penny is poison
i don't like it when people leave without saying goodbye...
it's an issue with me, sorry.
i called off work today and i don't even know, i've got a lot running through my mind right now but i don't really know how to get it out and i know i need to somehow. i want to talk. and i feel so lazy, too lazy to type but i guess that's what i have to resort to. you know what i decided? i decided that i like who i am. and everytime something goes wrong, and i think i'm a horrible person or whatever and i say that i hate who i am...it's really someone else's fault and i am not horrible. and i can say this right now because it's not like i'm in a great mood, i'm not. i'm bored and cranky and i can still say that i like who i am and everyone else can shove it if they don't like that. it's so weird how i feel right now, like...i can't really explain it. i feel weird being at home and sitting in here by myself which is probably why i started going to bed so soon because i used to love this, being alone and whatnot, but now i want to have people around and when i'm not with people i get in this horrible mood and i don't know why. i want to be entertained. i want to go swing outside. i want to lay down. i'm listening to metallica. i haven't listened to them in awhile so i thought i'd put them on tonight. i've listened to sims' Rush record so many times, i thought i'd give that a break. why do people only look on the surface of things and never even try to look deeper? i don't understand so many things that people do. i like the way my boyfriend thinks. i like his brain. i'd eat his brain in my eggs anyday. (watch 'the salton sea' now. if you haven't already seen it) i think i might clean tonight. i'm feeling restless. no. i'm too tired. sleep sounds good i think. i can't decide. jessica came in today. i didn't get to see her for very long though...i think i'll see her again tomorrow then she has to go back. i need to get my hairs trimmed. and when i get some money i'm going to dye it again, i think. bbq fritos are so good. i need to stop eating so much junk all the time. i'm going to get fat. that's seriously my biggest fear in life, to get fat. i'm not fat right now, i'm actually underweight for my height. but that's ok. i'd like to keep it that way. i would've just got home from work like a half hour ago if i hadn't called off...man that would have sucked, i'm so glad i didn't go in today. they're all gonna be pissed at me but whatever. it's a job. not a career. i don't plan on working at gabes for the rest of my life. i want to move out of my house. i have a picture in my mind of how i want my place to be. i really just want to be on my own, i wanna make my own rules for once. why can't i save money! it blows. i don't really like sleeping alone. it's nice having someone there, you know. i really like him. i wonder how much he likes me. i wonder what he really thinks. ragdoll- livin' in a movie...hot tramp- daddy's little cutie...so fine, i never saw you leavin' by the backdoor. yeah. i can't wait to get my tattoo. he who made kittens, put snakes in the grass.
no more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
i could not foresee this thing happening to you
it's an issue with me, sorry.
i called off work today and i don't even know, i've got a lot running through my mind right now but i don't really know how to get it out and i know i need to somehow. i want to talk. and i feel so lazy, too lazy to type but i guess that's what i have to resort to. you know what i decided? i decided that i like who i am. and everytime something goes wrong, and i think i'm a horrible person or whatever and i say that i hate who i am...it's really someone else's fault and i am not horrible. and i can say this right now because it's not like i'm in a great mood, i'm not. i'm bored and cranky and i can still say that i like who i am and everyone else can shove it if they don't like that. it's so weird how i feel right now, like...i can't really explain it. i feel weird being at home and sitting in here by myself which is probably why i started going to bed so soon because i used to love this, being alone and whatnot, but now i want to have people around and when i'm not with people i get in this horrible mood and i don't know why. i want to be entertained. i want to go swing outside. i want to lay down. i'm listening to metallica. i haven't listened to them in awhile so i thought i'd put them on tonight. i've listened to sims' Rush record so many times, i thought i'd give that a break. why do people only look on the surface of things and never even try to look deeper? i don't understand so many things that people do. i like the way my boyfriend thinks. i like his brain. i'd eat his brain in my eggs anyday. (watch 'the salton sea' now. if you haven't already seen it) i think i might clean tonight. i'm feeling restless. no. i'm too tired. sleep sounds good i think. i can't decide. jessica came in today. i didn't get to see her for very long though...i think i'll see her again tomorrow then she has to go back. i need to get my hairs trimmed. and when i get some money i'm going to dye it again, i think. bbq fritos are so good. i need to stop eating so much junk all the time. i'm going to get fat. that's seriously my biggest fear in life, to get fat. i'm not fat right now, i'm actually underweight for my height. but that's ok. i'd like to keep it that way. i would've just got home from work like a half hour ago if i hadn't called off...man that would have sucked, i'm so glad i didn't go in today. they're all gonna be pissed at me but whatever. it's a job. not a career. i don't plan on working at gabes for the rest of my life. i want to move out of my house. i have a picture in my mind of how i want my place to be. i really just want to be on my own, i wanna make my own rules for once. why can't i save money! it blows. i don't really like sleeping alone. it's nice having someone there, you know. i really like him. i wonder how much he likes me. i wonder what he really thinks. ragdoll- livin' in a movie...hot tramp- daddy's little cutie...so fine, i never saw you leavin' by the backdoor. yeah. i can't wait to get my tattoo. he who made kittens, put snakes in the grass.
no more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
i could not foresee this thing happening to you