Why can't saturday just be tommorow?...
I was ready to put a happy update today... but since my Mum got home... I'm down again grrr. I've had so many ups and downs today. First I had English, where our teacher told us four people would be moved down a set... great. Meaning me. It's the only fucking top set I'm in. Then I had Sociology where I did fuck all. Then at break had a fag and then everyone seemed really high rate. I read a letter that April wrote for Barry basically saying all the stuff she once said in a letter to me, but adding bitches about me... I got high rate then too. Then we had a Maths Calculator exam which was hard but easier than the other one. Came out, again, had a fag, and by this time, everyone was even MORE high rate. Like really angry. So was I cos of my exam, April, and Edward. Then all hell kicked off, Edward and April came over and he said how Barry was pissing him off today and I shouted at him that he pisses us off everyday and that he doesn't deserve any friends after he gave a guy head whilst going out with Barry! Then him and Barry had a massive argument about everything to do with April always shouting at her for no reason and Edward pissing us all off etc etc etc. Fucking cunts. And THEN to top it all off, the stupid fuckers both went to the park to skive the English exam. I really was gonna grass on them just cos of how mad I was but then I just thought, fuck it, if they wanna fail and get into trouble that's their problem. Yeah I'm not innocent. I've skived, but not in an exam! And it's like, April thinks Edward's so cool, so has started smoking and skiving with him and it's like, "what the fuck are you doing?" They both think themselves so cool when it's not at all. Smokings stupid and so is skiving, even if I do them both, at least I can admit it and say I'm ashamed. So then after school I just couldn't wait to get away. And when the bus came I was okay again but then my Mum got home, shouted at me, and now I'm back in a fucking mood again. Year 11's are leaving tommorow and going to Wollaton Park to get absolutely pissed and high out their heads. I totally wanna go aswell but who knows. I have nowhere to go tommorow night! Like the first friday night in weeks! So looks like I'll be drowning my sorrows on my own. Saturday night I'll be going to a party, which I've already talked about. Sunday, who knows. Then 4 and a half more days till half term and going to my Dad's. Can't wait to get away. Can't wait to pull my vodka out of it's hiding place tonight, whilst having a relaxing bath. Trust me... I need it lol. Hmmm, I hope Andrew's okay... and Simon, haven't talked to him in like, so damn long! Should get his email address. God, I can't wait till this time next year. I wish I were leaving school this year! x Lottie x