Here CE: My update. things are going okay. I love senior year. Except for that whole applying for college thingy. That blows. I am having major issues with my mother thinking i am an alcoholic pothead when anyone who knows me even a little knows how much that isn;t true. Yarg. I just got fired from my first non-acting job. Whoops. That sucks. ( Read more... )

I havent written in years, so i thought, what the hell, i m depressed again, why not? Things are going swell then why am i so upset? I feel ugly all over- un wanted, and un loved. then again i feel popular and accepted. Homecoming sucks. You can be queen and still feel horrible and socially deformed because guys avoid you like the plauge. ( Read more... )

Ahh! I have it. As nerdy as this sounds, the 5th Harry Potter book is sitting on my bed at this very moment and I am excersizing my self control by not ripping open the bag at this very moment. Good for me.

its 3 am and i dont know what im doing it feels so close the the end god why do i do this i have no one to go to my mother told me never to call after midnight now what go and hide and run away and find something better like its simple three tears fall in perfect lines like a well-rehearsed danced--theyve done this before three tears and no more ( Read more... )

And the emotional rollercoaster begins to fall. The sad thing is, I only use this when I am distraught. Trust me, I am a very happy person. Just not all the time.

Funny how things happen. This play thing--it was a big deal for me. I was only a semi-finalist. BUT I am now eligible for the ARTS scholarship (which is a masive deal) and i get to skip the first round of judging and go straight to the second round. Fun surprise...Maybe it will work out after all.

So much for my pride. I get pushed into writing a play for a contset, and i have everyones faith behind me fully....then i go and lose. Horribly. Maybe theatre isnt meant for me after all... a little too close to my play's plot for comfort. I just wish that after all of my hard work, i could have something to show off. Everyone else has medals ( Read more... )

I really have nothing to sya, yet I felel the obligation to say something. Come to think of it, I took SO many keyboarding classes in like 7th grade, but I never learned where the keys were or how to type fast. THEN cam AOL AIM. I know do not even look down when I type, and I can type as fast as i can talk. God bless instant messenger. Had it ( Read more... )

God, I havent cried in months. It feels like crap until you get it all out. Everyone turning on you....where do you go...? The internet. No one sees your pain, no one can prey on your insecurities, no one can hurt you... you check your email...two spam and a message from someone you know telling you how worthless you life is. Swell. I listen to ( Read more... )

ON THE OTHER HAND, How awful was that show of celebrity pig-headedness, when that horrible man, whatever he won the Oscar for, best documentary editing or something, went off on the war and the president. The Oscars is a chance for people to get away from life! That is the wonderful thing about the arts---- It isn't real. The fact that he bad- ( Read more... )