"What is a friend?"
"A single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle
I tried to describe to two separate people today my issue and neither of them could understand - perhaps that is, in itself, an answer.
Sometimes, friendships and relationships are organic. They develop and grow and form as if they were designed to be there from birth. It's almost a symbiotic relationship - the pair develop and grow and nurture one another. And then sometimes, it feels as though some friendships and relationships are like shoes that are half a size too big or small. They fit, kind of. But it's not as comfortable as it could be or should be. It's constant adjustment and trying to adapt...
I have a lot of people in my life who I have built healthy, functional relationships and friendships with. But for some people, our relationship appears to be organic - because they're getting what they want. I fit into their lives or their concept of where I should be in their life. I'm comfortable for them there - so comfortable, that they don't see me adjusting constantly, shuffling my feet, trying to figure out where I stand. In almost all of these cases, I've contributed to the problem because I got attached to these people and was willing to deal with the discomfort - I can't think of a single one of these situations in which I didn't actively cause my own problem.
So now the question becomes "how do I right the situation?" My gut instinct - my first, most basic idea is to walk forward, not looking back, burning bridges as I go. But is a bit of discomfort worth throwing people away for? Is a lot of discomfort? Is it worth walking away from people who are otherwise friends, but for the times in which they don't hear what I'm saying or listen to what I'm voicing?
I don't have any answers. I can't even tell if I'm asking questions I should be asking or if I'm just losing it.
I tried to describe to two separate people today my issue and neither of them could understand - perhaps that is, in itself, an answer.
Sometimes, friendships and relationships are organic. They develop and grow and form as if they were designed to be there from birth. It's almost a symbiotic relationship - the pair develop and grow and nurture one another. And then sometimes, it feels as though some friendships and relationships are like shoes that are half a size too big or small. They fit, kind of. But it's not as comfortable as it could be or should be. It's constant adjustment and trying to adapt...
I have a lot of people in my life who I have built healthy, functional relationships and friendships with. But for some people, our relationship appears to be organic - because they're getting what they want. I fit into their lives or their concept of where I should be in their life. I'm comfortable for them there - so comfortable, that they don't see me adjusting constantly, shuffling my feet, trying to figure out where I stand. In almost all of these cases, I've contributed to the problem because I got attached to these people and was willing to deal with the discomfort - I can't think of a single one of these situations in which I didn't actively cause my own problem.
So now the question becomes "how do I right the situation?" My gut instinct - my first, most basic idea is to walk forward, not looking back, burning bridges as I go. But is a bit of discomfort worth throwing people away for? Is a lot of discomfort? Is it worth walking away from people who are otherwise friends, but for the times in which they don't hear what I'm saying or listen to what I'm voicing?
I don't have any answers. I can't even tell if I'm asking questions I should be asking or if I'm just losing it.