FIC- Perspective, [PG-13], J/T, 1/7
Title- Perspective
Author- Sanssong
Rating- PG-13 (for some mild language)
Part 1/1
Pairing- Sheppard/Teyla, Weir, McKay, Charin, Ford, Beckett, Bates.
Genre- Romance, Episode Coda
Warnings- None
Spoilers- The Gift,
Summary- The Wraith are coming all of Atlantis is preparing, but John and Teyla both have to gain some perspective about who they are and who they are together.
Disclaimer- I don’t own the characters or the show concept. I make no money from these poor scribblings.
Special thanks to Shelly for the kind beta.
A/N- I know most of you have probably read this story, but I figured I'd do my part to have all J/T stories posted here the the GW LJ!
Chapter 1
The low artificial light, mixed with the streams of sunlight coming through the door of Teyla's room, made a beautifully strange, otherworldly glow, on the floor. But she barely noticed it. Her bag was almost packed and her need to get out of Atlantis as soon as possible was eclipsing everything else.
She needed some time to think- God knows they didn't have much of that, but if she went to the mainland now, she could update her people in person and seek the solace she needed.
Teyla paused a moment and looked around the room. It was still incredible to her that she was here, in the city of the Ancestors, away from the immediate threat of the Wraith, away from constantly running from place to place. She thought she had found stability for the first time in her life and she valued it more than she could say. It wasn't that she wanted to leave Atlantis forever; she just needed to gain perspective- about herself, about her mission with the Terans, and then there was - John Sheppard. She really needed perspective about him.
"Teyla?" John's voice sounded from her doorway. Startled that the focus of her thoughts should appear at that moment, she turned to face him. "Teyla what's going on?" asked a slightly irritated Major Sheppard. "I waited in the training room for half an hour and you didn't show."
"I am sorry Major," Teyla inwardly cringed that she had forgotten their appointment, but outwardly, she retained her normal calm. " I forgot our session was planned for today. Please accept my apologies."
With a slight bow of her head, she turned her attention back to packing. Teyla crossed to the dressing table to retrieve the last item she needed for her journey.
"No problem. It just would have been nice to know before I sat around waiting." John said easily, leaning on the doorframe. He tried to keep his voice normal to mask his very real disappointment when she didn't come.
He hadn't seen Teyla alone in a few days, what with planning for several off-world missions to look for ZPM's, and he needed catch up with her. To see if she was still avoiding him, well, he guessed he'd gotten his answer.
Teyla faltered slightly mid-stride at his words, but recovered herself and placed the last item in her bag.
"I am sorry major," she said, forcing a smile, "it's just that my mind has been engaged in preparations for my trip to the mainland, to see my people. Now that we know that the Wraith are only two weeks from Atlantis, it is very important that I speak with them." 'And it is important that I get away from you for a few days,' she added silently.
"Yeah, about that," he said pushing away from the door, "I still don't understand why you can't just contact them by radio. I really need you on this next mission. These people know you, they trust you."
She couldn't give into this, not now. It was hard for her to deny him anything, but she had to do this, for her own sanity. Yes her people could be told all they needed to know over the radio system provided by the Terans, but she needed to see them, she needed to be away.
"Major, we have been over this already. I must talk to my people in person and I have personally contacted the Edraneese. They are looking forward to meeting you and helping you in whatever way they can. It will not be like the Genii, I assure you."
"Won't be the same without you..." he teased. "You know Rodney will drive me crazy, complaining the whole way there and back."
Teyla's smile was genuine this time, "It is one mission Major Sheppard, I think you can handle Dr. McKay on your own for that long."
Finished packing, she slung the bag with her belongings over her shoulder and headed for the door, stopping just in front of John she turned to face him.
"I will be back in a few days time, but I must go, John." She willed him to understand what she could not say aloud.
John looked away hoping the look in her eyes didn't mean what he thought it meant. He already felt like the biggest fool making an ass of himself over Chaya, the Ancient they encountered, but if he was reading Teyla correctly, he had hurt her, despite her assurances to the contrary. He didn't have the right to pressure her further.
"I'll see you when you get back."
*
The Athosian's camp was looking more like a well-organized village every time she visited. The large round tents they lived and worked in were arranged in three long rows, with a cluster of four or five at the far end of the camp.
Teyla was proud that her people had recovered so quickly from the events of the last several months. They were hard working, good people, her people. It felt right being here with them again, and as she breathed in the smell of aromatic smoke produced by the cook fires located around the camp, it felt as if she had come home.
This had always been her favorite time of day, the meal just before sundown; it reminded her of the meals she shared with her mother and father. Yes, it was good to be home.
"Teyla! It's Teyla, she's back!" shouted a very excited Jinto as he came bounding toward her. "Look, father, Teyla has come to visit us!"
Following not too far behind his son, Halling smiled fondly at his son's enthusiastic outburst. Teyla caught his eye and they shared a knowing smile. Returning her attention to the excited thirteen year old, she stepped forward and touched her forehead to his in the traditional Athosian greeting.
"Jinto, I am pleased to see you as well. Thank you for welcoming me so...loudly."
Halling laughed as he also stepped forward to greet their guest.
"It has been too many days since you came to us Teyla. Have you been well?"
"Yes, I am well, old friend, but I have been unable to come to you before now. We have increased our off-world missions in hopes of finding the power sources necessary to restore protective shields to Atlantis before we have to defend ourselves against the Wraith." Motioning with her head for Halling to follow her, she began walking toward the dwelling set aside for her periodic visits.
"Jinto, go to Mela's dwelling and tell him that Teyla has arrived from Atlantis." Jinto looked disappointed, but obediently left to find Mela.
"Have you been successful...in locating these...power sources?" Halling asked hopefully.
"Unfortunately, we have not yet been successful, but the missions continue even as I am here with you."
"So, you have come to give us news of the Wraith." It wasn't a question so much as a statement of fact. Halling was very familiar with the look on Teyla's face, he had seen it many times before and it always meant one thing; Wraith.
She stopped walking and turned to face him. "The Wraith are but two weeks from Atlantis. I have come to address the council and explain what must be done."
*
"No, Mela, it is not possible. Atlantis still has no protective shields, we will not be safe in the city." Teyla understood the older man's point of view, but didn't share it.
"But, they have such wondrous weapons and defenses, surely we would be safer there?" This question from the middle aged woman sitting next to Teyla.
"Yes, you are right Te'an, they do have many weapons, but even those will not protect us from the Wraith when they come." She paused to make eye contact with each member of the council. "We have one and only one advantage in our current situation. The Wraith do not know we are here. They think all the inhabitants of this planet live in the city of Atlantis. Because of that, if we are very cunning, we can hide all evidence of our settlement and escape their notice."
"But, what of the Terans?" Halling asked frowning. "Are we not going to help them fight the Wraith? Is it right for us to hide while they defend us?" Several other councilmen nodded in agreement.
"Dr. Weir and Major Sheppard both agree that the Athosians should stay together to protect the children and those too old to fight for themselves. They also believe that if they die defending Atlantis, at least someone would survive."
*
The Atlantian sun was just rising over the trees as Teyla looked around the busy encampment. She was satisfied that the preparation for evacuation was going well. 'How many times had they done this?' she mused to herself. Too many, but it was the only way of life she had ever known. There was some comfort for her in the familiar. Not, much, but some. Sighing heavily, she stepped away from the opening of her tent; perhaps some meditation would help settle her thoughts.
"Teyla, my young student, you look troubled." The voice was that of her old mentor, Charin. Upon hearing it, Teyla turned to watch as Charin walked toward her.
Charin was a woman of perhaps seventy summers and the years had been quite kind to her lined face. She still retained more than a shadow of the beauty she once was. Teyla loved her greatly and valued her patient teaching and wisdom.
"I'm afraid I've come with unpleasant news for the village. The Wraith are on their way here and we have only a few short days to prepare ourselves."
"Yes, my dear, I've heard that news already," she said, smiling wearily. "Bad news travels very quickly. But that is not all that troubles you young one; I can see it in your eyes."
"I never could hide my thoughts from you Charin, I used to think you could read my mind when I was a child!" she sighed again, knowing she wouldn't be able to evade her friend's questions. "Very well." Teyla gently guided Charin back inside the tent, She helped Charin sit down in a worn wooden chair positioned by a cluttered worktable; Teyla took the chair next to it.
"Yes," Teyla continued, "I am troubled about more than just the Wraith. I have been struggling to find my place among the Terans." She paused to gather her thoughts. "I find myself at odds with their methods of dealing with the people they encounter." Unable to sit still, Teyla got up and began to pace in the middle of the tent.
"They are rash, and at times self-serving. Sometimes, they are too eager to use force to solve the dilemma's they create, or find themselves in." Stopping at the far end of the tent, her back to her old teacher, Teyla wrapped her arms in front of her and continued. "Yet, in the very next moment, they are capable of such kindness and compassion, that I am left wondering what to think. They risked their lives to save our people and others; they give of what they have freely, and they have the same reverence for the Ancestors as we do."
"I see," Charin murmured understandingly.
"It is not that I am regretting my decision to work with the Terans, it is just that sometimes, I feel as if I will never fit in there, or understand their ways."
"Your father used to say that you don't have to see eye to eye with people to fight by their side."
"Yes, I remember," Teyla, said wistfully, "it is that advice that I took to heart when I stayed to fight the Wraith with them." Teyla turned back to the old woman and crooked a half smile, "I don't think my father would have done something so rash as to leave his own people to fight along side another."
"Rash?" Charin asked, raising an eyebrow. "You think what you have done is rash? Teyla, what you have done is necessary. You serve your people best by helping the Terans defeat the Wraith. They are gifted with the city of the Ancestors and it is only right that you should fight by their side."
Charin rose, walked to Teyla and grasped her hand with frail fingers. Looking into the younger woman's eyes she spoke very softly. "Not everything we do in our lives is completely understood at the time we are doing it, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done."
Teyla held Charin's gaze for a moment, letting her words reach deep into the unsettled places of her heart. Charin was right as always, she was doing what was necessary, and she felt the assurance once more that she would be proved right in the end. After all, she was Teyla Emmagen, leader and defender of her people, and she would do what she must, even if she didn't always understand it, to see them safe.
But that still left John... That problem would not be so easy to solve, she feared.
"Thank you, Charin. Your wisdom still amazes me even after all these years." Teyla added her free hand to the one Charin was grasping with hers and touched her forehead to her friend's.
"Teyla!" A voice called from outside the tent dwelling. "Teyla, are ye in here?"
"Dr. Beckett?"
Carson poked his head through the opening of the tent. "Ah, good, ah 'tis you! Halling wasn't sure where you were. I'm afraid I've come ta take you back ta Atlantis."
Instantly alarmed, Teyla grabbed her bag and started for the door.
"Oh, no, no, it's no' an emergency, it's just that we've found another possibility for an alpha-site and Major Sheppard and his team are still with the Edraneese. Dr. Weir wanted you ta go with the second team an' look at the new site." Carson looked sheepishly apologetic. "I'm sorry, m'dear."
Teyla relaxed visibly, and let her bag slide back to the floor. "Give me a moment, Dr. Beckett, I need to give some last minute instructions to the council. I will meet you at the Jumper in ten minutes."
Carson agreed withdrawing from the opening of the tent. Teyla moved to follow him, but was brought up short by Charin's voice sounding behind her.
"What do you know about your father and your mother's courtship?" Charin asked, a curious look playing over her weathered face.
Teyla was instantly wary, not sure where Charin might be headed with her unexpected question. She hadn't told her mentor about her feelings for Major Sheppard, or the disappointment she'd suffered over John's recent behavior, but that didn't mean Charin didn't know.
Being a private person, Teyla was reluctant to discuss her romantic life with anyone, even someone who knew her as well as Charin did, but it was beneath her to be rude to anyone, much less a person of her years and respect among their people.
"Just that they waited a long time before becoming bonded help-mates, much longer than most in our village."
"But you do not know why, do you?"
"No." Teyla answered honestly.
"Your mother was always looking for something. She possessed within her spirit an urgency to look for the next adventure, the next new thing..." Charin's eyes had the look of one lost in memory. "She also felt that bonding might bind her in ways that would make her life dull and uninteresting."
"But, I remember how happy my mother and father were, she never seemed restless or resentful." Teyla said, frowning.
"No, you're right, by the time she'd agreed to be bonded to your father, she'd had a complete change of heart. She eventually became aware that to love and to be loved was the greatest adventure of all, but it was many, many days before she understood that for herself."
"Why are you telling me this now, Charin?" Teyla asked, still wary.
"Your father was a patient man and wise enough to know that if he would only love your mother in his own quiet way and wait, she would eventually come to him."
Charin had of course accurately pinpointed the remaining source of Teyla's unease and upset.
"How do you always know just what to say?" She asked in amazement.
"Well, my dear, I know *you*."
*
Teyla and Dr. Beckett returned to Atlantis but Teyla had to turn right around and leave with the team to the prospective alpha-site. It turned out to be a strong possibility, but they would have to take a bigger survey team back there to know for sure. When Major Sheppard returned later in the evening, they would make a final decision on the site.
In the mean time, Teyla went about her usual duties and tried to help were she could. It was mindless work for the most part, which kept her mind free to dwell on the advice Charin had given her about Atlantis and John Sheppard.
Was her situation similar to her parents? If she waited would John come to her? Did she have the patience that her father had? Those questions chased each other around in her brain all day.
There had been a time when they first met, that Teyla had felt a profound connection with John, she was fairly certain that he felt it too, but lately he'd gone out of his way to deny it. He didn't come out and say it, but he'd been giving her subtle messages for weeks- the latest one being his infatuation with Chaya.
Had she imagined his interest in her? Had he simply changed his mind? Or was there some deeper reason known only to John that he didn't want to connect with anyone on an intimate level? Charin seemed to think it was the later, and of course the hopeful part of Teyla wanted to agree.
"I've just heard from Major Sheppard's team, they've been delayed and won't be back till 2300." Dr. Weir's voice brought Teyla out of her reverie. "So, the decision on the new alpha-site will have to wait till tomorrow morning, we'll meet with everyone at 0700. Why don't you get some sleep? You look like you could use it"
"I was going to finish reading these site reports, but you are right Dr. Weir, I would welcome a good night's sleep," said Teyla.
"I know what you mean, I haven't slept all night through for weeks. It's been a tough time for all of us."
*
Cold, fear, paralyzing terror, she was being stalked and was powerless to get away, or defend herself. He was coming closer and closer. 'Move! Move, get up!' She screamed to herself, but it was too late, the Wraith was on her. She fought and fought, thrashing back and forth in her bed, but in her heart she knew it was useless. Just when she should have been dead, he was gone and she was sitting up amidst rumpled covers, trembling and gasping for breath.
John, she had to get to John! Throwing back her cover, Teyla bolted out of bed and into the hallway. She had to get to him before the Wraith did; it was all up to her now, if she didn't get to him in time he'd die. Or maybe it was, if she didn't get to him *she'd* die. It amounted to the same thing really.
"Major Sheppard!" She was knocking on his door. "Major!" When he didn't answer the second time, she keyed the door open with the combination he had given her, and ran to his bedside. 'Oh, God! Oh God', she was too late! John was already dead. Teyla couldn't breathe, as fear and anguish flooded her being.
Sensing a presence behind her she turned to find John's killer standing there, unrepentant. There should have been no escape, but instead of taking her life force the Wraith eyed her as if she were his equal. Teyla experienced a moment of sickening kinship before she awoke for real in her own bed.
*
Morning found Teyla already in the training room trying in vain to shake off the terrors and unsettling images of the night. The dance-like movements of the Ath'nar were excellent for focusing her mind and helping her regain her inner calm.
That was how Sheppard found Teyla. Having come to train a bit himself, he stopped just outside the doorway of the workout area and couldn't keep himself from watching her for just a few minutes before she realized he was standing there.
Looking at Teyla as she trained was like watching a master at work. Her perfect body was so in tune with her mind that she rarely missed a step.
When John first discovered her fighting skill he didn't so much want her to train him to learn for himself - although that was a great benefit - what he really wanted was a chance to watch her up close and personal every day. She was fluid, graceful and beautiful and something in him wanted to reach out and be a part of that.
Graceful beauty. That really summed up who and what Teyla was in or out of the training room. Add that to her calm control and she made up an intriguing puzzle that fascinated John more than he cared to admit.
But fascination was a dangerous thing for him, because what he was fascinated with he tended to obsess over. And obsessions were dangerous, especially for him.
It was probably some compulsive side effect of his left-brain always trying to figure everything out. Only with women or 'a' woman in particular there was no 'figuring it out', not for him. There was only obsession and then pain.
He was fighting his current obsession as hard as he could because in the depths of his soul he knew that this one was different; this pulling compelling need eclipsed all the ones in his past by a long shot. This obsession could cost him everything and it was a price he wasn't prepared to pay- not yet.
He remembered with uncanny clarity the day he realized just how dangerous Teyla was to him. It was a 'nothing' moment really, just two friends watching football and eating popcorn.
They had been talking; he was explaining some detail of the game to her when something he'd said made her laugh. In that one instant her smile cut though his soul like a knife. A depth of intense emotion jerked his heart so hard he couldn't breathe; he'd never felt anything like it and it had scared the hell out of him.
From that point on he tried to avoid her if he wasn't off world with her... but it never worked completely. He still found himself sitting closely to her during a briefing, and then there was the training, of course. John just couldn't bring himself to give that up either.
Enter, Chaya.
He and Teyla had been together non-stop for a couple of days, in one off world mission after another and his defenses were starting to sag. She was always there, right by his side. Supporting his arguments, lending her quiet agreement, fighting by his side, innocently brushing her thigh against his, touching his arm in an off hand manner and he was at the end of his rope. If he didn't get some space between them he would lose it.
Base as it was, he used Chaya to send a message to Teyla so if he couldn't stay away from her, maybe he could get her to stay away from him. Not that he didn't enjoy his time with the Ancient, but that wasn't his primary goal.
He'd felt a little guilty about that until Chaya had shared her thoughts with him and he'd understood that it wasn't really *him* she'd been attracted to, but the familiarity of home, someone who was like herself. She was lonely and he'd been available- end of story.
His plan worked. Lucky him. Teyla stayed away just as John had hoped, but instead of feeling relieved, he felt sick. It never occurred to him when he followed this impulsive course of action that she would actually be hurt by it. She'd never given him any reason to believe that she thought of him as more than a friend, until that night she caught him on his way to meet Chaya.
Teyla's words and outer demeanor were rational and calm as always, but her eyes said something completely different. Her eyes told him he'd betrayed her trust, and he felt like the biggest jerk. Nearly a week of self-reflection had done little to help his state of mind. He would have to make amends with her somehow without furthering 'the obsession'.
"Major Sheppard?" Teyla's voice snapped him out of it and he walked all the way into the training room. "Are you unwell? I called to you several times and you did not answer."
'Shit.' She'd caught him staring at her like a moonstruck teenager. "Uh...no, I'm ah... I'm fine." He stammered out. "Guess I'm still feeling a little 'gate-lag' from the last mission. I didn't get much sleep."
"I was almost finished, Major, so the room is all yours." Teyla walked over to her bag and wiped her forehead with towel sitting on the top.
"Actually, I could use a sparing partner, if you're up for it." John said hopefully.
She almost said no, but something in the way he sounded stopped her. He sounded unsure of himself, like it was very important to him that she stay. "Of course, major."
Teyla threw aside her towel and picked up the long sticks lying by her bag.
TBC
Author- Sanssong
Rating- PG-13 (for some mild language)
Part 1/1
Pairing- Sheppard/Teyla, Weir, McKay, Charin, Ford, Beckett, Bates.
Genre- Romance, Episode Coda
Warnings- None
Spoilers- The Gift,
Summary- The Wraith are coming all of Atlantis is preparing, but John and Teyla both have to gain some perspective about who they are and who they are together.
Disclaimer- I don’t own the characters or the show concept. I make no money from these poor scribblings.
Special thanks to Shelly for the kind beta.
A/N- I know most of you have probably read this story, but I figured I'd do my part to have all J/T stories posted here the the GW LJ!
Chapter 1
The low artificial light, mixed with the streams of sunlight coming through the door of Teyla's room, made a beautifully strange, otherworldly glow, on the floor. But she barely noticed it. Her bag was almost packed and her need to get out of Atlantis as soon as possible was eclipsing everything else.
She needed some time to think- God knows they didn't have much of that, but if she went to the mainland now, she could update her people in person and seek the solace she needed.
Teyla paused a moment and looked around the room. It was still incredible to her that she was here, in the city of the Ancestors, away from the immediate threat of the Wraith, away from constantly running from place to place. She thought she had found stability for the first time in her life and she valued it more than she could say. It wasn't that she wanted to leave Atlantis forever; she just needed to gain perspective- about herself, about her mission with the Terans, and then there was - John Sheppard. She really needed perspective about him.
"Teyla?" John's voice sounded from her doorway. Startled that the focus of her thoughts should appear at that moment, she turned to face him. "Teyla what's going on?" asked a slightly irritated Major Sheppard. "I waited in the training room for half an hour and you didn't show."
"I am sorry Major," Teyla inwardly cringed that she had forgotten their appointment, but outwardly, she retained her normal calm. " I forgot our session was planned for today. Please accept my apologies."
With a slight bow of her head, she turned her attention back to packing. Teyla crossed to the dressing table to retrieve the last item she needed for her journey.
"No problem. It just would have been nice to know before I sat around waiting." John said easily, leaning on the doorframe. He tried to keep his voice normal to mask his very real disappointment when she didn't come.
He hadn't seen Teyla alone in a few days, what with planning for several off-world missions to look for ZPM's, and he needed catch up with her. To see if she was still avoiding him, well, he guessed he'd gotten his answer.
Teyla faltered slightly mid-stride at his words, but recovered herself and placed the last item in her bag.
"I am sorry major," she said, forcing a smile, "it's just that my mind has been engaged in preparations for my trip to the mainland, to see my people. Now that we know that the Wraith are only two weeks from Atlantis, it is very important that I speak with them." 'And it is important that I get away from you for a few days,' she added silently.
"Yeah, about that," he said pushing away from the door, "I still don't understand why you can't just contact them by radio. I really need you on this next mission. These people know you, they trust you."
She couldn't give into this, not now. It was hard for her to deny him anything, but she had to do this, for her own sanity. Yes her people could be told all they needed to know over the radio system provided by the Terans, but she needed to see them, she needed to be away.
"Major, we have been over this already. I must talk to my people in person and I have personally contacted the Edraneese. They are looking forward to meeting you and helping you in whatever way they can. It will not be like the Genii, I assure you."
"Won't be the same without you..." he teased. "You know Rodney will drive me crazy, complaining the whole way there and back."
Teyla's smile was genuine this time, "It is one mission Major Sheppard, I think you can handle Dr. McKay on your own for that long."
Finished packing, she slung the bag with her belongings over her shoulder and headed for the door, stopping just in front of John she turned to face him.
"I will be back in a few days time, but I must go, John." She willed him to understand what she could not say aloud.
John looked away hoping the look in her eyes didn't mean what he thought it meant. He already felt like the biggest fool making an ass of himself over Chaya, the Ancient they encountered, but if he was reading Teyla correctly, he had hurt her, despite her assurances to the contrary. He didn't have the right to pressure her further.
"I'll see you when you get back."
*
The Athosian's camp was looking more like a well-organized village every time she visited. The large round tents they lived and worked in were arranged in three long rows, with a cluster of four or five at the far end of the camp.
Teyla was proud that her people had recovered so quickly from the events of the last several months. They were hard working, good people, her people. It felt right being here with them again, and as she breathed in the smell of aromatic smoke produced by the cook fires located around the camp, it felt as if she had come home.
This had always been her favorite time of day, the meal just before sundown; it reminded her of the meals she shared with her mother and father. Yes, it was good to be home.
"Teyla! It's Teyla, she's back!" shouted a very excited Jinto as he came bounding toward her. "Look, father, Teyla has come to visit us!"
Following not too far behind his son, Halling smiled fondly at his son's enthusiastic outburst. Teyla caught his eye and they shared a knowing smile. Returning her attention to the excited thirteen year old, she stepped forward and touched her forehead to his in the traditional Athosian greeting.
"Jinto, I am pleased to see you as well. Thank you for welcoming me so...loudly."
Halling laughed as he also stepped forward to greet their guest.
"It has been too many days since you came to us Teyla. Have you been well?"
"Yes, I am well, old friend, but I have been unable to come to you before now. We have increased our off-world missions in hopes of finding the power sources necessary to restore protective shields to Atlantis before we have to defend ourselves against the Wraith." Motioning with her head for Halling to follow her, she began walking toward the dwelling set aside for her periodic visits.
"Jinto, go to Mela's dwelling and tell him that Teyla has arrived from Atlantis." Jinto looked disappointed, but obediently left to find Mela.
"Have you been successful...in locating these...power sources?" Halling asked hopefully.
"Unfortunately, we have not yet been successful, but the missions continue even as I am here with you."
"So, you have come to give us news of the Wraith." It wasn't a question so much as a statement of fact. Halling was very familiar with the look on Teyla's face, he had seen it many times before and it always meant one thing; Wraith.
She stopped walking and turned to face him. "The Wraith are but two weeks from Atlantis. I have come to address the council and explain what must be done."
*
"No, Mela, it is not possible. Atlantis still has no protective shields, we will not be safe in the city." Teyla understood the older man's point of view, but didn't share it.
"But, they have such wondrous weapons and defenses, surely we would be safer there?" This question from the middle aged woman sitting next to Teyla.
"Yes, you are right Te'an, they do have many weapons, but even those will not protect us from the Wraith when they come." She paused to make eye contact with each member of the council. "We have one and only one advantage in our current situation. The Wraith do not know we are here. They think all the inhabitants of this planet live in the city of Atlantis. Because of that, if we are very cunning, we can hide all evidence of our settlement and escape their notice."
"But, what of the Terans?" Halling asked frowning. "Are we not going to help them fight the Wraith? Is it right for us to hide while they defend us?" Several other councilmen nodded in agreement.
"Dr. Weir and Major Sheppard both agree that the Athosians should stay together to protect the children and those too old to fight for themselves. They also believe that if they die defending Atlantis, at least someone would survive."
*
The Atlantian sun was just rising over the trees as Teyla looked around the busy encampment. She was satisfied that the preparation for evacuation was going well. 'How many times had they done this?' she mused to herself. Too many, but it was the only way of life she had ever known. There was some comfort for her in the familiar. Not, much, but some. Sighing heavily, she stepped away from the opening of her tent; perhaps some meditation would help settle her thoughts.
"Teyla, my young student, you look troubled." The voice was that of her old mentor, Charin. Upon hearing it, Teyla turned to watch as Charin walked toward her.
Charin was a woman of perhaps seventy summers and the years had been quite kind to her lined face. She still retained more than a shadow of the beauty she once was. Teyla loved her greatly and valued her patient teaching and wisdom.
"I'm afraid I've come with unpleasant news for the village. The Wraith are on their way here and we have only a few short days to prepare ourselves."
"Yes, my dear, I've heard that news already," she said, smiling wearily. "Bad news travels very quickly. But that is not all that troubles you young one; I can see it in your eyes."
"I never could hide my thoughts from you Charin, I used to think you could read my mind when I was a child!" she sighed again, knowing she wouldn't be able to evade her friend's questions. "Very well." Teyla gently guided Charin back inside the tent, She helped Charin sit down in a worn wooden chair positioned by a cluttered worktable; Teyla took the chair next to it.
"Yes," Teyla continued, "I am troubled about more than just the Wraith. I have been struggling to find my place among the Terans." She paused to gather her thoughts. "I find myself at odds with their methods of dealing with the people they encounter." Unable to sit still, Teyla got up and began to pace in the middle of the tent.
"They are rash, and at times self-serving. Sometimes, they are too eager to use force to solve the dilemma's they create, or find themselves in." Stopping at the far end of the tent, her back to her old teacher, Teyla wrapped her arms in front of her and continued. "Yet, in the very next moment, they are capable of such kindness and compassion, that I am left wondering what to think. They risked their lives to save our people and others; they give of what they have freely, and they have the same reverence for the Ancestors as we do."
"I see," Charin murmured understandingly.
"It is not that I am regretting my decision to work with the Terans, it is just that sometimes, I feel as if I will never fit in there, or understand their ways."
"Your father used to say that you don't have to see eye to eye with people to fight by their side."
"Yes, I remember," Teyla, said wistfully, "it is that advice that I took to heart when I stayed to fight the Wraith with them." Teyla turned back to the old woman and crooked a half smile, "I don't think my father would have done something so rash as to leave his own people to fight along side another."
"Rash?" Charin asked, raising an eyebrow. "You think what you have done is rash? Teyla, what you have done is necessary. You serve your people best by helping the Terans defeat the Wraith. They are gifted with the city of the Ancestors and it is only right that you should fight by their side."
Charin rose, walked to Teyla and grasped her hand with frail fingers. Looking into the younger woman's eyes she spoke very softly. "Not everything we do in our lives is completely understood at the time we are doing it, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done."
Teyla held Charin's gaze for a moment, letting her words reach deep into the unsettled places of her heart. Charin was right as always, she was doing what was necessary, and she felt the assurance once more that she would be proved right in the end. After all, she was Teyla Emmagen, leader and defender of her people, and she would do what she must, even if she didn't always understand it, to see them safe.
But that still left John... That problem would not be so easy to solve, she feared.
"Thank you, Charin. Your wisdom still amazes me even after all these years." Teyla added her free hand to the one Charin was grasping with hers and touched her forehead to her friend's.
"Teyla!" A voice called from outside the tent dwelling. "Teyla, are ye in here?"
"Dr. Beckett?"
Carson poked his head through the opening of the tent. "Ah, good, ah 'tis you! Halling wasn't sure where you were. I'm afraid I've come ta take you back ta Atlantis."
Instantly alarmed, Teyla grabbed her bag and started for the door.
"Oh, no, no, it's no' an emergency, it's just that we've found another possibility for an alpha-site and Major Sheppard and his team are still with the Edraneese. Dr. Weir wanted you ta go with the second team an' look at the new site." Carson looked sheepishly apologetic. "I'm sorry, m'dear."
Teyla relaxed visibly, and let her bag slide back to the floor. "Give me a moment, Dr. Beckett, I need to give some last minute instructions to the council. I will meet you at the Jumper in ten minutes."
Carson agreed withdrawing from the opening of the tent. Teyla moved to follow him, but was brought up short by Charin's voice sounding behind her.
"What do you know about your father and your mother's courtship?" Charin asked, a curious look playing over her weathered face.
Teyla was instantly wary, not sure where Charin might be headed with her unexpected question. She hadn't told her mentor about her feelings for Major Sheppard, or the disappointment she'd suffered over John's recent behavior, but that didn't mean Charin didn't know.
Being a private person, Teyla was reluctant to discuss her romantic life with anyone, even someone who knew her as well as Charin did, but it was beneath her to be rude to anyone, much less a person of her years and respect among their people.
"Just that they waited a long time before becoming bonded help-mates, much longer than most in our village."
"But you do not know why, do you?"
"No." Teyla answered honestly.
"Your mother was always looking for something. She possessed within her spirit an urgency to look for the next adventure, the next new thing..." Charin's eyes had the look of one lost in memory. "She also felt that bonding might bind her in ways that would make her life dull and uninteresting."
"But, I remember how happy my mother and father were, she never seemed restless or resentful." Teyla said, frowning.
"No, you're right, by the time she'd agreed to be bonded to your father, she'd had a complete change of heart. She eventually became aware that to love and to be loved was the greatest adventure of all, but it was many, many days before she understood that for herself."
"Why are you telling me this now, Charin?" Teyla asked, still wary.
"Your father was a patient man and wise enough to know that if he would only love your mother in his own quiet way and wait, she would eventually come to him."
Charin had of course accurately pinpointed the remaining source of Teyla's unease and upset.
"How do you always know just what to say?" She asked in amazement.
"Well, my dear, I know *you*."
*
Teyla and Dr. Beckett returned to Atlantis but Teyla had to turn right around and leave with the team to the prospective alpha-site. It turned out to be a strong possibility, but they would have to take a bigger survey team back there to know for sure. When Major Sheppard returned later in the evening, they would make a final decision on the site.
In the mean time, Teyla went about her usual duties and tried to help were she could. It was mindless work for the most part, which kept her mind free to dwell on the advice Charin had given her about Atlantis and John Sheppard.
Was her situation similar to her parents? If she waited would John come to her? Did she have the patience that her father had? Those questions chased each other around in her brain all day.
There had been a time when they first met, that Teyla had felt a profound connection with John, she was fairly certain that he felt it too, but lately he'd gone out of his way to deny it. He didn't come out and say it, but he'd been giving her subtle messages for weeks- the latest one being his infatuation with Chaya.
Had she imagined his interest in her? Had he simply changed his mind? Or was there some deeper reason known only to John that he didn't want to connect with anyone on an intimate level? Charin seemed to think it was the later, and of course the hopeful part of Teyla wanted to agree.
"I've just heard from Major Sheppard's team, they've been delayed and won't be back till 2300." Dr. Weir's voice brought Teyla out of her reverie. "So, the decision on the new alpha-site will have to wait till tomorrow morning, we'll meet with everyone at 0700. Why don't you get some sleep? You look like you could use it"
"I was going to finish reading these site reports, but you are right Dr. Weir, I would welcome a good night's sleep," said Teyla.
"I know what you mean, I haven't slept all night through for weeks. It's been a tough time for all of us."
*
Cold, fear, paralyzing terror, she was being stalked and was powerless to get away, or defend herself. He was coming closer and closer. 'Move! Move, get up!' She screamed to herself, but it was too late, the Wraith was on her. She fought and fought, thrashing back and forth in her bed, but in her heart she knew it was useless. Just when she should have been dead, he was gone and she was sitting up amidst rumpled covers, trembling and gasping for breath.
John, she had to get to John! Throwing back her cover, Teyla bolted out of bed and into the hallway. She had to get to him before the Wraith did; it was all up to her now, if she didn't get to him in time he'd die. Or maybe it was, if she didn't get to him *she'd* die. It amounted to the same thing really.
"Major Sheppard!" She was knocking on his door. "Major!" When he didn't answer the second time, she keyed the door open with the combination he had given her, and ran to his bedside. 'Oh, God! Oh God', she was too late! John was already dead. Teyla couldn't breathe, as fear and anguish flooded her being.
Sensing a presence behind her she turned to find John's killer standing there, unrepentant. There should have been no escape, but instead of taking her life force the Wraith eyed her as if she were his equal. Teyla experienced a moment of sickening kinship before she awoke for real in her own bed.
*
Morning found Teyla already in the training room trying in vain to shake off the terrors and unsettling images of the night. The dance-like movements of the Ath'nar were excellent for focusing her mind and helping her regain her inner calm.
That was how Sheppard found Teyla. Having come to train a bit himself, he stopped just outside the doorway of the workout area and couldn't keep himself from watching her for just a few minutes before she realized he was standing there.
Looking at Teyla as she trained was like watching a master at work. Her perfect body was so in tune with her mind that she rarely missed a step.
When John first discovered her fighting skill he didn't so much want her to train him to learn for himself - although that was a great benefit - what he really wanted was a chance to watch her up close and personal every day. She was fluid, graceful and beautiful and something in him wanted to reach out and be a part of that.
Graceful beauty. That really summed up who and what Teyla was in or out of the training room. Add that to her calm control and she made up an intriguing puzzle that fascinated John more than he cared to admit.
But fascination was a dangerous thing for him, because what he was fascinated with he tended to obsess over. And obsessions were dangerous, especially for him.
It was probably some compulsive side effect of his left-brain always trying to figure everything out. Only with women or 'a' woman in particular there was no 'figuring it out', not for him. There was only obsession and then pain.
He was fighting his current obsession as hard as he could because in the depths of his soul he knew that this one was different; this pulling compelling need eclipsed all the ones in his past by a long shot. This obsession could cost him everything and it was a price he wasn't prepared to pay- not yet.
He remembered with uncanny clarity the day he realized just how dangerous Teyla was to him. It was a 'nothing' moment really, just two friends watching football and eating popcorn.
They had been talking; he was explaining some detail of the game to her when something he'd said made her laugh. In that one instant her smile cut though his soul like a knife. A depth of intense emotion jerked his heart so hard he couldn't breathe; he'd never felt anything like it and it had scared the hell out of him.
From that point on he tried to avoid her if he wasn't off world with her... but it never worked completely. He still found himself sitting closely to her during a briefing, and then there was the training, of course. John just couldn't bring himself to give that up either.
Enter, Chaya.
He and Teyla had been together non-stop for a couple of days, in one off world mission after another and his defenses were starting to sag. She was always there, right by his side. Supporting his arguments, lending her quiet agreement, fighting by his side, innocently brushing her thigh against his, touching his arm in an off hand manner and he was at the end of his rope. If he didn't get some space between them he would lose it.
Base as it was, he used Chaya to send a message to Teyla so if he couldn't stay away from her, maybe he could get her to stay away from him. Not that he didn't enjoy his time with the Ancient, but that wasn't his primary goal.
He'd felt a little guilty about that until Chaya had shared her thoughts with him and he'd understood that it wasn't really *him* she'd been attracted to, but the familiarity of home, someone who was like herself. She was lonely and he'd been available- end of story.
His plan worked. Lucky him. Teyla stayed away just as John had hoped, but instead of feeling relieved, he felt sick. It never occurred to him when he followed this impulsive course of action that she would actually be hurt by it. She'd never given him any reason to believe that she thought of him as more than a friend, until that night she caught him on his way to meet Chaya.
Teyla's words and outer demeanor were rational and calm as always, but her eyes said something completely different. Her eyes told him he'd betrayed her trust, and he felt like the biggest jerk. Nearly a week of self-reflection had done little to help his state of mind. He would have to make amends with her somehow without furthering 'the obsession'.
"Major Sheppard?" Teyla's voice snapped him out of it and he walked all the way into the training room. "Are you unwell? I called to you several times and you did not answer."
'Shit.' She'd caught him staring at her like a moonstruck teenager. "Uh...no, I'm ah... I'm fine." He stammered out. "Guess I'm still feeling a little 'gate-lag' from the last mission. I didn't get much sleep."
"I was almost finished, Major, so the room is all yours." Teyla walked over to her bag and wiped her forehead with towel sitting on the top.
"Actually, I could use a sparing partner, if you're up for it." John said hopefully.
She almost said no, but something in the way he sounded stopped her. He sounded unsure of himself, like it was very important to him that she stay. "Of course, major."
Teyla threw aside her towel and picked up the long sticks lying by her bag.
TBC