OMGTWILIGHT
EDWARD: OMG BELLA stop trying to get me to tell you my deep dark secrets. WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS!!
BELLA: BUT EDDY-POO, YOU SAVED ME FROM A TRUCK AND WE ARE SO OBVIOUSLY MEANT TO BE TOGETHER BECAUSE I DREAM OF YOU AND SHIT.
EDWARD: BUT I'M DANGEROUS!!!!! *stalks off...sexily*
BELLA: WTF are you talking about??? *goes to ponder his every move/word/expression for PAGES AND PAGES*
*EDWARD returns*
EDWARD: BELLA, I'VE DECIDED TO PRETTY MUCH STALK YOU. LET'S BE FRIENDS!
BELLA: YOU SAID WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS, ASSHAT.
EDWARD: ....I lied?
BELLA: You are SO LUCKY that you're sexy.
EDWARD: Don't you mean DAZZLING??
BELLA: ?
EDWARD: Oh, that doesn't come up till later...SPOILERS OMG! Anyway, let's go to Seattle TOGETHER. After I get ALL of the boys in the school to ask you to ask them to the dance that you don't want to go to anyway, 'cause you're clumsy.
BELLA: WTF?! *ponders in a very ponder-y way* Sure.
--and scene--
Next day at school...
EDWARD: BELLA SIT WITH ME INSTEAD OF YOUR STUPID-ASS FRIENDS WHOSE NAMES YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HALF THE TIME ANYWAY.
BELLA: I thought you said to stay away from you...WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
EDWARD: I don't care anymore. You SHOULD stay away from me, though. BUT I'M TOTALLY GONNA STALK YOU, FYI.
READER: What...the fuck?
And that's as far as I've read at the moment.
ETA:
Just got to the SPARKLING bit.
Edward Cullen has the mood swings of a pregnant woman with multiple personality disorder.
BELLA: BUT EDDY-POO, YOU SAVED ME FROM A TRUCK AND WE ARE SO OBVIOUSLY MEANT TO BE TOGETHER BECAUSE I DREAM OF YOU AND SHIT.
EDWARD: BUT I'M DANGEROUS!!!!! *stalks off...sexily*
BELLA: WTF are you talking about??? *goes to ponder his every move/word/expression for PAGES AND PAGES*
*EDWARD returns*
EDWARD: BELLA, I'VE DECIDED TO PRETTY MUCH STALK YOU. LET'S BE FRIENDS!
BELLA: YOU SAID WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS, ASSHAT.
EDWARD: ....I lied?
BELLA: You are SO LUCKY that you're sexy.
EDWARD: Don't you mean DAZZLING??
BELLA: ?
EDWARD: Oh, that doesn't come up till later...SPOILERS OMG! Anyway, let's go to Seattle TOGETHER. After I get ALL of the boys in the school to ask you to ask them to the dance that you don't want to go to anyway, 'cause you're clumsy.
BELLA: WTF?! *ponders in a very ponder-y way* Sure.
--and scene--
Next day at school...
EDWARD: BELLA SIT WITH ME INSTEAD OF YOUR STUPID-ASS FRIENDS WHOSE NAMES YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HALF THE TIME ANYWAY.
BELLA: I thought you said to stay away from you...WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
EDWARD: I don't care anymore. You SHOULD stay away from me, though. BUT I'M TOTALLY GONNA STALK YOU, FYI.
READER: What...the fuck?
And that's as far as I've read at the moment.
ETA:
Just got to the SPARKLING bit.
Edward Cullen has the mood swings of a pregnant woman with multiple personality disorder.