Title- Perspective
Author- Sanssong
Part- 2/7
Rating- PG-13
Pairing/Characters- John/Teyla, Weir, Beckett, Ford, McKay, Bates.
Spoilers- All of Season One
Warnings- None
Archiving- S/T Fever, Gate of Dreams, Heliopolis, Wraithbait, Unique Bond, Atlantis Fic, Atlantica, STF Live Journal, GW- S/
Summary- Between the Wraith coming and a few misunderstandings, John and Teyla find it difficult to find time to talk about the issues weighing on both their minds.
Disclaimer- I don’t own the characters or story concept for Stargate Atlantis, I make no money from these feeble attempts at making these characters live.
Special Thanks to Anna for the great job she did with beta for this story.
Chapter 2
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like dancers on a stage, John and Teyla circled each other on the mat of Atlantis’ exercise room, long wooden fighting sticks in their hands. The early morning sun streamed through the geometrically cut gold, orange, and rust colored windows, bathing the room and its combatants in a warm, inviting glow.
Even though they had only been training together for a few months, they were beginning to read each other’s facial expressions and movements; hence neither was quick to make the initial advance. Eventually, John being more inexperienced, lashed out in a series of thrusts and parries causing Teyla to block his weapon and spin around and away from him.
Recovering right away, she quickly launched a counter attack that backed him up several steps.
John circled around again and contemplated his next assault. He opted to twirl his stick over his right shoulder in an attempt to misdirect her attention so that he could swing it down and undercut her legs, but Teyla was too fast. She merely jumped out of the way and used her momentum execute a series of quick hard hits.
John actually returned them hit for hit, and to his surprise his defense knocked Teyla to the floor. She glared at him over her shoulder. Amazed, all he could do was stare at her in disbelief. Maybe he was getting the hang of this after all.
“Continue,” she insisted, pulling herself upright.
“Going easy on me huh?” John asked, slightly out of breath.
“I assure you, Major, I am not. Continue,” she said tightly.
John just shrugged and readied his stance for her next flurry of maneuvers.
They began again, only to have the same result; Teyla lying prone on the floor of the exercise room. This time he knew it wasn’t his growing skill that had laid her low; there was something wrong.
“Are you okay?” John asked, gingerly.
“Yes,” she snapped, obviously angry with herself for losing her concentration.
“Are you sure?” he asked, still not convinced. “Cause it’s usually me picking my butt up off the mat.”
John extended a hand to help her up. As his hand touched hers, heat leaped between the two of them, catching him off guard. He could feel his defenses starting to crumble once again. Her beauty mixed with her own special personal allure, was like a loadstone pulling him down beneath the waves of attraction and emotion. That old fear and insecurity threatened to overwhelm him, even as he struggled not to be cowed by it again.
Teyla readily accepted his assistance but hesitated slightly before deciding to confide in him.
“Truthfully, I have not been sleeping much, and when I do I have been having nightmares about the Wraith.” Walking to the window, she turned away from him momentarily.
“Well, you’re not the only one,” he said lamely. It was amazing to him that she would even consider sharing her troubles with him after what he’d done; pushing her away and taking up with Chaya. But if there was one thing Teyla did well, it was surprise him, her strength, her intellect, her wisdom, never ceased to fascinate him.
“It has not been so bad since my father was taken.”
That got John’s full attention, and a sense of foreboding crept into his mind. It was his turn to look away. He didn’t want her to see how much this worried him.
In the next moment, guilt rose within him damning and bitter as he briefly wondered if his recent behavior might also have something to do with her dream images. God, he could be so dense sometimes, only thinking about himself. Well, not this time, this time he was going to stand by her and help her no matter how hard it was not to fall in love with her.
Oh, geeze. That’s what he was really afraid of wasn’t it? Terrified actually. What if he fell in love with Teyla and she didn’t love him back?
‘Get a grip, Shep,’ he admonished himself. ‘Do what’s best for her! She’s upset; she’s a member of your team. Help her for cryin out loud!’
“What- what exactly happens?” He asked hesitantly.
“I am lying in my bed asleep, when I sense a Wraith enter my chamber. As it begins to feed on me, I awaken.”
He watched Teyla squeeze her eyes shut in an effort to block out the nightmare images. “Is there more?” John asked, knowing with certainty that he hadn’t heard the worst of it.
Opening her eyes again, she haltingly continued. “I get up, run down the hall to your quarters. When you don’t answer, I key open the door and rush in, but I am too late.” Teyla’s voice caught slightly and she had to pause a moment before continuing in a strained whisper, “the Wraith has killed you.”
Well, if he wanted to know if he was affecting her, he had his answer. Ruthlessly, he quashed the impulse to let his mind run away with possibilities and make something out of nothing. She’d said she cared about him, not that she loved him.
On one hand, relief surged through him that even her subconscious mind dreamed about him and worried that he’d die. She worried about *him*- the thought was dazzling.
On the other hand, *he* was now very worried that this could eat away at her and maybe, even jeopardize her life. In that second he realized that nothing was more important to him that her well-being. He was going to help her no matter what it took, whether she ever loved him or not.
He took a few steps to stand next to her then put his hand on her shoulder and looked into her expressive brown eyes.
“Nothing is going to happen to me- or you. If we can’t fight the Wraith in Atlantis, we will find somewhere safe where we don’t have to. I promise.”
Moved by his declaration, she returned his gaze and reached up to grasp the top of his hand with hers. “I have lost many friends to the Wraith. I don’t want to lose any more.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He’d thought they’d made a peace, and a new start of sorts this morning when Teyla confided her nightmares to him. John guessed he couldn’t blame her when like quicksilver, she turned angry again. After all, he’d responded almost identically when his XO insisted he undergo counseling for post traumatic stress after his team members died in Iraq.
It also killed him that she was mad at him again. In a perfect world, he’d have had the time to convince her he’d done the right thing. Time. It was the one thing he didn’t have. He had to go off world and there just wasn’t any more of it to spare. He’d also miss her presence on the team. ‘Damn,’ he thought furiously, as he dashed through the gate room, ‘Will I ever live long enough to understand women?’
The mission was a blur, between worrying about Teyla and fantasizing over the fact that she really did care about him, he could barely keep his mind on what he was there to do. Ford had to ask him the same question on more than one occasion, causing Bates to look at him askance.
Bates. That guy always seemed to be analyzing him. It ticked John off and kind of gave him the creeps to boot. He’d known guys like Bates before, up-tight assholes whose mission in life was to make somebody miserable. This time that somebody was him.
Finally, the survey party finished and it was time to go home. They’d been on the Alpha Site for almost twelve hours, checking and re-checking every possible drawback. They might have to live there for a long time, so he figured twelve hours wasn’t too much to ask.
John was bone-tired when he came walking back through the gate and he wanted nothing more than to eat, shower and sleep in that order. The rest of his team must have felt the same way because after they received their orders for the morning briefing, they scattered rapidly.
Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed audibly and headed down the hall to his quarters. He’d almost reached them when he saw her in the hallway. Teyla. It was Teyla sitting cross-legged with her back to the wall, sound asleep. ‘Well this is a hell of a thing.’ He smiled to himself seeing her sleeping there because at least she *was* sleeping. The fact that in sleep, her lovely features appeared innocent and sexy at the same time wasn’t lost on him either.
He stood looking at her for a moment unsure what to do. He’d have to wake her, he guessed, after all she couldn’t sleep outside his door all night long. Reaching down, he gently shook her. “Teyla?”
She started awake and John could tell that she didn’t know where she was for a minute. Coming to herself, she jumped to her feet before he could even help her.
“Major! I was waiting for you to return. I must have fallen asleep.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” John cracked, with a small laugh. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m a,” Teyla halted searching for the words. “I have been to the mainland to speak with my old mentor, Charin.”
John was confused. “Ah, that’s great, Teyla.”
“I thought about what you said before you left this morning and decided to speak with Dr. Heightmeyer about my nightmares.” Pausing again, she studied his face. John could sense that she needed something from him- acceptance maybe?
“At the end of our discussion I realized there were things I needed to know about myself and my ‘special abilities’ sensing the Wraith.” Her expression turned even more pleading.
“You can tell me anything, Teyla,” John said softly.
“Charin told me many things, which I want to tell you and Dr. Weir tomorrow, but I wanted you to know- tonight, that you did the right thing.”
“I did?”
Teyla laid a hand on his arm, her gentle touch dissipating the fatigue of his day, sending warmth through him to all the right places. Her eyes caressed his face the way she did only in *his* dreams. Captivated, John’s arms and hands turned boneless with longing and he felt the belt pack he had been holding slip through his fingers to the floor. It landed with a small thud.
“Yes,” she continued slowly, holding his eyes with hers. “I needed someone to talk to about my nightmares and you understood that, you understood me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” John said, his voice sounding low and gravelly, even to his own ears.
“I also accused you of betraying my confidence. I see now that I was wrong. You are the one person on Atlantis I know I can trust. You are truly my friend.” She lifted herself up on the balls of her feet, touching her lips full soft lips to his.
The part of John’s mind that was still functioning realized that Teyla probably hadn’t intended for him to kiss her back, but it was too late to worry about that after he’d returned her tentative ‘thank you’ by pulling her into his arms and capturing her lips with his.
For a moment Teyla stood stock still, most likely as surprised as he was by his impulsive actions, fortunately for him, it didn’t take very long before he was able to coax her into returning his kisses. As if suspended in time for a handful of delicate minutes, they existed in a world of their own making, a world where only the next touch of their lips was of any importance.
John felt Teyla’s arms slip around his shoulders and the back of his neck, and it spurred him to deepen their kiss. Her lips were soft and firm and he was hungry for them, taking all she would give and more. Desire rose in him swift and hot, swamping his senses and making him crazed.
He thought he’d die of longing when she leaned into him to merge their bodies even closer together. The feel of her soft breasts against his chest was intoxicating and sent spikes of white-hot craving shooting through his entire being. Unable to resist, he lightly ran his hands along the outside of them, over the hollow of her waist and down the small of her back to her lush derriere. With one hand he caressed it, then gently needed the soft swell. She moaned into his mouth and nipped the edge of his lips with her teeth.
With a low chuckle, he playfully pulled his mouth away from hers, forcing her to seek his lips with her own. Teyla didn’t disappoint as her hungry mouth found his over and over again. God she could kiss a man senseless.
She smelled of smoky sweet spice and honeysuckle and when John inhaled those heady scents and the slightly more muted one that was Teyla’s alone, it made him want to hold her to him and never let her go.
Emotions rose in him startling in their intensity, as their kisses continued. And as if summoned from his very soul, everything he’d been holding back, all the feelings he’d been denying, came rushing out of him and into that kiss. It washed away all the reservations and pretense he’d been clinging to in a vain effort to protect himself, and left him with one clear truth.
He was in love Teyla.
Lost in the rush of his newly acknowledged feelings, and the passion that raged between them, he reached behind his back and tried to key the combination to his quarters without breaking contact of his lips on hers. He wanted to get her inside, more to the point, he wanted to get inside *her*.
She must have heard him fumbling with the keypad because she tried to help move them both closer to the side of the door. It would have worked too, if Bates hadn’t picked that very moment to come looking for him.
John and Teyla jumped apart like guilty teenagers. They tried to busy themselves by adjusting their clothing and looking around awkwardly. John swore silently, hoping to hell the nosey sergeant hadn’t seen more than he should have.
“Bates,” he said, clearing his throat, “what can I do for you, Sergeant?” God, he hoped his voice sounded normal.
“Sir. Teyla.” Bates said.
“Sergeant,” she responded, inclining her head regally, before turning to John. “Major, thank you again, for your help. I’ll see you in the morning.” Teyla slipped quietly around the corner and disappeared.
As he watched her go, he wished Bates to perdition or whatever version of Hell he believed in. Damn his timing anyway.
Looking back to the man who ruined his evening, he noticed that Bates had a curious look on his face as he watched Teyla leave, but thankfully he didn’t comment.
“I’m sorry to bother you so late, sir, but I wanted to give you the final security data on the new Alpha Site before tomorrow morning’s briefing.”
“Thanks, I’ll look it over,” John said as he took the pad from Bates.
“No, problem, sir. Good night, sir.”
John turned, picked up his abandoned belt pack and entered his quarters. Shaking his head in a vain effort to focus, he tried to take a mental inventory of what just happened, but he could only come up with three coherent thoughts.
He was in love Teyla Emmagan, he had a raging hard-on, and unfortunately, he had a very suspicious head of security.
Perfect, just perfect.
~To be Continued in Part III