Don't move so far away, I'll miss you far too much...
So today... the year 11's left! And I didn't even manage to have my last cigarette at school with them all at break cos I had to go an see if Tina had finished her Drama Exam to go to the councillor! Nooo. So, went 1st period to her. My councillor I mean. I told her about the nightmares about my Dad leaving reoccuring and how I was only 2 but remember it all that day. I didn't tell her about the abuse side of things, and I definately didn't tell her about the other nightmare about my Uncle. I told her loads of stuff anyway and it didn't help one bit. I said I felt guilty cos I feel like my Dad would love to emigrate to South Africa, but has always said, he'd never move abroad cos of missing me. To make things worse she said that when I'm 16 he might feel like it's time to emigrate. Thanks. I cried. I cried for all sorts of reasons. In the end I went and had to go to the end of P.E. I couldn't even muster up a smile and no one even said anything to me but I was glad, just wanting to be alone. I went and got changed and played a bit of rounders, disappointing everyone when I didn't get a rounder. When we went in to get changed Sarah Voodoo Gaffey was ripping me to pieces. Saying that she could find a happier person at a funeral, asking where I was and telling me to bloody cheer up. I so almost hit her, and April for laughing in my face. I just told her to piss off, got ready, and went without a word. That's when I went to find Tina, turning out she couldn't go see the councillor so I walked to my exam, really wishing I had gone for a fag. I had a Sociology exam. Went crap. All I could hear was year 11 shouting and screaming. It was 12pm and they had left. It was so incredibly sad lol! It was like the end of an era! The end of the smoker's corner after over 10 years! Now there is like Sophia, Gabby, me, and a load of chavs, that's IT! Lol. Went to dinner, then had a food exam and that went crap too. Glad to be home though. Determined to try and have a good night. Even though it's gonna be spent alone. Gonna go and drink to year 11's now. So many fucking cool times with them! 1. Smokers' Corner 2. The Protest 3. The Man Dragging The Huge Tree 4. Refusing To Sell Chavs Cigarettes and 5. So So So Many More Memories Which I'll Never Ever Forget!!! x Lottie x