bitch, PLEASE.
I keep getting into these fruitless scuffles with my mom. In actuality, they are not fights because she uses irrelevant information as comebacks. They mostly consist of me calling her out on all the grief she gives me, and her denying everything and including a reference from something that happened like 15 years ago because ONLY SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS YOUR MOM CAN BEAR A GRUDGE SINCE YOU WERE 7.....
Long story short - while we were in Shanghai, my mother became obsessed with this 4/5 year old girl in our sightseeing group. To be honest, I don't like young children..mainly because I've never really interacted with them so I don't know how to communicate with someone of that age. I feel really uncomfortable around them because I'm self conscious about the things I say and of course, you really have to be careful with your words with them. But that's irrelevant, I just felt so abandoned by that woman. For like...5 of the 7 days we were there, she was constantly playing games with that kid and buying her snacks and crap like that. I'm NOT jealous that she got so much attention from my mom...who is a dumb bitch anyways. But I did really resent her because that time was supposed to be for us to bond since our relationship has not been so great in the past decade or so. And I really wanted to slap her in the bloody face for fucking it all up, not for me but for US. AS A FUCKING GODDAMNED "FAMILY".
Okay, having said all that, I've made peace with her immense douchebaggery, but what continues to puzzle me is why she would come back to Canada and tell all our relatives about how I was "jealous of a 5 year old in Shanghai because she was getting more attention".....Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her? What in hell makes her think I am "jealous"?? Jealous that my dumb bitch of a mom is not talking to me? I think that's a welcome change, as I wouldn't want someone who is genuinely stupid and who has a terrible personality around me. I've realized that she has this personality trait that always seeks absolution from others. She always wants to be told that she's right, because it makes her feel less anxiety I guess. Even if what she says is not true or if she insults me right in front of other people, she doesn't know that she's doing it and it just really angers me because I'd like to think that she's not out of stupidity. I'd like to think that she is indeed NOT a complete idiot, because who would do that to their own child? The only other reason for that is because she is a BITCH....so which is it, or is it both?
I am thoroughly convinced that it is both.
I mean it sincerely from my black little heart when I say this. Every day, I wish she never gave birth to me. If I knew that my life would be like this, I would have just strangled myself with my umbilical cord before I had a chance to experience the world's painful grip around my life. Only someone as dumb and ignorant as her would still have me...
Long story short - while we were in Shanghai, my mother became obsessed with this 4/5 year old girl in our sightseeing group. To be honest, I don't like young children..mainly because I've never really interacted with them so I don't know how to communicate with someone of that age. I feel really uncomfortable around them because I'm self conscious about the things I say and of course, you really have to be careful with your words with them. But that's irrelevant, I just felt so abandoned by that woman. For like...5 of the 7 days we were there, she was constantly playing games with that kid and buying her snacks and crap like that. I'm NOT jealous that she got so much attention from my mom...who is a dumb bitch anyways. But I did really resent her because that time was supposed to be for us to bond since our relationship has not been so great in the past decade or so. And I really wanted to slap her in the bloody face for fucking it all up, not for me but for US. AS A FUCKING GODDAMNED "FAMILY".
Okay, having said all that, I've made peace with her immense douchebaggery, but what continues to puzzle me is why she would come back to Canada and tell all our relatives about how I was "jealous of a 5 year old in Shanghai because she was getting more attention".....Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with her? What in hell makes her think I am "jealous"?? Jealous that my dumb bitch of a mom is not talking to me? I think that's a welcome change, as I wouldn't want someone who is genuinely stupid and who has a terrible personality around me. I've realized that she has this personality trait that always seeks absolution from others. She always wants to be told that she's right, because it makes her feel less anxiety I guess. Even if what she says is not true or if she insults me right in front of other people, she doesn't know that she's doing it and it just really angers me because I'd like to think that she's not out of stupidity. I'd like to think that she is indeed NOT a complete idiot, because who would do that to their own child? The only other reason for that is because she is a BITCH....so which is it, or is it both?
I am thoroughly convinced that it is both.
I mean it sincerely from my black little heart when I say this. Every day, I wish she never gave birth to me. If I knew that my life would be like this, I would have just strangled myself with my umbilical cord before I had a chance to experience the world's painful grip around my life. Only someone as dumb and ignorant as her would still have me...