Jun 26, 2005 20:26
I'm gonna put all of what I just told James down and more. Start from friday. I rushed home from school, as I wanted to get out as soon as possible. Got ready and was out by 5pm. Got the bus at 5:10pm (being totally precise aren't I? Well no one really reads this anyway haha). Went to Spar to get coke and walked across the road when the 6 came which I totally didn't realise you could get from there, I've always walked to the square - duhhh lol. So as I was on that I drank quite a lot of Malibu or Coconut liquer of some sort. I hate coconuts but it wasn't that bad. Got to the Avenue and was quite drunk, walked across the park and saw Denise and Claire in the distance. I did my run that I do for a laugh, I call it the Kermit The Frog run haha, and they did the same. I gave Denise the biggest hug in the world. I haven't seen or spoke to her in so long cos of shit that's happened but I never realised how much I missed her. Never realised how much she's always been there for me no matter what. Never realised I did to her, what Jacob and Tom W are doing to me. Not that it isn't my fault cos it is but you know what I mean... I never wanted to let her go. Then I hugged Claire too and we started walking. It's wierd how open me and Denise can be. Like I don't think I'd have the guts to talk about how glad I was someone made up with me to their face and stuff I don't know why, it's just me. But me and her were totally talking about it and stuff and were cool about it. We walked to hers and I had a well needed fag lol. We got to hers and the deal was we were all gonna go down to the hook at around 7:30pm as her parents would be back at 8pm. I saw Kat and loads of other people. And some people I had just met. I was really drunk by this point and felt well harsh cos I saw someone wave at me and I looked away pretending not to see cos I was so shy lol. It turned out to be Joe. Anyway, I went upstairs cos Claire wanted me to meet the other Jade or someone did anyway lol. We went upstairs and she was quite shocked to find me just hugging her saying, "I don't know you but hey, I'm pretty drunk lol" and at that point. Denises Mum was at the top of the stairs. I was like... shit lol. I said, "hi" really sheepishly and went downstairs telling the others who already knew lol. The thing was, there was so many empty bottles of various alcohols lol so we all rushed out with a bag of our rubbish and walked to the hook. Before we got there I asked Chinese Alice if she'd buy me some fags. She said yeah and I said something like, "I'll give you money" and then said, "haha, oh yeah Alice, be my prostitute, you gotta stand on the corner!" and she did hahaha and did a dance for me then went to buy my fags. I love her SO much, I well needed them lol. We all walked to the hook and I started talking to everyone including Joe and Offie who's really funny. He was drunk and riding a bike haha. We got there and just hung out. Me, Claire and Denise went to the piss bush which I experienced for the first time haha. It's totally fun! It's just this bush that everyone goes to when they're in the park cos there are no toilets. We came back and I found Claire's jacket which I lay my head on. Then Joe wanted it too so I shared it and then Offie from behind said, "do you like him?" hahaha. I felt SO awful. Cos I just went, "NO!" really shocked cos I wasn't expecting it and afterwards I felt awful lol. Anyway, the night progressed and I was absolutely hammered it was great. Amy texted me a few times and I kept showing Joe what she said and what I said back lol cos I knew he wouldn't say anything. I told him stuff had happened. Me and Joe got really close and just kept hugging and stuff. We were both battered so who knows. I gave Tom C a massive talk lol about how I think him and Emily should get back together and stuff and how, "I know I used to fancy you absolutely loads but I love it how I can say you're totally hott without meaning more than that and loving you as a friend and loving your company." Lol, cos it IS good, it's great. It's the same with Nicholas and a few others but they just probably think I fancy them cos they don't know me as well lol. I had a great time with him and he was really sweet. It's funny cos while I was having a fag outside at Denises, he was sat right next to me but didn't talk till I did. I think there might always be that thing there between us two cos stuff's happened so maybe he just feels awkward until I talk to him and we're pissed or whatever. Joe hurt his ankle and it now turns out he can't put weight on it at all damnit lol bless him. I TRIED to look after him hehe. Anyway, me and Joe went over to this bench away from everyone and I just sorta lay on him and he wrapped his arms around me. It was totally sweet. I half fell asleep but then Claire and Rob walked over and Rob was like, "I think she passed out =/" and Claire was like, "she hasn't" and everyone was like, "no I really think she has =/" haha but Claire just kept saying, "she hasn't". She totally knows me cos I really was just lay there half asleep but listening and thinking, "man, this is the comfort I totally love, falling asleep battered out of my face, in someones arms, who actually likes me". It was a really good feeling. I laughed out loud and then a load of people walked up to us. They were totally cool and really nice. I kept forgetting who was who but I remember Sophie cos I spent most time with her. A load of the new girls and me went to the piss bush but it was (literally) piss-logged haha so we went round the side. And my trousers are hard to do up so about 3 of the new girls had to try and do them up lmao. They had known me for 10 minutes and were doing up my trousers. Hardcore lol. I don't care, they are girls, man I'm too open with girls sometimes =P. One of them had the brightest light on their phone it was un-natural lol. Anyway, we stumbled back saying how good it was we had all met each other and I told them that I thought their friend Ben was hott lol. Bless him, this other guy (the only other guy with like 7 girls haha) was so camp it was great. He was called Luke I think. We hung out a bit more and then Claire said we had to go doh =(. That sucked, but fair enough, her parents wanted her home. So I said bye to Joe with a huge hug, we didn't get off lol. Which was actually suprising looking at how close we were and how drunk we both were but I'm glad we didn't. It's like, I'll always have a place for Tom W in my heart I really will, I feel I'll always be heartbroken over him, and wish it was him more than anyone else but I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year and have just been completely messed up so maybe this is the kinda thing I need. I don't know, either way I'm taking it slow. I don't want to be hurt all over again you know? I'm just going to see what happens. Especially as I don't even know if I like him yet, I've only just met him. But anyway, I asked Sophie to ask him what he thought of me, you'll find out in the next entry lol. So me Offie, Claire and Rob started home. I kept having to tell Offie to stay back and, "give them some time alone" lol. It was strange seeing her so close with someone. I don't know why, just cos I guess we are so close ourselves. Anyway, they stopped to say goodnight cos Rob was home so me and Offie walked past. When Claire caught us up she said she had got off with him. Offie was really suprised cos he said Rob had never gotten off with a girl before so I think Claire was a bit shocked but pleased. Anyway, we all said what a great night it was and then Offie said it was the first time he'd got drunk. I thought that was WELL sweet lol. He seems so open and funny and stuff. Not the type for it to be his first time drinking. I don't know why, maybe it was his cheeky, funny personality but I just saw him as a guy that took drugs and got drunk but obviously not which makes him really sweet lol. Not that taking drugs and drinking is bad, it's your own damn choice you know? I'm gonna get him to come out with us more just cos he seemed to have a good time and he's a great laugh. I don't think he's had a girlfriend either before although I couldn't see why as he's not bad looking and he's lovely lol. Anyway we were going different ways and I told him to take care getting home as he wasn't used to bieng drunk and wanted to make sure he'd be okay on his own. He said he'd take care and he told us too and we said we would as we've walked back to Claire's together at night loads on our own. Anyway, after that I can't even remember walking home much I just remember being in Claire's room lol. We shared a bottle of wine (okay Lambrini, let's not give it a classy name of wine haha, it isn't too bad when you're battered anyway lol) and talked about the night. We had a laugh and talked about having a 'double date' with her, Rob, me and Joe hahaha. It turned out I even texted Joe and asked him if he was up for it hahaha. Oh well, let's see how that goes. Oh yeah. When we were at Denises I had some of my Italian spirit that I got in March! I haven't had any up until now cos it's such a small bottle, and I don't know when I'll be going back there so wanted to save it lol. It's 30% alcohol, hardcore! Haha. I can't remember much about that night... I don't know if stuff happened between me and Claire or not. I think it did but hey. I'm not about to ask her lol. It's something we do but never talk about it you know? Anyway, I'm putting this daddy of an entry in memories haha. So I'll stop there and write saturday and today in another entry as they were pretty crap. I want more nights like that in the summer definately. I'm definately gonna sort stuff out like that in the summer holidays cos I plan to have a fucking good time =). x Lottie x