I jinxed myself!!
Okay, so in my last entry I talked about how great everything was and that it could change in an instant. Well, it kind of did. Most of it, if not all of it, had to do with Cortney. There's nothing wrong between us, he just has some issues with the Gospel that really worry me. So, Thursday night I broke up with him. I know it's kind of rude to do it on Valentine's Day... but I didn't break up with him in the sense that I never want to see him again, we just aren't exclusive. I can't put my life on hold for someone that does what he does. Plus, the distance really really sucks. It's so much harder than I thought. But, I didn't know how he would react and I wanted to give him time to decide whether or not he wanted to take me out when I go home next week. He was really understanding and not very surprised. He knew it wouldn't last very long because I'm up at college hanging out with guys that are right around the corner from me, whereas he's 1000 miles away. I told him I still wanted to see him when I go home and he said that was a good thing because he still has plans for us and really wants to see me too. But it still hurts. It's been a long time since I've cared so much for someone. And I know it's what I needed to do, there's no doubt about that in my mind, but it still doesn't make the fact that I had to do it any easier. I just really hope he changes eventually. I'll be waiting for him when he does. He's still an amazing guy and my feelings for him haven't changed... but I worry about it every night that I don't talk to him and it's not something I should have to worry about. It's not something I want to worry about. So we're still good friends, I still consider us dating, and I can't wait to see him in less than a week!!!
My dog, Mia, died last night. How sad is that?!? I feel so bad for my mom, that dog was like her sixth child. And the dog died in my mom's arms. So sad...
School is going well. Today I'm going to finish my designs for my letter-head, business card and envelope for my fictional company. I've received great feedback on them and I am so proud of them. They really look professional. Yay! I'm doing better in Biology. We talked about Cell Respiration and I actually understood it. How exciting!!
Snowboarding was great yesterday. The sun was out on the mountains, I could actually see the Tetons and they are amzing mountains. They're massive! There wasn't too much fresh powder because it hasn't snowed in the last couple days, but it wasn't packed too tightly. I am getting so much better at my turns! I'm going down steeper runs and connecting my turns and it's pretty freakin sweet. I fell a lot yesterday, but that's what happens when you try new things... you have to find out what works and what doesn't work. If I fall, it doesn't work, so I fix it. But all in all it was a great day.
I go home on Thursday! I'm so excited to get out of Rexburg for a few days. It will be a very much needed break and it will be so muchfun to hang out with my friends and to see Cortney one more time before he goes to Iraq next month. I can't wait to see my family. It's crazy to think that in a week and a half I'm going to be 21! I feel so official, haha. I'm going to have a party with my friends in LA and I'll throw myself a party on my actual birthday up here in Rexburg because I come back the day before my birthday. Yay for going home!
So all in all I'm doing well. My heart is aching a little bit but that's part of life. I'm loving life out here, I have awesome friends and I'm doing well in school. I'm learning more about myself every day and it's really cool to look back and see how much I've changed since I've been up at school here. I definitely know this is where I need to be.
My dog, Mia, died last night. How sad is that?!? I feel so bad for my mom, that dog was like her sixth child. And the dog died in my mom's arms. So sad...
School is going well. Today I'm going to finish my designs for my letter-head, business card and envelope for my fictional company. I've received great feedback on them and I am so proud of them. They really look professional. Yay! I'm doing better in Biology. We talked about Cell Respiration and I actually understood it. How exciting!!
Snowboarding was great yesterday. The sun was out on the mountains, I could actually see the Tetons and they are amzing mountains. They're massive! There wasn't too much fresh powder because it hasn't snowed in the last couple days, but it wasn't packed too tightly. I am getting so much better at my turns! I'm going down steeper runs and connecting my turns and it's pretty freakin sweet. I fell a lot yesterday, but that's what happens when you try new things... you have to find out what works and what doesn't work. If I fall, it doesn't work, so I fix it. But all in all it was a great day.
I go home on Thursday! I'm so excited to get out of Rexburg for a few days. It will be a very much needed break and it will be so muchfun to hang out with my friends and to see Cortney one more time before he goes to Iraq next month. I can't wait to see my family. It's crazy to think that in a week and a half I'm going to be 21! I feel so official, haha. I'm going to have a party with my friends in LA and I'll throw myself a party on my actual birthday up here in Rexburg because I come back the day before my birthday. Yay for going home!
So all in all I'm doing well. My heart is aching a little bit but that's part of life. I'm loving life out here, I have awesome friends and I'm doing well in school. I'm learning more about myself every day and it's really cool to look back and see how much I've changed since I've been up at school here. I definitely know this is where I need to be.