Part II of Today.. O.o
I'm going to write some more, because I am bored, upset, depressed, angry, and .. just like everything.. I will ramble on, because I can, it's my journal and i'll do whatever the fuck I want to =) lol.. Jeremy just sent me an e-mail repling to "What time will you be on tonight?" And he replied "B4 9" lmao, I thought he was talking about a formula.. I'm strange.. ya I know. Um.. Yeah.. OKay.. What to talk about now..
I don't want to lose him! Blah.. I can't get my mind off of this.. and I probably never will until things ever get settled! I told my mom about it, I almost started crying.. She can tell i'm depressed, cuz when I came home, and I told her about my exam paper.. I was crying.. I don't mean to cry.. specially over something like that, but Gah.. oh well. Life goes on .. I think. Um.. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT KISSING HIM NOW GODDAMNIT .. Thats all I can picture right now! I know I haven' kissed him in awhile.. but.. it's like my heart knew something was wrong.. but they werent.. and I dont' get it. I don't understand myself any more. I hold a grudge against everything, and I need to get over it all! I have to stop thinking these stop damn things, that mean NOTHING. Gah.. I just want to hug him to death right now, have a few cries, then look into his eyes and see that he loves me, and let me show him I love him and to kiss him deeply again! But that is not going to happen any time soon :'( LIFE STINKS! or I've lost it. Eh. Um. Life sucks... Why Christmas time? :( Tiz not fair! Gah, I am glad I have friends that hold me together.. Greg.. Tiffany.. and Andrea.. but Andrea has her own problems.. so yeah. Blah blah blah blah.
I guess I am excited for winterfest now.. Just because I want to get dressed up. It's fun.. Spending 6 hours.. or more.. just to get ready for 3 hours! It's insane. I still don't know who i'm going to hang out with.. because.. blah. Preps or people I don't like! that's my only choice, but the preps don't like me, since I tell them the truth all the time.. so therefore if one of them hates you, they all do! Losers =\ then There's.. people I just hang out with to .. have someone to talk to in school. But I don't know! Chad and his g/f won't be there, Heidi doesn't go to Madison any more.. OMG Maybe hse might be there! Ehh! I'll talk to Amanda. That would be awesome! Thats who I hung out with last year.. And stupid Chad, cuz he wouldn't let me do anything else! :( But i'm going to take pictures this year.. n i'mma take the camera to Meijer and get the film developed.. and on to a disc.. I just realized.. John has absolutely no idea where I live.. I honestly think he is going to blow me off. That's okay though. I don't care..
eh.. I had HOSTS today.. I always get stuck with little bratty boys! Last time I did HOSTS I had Sergio Galvan, and I find out he's Joels brother.. no wonder he was a jerk =\ Then.. now I have Gabe.. He's a brat too! We did these little ornament craft thingies.. And.. He is a good listener and stuff, but.. he's a brat when he wantst o be.. When we were done with crafts, we let them pick a book, and we had to read it to them. Well.. he picked out Frost the Snowman and.. I was reading it, and he just started yelling out the song after I finished reading, every single page! It was really annoying =\ It's so strange too.. I am the oldest of the students, and i'm taller than everyone, even Mrs. Betz and the other teacher lady.. Can't prounounce her name.. ehh It's insane =\ blah.. I am not thinking straight today! Ehh..
I won't talk, I won't breathe
I won't move, till you finally seee
THat you belong with me..
You might think, I don't look,
But deep inside the corner of my mind
i'm attached to you.. mmmm..
I"m weak.. it's true..
'Cuz I'm afraid to know the answer..
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life..
To cross this line.. To the only thing that's true
SO I will not hide, it's time to try.. Any thing
To be with you.. All my live i've waited..
This is true.. You don't know
What you do.. Every time you walk into the
room.. I"m aafraid to move..
I"m weak.. it's true. I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too? Do you even know you met me?
I've waited all my life, to cross this line..
To the only thing that's true..
SO I will not hide, It's time to try
Anything to be with you..
All my life i've waited.. this true
I know when I go, i'll be on my way to you..
I don't want to lose him! Blah.. I can't get my mind off of this.. and I probably never will until things ever get settled! I told my mom about it, I almost started crying.. She can tell i'm depressed, cuz when I came home, and I told her about my exam paper.. I was crying.. I don't mean to cry.. specially over something like that, but Gah.. oh well. Life goes on .. I think. Um.. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT KISSING HIM NOW GODDAMNIT .. Thats all I can picture right now! I know I haven' kissed him in awhile.. but.. it's like my heart knew something was wrong.. but they werent.. and I dont' get it. I don't understand myself any more. I hold a grudge against everything, and I need to get over it all! I have to stop thinking these stop damn things, that mean NOTHING. Gah.. I just want to hug him to death right now, have a few cries, then look into his eyes and see that he loves me, and let me show him I love him and to kiss him deeply again! But that is not going to happen any time soon :'( LIFE STINKS! or I've lost it. Eh. Um. Life sucks... Why Christmas time? :( Tiz not fair! Gah, I am glad I have friends that hold me together.. Greg.. Tiffany.. and Andrea.. but Andrea has her own problems.. so yeah. Blah blah blah blah.
I guess I am excited for winterfest now.. Just because I want to get dressed up. It's fun.. Spending 6 hours.. or more.. just to get ready for 3 hours! It's insane. I still don't know who i'm going to hang out with.. because.. blah. Preps or people I don't like! that's my only choice, but the preps don't like me, since I tell them the truth all the time.. so therefore if one of them hates you, they all do! Losers =\ then There's.. people I just hang out with to .. have someone to talk to in school. But I don't know! Chad and his g/f won't be there, Heidi doesn't go to Madison any more.. OMG Maybe hse might be there! Ehh! I'll talk to Amanda. That would be awesome! Thats who I hung out with last year.. And stupid Chad, cuz he wouldn't let me do anything else! :( But i'm going to take pictures this year.. n i'mma take the camera to Meijer and get the film developed.. and on to a disc.. I just realized.. John has absolutely no idea where I live.. I honestly think he is going to blow me off. That's okay though. I don't care..
eh.. I had HOSTS today.. I always get stuck with little bratty boys! Last time I did HOSTS I had Sergio Galvan, and I find out he's Joels brother.. no wonder he was a jerk =\ Then.. now I have Gabe.. He's a brat too! We did these little ornament craft thingies.. And.. He is a good listener and stuff, but.. he's a brat when he wantst o be.. When we were done with crafts, we let them pick a book, and we had to read it to them. Well.. he picked out Frost the Snowman and.. I was reading it, and he just started yelling out the song after I finished reading, every single page! It was really annoying =\ It's so strange too.. I am the oldest of the students, and i'm taller than everyone, even Mrs. Betz and the other teacher lady.. Can't prounounce her name.. ehh It's insane =\ blah.. I am not thinking straight today! Ehh..
I won't talk, I won't breathe
I won't move, till you finally seee
THat you belong with me..
You might think, I don't look,
But deep inside the corner of my mind
i'm attached to you.. mmmm..
I"m weak.. it's true..
'Cuz I'm afraid to know the answer..
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life..
To cross this line.. To the only thing that's true
SO I will not hide, it's time to try.. Any thing
To be with you.. All my live i've waited..
This is true.. You don't know
What you do.. Every time you walk into the
room.. I"m aafraid to move..
I"m weak.. it's true. I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too? Do you even know you met me?
I've waited all my life, to cross this line..
To the only thing that's true..
SO I will not hide, It's time to try
Anything to be with you..
All my life i've waited.. this true
I know when I go, i'll be on my way to you..