(no subject)
basically, men's club was such a bust that i cannot even express it in words. at least i got a cute tshirt, right? riiiight. i am currently undergoing a re-evaluation of my friendships, and things aren't looking too favorable. people haven't been acting the same towards me, and their behavior is shocking and upsetting. oh well, right? it's just strange how i feel like everything has changed in a fairly short amount of time. there's been a reaffirmation of my doubts and feelings about staying friends with certain people after may. the way things have been going down lately haven't been pointing me in a good direction. i guess people change, and there's nothing you can do about it. i've just been remembering certain things from the past mixed with current goings-on, and it's just becoming more and more obvious that, perhaps things just weren't meant to be. there just seems to be a smaller and smaller number of people who actually listen to me and care about what i'm feeling. who actually ask me questions and inquire about me and my life. and i feel horrible because i doubted the friendship of this person, when in actuality, he's the only one that looks after me and cares for me. he's the one that has actually always been here for me whenever i have needed him. when i talk to him about my problems, he doesn't turn it around and make it about himself. he listens, truly listens. and he gives me advice. he tells me when he disagrees, but he allows me to make my own decisions. he is everything that i look for in a friend. he is what i strive to be. and he's leaving. we're all leaving. i feel like i'm the only one who realizes that we're leaving for college really soon. nobody wants to talk about it, but it's happening. really soon. really really soon. nothing will ever be the same. we aren't ever going to be kids again. we have to live our own lives and work for things ourselves. no more blaming others for our mistakes. it's called responsibility. who's ready for the challenge? i for one, am so freaking excited, but i'm so nervous too. oh well i guess i better get back to work and restocking and all that jazz... just a little food for thought. and a little of my rantings.