Sep 13, 2005 00:39
To get back to three weeks ago, when I wrote the bit about the 'experiment' I was going to do, I must say it was not needed to get an answer. The two weeks I was gone, I had constant messages telling me they missed me, or at least, one said that and the other didn't, but still missed me, for I know him, so I am sure of that. The night I came back, I went to the bar immediatly because I had been miserable for two weeks, just missing one guy. We were a couple before the end of that evening. I am in love, something I have never been before, which is absolutely scary as hell, but I have not wanted to run out on him yet, and I know that if that feeling ever appears this is the time I can kill it, because I don't want to ever leave him or let him go. I love him, and it's scary, and it's new and it's wonderfull and it's going to last as long as possible and it's not going to be my fault if we ever do break up. I love him with all my heart and the whole world may know. Just because this is not something I do on a regular basis, and I am happy in a way I have never felt before, and even though the smile and the butterflies are highly annoying to me and others, and even scary to some, because they had never seen me that way, but every time I see him all my worries, all the pain I had for years, and all my fears about him leaving me are erased, for only he can calm me down, and only he can make me feel like I am someone and I am worth it after all.