eventful weekend...
a lot happened this weekend...
" Left uninspired by the crust of railroad earth that touched the lead to the pages of your manuscript.
I took my thumb off the concrete and saved up all my strength to hammer pillars for a picket fence.
It wasn't quiet what it seemed... a lack of pleasantries (my able body isn't what it used to be).
I must admist i was charmed by your advances... your advantage left me helplessly into you.
Talking how the group had begun to splinter and i could taste your lipstick on the filter...
I tried my best to keep my distance from your dress but call-response overturns conviction every time.
My memory cannot recall... a wave of alcohol we shared a cigarette and shaved the hours off.
Lushing with the hallway congregation, my best judgment signed its resignation.
I rushed this...
We moved too fast, and tripped into the guest room "
- i went to see my parents in memphis...it was a 9 hour drive with stops... about half an hour into it i discovered that my cruise control didn't work... awesome
- We ate at :
Which is famous... it's a bbq place. and it was really good
leaving memphis, i missed my exit and ended up in mississippi... and took an almost 2 hour detour.... here are some highlights...
apparently it was the scenic route... here's one of the fine homesteads (and a great example of the views) on this scenic road...
- When i finally got back on to the road i was supposed to be on, i passed through some interesting towns...
- In Arkansas:
it's a comforting thought...
In Texas:
- the low points of the weekend:
- It's been decided that i need counseling... so that's in the works... :-/
- Things ended with the boy.... the conversation went something like this
- my mom and i had a conversation... well no, she had a conversation at me about how she thinks that i have anxiety issues and that that can cause me to freak out andpossibly push nice boys away...
later that night i sent chris a text asking if i was too crazy for him to really like...(and i told him what caused me to ask that) because he was a nice boy and i didn't want to push him away... and this is the conversation that ensued....
Him: No, i do like you, i just have a lot of stuff going on, and i dont want anything complicated. we should talk about this when you get back, it'd be easier
Me: what would be easiest for me would be for you to go ahead and tell me if you're done with whatever we had so i know what to expect when i get home and considering i'm here expecting you to tell me you are done with me, it would just be mean to make me wait for bad news that i'm trying to be ready for
Him: i'm just not in a place where i want to be in a relationship of any sort. i thought i might have wanted that but i'm moving in 2 months then starting a job and i'm not sure things are totally over with my ex. i hope that makes some sort of sense... i'm sorry for doing this. i wish i hadn't been stupid, but i honestly do like you. i'd like to be friends but i'll leave that up to you. i feel like a jerk but i really didn't know i would feel like this. i can't really explain it
Me: it makes sense... and as much as i really hoped this wouldn't turn out like everything else does for me.. it's not entirely unexpected. i actually said from the beginning that i wasn't sure you were over your ex and that i wasn't just a time filler. you've been pulling away for a while which is why i wanted to get the dvd to you asap so it wouldn't be sitting in my room. i believe that you did like me on some level... i dont know how long it'll take me to be just friends - i really like you. but we'll just have to see i guess. Dont feel too bad i guess... i should have known better? but it would've been nice to know sooner
- and that was that... i'm not as upset as i thought i'd be, probably because i felt it coming for so long so i'd already started to detach myself emotionally... it still sucks tho, i feel ready for something, i'm a little disappointed that i spent time and emotional investment on him, when i shouldn't have... and we both had that feeling since the beginning... or at least i did, and he came to that same point too... but whatever. i'm moving on, not wasting time.
- there are changes coming up - maybe some big ones, hopefully all good ones.
" Left uninspired by the crust of railroad earth that touched the lead to the pages of your manuscript.
I took my thumb off the concrete and saved up all my strength to hammer pillars for a picket fence.
It wasn't quiet what it seemed... a lack of pleasantries (my able body isn't what it used to be).
I must admist i was charmed by your advances... your advantage left me helplessly into you.
Talking how the group had begun to splinter and i could taste your lipstick on the filter...
I tried my best to keep my distance from your dress but call-response overturns conviction every time.
My memory cannot recall... a wave of alcohol we shared a cigarette and shaved the hours off.
Lushing with the hallway congregation, my best judgment signed its resignation.
I rushed this...
We moved too fast, and tripped into the guest room "