i can't hear again
a quick one since i ponned german again tonight to stay at home to sleep, because yours truly is on her way to getting well and truly sick.
it's very irritating and very embarassing. i think it might officially be a medical problem. my ear (this time the left one) has gone kaputt again, just like, a few days before concert - tomorrow is fulldress rehearsal, and it is just so utterly perfect that my ear should choose to go partially impaired on me again.
:( my uncle the doctor says it's natural for my ears to go this way every now and then, because they've always had this problem. but still. it makes me feel so uncomfortable and icky. argh!!!
but yeah my mum is starting to get worried about it too - i just really hope it isn't as serious as it's beginning to look at. and that last sentence just didn't make quite a lot of sense.
oh well. i've been going about in some sort of daze anw; i've been half-asleep everyday in school. i'm praying it'll be over once i've got my energy and sleep back after concert's over - the worst thing is that even when i force myself to sleep without doing like (at least part of) my homework or studying for a test (yes, i know, but it is the first time i have done so) i can't seem to sleep well. last night i kept dreaming throughout, and then ended up waking up at four.
and yeah i know that jinx and some other people are wondering what in the world i am doing about this particular friendship/relationship. i think that, this being this year and after what happened last year, i just want to be careful, and take things slow. i think after all that has been said and done, i'm much less susceptible to being affected by such things, or at least less likely to be inclined to initiate most things in such situations. perhaps it's just self-preservation, or maybe i'm just getting wiser.
and well, older. somehow it almost makes me feel a bit sad to admit that. don't know why though.
and i hope some people who i know i'm not there sufficiently for - or whom perhaps i have never been there sufficiently for, and have given up wanting me to - are alright, somehow. i just feel too tired for myself, even. i want to call and ask if you're alright, but i'm scared you might not want me to.
it's very irritating and very embarassing. i think it might officially be a medical problem. my ear (this time the left one) has gone kaputt again, just like, a few days before concert - tomorrow is fulldress rehearsal, and it is just so utterly perfect that my ear should choose to go partially impaired on me again.
:( my uncle the doctor says it's natural for my ears to go this way every now and then, because they've always had this problem. but still. it makes me feel so uncomfortable and icky. argh!!!
but yeah my mum is starting to get worried about it too - i just really hope it isn't as serious as it's beginning to look at. and that last sentence just didn't make quite a lot of sense.
oh well. i've been going about in some sort of daze anw; i've been half-asleep everyday in school. i'm praying it'll be over once i've got my energy and sleep back after concert's over - the worst thing is that even when i force myself to sleep without doing like (at least part of) my homework or studying for a test (yes, i know, but it is the first time i have done so) i can't seem to sleep well. last night i kept dreaming throughout, and then ended up waking up at four.
and yeah i know that jinx and some other people are wondering what in the world i am doing about this particular friendship/relationship. i think that, this being this year and after what happened last year, i just want to be careful, and take things slow. i think after all that has been said and done, i'm much less susceptible to being affected by such things, or at least less likely to be inclined to initiate most things in such situations. perhaps it's just self-preservation, or maybe i'm just getting wiser.
and well, older. somehow it almost makes me feel a bit sad to admit that. don't know why though.
and i hope some people who i know i'm not there sufficiently for - or whom perhaps i have never been there sufficiently for, and have given up wanting me to - are alright, somehow. i just feel too tired for myself, even. i want to call and ask if you're alright, but i'm scared you might not want me to.