moving on
perhaps this a little premature; still, i can't help but feel a little sad.
i don't know, i never really really really liked chinese orchestra; i mean, i cried when we got silver for syf in nanyang, i practiced like mad and made good friends during my first concert there as well, and in rj i've already been through both syf and a concert. but i never was the sort who would jump at going for prac, or even look forward to it very much; it was always just that: a cca and a commitment. especially since i joined late as i did. but strangely enough, in this past year since i joined rjco in march 05 - well i'm actually quite sad that i'll be leaving all this behind in two weeks. less, even. i'm never going to touch a pipa that isn't mine again, and i'm never going to play with other people again. i'm never going to experience to rush you get when you play a really good piece with the rest of the orchestra and know it is really good.
it seems so abrupt to close the door on almost five years of practice come may 7th.
and i've made some friends i'm fond of - dandan since last year, jinx and xingyan and the other girls this year. and some people i definitely hope i'll be continuing to keep in touch with. i never thought i would actually miss being in the chinese orchestra, and that leaving it for good would be such a frightening prospect.
in other aspects of life now, i wish i could be less tired, and put in more effort for my work; i wish i were less daunted by the prospect of organizing cap; i wish i could do what is right, when it comes to some people. It seems as if I've somehow stumbled to a crossroads in my life, and I still feel so much trepidation, though I know God will somehow pull me through, because He always has and always will.
i don't know, i never really really really liked chinese orchestra; i mean, i cried when we got silver for syf in nanyang, i practiced like mad and made good friends during my first concert there as well, and in rj i've already been through both syf and a concert. but i never was the sort who would jump at going for prac, or even look forward to it very much; it was always just that: a cca and a commitment. especially since i joined late as i did. but strangely enough, in this past year since i joined rjco in march 05 - well i'm actually quite sad that i'll be leaving all this behind in two weeks. less, even. i'm never going to touch a pipa that isn't mine again, and i'm never going to play with other people again. i'm never going to experience to rush you get when you play a really good piece with the rest of the orchestra and know it is really good.
it seems so abrupt to close the door on almost five years of practice come may 7th.
and i've made some friends i'm fond of - dandan since last year, jinx and xingyan and the other girls this year. and some people i definitely hope i'll be continuing to keep in touch with. i never thought i would actually miss being in the chinese orchestra, and that leaving it for good would be such a frightening prospect.
in other aspects of life now, i wish i could be less tired, and put in more effort for my work; i wish i were less daunted by the prospect of organizing cap; i wish i could do what is right, when it comes to some people. It seems as if I've somehow stumbled to a crossroads in my life, and I still feel so much trepidation, though I know God will somehow pull me through, because He always has and always will.