Always Attract (Chapter 73)
*Okay all! And we're back! I want to warn all of you. We are coming up on angst. Unfortunately, there has to be. Luke and Reid need to lay all of their cards out on the table. There will be anger and sadness and perhaps some very not so nice things said. However, this ultimately will be the last road block. So if you can get through the next say....10 chapters at maximum with me, I promise I will make it up to all of you....hard core. I'll provide you with oodles of fluff and romance and sex. And so it begins.....
Two weeks had come and gone. It was now into March and it seemed like all the heavy snowfall was behind them. It was still cold, but in less than a month April would be there along with the rain. Winter would be washed away and Spring would begin; a fresh start. That is what Luke had desired, but sadly, his attempts to reach out to Reid were overlooked. The older man wouldn’t have anything to do with him. Phone calls went unanswered, voicemails weren’t returned and for whatever reason he couldn’t seem to find the man anywhere in town. Luke was beginning to feel that no matter what he did, he would never get a chance to talk to Reid again. Something had to give. He wanted to do it the right way, try to explain himself properly, but if Reid wasn’t ready or willing to listen to him, then he would just have to make him; simple as that.
*
“I can’t believe your mom still hasn’t said anything.”
Luke snorted. “That makes two of us.”
Luke and Matt were currently having lunch at Al’s. They hadn’t seen much of each other the past couple weeks. Luke had been busy catching up on work while trying to get Reid to talk to him and Matt had been busy with his new job and also helping Katie with Jacob.
“She’s not really speaking to me at the moment, which is fine with me. Every time I see her all she can talk about is how disappointed she is and how I need to talk to Noah.”
“Still, it’s good that she’s kept her mouth shut. At least you don’t have to worry about it getting back to Reid before you’ve had a chance to talk to him.”
“I’m sure she would love it if that did happen, but in order to spill the beans to Reid she would have to admit my faults and failures to every one in town and I think she’s still hoping that I’ll go back to LA and pretend like everything’s the picture of perfection and no one would ever know different.”
“Jesus that’s fucking depressing.”
Luke shrugged. “It is what it is. You ready to get out of here?” he said looking up.
“Yep.”
*
“Will you do me a favor?” Luke asked as they walked down the street.
“Sure. What is it?”
“Come to the hospital with me,” he said hopefully. “I just….I just want to see if Reid is there and if he is then maybe he’d be more willing to see me if you’re there too.”
“Luke, you know I don’t want to get involved. The last place I want to be is in between you two.”
“Funny, I would think that would be a dream for you.”
“Ha-Ha,” he deadpanned. “Seriously though. I hate being in the middle.”
“I don’t want to put you in the middle of us. I just want you to be there as….maybe a buffer. The chances of him completely losing it on me might lessen if you’re there.”
“Yeah I highly doubt that, but I’ll go.”
Luke elbowed him in the side. “You’re such a softie.”
*
“I can’t believe he’s off for the next week,” Luke said as they turned a corner while walking through Memorial. “He’s a self-proclaimed workaholic.”
“He’s probably going to St. Louis for the week.”
“Probably or definitely? What do you know?” Luke said eagerly.
“Calm your horses. I don’t know anything. Believe it or not, I’ve been busy lately and haven’t had a chance to talk to Reid, except for when I asked him if he had a boyfriend.”
Luke winced. “And how did that go?”
“Oh, you know Reid. He sort of darted around the question a bit, but eventually told me he was seeing him.” He looked apologetically at Luke. “Sorry.”
Luke shrugged. “It’s not something I already didn’t know, right?”
“True,” Matt agreed. “Anyway, since then we haven’t really talked. I think he felt weird, you know….doing the whole talking about the new boyfriend to the old one thing.”
“Yeah. Reid really cared about you. He just wants you to be happy.”
Matt smiled. “I am.” Luke watched as the smile slowly slid from Matt’s face.
“You sure about that?” He followed Matt’s line of sight before settling on Casey and Alison standing very closely at the nurse’s station.
“Hey Luke!” Alison said brightly. Casey glanced up noticing that not only was Luke in front of him, but also Matt.
“Hi Alison. Haven’t seen you in awhile.”
“I know.” She looked over at Casey briefly before staring at Luke. “I’ve been sort of MIA, but I plan on being around a lot more.” Matt glanced over at Casey who quickly looked away. “It’s nice that you’re back in town though. And who’s your friend?” she said innocently.
“Matt,” he said introducing himself. “We’ve already met.”
Alison tilted her head in confusion. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “That’s right; Casey’s apartment. Of course. So Matt, where are you from?”
“Texas.”
“And you’re Dr. Oliver’s ex correct?”
“That I am.” He looked at Casey again who was still refusing to make eye contact.
“That’s nice….that you two can still be friends.”
Matt nodded.
“So what’s this?” Luke asked, gesturing between Alison and Casey.
Alison smiled. “Well, Casey and I are…..friends again too.”
“Hey Luke, I think I’m gonna go,” Matt said turning to the side. Finally Casey allowed himself to look up at the other man. “I’m not feeling that well, but umm…good luck.” Matt spun around and walked quickly down the hallway, not noticing Casey’s eyes following him until he was completely out of sight.
“Luck?” Alison said. “For what?”
“Oh um….I just have to talk to someone.”
“Reid,” Casey filled in for him.
“Yes Reid.”
Casey rolled his eyes started moving around the desk.
“Casey,” Luke tried.
“Not now Luke. I have to go.”
“Casey?” Alison questioned.
“I just…sorry, I forgot there’s someplace I have to be.”
*
“What are you doing here?” Matt asked.
“I just wanted to see you.”
“That’s funny because earlier you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at me.”
“Matt….”
“You said it was too fast. You asked if we could take things back a little bit. You needed time. I get that, I really do, but there was nothing. Nothing Casey. You just cut off all contact with me, so I thought ‘hey, he’s just trying to figure things out, don’t push’, but come to find out you’ve been with Alison this whole time while trying to forget I even exist.”
“That’s not true,” Casey said stepping forward. “I haven’t been trying to forget you. I couldn’t, even if I did try.”
“Then why haven’t I seen you since that morning at Al’s?”
Casey licked his lips nervously. “That night…..things were so different with you. I can’t tell you the last time I was so nervous sleeping with someone and I don’t know if it’s just because you’re a guy or because I really like you, but…you were amazing and patient and you did whatever you could to make me feel comfortable and afterwards you didn’t push me for anything. You just let me be. And I was okay….for a little while, but that next day, I just freaked out.”
“I know. We had this conversation that morning if you remember.”
“I do, but, Matt I’m still freaking out. I still am trying to figure out what’s real and what isn’t and I’ve kept my distance because….I don’t want to lead you on while I’m trying to get those things straight.”
“And this thing with Alison….what is that? You haven’t separated yourself from her, so are you okay with leading her on?”
“No,” he said shaking his head. “I’m not. I’m not worried about hurting Alison as much as I’m worried about you, but also…I have been spending time with her to see if there’s anything left. We were together for a long time. I was going to marry her. I owed it to myself to at least see if I still felt that way about her. If I still could look at her the way I used to.”
“And can you?”
“No…I can’t. Maybe one day I can forgive her, for everything she did, but…..I don’t love her anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he said vehemently.
“And me?”
Casey stepped up even closer to where they were just inches apart. “I like you. That much you already know and you’ve been great, but maybe it’s time that you quit leaving everything up to me. You know where I stand; me and all my confusion. You know all the risks. It’s up to you if you want to take them.”
“Take them?”
“I’m giving you an out Matt. I don’t want you to get dragged around or hurt. I don’t just want to push and pull you back and forth, which is probably what I’ll wind up doing, so whatever happens next….it’s up to you.”
Matt ran his hand down Casey’s cheek and pulled him forward to close out the remaining distance between them. He pressed his lips against Casey’s before pulling apart. “I just want to spend time with you.”
*
“No,” Reid said trying to shut the door. Unfortunately for him he was unable to do so as Luke was stronger than him.
“You’re going to listen to me,” Luke insisted. “You can’t ignore me forever.”
“But I can try,” Reid replied in a sing-song voice.
Luke had closed the door to Reid and Katie’s apartment behind him. He was facing Reid’s back as the other man seemingly wasn’t willing to look at him. He took a deep breath. He had no idea how to do this or how to even start, but he knew that Reid was on the verge of kicking him out or calling someone to escort him off the premises, so he just started talking.
“When I said I loved you, I meant it.” He ignored the unbelieving sound that escaped Reid’s throat and carried on. “When I left…it had nothing to do with me not loving you or wanting you…..Reid…..I didn’t leave because I wanted to be with Noah. I wanted to be with you, I just thought I couldn’t.” He took another deep breath. “I was sick…really sick and I didn’t think….I know that’s not an excuse….Reid, will you just look at me? This will be so much easier if you’d just turn around.”
Nothing.
“Reid?”
Two weeks had come and gone. It was now into March and it seemed like all the heavy snowfall was behind them. It was still cold, but in less than a month April would be there along with the rain. Winter would be washed away and Spring would begin; a fresh start. That is what Luke had desired, but sadly, his attempts to reach out to Reid were overlooked. The older man wouldn’t have anything to do with him. Phone calls went unanswered, voicemails weren’t returned and for whatever reason he couldn’t seem to find the man anywhere in town. Luke was beginning to feel that no matter what he did, he would never get a chance to talk to Reid again. Something had to give. He wanted to do it the right way, try to explain himself properly, but if Reid wasn’t ready or willing to listen to him, then he would just have to make him; simple as that.
*
“I can’t believe your mom still hasn’t said anything.”
Luke snorted. “That makes two of us.”
Luke and Matt were currently having lunch at Al’s. They hadn’t seen much of each other the past couple weeks. Luke had been busy catching up on work while trying to get Reid to talk to him and Matt had been busy with his new job and also helping Katie with Jacob.
“She’s not really speaking to me at the moment, which is fine with me. Every time I see her all she can talk about is how disappointed she is and how I need to talk to Noah.”
“Still, it’s good that she’s kept her mouth shut. At least you don’t have to worry about it getting back to Reid before you’ve had a chance to talk to him.”
“I’m sure she would love it if that did happen, but in order to spill the beans to Reid she would have to admit my faults and failures to every one in town and I think she’s still hoping that I’ll go back to LA and pretend like everything’s the picture of perfection and no one would ever know different.”
“Jesus that’s fucking depressing.”
Luke shrugged. “It is what it is. You ready to get out of here?” he said looking up.
“Yep.”
*
“Will you do me a favor?” Luke asked as they walked down the street.
“Sure. What is it?”
“Come to the hospital with me,” he said hopefully. “I just….I just want to see if Reid is there and if he is then maybe he’d be more willing to see me if you’re there too.”
“Luke, you know I don’t want to get involved. The last place I want to be is in between you two.”
“Funny, I would think that would be a dream for you.”
“Ha-Ha,” he deadpanned. “Seriously though. I hate being in the middle.”
“I don’t want to put you in the middle of us. I just want you to be there as….maybe a buffer. The chances of him completely losing it on me might lessen if you’re there.”
“Yeah I highly doubt that, but I’ll go.”
Luke elbowed him in the side. “You’re such a softie.”
*
“I can’t believe he’s off for the next week,” Luke said as they turned a corner while walking through Memorial. “He’s a self-proclaimed workaholic.”
“He’s probably going to St. Louis for the week.”
“Probably or definitely? What do you know?” Luke said eagerly.
“Calm your horses. I don’t know anything. Believe it or not, I’ve been busy lately and haven’t had a chance to talk to Reid, except for when I asked him if he had a boyfriend.”
Luke winced. “And how did that go?”
“Oh, you know Reid. He sort of darted around the question a bit, but eventually told me he was seeing him.” He looked apologetically at Luke. “Sorry.”
Luke shrugged. “It’s not something I already didn’t know, right?”
“True,” Matt agreed. “Anyway, since then we haven’t really talked. I think he felt weird, you know….doing the whole talking about the new boyfriend to the old one thing.”
“Yeah. Reid really cared about you. He just wants you to be happy.”
Matt smiled. “I am.” Luke watched as the smile slowly slid from Matt’s face.
“You sure about that?” He followed Matt’s line of sight before settling on Casey and Alison standing very closely at the nurse’s station.
“Hey Luke!” Alison said brightly. Casey glanced up noticing that not only was Luke in front of him, but also Matt.
“Hi Alison. Haven’t seen you in awhile.”
“I know.” She looked over at Casey briefly before staring at Luke. “I’ve been sort of MIA, but I plan on being around a lot more.” Matt glanced over at Casey who quickly looked away. “It’s nice that you’re back in town though. And who’s your friend?” she said innocently.
“Matt,” he said introducing himself. “We’ve already met.”
Alison tilted her head in confusion. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “That’s right; Casey’s apartment. Of course. So Matt, where are you from?”
“Texas.”
“And you’re Dr. Oliver’s ex correct?”
“That I am.” He looked at Casey again who was still refusing to make eye contact.
“That’s nice….that you two can still be friends.”
Matt nodded.
“So what’s this?” Luke asked, gesturing between Alison and Casey.
Alison smiled. “Well, Casey and I are…..friends again too.”
“Hey Luke, I think I’m gonna go,” Matt said turning to the side. Finally Casey allowed himself to look up at the other man. “I’m not feeling that well, but umm…good luck.” Matt spun around and walked quickly down the hallway, not noticing Casey’s eyes following him until he was completely out of sight.
“Luck?” Alison said. “For what?”
“Oh um….I just have to talk to someone.”
“Reid,” Casey filled in for him.
“Yes Reid.”
Casey rolled his eyes started moving around the desk.
“Casey,” Luke tried.
“Not now Luke. I have to go.”
“Casey?” Alison questioned.
“I just…sorry, I forgot there’s someplace I have to be.”
*
“What are you doing here?” Matt asked.
“I just wanted to see you.”
“That’s funny because earlier you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at me.”
“Matt….”
“You said it was too fast. You asked if we could take things back a little bit. You needed time. I get that, I really do, but there was nothing. Nothing Casey. You just cut off all contact with me, so I thought ‘hey, he’s just trying to figure things out, don’t push’, but come to find out you’ve been with Alison this whole time while trying to forget I even exist.”
“That’s not true,” Casey said stepping forward. “I haven’t been trying to forget you. I couldn’t, even if I did try.”
“Then why haven’t I seen you since that morning at Al’s?”
Casey licked his lips nervously. “That night…..things were so different with you. I can’t tell you the last time I was so nervous sleeping with someone and I don’t know if it’s just because you’re a guy or because I really like you, but…you were amazing and patient and you did whatever you could to make me feel comfortable and afterwards you didn’t push me for anything. You just let me be. And I was okay….for a little while, but that next day, I just freaked out.”
“I know. We had this conversation that morning if you remember.”
“I do, but, Matt I’m still freaking out. I still am trying to figure out what’s real and what isn’t and I’ve kept my distance because….I don’t want to lead you on while I’m trying to get those things straight.”
“And this thing with Alison….what is that? You haven’t separated yourself from her, so are you okay with leading her on?”
“No,” he said shaking his head. “I’m not. I’m not worried about hurting Alison as much as I’m worried about you, but also…I have been spending time with her to see if there’s anything left. We were together for a long time. I was going to marry her. I owed it to myself to at least see if I still felt that way about her. If I still could look at her the way I used to.”
“And can you?”
“No…I can’t. Maybe one day I can forgive her, for everything she did, but…..I don’t love her anymore.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he said vehemently.
“And me?”
Casey stepped up even closer to where they were just inches apart. “I like you. That much you already know and you’ve been great, but maybe it’s time that you quit leaving everything up to me. You know where I stand; me and all my confusion. You know all the risks. It’s up to you if you want to take them.”
“Take them?”
“I’m giving you an out Matt. I don’t want you to get dragged around or hurt. I don’t just want to push and pull you back and forth, which is probably what I’ll wind up doing, so whatever happens next….it’s up to you.”
Matt ran his hand down Casey’s cheek and pulled him forward to close out the remaining distance between them. He pressed his lips against Casey’s before pulling apart. “I just want to spend time with you.”
*
“No,” Reid said trying to shut the door. Unfortunately for him he was unable to do so as Luke was stronger than him.
“You’re going to listen to me,” Luke insisted. “You can’t ignore me forever.”
“But I can try,” Reid replied in a sing-song voice.
Luke had closed the door to Reid and Katie’s apartment behind him. He was facing Reid’s back as the other man seemingly wasn’t willing to look at him. He took a deep breath. He had no idea how to do this or how to even start, but he knew that Reid was on the verge of kicking him out or calling someone to escort him off the premises, so he just started talking.
“When I said I loved you, I meant it.” He ignored the unbelieving sound that escaped Reid’s throat and carried on. “When I left…it had nothing to do with me not loving you or wanting you…..Reid…..I didn’t leave because I wanted to be with Noah. I wanted to be with you, I just thought I couldn’t.” He took another deep breath. “I was sick…really sick and I didn’t think….I know that’s not an excuse….Reid, will you just look at me? This will be so much easier if you’d just turn around.”
Nothing.
“Reid?”