life as it is.
it's almost as if the last week getting better with him made everything worse. i hate how i feel. i hate that i am so analytical and think about everything in every possible way that it could possibly mean. i hate text messaging, its' not fair that i can' tell their "tone" or mood via texts. eff technology. i hate that my heart won't mend. i hate that my mind plays tricks on me. i hate that he can't figure shit out. i hate that i can't be patient. i hate that i feel like iam standing in a crowded room spinning, no where to go. i hate that kelly klarkson's "since u been gone" just turned on my i-tunes shuffle. touche. i wish i knew where it went wrong. and what i did in my life to deserve this. who knows, maybe this is just one big learning experience.. i don't know, but i wish i did. all i ever want to do is cry, it's the only thing that remotely makes me feel better anymore. i want to move out. i miss natalie being here. im sick of the restaurant. i am sick of school. i miss mattt. im sick of all the drama with young life that i am associated with. nothing makes sense anymore. i hate being fucked over, again and again and again. im done putting myself out there for other people. i need a remedy. quick.