(no subject)
Onward with the Steamraise-isms!
Shockingly, I have more whining to do. After little deliberation, I have decided to disable "comments" on this post, so that reason and experience will not interfere with my exhilarating and informative rants.
I'll take off (numerically!) where I left off:
3. Though you may be charmed by her matronly figure and thickly-applied makeup, never /ever/ trust any woman named Laurel*. Come on, we all have meet or associated with a Laurel. I've actually have the misfortune of working with a couple of 'em. My poor mother works with one too**. I don't know what mother nature was smoking the day that she built Laurels, or what insight Laurels' parents had in naming them uniformly (perhaps identification purposes when they congregate for the mother ship?), but maaaan, they're always a piece of work. Be aware that they are versatile and can range in degrees of annoying behavior. Sometimes they're just irritating know-it-alls, but at other times they're all-out biatches. For your edification, safety, and to make this paragraph a little longer, I'll let you know Laurels' three universal traits: 1. Big bones (not always tall, but usually wide, especially at the hip level), and if not big bones, then small bones covered with a generous helpin' of adipose tissue. 2. Bossy or manipulative, sometimes both at once! 3. Vestigial arm -- often hidden by Target poly-blend twinset. Be warned.
4. This Steamraise-ism is less of a public service announcement. I think I can safely say that this a personal rant, or even supplication. I have never imagined I'd tackle etiquette on Live Journal or in any other public forum. I've got close relatives that keep their iceboxes closed with duct tape and prayer. But lately, it seems like common civility has been taking it square to the jaw! Here's my question (rhetorical, I think). Why doesn't anyone, anywhere ever send out moving announcements? Am I the last of the Mohicans on this one? I have friends, old friends, that move routinely and constantly fail to notify me of their new addresses. I send a card, a letter, or a box of lingerie to their old address and it's returned to me. Sometimes I get lucky and the post office gifts me with their new address, but often it it returned stamped "No Forwarding Address." Is it just too much trouble to send out an email, or heaven forbid, get a government entity involved? People, stop watching all those Tivo'ed episodes of Project Runway and mail out a moving announcement! I don't care if you're not moving anywhere -- put in your current address. Do it. It'll feel good, because you're doing good.
Ms. Steamraise Post, out.
* This paragraph may also apply to unfortunate women named "Terry."
** My mom disagrees with this installment of Steamraise-isms. Though she is coming around on the lifted-truck theory... I mean, FACT. (see Steamraise-ism #1)
Shockingly, I have more whining to do. After little deliberation, I have decided to disable "comments" on this post, so that reason and experience will not interfere with my exhilarating and informative rants.
I'll take off (numerically!) where I left off:
3. Though you may be charmed by her matronly figure and thickly-applied makeup, never /ever/ trust any woman named Laurel*. Come on, we all have meet or associated with a Laurel. I've actually have the misfortune of working with a couple of 'em. My poor mother works with one too**. I don't know what mother nature was smoking the day that she built Laurels, or what insight Laurels' parents had in naming them uniformly (perhaps identification purposes when they congregate for the mother ship?), but maaaan, they're always a piece of work. Be aware that they are versatile and can range in degrees of annoying behavior. Sometimes they're just irritating know-it-alls, but at other times they're all-out biatches. For your edification, safety, and to make this paragraph a little longer, I'll let you know Laurels' three universal traits: 1. Big bones (not always tall, but usually wide, especially at the hip level), and if not big bones, then small bones covered with a generous helpin' of adipose tissue. 2. Bossy or manipulative, sometimes both at once! 3. Vestigial arm -- often hidden by Target poly-blend twinset. Be warned.
4. This Steamraise-ism is less of a public service announcement. I think I can safely say that this a personal rant, or even supplication. I have never imagined I'd tackle etiquette on Live Journal or in any other public forum. I've got close relatives that keep their iceboxes closed with duct tape and prayer. But lately, it seems like common civility has been taking it square to the jaw! Here's my question (rhetorical, I think). Why doesn't anyone, anywhere ever send out moving announcements? Am I the last of the Mohicans on this one? I have friends, old friends, that move routinely and constantly fail to notify me of their new addresses. I send a card, a letter, or a box of lingerie to their old address and it's returned to me. Sometimes I get lucky and the post office gifts me with their new address, but often it it returned stamped "No Forwarding Address." Is it just too much trouble to send out an email, or heaven forbid, get a government entity involved? People, stop watching all those Tivo'ed episodes of Project Runway and mail out a moving announcement! I don't care if you're not moving anywhere -- put in your current address. Do it. It'll feel good, because you're doing good.
Ms. Steamraise Post, out.
* This paragraph may also apply to unfortunate women named "Terry."
** My mom disagrees with this installment of Steamraise-isms. Though she is coming around on the lifted-truck theory... I mean, FACT. (see Steamraise-ism #1)