Spring flowers are blossoming everywhere lately. The Camilia at the front of Gnomepants Manor is a shock of pink and looks very pretty. Furthermore, the well tended gardens at the front of the town hall in Barnsley are awash with fragrance and colour. As the daffodils of March die back, the tulips of April thrust skywards bold and proud and here ( Read more... )

Inspired by my last post here are some works of literature in 140 characters or less.

King Solomon's Mines - A map? Lets go. Here we are. Oooh look out. Oh no we've got no diamonds. We did have an adventure though ( Read more... )

It's been a long while since I've had a rant. I'm a lot calmer these days what with not being in an awful job and the accumulative effect of the beta blockers I've been on for the past 5 years. I guess also I'm a bit better at bottling things up or not letting things get to me as much. So when therealljidol set this weeks topic as Rants I was kind of at a loss ( Read more... )

When I was a nipper, I hoped for a shiny new bike. Times were hard in 1970's so I ended up with a polished and touched up Raleigh Tomahawk previously owned by my brothers. Of course, as time passed and affluence increased so did my aspirations for gifts. December would come and I would sit by the fire with Argos Catalogue in hand and scour the ( Read more... )

Long ago. Well...maybe not that long ago. More like 34 years ago. But for the purpose of creating a dramatic atmosphere I'll say long ago. Anyway, long ago (back in the woolly wilds of the 1970s) in a galaxy far far away. Again this is a bit of an exaggeration, it was actually closer than that. More like here. This galaxy. I came to this planet in ( Read more... )

Bras eh? Mrs Gnomepants tells me she has her eyes on a sports bra to assist in her current "keep fit by doing Billy Blanks Tai Bo DVD's" regime. Indeed, not being a completely ignorant male, I am aware that these garments cost a fair whack. What I don't understand is why ( Read more... )

Today I left my phone at home. Not on purpose mind but by accident. What a bizarre experience.

( And then he whopped it out onto the table for us all to gasp at )

Welcome aboard the Barnsley Boogie Bus. I'm Stegzy Gnomepants and I will be your guide on today's tour. Please form an orderly queue. I know some of you are from the colonies where queuing is a new thing but this is the Great and Glorious Empire and Kingdom of Great Britain. Queuing is part of the British constitution.


( Read more... )

Last nights DIY efforts were once again thwarted by Mr Drip and his extended family. I've never seen so much rain in all my life. The forecast this week predicts more rain. If it rains anymore the Atlantic will drop 5ft in level and the colonials will be able to walk over here (Though theoretically they would have to go via Greenland and Iceland in ( Read more... )

There's 16 days until my annual two week holiday begins. This year, as with other years, I am keen to go to Wales. Mrs Gnomepants is keen to spend as little as possible. I'm still going to push for Wales though, maybe with a stop off in Liverpool for a couple of nights so that we can catch up with those people we don't normally have time to meet up ( Read more... )