waking up relieved
So i feel alot better. I'm not mad anymore, because i knew why i was that mad in the first place. it was all out of pain. I was more mad at myself than anything else because .... maybe i could have stopped this before it got too far and i got hurt.I fell for someone. that's not a crime, and that does go to show that i'm not completely numb against the world and dating that i can still like someone.....THAT much. but for every new beginning, i hope for a new end. however, this almost feels like the end and it's still the SAME. My life lately has been pretty routine and i like that. I have 1) a steady job that i can rely on, and get some ok amount of money out of it. 2) a best friend that has saved me from time to time. 3) well.....my family isn't so great at times, but i can deal with that.
everything seemed to have fallen into place. but the one thing i can't seem to get a grip on his the dating world. everyone around me is falling inlove and i'm just inlove with watching it happen. i can deal with being alone for as long as it takes to find someone great. that's why i broke up with my 2 year relationship. even though there was love, i knew that he wasn't the one, so i ended it to wait, for as long as it would take. i knew i would be single for a while. but i didn't know i would have to go through all of this in the middle. i guess i didn't consider the fact that the whole process with finding "the one" or atleast "the one for right now" i would have to go through bad guy....after bad guy...after bad guy. after all this time i just feel like stopping time.....
maybe i'm taking too much of an assumption here...and the outcome might be different. because like i said, i KNOW i'm not psychic. but it's not hard to assume what's about to happen, especially when i already went through this before. it won't hurt to hope i guess. that when i FINALLY have that chance...that fair chance.....to freely feel for someone without getting hurt, it'll be the best feeling in the world.
everything seemed to have fallen into place. but the one thing i can't seem to get a grip on his the dating world. everyone around me is falling inlove and i'm just inlove with watching it happen. i can deal with being alone for as long as it takes to find someone great. that's why i broke up with my 2 year relationship. even though there was love, i knew that he wasn't the one, so i ended it to wait, for as long as it would take. i knew i would be single for a while. but i didn't know i would have to go through all of this in the middle. i guess i didn't consider the fact that the whole process with finding "the one" or atleast "the one for right now" i would have to go through bad guy....after bad guy...after bad guy. after all this time i just feel like stopping time.....
maybe i'm taking too much of an assumption here...and the outcome might be different. because like i said, i KNOW i'm not psychic. but it's not hard to assume what's about to happen, especially when i already went through this before. it won't hurt to hope i guess. that when i FINALLY have that chance...that fair chance.....to freely feel for someone without getting hurt, it'll be the best feeling in the world.