Setting the record straight.
In case anyone was wondering, when you own a business, you don't get sick days. If any one calls in sick, you cover the shift even if you're "too sick to work" leaving to see your dying grandmother is no excuse in the world of business, and the world doesn't stop if you get depressed or lonely.
I still manage to keep my additude boyant and friendly not only because that is my nature but also because I can't afford to fail. If This business goes under I will be left with nothing but a lot of insurmountable debt, no house and hopefully my marriage.
My barren uterus aint gonna pay the bills! If I have no children, no money, no chance at a life as an artist at least I can have a career. It's a gamble I'm making cause I believe in my self. It is a selfish endeavor. Yes.
If this makes me a bad friend cause I don't have time to hang out, party, reply to your LJ entries, come to your shows, phone often, or other wise participate in the luxury of a life that requires free time I apologize, but I have to keep trucking no matter what.
I miss the days of leisure I used to take for granted. I miss talking on the phone for purposes other than customer service.
I've missed the first year of my nephews life, been left out of all the fun extra cirricular stuff, had to leave school and quit yoga, gained 20 lbs,stuggled with depression that makes me want to escape any way possible. I'm going to sacrifice sleep to go to the gym, but not to party. I cannot facilitate!
I miss my cats, my mum, my studio, my bathtub and my friends.
I miss financial security. I long for the days I ddin't have to worry about the money this place is hemoraging. I wish I didn't have to agonize over firing soemone I totally adore becuase they aren't fulfilling their responsibilities as an employee. I wish it was easier to find willing and able staff.
I'm incapable of bending backwards and going out of my way to accomodate others when I can't even get a visit in the downtown shop I am in 4-6 days a week for 9 -12 hours a day. I'm tired of rejected invitations, "you should" advice and envy.
Yes. I have it good, but I'm earning it.
Yes, this is a dream come true but it's not glamourous.
Yes, I intend to be part of the social world again one day but for now, I need to focus on my income and my health, cause without those, I'll never be able to afford music tickets/gear/ icelandic lessons, travel, or other luxuries that I would like to enjoy.
I make my charitable dontations, I help my friends when they're in a pinch and I have lots of love to give. It's not up to me how it comes back, but I know it will.
I still manage to keep my additude boyant and friendly not only because that is my nature but also because I can't afford to fail. If This business goes under I will be left with nothing but a lot of insurmountable debt, no house and hopefully my marriage.
My barren uterus aint gonna pay the bills! If I have no children, no money, no chance at a life as an artist at least I can have a career. It's a gamble I'm making cause I believe in my self. It is a selfish endeavor. Yes.
If this makes me a bad friend cause I don't have time to hang out, party, reply to your LJ entries, come to your shows, phone often, or other wise participate in the luxury of a life that requires free time I apologize, but I have to keep trucking no matter what.
I miss the days of leisure I used to take for granted. I miss talking on the phone for purposes other than customer service.
I've missed the first year of my nephews life, been left out of all the fun extra cirricular stuff, had to leave school and quit yoga, gained 20 lbs,stuggled with depression that makes me want to escape any way possible. I'm going to sacrifice sleep to go to the gym, but not to party. I cannot facilitate!
I miss my cats, my mum, my studio, my bathtub and my friends.
I miss financial security. I long for the days I ddin't have to worry about the money this place is hemoraging. I wish I didn't have to agonize over firing soemone I totally adore becuase they aren't fulfilling their responsibilities as an employee. I wish it was easier to find willing and able staff.
I'm incapable of bending backwards and going out of my way to accomodate others when I can't even get a visit in the downtown shop I am in 4-6 days a week for 9 -12 hours a day. I'm tired of rejected invitations, "you should" advice and envy.
Yes. I have it good, but I'm earning it.
Yes, this is a dream come true but it's not glamourous.
Yes, I intend to be part of the social world again one day but for now, I need to focus on my income and my health, cause without those, I'll never be able to afford music tickets/gear/ icelandic lessons, travel, or other luxuries that I would like to enjoy.
I make my charitable dontations, I help my friends when they're in a pinch and I have lots of love to give. It's not up to me how it comes back, but I know it will.