reply to both of you...first off, thanx for the kind words...but i honestly dont think this can be changed...i know you 2 care and im thankful for that...but i think im seriously done...i can't imagine seeing my with anyone for any reason anymore...and i guess that the bottom line...all i can say is, i'm not looking, im not wating and i dont want anyone looking for me...honestly you two...with as much meaning as one person can give, when it comes to love and being loved....i really just want to be left alone...and thats what i really want...thanks anyways....**

later.

Re: [hey.....]

[pinkpaper_heart]

.......errr I'll never leave you alone honey.! When you least exspect it I'll be their at your house dragging you to come and hangout hehe.<3