(no subject)
Okay that's it. I've had it. I am someone you can come to with your problems, I am there whenever possible. But sometimes I HAVE PROBLEMS TOO. So don't bloody well think you are the only one. I've had it with bull shit about girls, BLOODY WELL GET OVER IT. I don't care how many people are going to hate me after reading this, not like they take the bloody time for it anyway, because that would get in the way of wallowing in self-pity, wouldn't it? I've had it with stuff about being depressed when people aren't, and I've had it with every stupid little problem you all have. I am done with being there for all of you when there are just one or two people who actually get that I am human too, and so I have the same problems. I don't want to hear anything about anything or anyone. I DON'T CARE ANYWAY. Could just everyone bloody well leave me alone for once? I'm trying to keep myself in check, which is harder then it seems, just so I wont run myself into the ground because I'm in a relationship, and I like it, and I love him, and it takes all my effort to not be myself and fuck it up, because I would break down if I knew it's my fault if it does, god forbid, go wrong. I would break anyway, but I know I can beat the one thing which was standing in my way for all these years. This is the first time I'm trying, and the first time it's working. But that doesn't mean it's any easier. I know that if I do the same thing as I have done for all these years, I'm going to die again, and I have only just been brought back to life. So keep your sad stories to yourself, I don't want to hear them. I am not a crisis centre and I am not just alive for you. I am hear for me and something else, something I do not know yet, but it can't be just this. I have locked myself up for too many years, and it is time to release me into this world again. Not everyone will like it and a lot of them will leave, but I have nothing to lose except for him, and he has already seen me in very bad moods, so I don't think he will. Otherwise I wouldn't risk it. I am doing this so I wont lose him, not to do the opposite. I don't care who of my so-called friends I risk to lose, the ones who will stay are the ones who are truly friends.
All for today, for I'm going out. Good day everyone, and have a nice weekend. I know I will.
All for today, for I'm going out. Good day everyone, and have a nice weekend. I know I will.